Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, Naruto, Peacemaker, Shinsengumi or Star Trek Voyager…
The story Misao refers to here is a short story by Nobuhiro Watsuki called "Crescent Moon in the Warring States" published with volume number 6 of the manga and it is a completely separate story that has no direct connection to the Kenshin story arcs and it is my favorite side story ever! Check out volume six if you can or email me for more details!
Part 5: Killing me softly…
Aoshi hurried through the maze-like streets of Kyoto taking the shortest route possible to the Haruno's house. Kate-sensei's words resonated in his head.
"Only Misao knows what will make Misao happy…" she had admonished and now here he was racing towards her and he still didn't know what to say her. What could he say to someone he's taken for granted for so long? Someone whom he'd abandoned more than once? How much worse had his presence in the Aoiya made things for her? Far worse in fact, because he had completely ignored how much she needed him and ignored her pain. He had left her to suffer all those "injustices" on her own!
"Will you abandon your pride…" a pang of guilt stabbed his heart as he recalled Kate-sensei's words and hadn't Kenshin uttered the same words to him in Shishio's mountain fortress? He had returned with the intention of honoring the sacrifice that Kenshin had made in that duel and to provide Misao with the protection and guidance that she needed, but instead he had wallowed in guilt and self-pity, greedily accepting the selfless love and care that she had offered him, giving almost nothing of himself in return.
'But what can I do?' he asked himself starting to feel more than a little frustrated. He had made a promise this afternoon to her grandfather and now he realized that to fulfill that promise he would have to continue to ignore her lonely pain and perhaps eventually lose her to Shuhei or someone like him. That thought was so horrifying he shook it away and tried to concentrate on what he was going to say, but his resolve began to waver as he recalled the promise he'd made earlier that afternoon at the shrine. Lord Makimachi's respect and admiration had meant everything to him so could he really go back on that promise now? If not, what could he say to Misao then? Should he apologize? Should he thank her? Would she accept either? Would it be enough?
'Yes she will and no, it won't be enough at least not to me…' he realized remorsefully, she'll probably tell him he needn't do either, that she does everything because she likes to. She's probably convinced herself that it's somehow her duty to look after him because she's the last of the old Edo group. He sighed and pushed himself to greater speed. Kate-sensei was right, things had to change!
'I'm sorry Lord Makimachi but you're dead and she's alive, I'll protect her happiness the way she wants me to! I'll do whatever it takes!' he decided fervently. Suddenly he heard Lord Makimachi's cheerful laughter. He stopped and looked around; he could've sworn he'd heard it as clearly as if he'd been running right along side him. He shook his head slightly and continued racing towards his destination. The smiling image of Lord Makimachi appeared clearly in his mind. He'd always laughed cheerfully when Aoshi performed a particularly difficult task or fulfilled a tricky assignment
'Well done Aoshi!' he would declare cheerfully and ruffle his hair and because he wanted that praise and acceptance so badly Aoshi had always strived to perform above and beyond what was expected of him. Though he'd never really shown it on the outside he had lived to hear his mentor laugh and utter those words. He realized that it was much the same with her. He yearned for her acceptance and forgiveness. He lived to hear her laughter and her voice. He smiled…
'It's been a while Master, I'm sorry I took so long to figure it out, I promise I'll do better from now on!' he pledged and again he heard that cheerful laughter but even more clearly this time. He rounded a corner and slowed down to a brisk walk. Sasuke was walking down the street and he had a worried look on his face. He kept glancing behind him at Sakura's house and he was so distracted that he didn't see Aoshi coming.
"Good evening Sasuke," he called out in greeting, Sasuke turned clearly surprised to see Aoshi
"Good Evening Lord Aoshi," Sasuke replied but didn't notice Aoshi flinch at the use of the honorific. It seemed strange, up until this morning the title hadn't bothered him, so why did it bother him now? Misao had always called him that and her closest friends had simply picked up on it. He surmised that it was because it distanced him from Misao and he no longer wished to remain distanced from her life.
"What's wrong Sasuke?" Aoshi asked as he approached. Sasuke just shook his head it seemed he was trying to decide whether to go back to Sakura's house with Aoshi or not. Aoshi stopped for a moment to allow him time to decide. Finally Sasuke joined him
"It's just that Sakura's brother and his friend Kamo crashed our party…" he began as the two walked back towards the house. Sasuke explained that the two men were very drunk and were trying to pick a fight with them but if Sasuke had responded Sakura would've had to deal with the consequences so instead he'd walked away.
