A/N : Yeah, I know, I'm majorly mean for my twisty turny plots and my cliffhangers, but on the up side you guys don't seem to mind too much and keep on reading, and writing awesome reviews for me! Thanx so much for all the reviews. As I understand it the site here now prefers that we don't answer reviews in chapters so this is where I stop writing everybody's name up here, but my sincerest thanks to all of you - if you reviewed, then I mean you! Any particular questions or points I get in reviews that I think require an answer, I will reply with the newly provided private messenging system.
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 25 - The Lonely Days
"Hey" Buffy smiled as Spike finally woke up beside her.
"Hello, luv" he said as he kissed her softly, "You been awake long?"
"A little while" she admitted, "I was just... this is going to sound so majorly weird but, I was just watching you sleep, watching you breathe, it's... I like it. I like knowing you're here with me" she told him, eyes down because she was too embarrassed to look at him, "Sometimes I'm scared that if I fall asleep, the next time I wake up you'll be gone, and it'll all have been a dream"
Spike leaned over her and made her look at him, his fingers lingering at her cheek.
"Buffy, I love you so much" he told her sincerely, "You mean so much to me. We belong together, and I'm never going anywhere"
"I know" she whispered back, "I love you too" she said right before their lips met in a moment of passion. Their arms wound around each other as the proverbial fireworks went off in their heads, exploding with love as their bodies came together once again...
The over-zealous bleeping of the alarm clock jolted Spike awake from another delicious dream that were wonderful when he was having them and so painful when they ended abruptly. He sighed as he rolled over and hit the clock to make it stop it's noise, then lay on his back staring at the ceiling.
Six nights had passed since Buffy had left, and in each and every one he had dreamt of her. Though where they took place and precisely what happened differed each time, the main point was the same. They were together and they were in love and for a few precious moments Spike felt whole, complete, content. By the harsh light of day, realising all he had of her right now was thoughts and memories, it made Spike feel as wretched as he ever had done.
Last Sunday, when he'd raced to the airport to stop his love from leaving him, he'd managed to catch Faith as she boarded the plane. She told him Buffy was gone, though where she didn't know. What she did know was that her blonde cousin belonged with Spike and not back in LA with herself and that tall, dark, and forehead fella she'd brought along for the ride.
Spike put his hands over his face and then ran his fingers back through his hair. He'd had it bleached again, the day after the airport trip. He knew Buffy liked it and when he found her he wanted everything to be perfect. Spike had been so certain of her turning up at Giles House, maybe even being there when he got back with Xander that same day, but as the hours and days ticked by he realised wherever she'd run too, it wasn't the House.
The local hotels had no record of Buffy Summers, and the one she'd stayed at with Faith told Spike the young woman and her friends had gone Sunday night and none of them had come back. At a loss as to know where else to look, all Spike could do was wait and hope, at least that's what Giles had said. He himself had tried to call the Wilkins in California but several times he got no answer on the phone. When he finally got through they seemed less that bothered about their niece's welfare and seemed to even blame her for Faith's running away!
Spike had sat on the stairs and listened as Giles yelled uncharacteristically at Buffy's Aunt and Uncle, firmly putting them in their place for the way they'd treated his God-daughter. It had made the bleached blond smile, but not for long. He missed Buffy terribly, and the thought of her being gone from his life forever was killing him.
With a sigh he dragged himself out of bed and into his clothes before wandering down to breakfast, despite the fact he wasn't at all hungry. He met Willow in the main foyer as she polished the side tables and such.
"Mornin' Red" he greeted her half heartedly, "Giles about, is he?" he asked her.
"He had a meeting" she told him, "But he said he'd try to be back before you left" she smiled.
Spike was planning on visiting Drusilla as he did most weekends. Last Saturday and Sunday, amongst everything that had happened with Buffy, he'd missed his trip to the institution. He had of course made sure he called his sister to explain and she seemed okay with his having missed seeing her. She rambled some apparent nonsense about pixies in her head, and some knight in rusty armour, before giggling and telling him she would look forward to seeing both him and Buffy next week. Spike hadn't had the heart to tell her he couldn't find the girl his sister had taken such a shine to, and that he himself was so head over heels in love with now. No point in distressing poor Dru with his troubles, besides those few days ago he'd assumed he'd have found his blonde goddess by now, seemed he was wrong.
