Chapter 21
He said yes. With their eyes open, they moved into a muted haze, the sounds and sighs of the world vanishing, as they began to feel one another. His heart beat into her chest, as he laid her back on the bed. She felt his weight upon her, the tight sinews of his muscles etching along her curves. She wanted to speak, but the words wouldn't come out, as his kisses sent her spiraling, spiraling, spiraling beyond her control, and she held tight to him, as his hands explored, touched, and discovered, and she tried to gasp, but the air caught in her body, trapped in the pit of her stomach, and she moaned as his hands pushed her pantaloons down, but he didn't hear her and he kept moving down, down, down, making her back arch like the Bridge of Sighs, and her hands reached for him, and he reached for her, and they linked and pulled themselves into each other, and when they cried out, only the angels could hear them sigh.
"For heaven's sake, Lizzie, calm down! You're going to give me another heart attack with all your fussing!" Josef playfully swatted at her hand as she and Harrison helped him walk down the stairs for breakfast the next morning.
"I can't help it, Josef. I really do think it's too soon. And Dr. Hanson said—"
"I don't care what Dr. Hanson said! The best medicine for me will be a healthy breakfast at my dining room table with my beautiful girls surrounding me." As they reached the bottom of the stairs, he turned to Elizabeth, and gave her a swift, final peck on the nose. "What is the harm in that, my dear?"
"I'm not sure you'll feel the same way when you see the rabble that Michaela has brought home with her."
"Oh? She didn't mention anyone last night."
"Good mornin'!" Abagail's bright voice called down from the top of the stairs. Her curly brown hair was wild and tangled, and she still donned Michaela's old nightgown.
"Do you see what I mean?" Elizabeth pointed out, but Josef didn't hear her disparaging tone. A smile crept across his face as the little girl waved at him, and he found himself waving back.
"Are you gwanpa?" She asked, stepping down next to the railing. Josef raised his eyes brows at the sudden question, but he nodded anyway, even though he didn't have any idea who this child was.
"Oh goody!" Before they could stop her, Abagail climbed on the banister and slid down to the bottom of the stairs.
Elizabeth's eyes nearly fell out of her sockets as the little girl bounced up and gave Josef an unassuming hug. Josef's cheeks flushed as he chuckled at the little girl. "Mama says hugs always make ya feel bettah."
"Well, who might you be, miss?" Josef asked warmly.
Elizabeth stepped forward and put her hands on Abagail's shoulders, pulling her out of Josef's arms. "Michaela has taken it upon herself to raise this child, Josef."
Josef's eyes quickly went to Abagail's, as he saw her face fall with Elizabeth's callous explanation. He smiled at Abagail and took her hand in his. "I bet my daughter is a good mother to you. I know she must love you a great deal. And you know what? That means Elizabeth and I will love you just as much."
Abagail's smile returned. Joseph looked at Elizabeth, giving her one final warning glance. "Now. What do you saw we have some breakfast?"
"That surely sounds good to me!" Robert E exclaimed from the top of the stairs.
"Oh for heaven's sakes…" Elizabeth sighed as she watched her husband reach for Robert E's hand. This household was turning into an absolute circus, and no one seemed to care but her!
"I'm glad to see ya doin' better, Dr. Quinn. I never seen anyone so determined as Dr. Mike to get home to her pa."
Josef nodded slowly as his eyes conveyed deep happiness.
"Speaking of our wayward daughter, where is Michaela? She's usually the first one up! She's not one to sleep in." Elizabeth's eyes went towards the stairs, dread filling cell of her being.
"Michaela…" He said her name once, his lips just grazing her neck. "Michaela, ya have to wake up now. We're back."
Michaela pressed her head against Sully's shoulder. "Back? Sully?"
Sully brushed away some loose strains of hair that had fallen in front of her face. "It's almost seven a.m. Ya folks are gonna be wonderin' where we were."
Michaela sat up slowly and opened her eyes as she felt a sudden jolt. "What happened, Sully?"
Sully smiled patiently as she gathered her bearings in the carriage. "We were over at Martha's house, and ya fainted. Ya were out for a while, Michaela. But then ya got up, and ya seemed fine. Quiet, but fine. Ya started givin' Rose the mercury treatments. And when ya were done, ya laid down on their couch. Ya seemed peaceful, so I just let ya sleep."