This came as no surprise to Aoshi. Misao had complained once about what an awful person Sutesuke turned into when he was drunk and how unfairly strict Sakura's father was on her. He recalled advising her that whatever hardships her friend faced would only make her stronger and that her moral support would show faith in her friend's abilities to conquer her adversities giving Sakura the strength to press on.
He smiled as he recalled how excited she'd been with that simple piece of advice and told him she couldn't wait to share it with Sakura. That was the last time they had gone on one of their trips to the cemetery together before he went to America. They'd gone to the cemetery after he returned from America but they hadn't stayed long because he was "sick" and still recovering from his long trip so she had insisted on going right back to the Aoiya so he could rest. She had practically stuffed him full of tea and would still be fussing over him if it hadn't been for Kate-sensei telling her to back off. He smiled…
"Sasuke, have faith in Sakura. Misao doesn't befriend people who are weak, be patient," Aoshi began remembering that Misao had once told him that Sasuke only took seriously those who showed physical strength
"Strength doesn't just come from fists and weapons, Sakura will find her own strength and overcome her problems soon enough," Aoshi reassured. Sasuke smiled and nodded he finally understood why it was Misao idolized him he didn't say much but when he spoke it was to say something meaningful.
"I understand," Sasuke replied. So the two walked back towards the house together and Aoshi asked him what he thought about what happened yesterday at the base.
"I'll tell you the same thing I told her, the only thing she injured was my pride and let me tell you I needed it!" he chuckled
"Oh? How so?" Aoshi asked curious of Sasuke's reaction. Sasuke shrugged
"I'm guilty of what everyone else is, I underestimated her just because of the way she looks and acts," he explained then he smiled, "but I swear I'll never do it again!" he declared and Aoshi was pleased to hear the slight note of challenge in his voice it showed his respect and admiration for Misao's abilities. However, he would make sure to become more involved in her martial arts training so she could always stay ahead of all those who would challenge her strength.
"You know, we better hurry Sutesuke and Kamo are highly blitzed and if they pick a fight with Misao, they're dead," Sasuke said sounding a bit worried and began walking faster
"I'm sure Misao will be able to prevent any unpleasant confrontations," Aoshi countered but he lengthened his stride to keep up with Sasuke
"Yeah well... normally that's true and she does cut Sutesuke a lot of slack for Sakura's sake but if he does something stupid like say something nasty about you or the Aoiya…" he hesitated, his boyish face seemed even more troubled
"Explain?" Aoshi asked not liking this turn in the conversation
"Well, you see when Sutesuke gets really drunk he starts making fun of everyone and everything and whenever anybody says anything bad about you or the Aoiya Misao totally loses it!" Sasuke clarified as he sped up towards the house.
Aoshi frowned at first he couldn't understand why anybody would say anything bad about the Aoiya but bad things to say about him he could understand. Then he realized Kate-sensei had said half the men in this town thought of her as a "trophy" perhaps when they realized that she was not so easily "won" their injured pride would force them to lash out at her in whatever immature ways occurred to them first.
'Of course Misao's nature would not allow an evil comment about someone - or something - she cared about to pass lightly!' he thought as the two men entered the gate of the Haruno's place. He was about to question Sasuke further but stopped as they heard screaming
"SUTESUKE THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! GET OFF OR I'LL KICK YOU SO HARD YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT FOR WEEKS!" the unmistakable sound of Misao's angry voice reached them all the way out to the front gate. From across the courtyard they could clearly see into the large room where the party had been held and the current sight froze him in his tracks. There was a man lying on top of Misao pinning her wrists down to the ground with his hands he laughed and said something that Aoshi couldn't hear. Misao's face suddenly transformed from mild annoyance and disgust to complete rage.
