"Brooke calm down…" Nathan got ready to stand up but stopped when Brooke turned around to glare at him. She looked like she was ready to kill somebody but he could also see the pain and sorrow buried deep down in her brown eyes. Nathan sat back down next to Haley and she immediately grabbed his hand.

"No I won't calm down Nathan because this woman has no clue what she's talking. She thinks that if Peyton sits in her office for the next couple of months then everything is going to magically get better. Sorry but it doesn't work that way. Peyton might tell you exactly what's on her mind one day but when she opens up and she can feel again things are not going to get better." Brooke could hear her voice cracking as the memories began to invade her mind.

"Miss Davis I never said that things would get better right away. I know that it's going to take time and a lot of work. What I did say was that things are going to get worse before they get better." Dr. Benson said trying to defend herself and her work but Brooke didn't accept her answer.

"Believe me I know things are going to get worse but please tell me, if worse for Peyton leads to dead how are things going to get better. Is she going to suddenly come back to life again and all will be right and everyone will be happy." Brooke waited for the Dr. Benson to answer her.

"With help things won't get that far. Hitting the bottom is a lot for a person to deal with but if she has support she can get through it."

"And whose gunna help her…you. Are you going to be her support system? Just so you know I was her support system and things did get that far." Brooke returned to the window. She could feel her body beginning to shake. She was angry with the psychiatrist but she was scared about Peyton.

"Well with more then one person to be there for her she can survive this and with professional help she can learn how to deal with her feelings. Things…"

"I really don't wanna hear this. I've heard most of it before and it's nothing more than a load of crap. Professional help?" Brooke retuned to the desk and leaned closer to Dr. Benson. "I stole over $1500 from my parents bank account so that Peyton could go to therapy for two months. Guess where it go her, I'll tell ya…in the hospital." Brooke used her arms to push herself away from the desk, but she didn't take her eyes off the woman.

"Brooke what are you talking about?" Lucas questioned her as he tried to register everything he had heard. He didn't want to believe that Peyton was suicidal but that's what it sounded like.

"After two months in therapy Peyton did start to feel again. We were in her room one day and she just cracked. She started shaking and rocking back and forth but she didn't seem to hear anything I said. After about ten minutes she just stopped out of nowhere and said she had a headache. So she got up and walked out her room and down the hall to the bathroom. When the door closed I didn't think anything of it, I figured she just had to go to the bathroom. When I heard the medicine cabinet slam I figured she just closed it too hard but after about 5 minutes I went to see what she was doing. When I knocked on the door…"

Flashback

Brooke knocked quietly on the bathroom door. "Peyton…" When there was no answer she knocked a little louder. "Peyton what are you doing. I know you can be slow and all but it doesn't take that long to get Advil." Brooke gave a small and worried laugh.

She leaned her head to the door and put her ear against the wood, pushing her high ponytail to the side. "Peyton are you even in there still or are you in some other room watching me make an idiot out of myself." Once again the brunette waited and once again nothing happened. She could feel her heart beat speed up and she jumped back when she heard things crash to the floor.

"Peyton please answer me" Brooke tried to open the door but it was locked. She fumbled repeatedly with the knob. "Peyton this isn't funny open the door." She let go of the knob as she heard someone inhale sharply on the other side of the door.

Brooke pulled a small bobby pin from her hair and began trying to open the door. "Peyton I'm not joking, open the damn door. Peyton please open the God damn door" Brooke could feel the warm tears that slid down her face as she struggled to open the door. She heard the small lock click and she turned the knob and pushed the door open.

"Peyton…" she screamed as she fell to her knees. She looked down at the blonde who could barley keep her eyes open. Brooke reached up and grabbed a towel from the rack and held it against Peyton's wrist as the growing pool of blood stained her bare knees.

End Flashback

Brooke wiped the tears that had broke free from her eyes and took a deep breath. "We stayed like that for about and hour and then we eventually made it back to her room and she stayed in bed." Brooke looked at the psychiatrist. "Since you know so damn much do you know what it's like to be 11 years old and watch your best friend try and kill herself and then have to wipe up the blood from off the bathroom floor while she's sleeping."

"Brooke how does nobody know about this" Lucas whispered quietly as he looked up at the brunette.