Michaela shook her head, completely confused. "Where we you?"
Sully put his arm around her. "On the floor, next to ya."
Michaela closed her eyes again, recalling the vivid but surreal dream. She shivered as she stretched her arm across his torso. "I knew you were close."
Sully inhaled as he felt her hand across his stomach. Her touch was positively kinetic. "Ya did?"
She looked up at him, and whispered timidly, "I was dreaming about you."
Sully, equally as bashful, asked, "Yeah?"
"You were saving me."
Sully tightened his hold on her shoulder. "Ya don't need savin'."
Michaela shrugged. "Maybe not. But I need you."
"That's why I always stayed close. I couldn't be too far from ya, even though it hurt. I needed ya too much." They looked at each other, eyes on eyes. Michaela swallowed as the carriage stopped in front of her house. She never knew whether she was consuming him or he her.
"In my dream…we…we—" Before Michaela could finish her thought, Sully leaned across the carriage and kissed her, her thoughts finishing in his mouth as their lips moved together in hungry deprivation.
Sully pulled away from her, his face flushed and his breathing ragged. "We what?"
Michaela bit her lip in attempt to calm herself. "We should go inside."
Sully grinned knowingly and turned to open the carriage door. Daylight shone down upon them. No one could doubt they were in love. It couldn't be hidden, especially from two dark, diseased eyes staring at them from the end of the sidewalk.
Cambridge, Massachusetts 1852
The front door slammed and David jumped up from his studies. Suzanne ran into the parlor, and David's chemistry book fell out of his hands as he immediately ran across the room to her and took her in his arms. "Thank God you're back, David," she cried into his shoulder.
"What happened, Suzie?" He asked urgently, letting his fingers run through her blonde hair.
"He came back… He came back—"
"Who?" He pulled away from her and finally saw the gray bruise across her face.
She immediately tried to hide the bruise from him. "I was visiting Mama, and he showed up. Mama tried to stop him, but she couldn't. He's crazy, David. He's completely insane."
David rubbed her shoulders as she rambled on, trying to calm her down. "Suzanne… I can't help you if you don't tell me everything that happened."
"I—I…" she stammered.
"Take you're time, Suzie. I'm listening."
"My…stepfather did something bad to me." David watched Suzanne's hands go down to her stomach, and his eyes jerked up to meet in her eyes.
"Did he touch you with his hands?" He whispered, his heart sinking.
"Yes," she said, barely audible.
David swallowed, and he tried to control his shaking joints. "Did he… kiss you?"
Suzanne nodded and closed her eyes, crying.
"Ok… ok… Don't worry. I'll talk care of you." He pulled her back into his arms, closing his eyes. "We'll go to the hospital and I'll get you a medical examination—"
"No David!" Suzanne exclaimed, pulling away from him. "I don't want anyone to know what happened to me! People will think I'm dirty…"
David shook his head. "No they won't… I'll be with you."
Suzanne walked across the room, her arms circled tightly across her chest. "No you won't. I'm not good enough for you now. I'm damaged. You're going to want someone who's clean and virtuous—"
David chased her and grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him. "Stop it, Suzanne! I—I love you! Do you hear me? I love you, and this is not you're fault!"
A hesitant smile broke out across her tear stained face. "You won't leave me?"
David took her hands in his, and kissed her forehead. "I won't leave you, I promise."
Colorado Springs—1873
Abagail tore through the streets of Colorado Springs, scaring all of the horses and alcoholics outside of The Gold Nugget. She ran all the way to Loren's store, bursting through his customers until she reached the stairs that led to their room.
Colleen Cooper stood at the counter and spun around as the hurricane known as Abagail passed by. She looked at Loren knowingly, and said, "Why don't ya let me check on her, Mr. Bray?"
"Aw, go on. That girl is impossible right now. I don't know what to do for her."
"It's just—"
"I know." Loren sighed. As soon as Colleen disappeared upstairs, Brian ran in the front door, completely out of breath.