"THAT'S IT YOUR DEAD!" she yelled and Aoshi couldn't agree more as he launched himself forward…
Misao slipped her wrists out easily from Sutesuke's hold causing him to lose his balance but before she could roll out of the way or even begin her counter attack Sutesuke suddenly flew off of her and crashed into the opposite side of the wall. His body landed in a heap and didn't move again. She gasped in shock when she realized who had hit Sutesuke. Aoshi was kneeling next to her his eyes now fixed on Kamo, they glowed with an eerie light that she'd seen once before on the day he almost killed Okina. She sat up quickly and put herself between him and Kamo
"No please Lord Aoshi! He's not worth it!" Misao pleaded her anger instantly transforming to fear 'if I lose him now I won't be able to get him back!' she thought panicking. Kenshin had been the only person capable of reaching Lord Aoshi in his demonic state but his Hiten mitsurugi was no longer strong enough to tame the demon Lord Aoshi had kept on a tight leash since their last fight. If it were to be released now Lord Aoshi would be lost to her forever
"Please Lord Aoshi!" she begged pressing her palms against his chest. The dangerous glow of his eyes dimmed somewhat at the sight of the fear in her eyes. The pleading tone in her voice made him back off slightly. Sasuke entered then and was about to ask Misao if she was alright but Kamo interrupted
"Why the hell d'ya stop the show?" Kamo slurred drunkenly obviously unaware of the immense peril he was in. Aoshi's eyes lit dangerously again and Misao resumed her fearful pleading.
"Kamo, you idiot for once in your pathetic existence keep your mouth shut!" Sasuke yelled at him but Kamo was so drunk he was oblivious of Sasuke's attempt to save his life. He cursed at Sasuke and shuffled to his knees intent on reaching that last bottle of sake that obviously Sutesuke wouldn't be drinking. Unfortunately, Aoshi interpreted his movement as the beginning of an attack and attempted to launch himself forward to counter. To his amazement he found himself physically anchored to his spot.
"Please Lord Aoshi he's not worth it!" Misao yelled desperately into his chest. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his chest and her knees were firmly anchored to the floor, every once of her strength was put into the task of keeping him from moving. The surprise of being immobilized by Misao distracted him from his target for a moment and Sasuke took that opportunity to move quickly around the two and pound Kamo into unconsciousness, effectively saving his life.
The fear and desperation in Misao's voice finally snapped Aoshi back into reality. The old demon that had stirred awake for a moment shrunk back into slumber and he immediately ceased his attempt to break from her hold. He eased back onto his knees his arm wrapped around Misao's now shivering body and he pulled her toward him.
"I'm sorry, are you all right?" he asked softly, inwardly he cursed himself for his lack of control. His other arm came around and began stroking her back gently and she stopped shivering then pulled back and smiled up at him
"Yes Lord Aoshi I'm fine," she replied relieved. Naruto asked her the same question as he rushed into the room she gave him the same answer she'd given Aoshi but with great enthusiasm. Aoshi frowned he didn't like it when she hid her feelings behind a mask of false cheer. He realized guiltily that in the past year the difference between false and real cheer had become extremely difficult to see.
"What happened?" he demanded as he immediately made his way towards Sasuke. At the first sign of trouble Saya had left the room to alert Naruto that things were starting to go bad, he ran back to the room as soon as he heard Misao screaming. Sasuke beckoned him to help pull the unconscious men out of the room promising to explain what happened on the way back to Sutesuke's room. They each grabbed one man by the legs and dragged him out of the room making the extra effort to turn them into human mops and absorb the sake and miso soup that was still on the floor with their clothes. They laughed at their mischief as they made their way out into the hall exchanging colorful remarks about Sutesuke's character and his poor taste in friends.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Aoshi asked watching Misao carefully she was wiping her face furiously with the sleeve of her kimono. It was a habit she'd picked up around her seventeenth birthday. He lost count of how many times a day she washed her face and occasionally she would come back from an errand and she would be scrubbing furiously at her face. He'd never thought anything of it but now he wondered if there isn't a deeper reason behind it. His conversation with Kate-sensei was making him re-think everything he thought he knew about her. She stopped and looked up
"Oh, yeah!" she began cheerfully, "no problem! I'm good Lord Aoshi!" she replied looking as happy as she usually did but his instincts told him that she was hiding something. Sakura and Saya finally showed up, Sakura continued in the direction Naruto and Sasuke had gone. Saya stayed behind and went to sit next to Misao. Her hands began to move in the intricate gestures of the sign language Mrs. Kate had taught her and her friends. Misao turned to Aoshi to interpret Saya's question but he held up his hand to stop her
"I know, she asked if we're all right," he replied, they stared at him in astonishment. On the day he sailed to America, Misao's friends had shown up at the dock to say goodbye and he had been embarrassed that he could not understand what Saya was saying so once they had set sail he had asked Kate-sensei to teach him. Misao smiled but again Aoshi noticed that something about that smile seemed wrong.