"Because it was nobody's business and it still isn't. There are a lot of things that people don't know Lucas. You've met her dad and you know how much he loves his daughter but what you don't know is that Peyton thinks that part of him hates her. It's her excuse for why he's never around. Even after he took shorter jobs so he could be with her more she still thought that. Peyton's convinced herself that she can't be loved and that's why she has such a hard time with you." Brooke could feel the tears burning behind her eyes as she watched the pained look that cascaded over Lucas's face.

"I don't think that I helped that situation any." Nathan said as he looked down at the floor. He knew that he had loved Peyton but he also knew that he never showed it. He felt Haley squeeze his hand tightly.

"It's not your fault Nathan. You can't blame yourself for this." Haley told him reassuringly.

"But he's right Hales." Brooke said as she looked at the couple. "I'm not tying to make you feel bad or anything Nate, but Peyton didn't think that you loved her. But who am I to say anything, I wasn't any better. I made her feel bad for being in love with you Luke." Brooke ran her hand through her hair and sighed.

"Everyone of us has done something to make Peyton feel unloved, but that doesn't make it our fault. There are much bigger issues in her life other than petty quarrels she's had with us." Haley said as she walked over to Brooke and laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I know Hales." Brooke said as she did her best to smile. Her smile quickly vanished however as more memories came back to her. Brooke has opened a door that she had locked years ago and now she couldn't shut it again.

"Miss Davis I think you need to speak to someone. You've had a lot to deal with at a young age and you can't keep things like that bottled up." Dr. Benson said as she leaned back against her chair.

"Will you shut up!" Brooke tore away from Haley's slight grasp and faced the psychiatrist again. "Your voice is like this little annoying gnat that won't go away. What is it going to take for you to understand that you don't know anything about Peyton and you definitely don't know anything about me. Try and put yourself in Peyton's shoes for just one minute. Just put one foot in and that'll be just the beginning of her life. Your 19 years old. Your mother has been dead for nearly eight years and your father is never home. You go to sleep at night knowing that the last thing you said to your mother was 'I hate you." Every Mother's Day you have to walk through the streets and watch everyone else be happy. You had a boyfriend on and off for nearly three years and your relationship was basically for appearances and sex. Then you break up and when you feel yourself falling in love with another guy your best friend takes him from you and then forces you to hang out with them. When you can't keep your feelings inside anymore and you slip up and kiss the guy your best friend gets pissed off at you and you can't get with the guy because your too busy hoping that your friend will forgive you and you know that if you go near him she'll get more pissed. So you watch helplessly as you break the guys heart and that just adds to the guilt. Hoping the guy will forget about you and move on, you start to date another guy. During that relationship the guy beats the living shit out of you and then tells you that it was your fault and that you asked for it and you believe him because you think that it's always your fault. The guy gets you hooked on drugs and when you finally break up with him you go trough hell to get yourself clean and do you know who helps you, the guys whose heart you broke and there goes more guilt. Then the other asshole keeps appearing in your life but you have to push through that. So then 7 months ago you get pregnant and things are finally going right in your life but suddenly the asshole pops up again. Then 4 days ago you have a miscarriage. Now factor in that fact that there are things that there are other things I'm not telling and other things that I don't know. Think about that before you open your mouth and say that you know what kind of pain people are going through and how to help them."

Brooke had tears streaming down her face when she finished and she was breathing heavily. She knew that she had made her point when Dr. Benson didn't respond to her. "Brooke…" the brunette spun around when she heard the woman call her name. She didn't expect her to say anything at all. "That would mean that you don't know what Peyton is going through"

"I never said that I did, but I have a better idea then you and the rest of the people working here. I was 12 and I walked into Peyton's room and found her on the floor. I screamed and ran to her side and had to call 911 because she wasn't conscious and was barley breathing. I spent 3 days next to her hospital bed because she wouldn't wake up. When she did wake up she told me that she didn't mean to take all the full bottle of Tylenol. She said that she just wanted her headache to go away. So after the bottle of painkillers didn't do anything she took two sleeping pills so she could go to sleep and she wouldn't have to feel the pain. The pain that her therapist told her she needed to feel. So like I said don't give me your bullshit because I'm not gunna waste my money so you can pretend like you're helping her." Brooke walked over to the couch and grabbed her purse from the corner and stormed out of the room.