"Well, that explains it!" Loren exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "Now I know what's wrong with my granddaughter. What did you do to her now?"
Brian froze in his tracks and blushed guiltily under Loren's gaze.
Abagail lay faced down across two twin beds pressed closely together. Colleen gently knocked on the door.
"Go away!" Abagail mumbled into her pillow.
"Don't ya want to talk, Abby?" Colleen said soothingly as she sat down beside her.
"There's nothin' to talk about. I'm fine," Abagail said stubbornly as she wiped away her tears.
"Alright. Well… maybe this will make you feel better." Colleen unhooked the delicate charm bracelet from her wrist and placed it beside Abagail on the bed. Abagail looked over and saw the beautiful detailed jewelry and knew immediately who it had belonged to.
"Wait!" She said as Colleen was about to leave. "This was Mama's, wasn't it?"
Colleen nodded and walked over to the side of the bed. "She gave it to me the first night she stayed with us in the boarding house. Ya hadn't even been born yet."
Abagail put it on her wrist. "It don't look right on me. It would look good on Mama though." Abagail's face crumbled as she kept staring at the bracelet. "I miss her… I miss her so much."
Colleen froze when she realized the affect the bracelet had on Abagail. She didn't know what to do.
As Abagail cried, the door opened again, and she heard soft footsteps on the floor, until a small body was cocooned beside her. Little hands played through her hair, and she fell asleep as she heard the soothing words, "Enaootse, hemeho."
Chapter 22
As Michaela and Sully stepped through the front door, Harrison rushed to take their coats, his eyes wide with urgency.
"What is it, Harrison?" Michaela asked.
"Well, miss…. They're waiting for you in the dining room." Harrison raised his eyebrows uncomfortably. "All of them."
Michaela and Sully braced themselves, finding strength in each other's eyes. Side by side, they strode across the Entrance Hall and into the abyss.
Around the table, the entire Quinn family gathered, mercilessly trying to talk over each other, but none of them to be outdone by Miss Sully. She was the center of attention, and absolutely loving the inquisitive doting from Josef, Rebecca, and Marjorie. Claudette and Maureen asked the occasional question, attempting to sound interested in the girl, but they were really trying to bring the focus of the conversation back to their own daughters.
But at the foot of the table, Elizabeth sat quietly, barely touching her breakfast. Her eyes kept averting to the two empty chairs set for Sully and Michaela, who were now fifteen minutes late for breakfast. She was past disapproving; she was seriously worried about her daughter now. But in a split second, her worry dissipated, reducing to shear horror as she saw Michaela and Sully standing in the doorway, just as they were letting go of each other's hands. They looked awful, as if they had been up all night, and they were hardly appropriately dressed for breakfast.
Completely loosing her grip on her glass of orange juice, the shattering of Elizabeth's best crystal silenced the family.
One by one by one, heads turned around as they realized that Sully and Michaela were standing in the doorway.
Maureen and Claudette perked up as they saw their father's favorite daughter completely disheveled, her porcelain doll face cracked, standing next to a man…well, a man they would have never brought home.
"Well this should be quite interesting," Marjorie muttered under her breath as she dabbed her lips with her napkin. Rebecca heard her, but quickly covered her alarm by sending a brave, welcoming smile in Michaela's direction.
Josef stood up slowly as he took in the altered appearance of his daughter and the man she was standing next to. "Mike?"
Michaela locked eyes with her father. She could always read him, but not in this moment. She took a deep breath and made a decision. She was not going to hold back. She put her arm through Sully's and walked with him to the head of the table.
Marjorie felt for Rebecca's hand under the table. "What is she doing?"
"Father, I would like to introduce you to Mr. Byron Sully. Sully, this is my father, Dr. Josef Quinn." Josef narrowed his eyes, sizing up the man Michaela obviously cared a great deal for. The first time he had met David, he had immediately taken his hand in his. He had judged him based on his family, his education, his dress, and the fact that he was a doctor. He hadn't taken the time to look into his eyes until much later. And by then, it was too late.
Sully looked straight into Josef's blue eyes, and he saw a true father looking back at him.
Sully didn't know what Josef was looking for, but he held his eyes as several quiet moments passed.