"Kate-sensei taught me," he explained briefly again Misao smiled cheerfully and gushed about how amazing his ability to learn so many languages was. He took her hand
"We should leave," he said softly cutting off her exposition, usually he loved to hear her lavish praise but today it made him feel like a hypocrite. She looked confused for a moment as he gently pulled her up, this was the first time he'd actually cut her off but then she smiled again.
"Of course, just give me a second ok!" he released her hand and she rushed off with Saya calling back to him that she'd meet him by the gate. He made his way back to the front gate trying to quell the feelings of frustration and anger burning inside him…
Misao rushed through the house in a hurry to get to the well. Her hands shook as she hurried to fill the bucket she relaxed slightly as the cold water splashed against her skin. She splashed her face again and again and scrubbed furiously at her cheeks.
"Damn it!" she cursed, "after all my hard work!" she despaired. This morning she had finally achieved what her heart desired most, she had made him smile! He had smiled because he was proud of her. He was proud of her strength
"Damn it!" she cursed again, "he should have found me with his face under my foot! Damn it!" she cursed once more feeling at the brink of tears, anger raging inside of her. The last thing she ever wanted was for him to see her in a position of weakness. Viciously, she pulled off the ribbon on her hair and she would've thrown it on the ground but remembered that it wasn't hers (it was Sakura's) and squeezed it tight before setting it gently on the edge of the well. She shook her head fiercely and swore to herself she wouldn't cry at least not here and not now.
"I'm all right," she assured her friend as she felt Saya's hand touch her shoulder gently. She turned and gave Saya a weak smile but she didn't return it. She envied Saya, beautiful, sweet but shy her problems would soon be over. As soon as Naruto graduated from the special training they would reveal to Sakura and the others their secret love and would marry. She'd never have to deal with Sutesuke and his drunken harassment ever again. Naruto had long since gotten over his childhood crush for Sakura but continued to pretend because the last time anyone had suspected Saya of having a boyfriend Sutesuke had been particularly vicious with his harassment.
Saya and Naruto thought nobody knew but she wasn't a ninja for nothing and she was proud of the fact that she had been able to secretly help them to keep everyone from finding out! (She hasn't even told Lord Aoshi or Mrs. Kate!) Being away in training Naruto wasn't able to protect Saya but soon they'd be together and she knew Naruto would make sure Sutesuke paid ten-fold the hardships he visited on his future wife. Again Misao smiled she really was happy for Saya and Naruto!
She took the towel that Saya was offering her and dried her face. She had to face Lord Aoshi so she forced herself to put her anger and tears aside. It was damage control time and she would just have to dig deep and pull out every reserve of strength, there had to be a way to fix things! It occurred to her that she'd consult with Mrs. Kate. She was always full of good advice and best of all she never judged her. She could always express her true feelings to her and never fear that her concerns would be put down as unimportant or childish. She took a deep breath and drawing strength from the promise of being able to pour her heart out later to Mrs. Kate she turned around to face the world again.
"Misao, he's waiting," said Sakura softly as she joined Saya and Misao at the well. Misao smiled at her but Sakura did not return it
"I know! Don't worry! I'll fix everything!" Misao declared trying to sound cheerful and confident but neither one of her friends returned her smile. Sakura stepped closer.
"You took off the makeup," Sakura whispered sadly
"Yeah! Makeup just doesn't suit me you know! Okon's gonna have a fit when she sees what happened to her kimono though," she replied examining the sleeve with the remains of her lipstick and rogue on it
"Oh well, she shouldn't have let me wear it!" she shrugged then laughed cheerfully, neither of her friends joined in. They both knew her well enough to know that she was putting on an act. Misao frowned she hated worrying her friends
"Ok you guys, stop it! Stuff like this happens to me all the time! I can deal with it! Now stop worrying!" she ordered sternly with her hands on her hips she gave her friends a serious look. Saya just looked at Sakura
"But I wanted him to see how beautiful you looked today…I thought if he saw you like that he'd start falling in love with you," Sakura whispered, sorrow putting a catch in her voice
"Sakura what are you…? Oh, please don't tell me Okon and Omasu talked you into their crazy matchmaking scheme!" Misao gasped in horror as Sakura nodded. She sighed in exasperation she'd been aware for some time now that Omasu and Okon were trying to get her and Lord Aoshi together and the two women got so excited and happy when they were planning and plotting she had never had the heart to tell them it was never going to happen. She resolved then and there that she was going to have a serious talk with those two.