Spike felt ridiculous when he realised tears were forming in his eyes and he sniffed as he roughly wiped them away. Five weeks it was since Buffy had danced her way into his world. She'd stolen his heart in that moment, though he hadn't realised it then. As they'd got to know each other, they'd both changed a great deal, and yet things had ended just as they'd begun. Her running off and hiding, proof of her selfishness and fear combined, and him crying over her like the total ponce he still was underneath it all.
"It'll work out, y'know" Willow said, smiling sadly as she dared to reach out her arms and hug Spike. He was such a nice guy, always treated her and everyone else like they mattered. Buffy had changed his clothes and hair, given him a confidence in himself that was not a bad thing, but she'd also broken his heart and Willow hated to see him suffer.
"I have to think so, Red" Spike sighed as he hugged her back for a moment and then released her, "Can't stand to think I might not see her again. Keep dreaming about her, 's drivin' me crazy"
"I'll bet she misses you too" Willow told him making him almost laugh, "William, I know she's hurt you, but I think she might be hurting herself too. She loves you, I'm sure she does"
"Believed it before" Spike sighed, "Startin' to wonder now... I know you're right really, deep down I do" he admitted, "She told me, she looked so sincere, but it scares her I know it does"
"Love's a scary thing" Willow nodded, "Makes you do the wacky sometimes"
Spike smirked at her phrasing as he stood there with his hands in his pockets now, feeling so lost.
"Just hopin' the next 'wacky' thing Buffy decides to do is come back here" he sighed, "She comes off all hard and bitchy but underneath it all, she's just a little girl Will, a scared and lonely little girl that's so frightened that if she let's herself love someone they'll be taken away from her" he said as he remembered the conversation they'd had the morning after their first time together.
"I can't imagine what she went through" Willow shook her head, "It was hard enough when my Dad died, but I was older and I had Xander and my Mom and everything" she recalled, "Buffy was so young and her parents were really all she had"
"I could kill her bleedin' Aunt and Uncle for what they've done to her" he said, suddenly looking so angry, "They made her suffer almost as much as the scum that took her parents from her" he said with a shake of his head, "Poor bint got caught up in her cousin's jet stream and spiralled out of control til she..."
"Til she met you?" Willow smiled as she finished his sentence for him, "You showed her Will, you did it. Showed her that life doesn't have to be all black and dark and violent. She didn't just change you, you changed her too, or maybe you didn't change her to anything, just back into what she always should have been..." she frowned as her sentence ran on too much, "and that all sounded way better in my head" she admitted.
"Think I got the gist, pet" Spike smirked, "And I appreciate what you're trying to say, but I'm startin' to think maybe I need to get on with my life. 'S one thing to hope Buffy might come back but, I can't let her take over everything"
"I guess" Willow agreed, though she wasn't sure how she'd ever deal if Wesley went out of her life. He meant so much to her, if he was to up and leave like Buffy had done to Spike, she wondered if she could get on with things and forget so easily. She doubted it was going to be so simple for Spike either, but she respected him for trying.
Even with the music blaring from the radio all the way, Spike found the journey to the institution far too quiet and uneventful. For the last couple of miles he attempted to cheer himself up, look happy and upbeat for Dru's sake, but in reality he was tired and fairly depressed. Still, it would not do for his sister to see him so down. Her pain was his pain and vice versa. If he went in there looking like a wet weekend she would only get upset herself and that became a vicious circle as he would feel wretched for distressing her.
The nurse led him up to the room and checked everything was okay before letting him inside. The strange smile on the older woman's face made him wonder if she knew something he didn't and it wasn't until he got right into Drusilla's room and turned around he realised what that something was.
"Here he comes, our special prince" the pale skinned girl grinned, clapping her hands as she ran at her brother, "Look what the naughty fairies of fate have done" she giggled as she looked between Spike and the girl that sat on the bed.
"Buffy?" he gasped in apparent shock as he stared at her, "I don't..." he didn't have words for what he wanted to say and Buffy herself seemed similarly at a loss as she got to her feet but remained several feet away.
"Now the happy fireflies can dance again" Drusilla smiled as she led Spike by the hand until he was standing a few inches in front of the young woman he loved, "All is right with the world" his sister said firmly as she picked up Buffy's hand too and placed the two people's palms together.
Spike and Buffy hardly noticed what she was doing as their eyes remained locked. It was only when their fingers touched and familiar electric shot up their arms that they realised.