Michaela tightened her grip on Sully's arm. She didn't expect this from her father. At all. To a fault, he was kind and friendly to most people that came through their door. But now?
Josef could sense the tension in his daughter, but he had to know. He had to know that the man before him was different—good enough, strong enough, the one for his daughter. The last months that David and Michaela spent in Boston were forever imprinted on his mind. The more time she spent with David, the guiltier she became until she could barely look him in the eye. He couldn't bear to go through that again.
Sully slowly put his hand over Michaela's, it's going to be alright, and moved away from her, in front of Josef. It's going to be alright. He held out his hand steadily. "Dr. Quinn, I'm glad to see ya doin' better."
Josef held out his hand tentatively and said with veiled meaning, "You're late."
"It's my fault. Michaela needed to sleep. We had a long night," Sully said innocently, not knowing that he had sent Elizabeth into a tail spin at the other end of the table. Marjorie's eye's bugged, and she was all but buried in her napkin at this point.
"Michaela Anne Quinn!" Elizabeth Quinn was on her feet. "I need to speak with you alone in the parlor. Now!
As Elizabeth pulled Michaela out of the room, Josef turned back to the table, glancing at Sully. "Well, I think Elizabeth has made her point. Why don't the rest of you finish your breakfast. And Mr. Sully, why don't you come with me?"
Like magic, the table returned to its meal, the clanking of silverware against crystal continued, all except for one setting. Abagail sat as still as she ever had, except for her bottom lip, which slightly trembled. Finally, she asked innocently, "What did Mama and Papa do wong?"
Josef leaned on Sully as they walked side by side through the glazed over blanch gardens. They walked slowly, and neither one of them spoke for a while. "You know when not to speak, Mr. Sully. An admirable quality. A necessary one in this situation. How old are you?"
"Twenty-eight."
Josef nodded. "I see. Wisdom has yet to settle with you yet. It will though. I see the same in Michaela. She's going to be a remarkable woman once she let's go of the past."
Sully looked at the older man, and said honestly, "I'm tryin' to help her do that now."
Joseph stopped by the gazebo and sat down heavily. "So she's told you everything?"
Sully nodded and said confidently, "Yes, and I don't believe she was responsible for the death of that child."
Josef exhaled. If there was one thing he knew for certain about this man, it was that he had complete and utter faith in his daughter. "I never truly believed it either, but no one can change the fact that Michaela gave Caroline those drugs the day before she died."
Sully pressed. "Which weren't tested."
Joseph concurred guiltily. "Yes."
Sully began to pace, looking at the winter sky. "And there's another fact to consider—David."
A knot formed in Josef's throat. He innately had bad feelings about David, but to be responsible for the death of a child? "David? David was hardly involved in that case. He only came by because Michaela was involved, as I recall."
Sully turned to him, seeing the fierce denial in Josef. He knew they would have a hard time convincing anyone that David was guilty if they couldn't even convince Josef. "Sir, I know this might be upsettin' to ya, but I've even seen David behavin' callous and hateful. The night my wife died, he talked as though Michaela would deliberately kill my wife and child, Dr. Quinn. The way he said it—it was almost inhuman. And after Michaela told me her story and how David was the only one to stand by her, it just seems all very suspicious to me."
Josef put his hand over his heart, trying to calm himself. "Dear God… You think he's been using her has his alibi all these years?"
Sully stepped forward. "That's exactly what I think, Dr. Quinn."
Josef closed his eyes. "And she's technically still engaged to this man?"
Sully's voice cracked. "Yes."
Josef opened his eyes and looked at Sully for a long moment. "You're in love with her, aren't you?"
Sully nodded and whispered tenderly, "She's my heartsong."
"You really were late then."
"Calm down, mother!"
"I demand to know where you are Mr. Sully were last night!" Elizabeth slammed her fist down on the parlor table.
Michaela shook her head. "What does it matter? You'll still disapprove of him even though we did absolutely nothing wrong!"
Elizabeth glared at Michaela and sat down daringly. "Try me."
Michaela knelt down before her and took her hands. "Alright. I will tell you. But you have to promise me to remain quiet the entire time."