"Sakura, listen Lord Aoshi cares about me but not that way, I'm more like a little sister to him," she patiently explained though it tore her heart in two to finally admit it out loud, "he loves me just not that way, ok!" she put one hand on each of her friends shoulders and they both began to cry.
"All right stop already! There's no damage done that I cannot fix! I'm a ninja after all! Just leave it to me!" she declared boastfully sounding far more confident than she felt. She hugged her two friends tightly whispering reassurances then stepped back and smiled
"Well! Better get going! The sooner I get home the better! Tell the guys I'll see them tomorrow, ok!" she stated cheerfully. As she hurried off she didn't see the change that suddenly came over Sakura. Her brother had ruined everything and she vowed at that moment that it would be the last time!
Aoshi had to reach for every ounce of self control in him to keep from going back in the house and beating the life out of those two drunks. Unbidden the image rose in his mind: Sutesuke lying on top of his Misao, her cheerful face twisted in rage and disgust. Vaguely he wondered what could that idiot have said that could have possibly been worst than what he was doing. He clenched his fists tight and forced himself to remain where he was. He turned as he saw her hurry towards him. Her face looked flushed and her bangs looked wet.
'She must've been washing her face,' he reasoned thinking he would've probably done the same in her position again the image rose in his mind and with great effort he forced the anger boiling to the surface back down into the depths of his soul.
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I'm ready now Lord Aoshi," she said timidly, the angry look in his eyes making her cautious. He shook his head slightly and his face returned to its usual stoic expression.
"It's all right Misao but are you sure you're ok?" he asked solemnly
"Yes! I'm fine! Let's go!" she replied cheerfully. He took her hand again and they hurried off…
Misao walked quietly next to Aoshi, he hadn't let go of her hand and she was having a little trouble keeping up with his longer stride. She watched shadows lengthen as the sun set in the western skies painting the waters of the river on their left crimson and black. At first she relished the fact that he was holding her hand but now she was starting to get irritated at being dragged down the streets of Kyoto like a misbehaving little girl. However, she was reluctant to say anything to him since it was obvious just by glancing at him that he was really pissed off!
'If you want people to treat you like an adult then you must act like one!' Mrs. Kate had admonished her long ago on a day that she'd been yelling at Kuro for treating her like a little kid in front of her friends. Since then she had toned down her yelling and made greater efforts to control her temper and be more diplomatic.
'Easier said than done!' Misao thought and though a lot of people did treat her like an adult these days the ones closest to her still treated her like a precocious child. His grip tightened on her hand and he began picking up speed again. She clenched her teeth to keep a fearful gasp from escaping her lips. If he kept speeding up she was going to trip and fall flat on her face and that was just an embarrassment she wasn't willing to tolerate from anyone, even Lord Aoshi. She took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she needed to do…
Aoshi rushed away from the Haruno's place his mind completely focused on only one task: getting Misao away from that place as fast as he could! He knew he wouldn't be able to do anything to Sakura's brother tonight but he could come back in the morning. Once Sutesuke and his friend were sobered up a little then they would pay!
'Besides, I promised Kuro and Shiro that I would include them the next time!' he thought as again he tried to stamp out the images that kept popping up in his mind. Is this the type of injustices Mrs. Kate had referred to? Does she always have to deal with situations like these? The logical part of his brain forced him to analyze the situation with detached clinical observation. Yes, Misao had been disgusted but she had not looked worried or afraid and by the time he punched Sutesuke she had already freed herself from his grip. He knew from experience that every woman in the Oniwaban was trained to be an expert escape artist to protect them from the horrors enemies inflicted on captured females.
'I'm sure that Omasu or Okon must've taught her more than one way to get out of that type of situation and Sasuke did say she cuts Sutesuke a lot of slack so she probably was trying to end the situation peaceable for Sakura's sake,' he concluded at the same time wondering how many times she had to use such defensive techniques. He quickly shook that thought away, he didn't want to think about how often useless morons had forced Misao into a situation where she had to defend herself.