"Well, come on then" Dru snapped, clapping her hands twice and looking almost cross with them, "Why won't you kiss and make up, you silly kittens"
"Drusilla" Spike gave her a warning look, though it took all his willpower to take his eyes off Buffy for even that briefest of moments. He looked back when he felt Buffy's hand slip away from his and she went back to playing the edge of the modest blouse she wore. She actually looked fairly smart and demure in her pants and shirt. Though her clothes were still black, her make-up was almost non-existent and the dark streaks in her hair had almost completely grown out by now. She looked terribly young and scared suddenly, but only for a moment until the shutters went down and her eyes hardened.
"I should go" she said, turning to grab her purse and jacket. Dru's hand on her arm stopped her.
"No" she snapped, "I won't stamp your permission slip, you can't leave yet"
"Dru" she whined, not wanting to upset the girl but not sure how to deal with Spike either. A part of her knew she was likely to find him if she came here on the weekend, so perhaps that was what she wanted deep down, but she was so confused by her feelings for him. All he had to do was look at her and he overwhelmed her, and right now his eyes would not leave her face.
"Please, Buffy" he begged of her, "Stay a while, for Dru's sake if not for mine"
Closing her eyes for a moment Buffy took a deep breath and then released it as she sat down heavily on the bed once again.
"There now" Drusilla smiled, "Looks like sister dear shall stay then" she said delightedly, "Though we should stand her in the corner, for being such a naughty girl" she whispered to Spike who frowned slightly.
"What does she mean by that?" he asked Buffy who glanced away.
"Nothing" she said absently but Spike knew there had to be something in it. Drusilla talked a great deal of nonsense, but the strangest thing was, almost everything she'd said about Buffy had always meant something in the end, even her mad idea of them one day being sisters, since Spike was so in love with the blonde he knew he would one day want to marry her if she would have him.
"Hide and seek, hide and seek" Drusilla sing-songed, "Used her faith to hide when you peeked" she giggled.
"Faith?" Spike echoed, wondering what she had to do with Buffy's disappearing for the past week. Surely he'd seen her get on a plane back to LA with that poofter, Angel.
"I used her name, and some cash she gave me" Buffy admitted, "I've been staying at the hotel that you took me to, where Dawnie lives" she said, glancing up at him.
"Bloody hell" Spike gasped, "I checked there, but of course I asked if you were there. Never occurred to me you'd be so desperate to get away that you'd book in under someone else's soddin' name" he laughed humourlessly as he sank down into the chair opposite.
"I wasn't desperate to get away" Buffy argued, "Or maybe I was but... it's complicated" she sighed, hating that it was so true.
Drusilla glanced between the two then made a big deal of yawning loudly and rocking the dolly in her arms like a sleeping child.
"Princess and Miss Edith need their rest now" she said with a dramatic gesture, "Children should run along and play elsewhere" Dru told them as she closed her eyes as if to sleep, though she was still standing up in the centre of the room.
"Think that's a hint, luv?" Spike asked Buffy who couldn't help the slight smile that formed on her lips, partly from Drusilla's antics, and partly because it was so nice to hear Spike call her 'luv' again, even if it didn't necesarily mean quite what she hoped.
"Maybe we should go" she agreed, getting to her feet, "Although a moment ago certain princesses were telling me not to" she smiled as Dru opened one eye and looked at her.
"I do not need to hear your lovers chatter" she said with a shake of her head, "I would be peacemaker to your war, but now I shall be bridesmaid when the water is all safely under the bridge, and wrapped in Mummy's arms" she said seriously as she hugged Miss Edith too her, "One for sorrow, two for joy"
"'S what they say" Spike agreed as he moved to hug his sister, "I'll be back tomorrow, pet, I swear"
"Ssh, naughty William" she surprised him by scolding him as she pulled away, "Mummy says it's rude to swear"
He rolled his eyes as Buffy took her turn at saying goodbye to Dru, also promising to come back gain for another visit at some point, though when was not to be firmly settled yet.
Though Spike and Buffy left the building together, they didn't say a word until they reached the front desk. The assistant there asked Buffy is she would need a cab called to take her back to the hotel and the blonde glanced at Spike before answering.
"No, thanks" she smiled briefly at the other woman, "My friend will take me"
The two blondes continued out of the main doors and Buffy followed Spike over to the waiting car.
"Is that what I am then?" he asked as he unlocked it and they climbed in, "Just a friend?"
Buffy stared at him for a long moment before expelling a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and turning to look out of the passenger window and answering him almost too softly for him to hear.
"I wish I knew"
To Be Continued...