"I promise," Elizabeth said shortly.
"Martha came to me last night and told me that her sister was sick. So Sully escorted us over to her house, where I treated her sister. It was a difficult case, mother, and I didn't handle it well. I fainted, but I got back up and kept treating her. By the time she was comfortable and asleep, it was late, so Sully and I stayed at Martha's family's house," Michaela sighed.
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. "Where did you sleep?"
Michaela put her head in Elizabeth's lap, completely frustrated. "On the sofa, mother."
"And Mr. Sully?"
"He slept beside me. On the floor."
"How chivalrous!"
Michaela sighed and smiled. "I think so."
"Michaela—"
Michaela sat up and put her hand up, cutting off her mother. "He's a good man, mother. Please don't judge him. Get to know him first at least."
Elizabeth closed her eyes, exasperated. She did not understand her child at all. "I'll…try."
She leaned forward and kissed Elizabeth on the cheek. "Thank you, mother."
"I'm only doing this because I love you." She hesitated a bit before leaning closer to Michaela. "And I know…"
Michaela took her mother's hands. For the first time in her life, she saw uncertainty on Elizabeth's face. "You know what, mother?"
The voices of Sully and Josef could be heard in the foyer and Elizabeth quickly touched Michaela's face, her voice elusive, "I just know."
"Well ladies," Josef called from the doorway, "Did we get everything worked out?"
Sully helped Josef walk to a chair, where he gratefully sat down. Elizabeth quickly came to stand beside him, resuming her position as the doting wife. "Yes, yes, we did, dear. I am done breaking crystal. As long as you two let someone know where you are going the next time you need to go save a life."
"Yes, mother," Michaela smiled and looked at Sully hopefully, who had a calm, but unreadable look on his face.
"Well Mike…" Josef looked up at her, his expression almost mirroring Sully's. "As a father, I've never been in this position. Now that I am, I don't believe I really have the right to tell you what to do with your life. I just hope with all my heart you find the answers you are looking for. I hope you can finally have some peace, happiness…" His eyes veered slowly towards Sully's. "And love."
"Thank you, father."
As if they all exhaled at once, Josef turned to Elizabeth, taking her hand in his. "I'm done with all this serious business, Lizzie. It's time to dance."
Elizabeth threw her hands up in the air. "Dance? Josef! I swear your head is going faster than your heart! You can't dance! Dr. Hanson said—"
Josef put his arm around her waist affectionately. "Lizzie, I could die tomorrow for all we know. I refuse to spend my life sitting down. We're having a ball!"
"A ball!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
Michaela laughed, "Father, really…"
Joseph looked disappointedly at his daughter. "Michaela, not you too."
Sully elbowed Michaela. "Might do him good."
"Sully!" She couldn't believe them!
"What?" He shrugged innocently.
Josef smiled, knowing he had won. "I knew I liked you, son. Come help me up. We'll go tell the others."
As the men left, Michaela went to go stand by her mother. "I married an absolute lunatic, Michaela."
"Don't worry, Mother. I'll be there to monitor him. I won't let anything happen. He is right in a way… I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life lying in bed."
Elizabeth nodded, trying to smile, but then her voice broke suddenly as she said, "I just can't stand the thought…"
"I know…I know…" Michaela wrapped her arms around her mother and rested her head on her shoulder.
State Lunatic Hospital of South Boston
Round and round and round she goes, where she stopped, where she stopped, where she stopped—Suzanne kicked the gray stones on the wall, her chipped toes nails cracking, scarlet seeping through the faults.
She closed her eyes, seeing those colors, those maddening horrible colors that wouldn't leave her mind. Brown and green. He was looking in those eyes, not hers. He was smiling in those eyes, not hers.
She strained her arms, strained them, trying to reach her face, her eyes, but they were tied down, locked in white. She screamed out in agony. Here eyes would never be the right color.
The next morning, Michaela sat on the edge of Rose's bed, administering the mercury treatments. Michaela, while much calmer than the night before, avoided the unwavering stare of Rose O'Brien.
"All done," Michaela said, as she began to pack up her medical equipment.