'So they crawl out of the woodworks and throw themselves at her caring not at all about how she feels or what she wants!' those had been Kate-sensei's scornful words. 'Yes, most likely she has had to defend herself often!' he realized guiltily feeling just as angry with himself as with those men for his inexcusable neglect. Unconsciously his hand gripped hers a little tighter and he walked a little faster. Suddenly he felt her hand ripped away from his and he turned instinctively seeking to regain his hold on it but stopped as he took one look at Misao.
"I'm sorry Lord Aoshi, but I'm having trouble keeping up with you," she explained as she clutched her hand to her chest but what really surprised him was the defiance in her voice. He stared at her in confusion for a moment, was he reading her face right? She looked…angry…at him! No, that wasn't possible she was never angry at him
"I'm sorry…I didn't realize…" he began hesitantly but stopped because the defiant look in her face was completely throwing him off and his tongue had already betrayed him several times today…
"I'm not as fast or as strong as you are Lord Aoshi," she continued feeling more than a bit resentful, of all the people in her life, if there was one person she thought she could count on to never treat her like a child it was her beloved Lord Aoshi, it hurt to think she'd been wrong.
"And just so you know I wasn't going to let Sutesuke get the best of me! Just because I'm not the strongest or the fastest in the Oniwaban that doesn't mean I can't take care of myself!" she stated looking at him suddenly feeling betrayed but with a mighty effort she resisted the urge to yell, stomp away or hit something telling herself sternly that only little kids do that! She looked at her hand and tried to massage away the ache his grip had created and with deliberate slowness she walked over to a short bench at the edge of the river. She sat as gracefully as she knew how all the while sternly instructing herself that adults maintain they're dignity even when they are tired and angry.
Aoshi was suddenly rooted to his spot. She had never, ever spoken to him like that and it was more than a bit disconcerting! A voice in his head that sounded a lot like Hannya was demanding that he correct the situation immediately. The grace in her soft steps as she walked away from him jarred him out of his reveries.
'Oh, good job Aoshi, you have now managed to add insult to injury!' he scolded himself as went after her and sat next to her
"I'm sorry Misao, I didn't mean for you to think I doubt your abilities I know you're more than capable of handling any situation, the truth is I just reacted I didn't think and I'm sorry if I offended you with my thoughtlessness," Aoshi explained feeling that somehow this apology wasn't quite enough.
"Oh, I see…" she replied confused 'He "just reacted"? What's that supposed to mean?' she wondered, the girly part of her brain that always pictured Lord Aoshi as the hero of every fairytale calmly explained that he was "reacting" as a jealous boyfriend would but she shook her head.
'Reality check, Misao! He doesn't see you that way and you know it! Don't fool yourself!' she scolded herself, 'he's just doing his "brotherly" duty and he just can't help feeling responsible for me,' she reasoned sadly as she glanced out of the corner of her eye she could easily tell he was pretty mad. He was probably berating himself for not being close at hand to protect her
'…Like a good big brother is supposed to,' she thought glumly but took a deep breath and shook her sadness away, her mission after all was to drive away his guilt and pain not to add more to it.
"It's ok Lord Aoshi! You don't have to worry about me! You trained me remember! So you just let me deal with guys like Sutesuke ok!" she informed him amiably. Aoshi frowned he knew what she was doing: she was piling on herself all the worries and responsibilities to protect the peace and tranquility of his life.
"No, it's not ok. There is no reason why my Leader should have to be troubled by scum like him. They should always treat you with the utmost respect," he countered a little more heatedly than he intended. Misao just looked bewildered
'Ok, that's new! He never calls me that…' Misao thought surprised and not quite sure how to respond at first with this sudden outpour of righteous indignation. Then a little voice inside her that sounded a lot like Ms. Megumi gave her the answer; a little voice that always pushed her mind in the most cynical and jaded direction; a little voice that said all men are stupid, silly creatures that need everything laid out clearly or they get lost in their own little heads; a voice that constantly reminded her that she was nothing but a silly dirt-faced little girl not the star of her very own fairytale and no amount of face washing, makeup or pretty kimonos was going to change that!
It was a voice that she first started hearing on the day Kenshin's son Kenji was born, Ms. Megumi got drunk and a few of her comments had hit too close to the mark. She had tried to fight off the voice but it had been gaining power over her since then, especially after all the failed miai she made herself attend for Okina's sake. In an odd way she drew strength from that voice, strength to face the reality of her life and accept it as is with no prince riding to the rescue, no happily ever after.