Peyton looked up when she heard Brooke's black heels click towards her and then stop. "You ready to go home Peyton?" The brunette asked in a sweet tone, a complete mood change form just seconds ago. Brooke locked arms with Peyton as the blonde stood and led her out of the hospital. "SO how about that shopping trip I was telling you about." She said as she laid her head on Peyton's shoulder.

Lucas, Nathan, and Halley stood at the door of the office and watched as the two girls walked out into the parking lot. "She seems to have a lot of her own issues to be worked out." Lucas heard Dr. Benson comment as he turned around to stare at the woman.

"Yeah I know she does. But I also know that everything she said was true and that she loves her best friend and would do anything for her. Those two have a really special and strong bond that I don't think anyone will ever understand and I know that you don't. Yeah Brooke was rude to you today but her and Peyton haven't really had anything but each other since they were little so they stick together. I'm sorry for wasting your time today but we won't be coming back." Lucas let the door close behind him and the three teens walked out of the building to meet up with Peyton and Brooke at the car.

The ride home was silent. Lucas dropped Nathan and Haley off at the café then drove back to Peyton's. While Peyton walked into her house Lucas grabbed Brookes arms and pulled her back towards him. The brunette looked at him in confusion.

"Brooke I know that this is harder for you then it is for the rest of us because you've had to go through this before. But…" She cut him as she shook her head gently.

"Lucas you have it harder then I do. I know you might not want to look at it that way because your tryna be strong for everyone but the truth of the matter is you just lost your son and now you've basically lost Peyton. You're right this is hard but you don't have to do this alone and you don't have to burry the pain because if you do you're putting yourself in the same situation as Peyton. I know I do that and I'm trying not to because even through it seems easier now it's harder in the long run." Lucas watched as the tears streamed down the brunettes face. He knew she was right but he wasn't ready to face things yet, he just wanted Peyton to get better, whatever it took.

"Brooke, Peyton's gunna be okay, I know she is. It might take a lot of time but I'm sure Peyton will be back to normal eventually and you'll have your best friend back." Brooke put her head down and focused solely on the floor. "Brooke we'll all get through this together."

"Lucas you never knew Peyton Sawyer and that's a really sad thing that I regret." Brooke continued looking at the floor.

"What do you mean" Lucas asked her quietly, not completely sure that he wanted her answer.

"I mean my best friend's never coming back to me" The brunette said, her voice cracking before she stopped speaking.

"Yes she will Brooke, eventually she will." He tried to reassure her.

"No she won't!" Brooke screamed as she looked up at him, a new set of tears breaking through, unfortunately they didn't carry the pain with them. "Lucas the last time I saw my best friend was eight years ago crying at the foot of my bed. She stayed with me all night and when I woke up in the morning she was gone and there was the Peyton that you got to know. Every now and then a glimpse of her come back and I hope with all I have that it's real but it always disappears. When she got pregnant she was o happy. That was the real Peyton that I had met in kindergarten, the one who's always smiling and laughing, the Peyton without a car in the world. I thought that she was really back, that I really had my best friend back after all these years. I thought that everyone was going to get to know a side a Peyton that's been long forgotten. But then she left again." Brooke looked into Lucas's eyes to see the tears glistening in them. He reached an arm out to her put she pushed him away.

"Brooke…"

"No Lucas. Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer died 8 years ago and I miss my best friend and I'd do anything to see her again but I now know that she's never coming back. She's just not." Brooke gave one last look into Lucas glistening blue eyes and then turned and walked into the house. Lucas stood there, unable to move as he watched Brooke wipe the tears from her face before she enter the house and made her way up to Peyton's room. He looked into the upstairs window and watched as Brooke pulled Peyton into a tight hug and then swung her arm around the blonde's neck. He didn't know how she could hide her feelings the way she did but he knew that he had to do it too as he forced himself to move. Lucas closed Peyton's front door silently behind him and then walked up to her room.

"What took you so long broody." Brooke bit the edge of her tongue and hit him playfully in the arm. She seemed genuinely happy but Lucas knew that she was being torn apart inside. As the day progressed he watched Brooke interact nonchalantly with Peyton, and Lucas couldn't help but wonder if the things he knew of the girls were real or if they were merely an act put on to fool the crowd.