"Well, I hate to break it to ya Lord Aoshi but most guys these days are like Sutesuke and I've been dealing with them for so long I don't even give it a second thought anymore!" she retorted sarcastically and she laughed.
A chill ran down Aoshi's spine as he heard the bitter cynicism in her laughter. For an instant he pictured a future in which Misao's smiles were cold and false. He forced that thought away and hoped with all his might that he would never have to hear that bitter laugh again that this was a one-time fluke. He shook his head unable to dislodge the image of a future in which Misao looked and sounded like Megumi Takane. He couldn't accept it, it wasn't Misao
"It's not fair…" he said softly unwilling to believe that his innocent and cheerful ninja princess could possibly cease to exist one day
"But that's the way it is!" she countered evenly, "Especially for girls like me with no father or husband, guys just think they can walk all over us! It's hard but its life!" she explained shrewdly and bent down to pick up a tiny pebble and flick it with her thumb into the river. "It could be worse though, I could be forced to marry someone for money or prestige but instead I can say whatever I want and live my life the way I want to, believe me I count myself among the lucky ones!" she added with a cynical undertone that sapped away the warmth from her voice
Aoshi just stared at her in utter shock wondering if this meant he was too late to tell her how he felt, too late to make it up to her. He hated to admit it but Shuhei was right the men her age could never understand the wonderful person that she is and by the time they were mature enough to appreciate someone like her the beautiful person that she is would be gone. He shook his head again
'No! There must still be hope! There has to be a way! I won't lose her too! I refuse to lose her!' he decided as he feverishly searched his mind for the right words that would bring back his cheerful and happy ninja princess and banish this dark and cynical woman sitting next to him
"So don't worry about that stuff Lord Aoshi! It's just not worth brooding about it! Just about every guy these days is like Sutesuke and their just not worth wasting time thinking about 'em!" she shrugged and reached down to grab another tiny pebble and casually flick it into the river
"Could that possibly be so? Is there really not a single person worthy of your time and affection? It just doesn't seem like you to say something like that…" he countered cautiously, he was still having trouble accepting that this bitter and cynical woman talking to him was the same selfless and caring woman who cried her heart out in his arms just this morning in the kitchen. To his continued amazement she rolled her eyes and sighed in mild exasperation
"Do you remember that story Hannya you used to read to me all the time?" she asked with a forced patience that suggested she was trying to explain a simple concept to a particularly dense child for the fifth time
"Yes, it was "Crescent Moon in the Warring States" it was your favorite," he replied softly wary of Misao's attitude
"As you know in this story Princess Natsu falls in love with a swordsman who is of course beneath her rank he obviously reciprocates but like a good little honorable samurai he keeps his distance and follows his master's commands," she rolled her eyes again in annoyance and Aoshi suppressed a shiver that the cold mocking tone in her voice was provoking.
"Her father sends her off to marry a psycho called Iwano from a neighboring state in the hopes of establishing a peace treaty with said state but since he is the villain of our story he promptly breaks the treaty as soon as he has his greedy little hands on our beautiful heroine, but wait there's more!" she exclaimed in that cold mocking tone rolling her eyes once more
"Even after his Lord and the rest of the royal family were executed, what does our gallant hero do? He spends nearly the rest of the story wallowing in self-loathing and wishing for death when what he should've done is rush right back over to that psycho's stronghold and rescue the princess the instant Iwano backstabbed her father! He's so stupid!" she ranted on bitterly.
'Where is all this darkness coming from? Did my thoughtless neglect create this?' he asked himself too horrified by Misao's new interpretation of what used to be her favorite story to say anything
"Lucky for Princess Natsu though he acquired a wise - if cowardly - little sidekick who kindly points out to him that obviously she'll never be happy again if he dies and thus our brave hero gets a clue; kicks Iwano's butt and goes to rescue his beloved princess and then its happily ever after people!" she added sounding angry and disgusted.
"See, my point is Lord Aoshi that first and most important of all: I am not a princess; second: there are no gallant heroes in the world and third: the only types of guys around here are greedy fools like Iwano who don't really care about anything except satisfying their own greedy little hearts," she concluded casually 'besides there's no such thing as a fairytale ending at least not for me' she added glumly to herself
"So I'd rather be alone than spend the rest of my life with some greedy, selfish psycho, thank you very much!" she added cheerfully sounding as bubbly as she normally sounded she turned and smiled at him
"You know we should get home it's getting late!" she pointed out and cheerfully bounced off the bench, she bent down to look at him and smiled again, "come on Lord Aoshi let's go!" she added sweetly but Aoshi wasn't fooled. It was painfully obvious to him that her smile was false and her eyes were devoid of the joy that usually accompanied her smiles. He realized that now was the time to say what was in his heart, if he didn't her joy would eventually fade and he could look forward to nothing but a lifetime of false smiles and cynical opinions.
The only ray of light was that it wasn't too late. Her new interpretation of her story was an absolutely perfect metaphor for him! After all, he had been a fool wallowing in self-loathing and guilt wishing for death and he had abandoned his princess in the process. Her obvious anger with the hero meant that he still had a chance to redeem himself and protect her happiness and he knew now just what to say! Even the part about a wise sidekick pointing out the obvious to him was true although he would not categorize either Kate-sensei or Shuhei as cowardly.
"No, the story is not over yet…" he said shaking his head and her smile was replaced by a puzzled expression. There was an odd light in his eyes that she hadn't seen before, no scratch that! She had seen that light before, briefly on the day he'd arrived from America
"Are you ok Lord Aoshi?" she asked softly slightly worried that he might be coming down with a cold or something like on that day. To her great surprise he smiled
"I'm fine…I'm sorry it took me so long," he said in a soft purring tone that made the little girly romantic part of Misao squeal in delight and shushed the bitter cold voice in her mind. She swallowed hard wondering what in the world she did to get him to do that!
"Um…Lord Aoshi?" she asked hesitantly, he just smirked in a strange way that made her insides twist in a knot and gave the girly romantic side of her free reign with her imagination! He wrapped his hands around her small waist and pulled her back towards the low bench and knelt in front of her. That simple touch was making her stomach do flips and that little girly voice in her head that had given her the "jealous boyfriend" theory began chanting: I was right! I was right! The bitter cold part of her suddenly had nothing to say
"Misao, I came back from Shishio's Lair because I didn't want you to be sad or lonely anymore. I chose to live after my fight with Himura because I wanted to be here to protect your happiness but so far I've done a very poor job," he began gently. Misao's fingers fidgeted nervously she shook her head and was about to deny it and reassure him that she really was happy but his fingers touched her lips softly making her mind suddenly go blank.
"Wait! Let me finish…" his voice had an unusual intensity to it that she'd never heard before. The touch of his fingers on her lips was almost enough to melt away the cold that had been creeping into her heart lately. His hand moved slowly and gently to her cheek caressing her face as it went, her breathing sped up and her eyes went wide as she waited expectantly for him to continue. He smiled again, he was glad she'd taken off that ribbon tying her hair back; he liked it better when her hair was free
"Misao, I love you and your happiness means more to me than I can express in words! If you tell me that I'm not too late and that my love is worthy of you I will spend the rest of my life making sure nothing disturbs your happiness ever again!" he promised fiercely. The passionate intensity in his voice made her heart pound violently and she thought for a moment that she'd actually stopped breathing. The little girly voice in her head that had been nothing more than a light whisper lately suddenly roared at the highest volume
"YES!" she exclaimed loudly joy dancing in her eyes the girly romantic side of her completely took over control of her body and she threw her arms around him and added
"I love you too Aoshi Shinomori!" she declared gleefully and as he wrapped his arms around her waist; pulled her towards him and kissed her deeply she realized that this was certainly more than enough to melt away the ice that had been restricting her heart lately and she happily melted into his embrace.
Well, now that those two are together I can finally get to the part of the story I've been dying to write! No, it isn't a lemon or an intense make out scene (when I write that I will let you know where I'm posting it! Ok!). Not to give anything away but one of the things I like most about our (way-too-beautiful-to-be-a-guy!) ninja master is watching him twirl his short swords in that lethal dance of his! So I can't very well end this story without a chance to see him get to kick some serious ass! No, it will not happen against Sutesuke! That idiot doesn't even deserve to be spit on by our beloved ninja master!
Also, there will be a bit of insight on what Kate-sensei is…but just a bit. Stay tuned!
Autumndays: I am glad you're still enjoying the story. I hope you hang in there for the finale there is some more fluff coming up and then…well you'll just have to read!