"I'll go get your coat, Dr. Mike," Martha said, before leaving the room. When Martha was gone, like rising from a fog, Rose slowly lifted her hand and put it over Michaela's.
"He…he had ya picture," she whispered hoarsely, her eyes sharp and bitter.
Michaela froze as her body went numb. "Who?" She asked quietly, although she knew before Rose said.
"David." Michaela stood up from the bed, her body trembling with realization of what that meant.
"So he's…he's…" An uncheck sob escaped her mouth. Michaela didn't know whether to be shocked, relieved or angry.
"He's got it." Rose answered.
"Where is he, do you know?" Michaela asked urgently, her mind reeling.
"He deserted. I don't know. I left a short while after he did." Michaela nodded and wiped her eyes. "But Dr. Quinn… you should know… something isn't right about him. At first I thought he was just a strange man…but something is off in his head."
Michaela nodded, her arms like a straightjacket around herself. "If untreated, syphilis can cause mental illness in the latent stages."
"Will it happen to me?" She asked, frightened.
"I don't know." Michaela turned to Rose, uncertainty in her face. "Hopefully we started the treatments in time, but if we didn't I can't promise you anything."
Cambridge, Massachusetts—1852
"I'm so glad it's all over," Suzanne smiled as they walked hand in hand throughout the estate.
"I can't wait to tell father that we're engaged," David beamed, smiling back at her.
"What do you think he'll say?" She asked, as she began to spin around him, picking up speed.
"I don't know. Hopefully he'll be happy for us." He squeezed her hand and laughed as she circled around him.
"I hope so!" She laughed until she collided into him. They tumbled to the grass and rolled into each other's arms. "Oh David…I'm so happy…I'm—" She stopped speaking suddenly.
"Suzanne? Are you alright?" David sat up and looked at her face.
"I'm fine. I'm fine. You don't have to fuss over me. I just got a little light-headed. I shouldn't have been spinning so much." She smiled bashfully.
"Sometimes I forget how delicate you are," David whispered, caressing her cheek.
"I'm not delicate," she swatted his hand away playfully and leaned back against his chest. "Just hold me for a while."
"This moment. Right now. Is my perfect moment." David said into her blonde wisps. Suzanne lifted her head, tears in her violet-blue eyes, and she leaned down and kissed his lips.
They kissed each other leisurely, hidden in the grass, until passion took its place, and would not wait any longer. As he slid his hands up her bodice, as her hands went down his thighs, as their tongues danced and swirled, as the sunset, as her hands slid down his back, as he tangled his hands in her hair, as he entered her, she whispered, "This is mine."
Michaela ran through the house but couldn't find anyone when she returned. "Harrison? Where is everyone?"
"Outside, Miss. Miss Abagail and Mr. Sully were building a snowman earlier." Michaela turned and ran to the back doors where she saw Sully, Abagail, Robert E, Josef, and even Elizabeth outside in the snow.
"What are you all doing?" She asked as went through the glass doors onto the terrace.
"Me and Papa buildin' a snowman, Mama. Ain't he handsome?" Abagail stood proudly by her creation.
Michaela nodded and tried to look as normal as possible after what she just learned. "He looks wonderful, sweetheart. Sully, can I speak to you for a moment?"
Sully quickly ran up the steps beside her. Josef and Elizabeth watched as Michaela talked to Sully in hushed, rapid tones.
Josef eyed Elizabeth. "Something's happened."
"And it's not good, you can bet," she answered, putting her arm around him.
Abagail skipped further into large backyard, singing to herself as she went along. "A pwincess at a ball! A pwincess at ball! I'm gonna be a pwincess at a ball!"
As she got to the bottom of the garden, she twirled around, dancing with herself. She ran into the maze of bushes, and stopped abruptly when she saw the frozen bird bath. She walked over to it and immediately looked away when she saw the iced baby bird inside. Panicked, she turned around, but didn't know which way she came from in the tall maze of trees. She began to run as fast as she could but all she kept seeing were more and more and more trees.
But then she heard a voice and everything stopped. "Hello Caroline."
Chapter 23
"Slow down, Michaela," Sully put his arms on her shoulders, "Ya aren't makin' any sense."
"Rose and David…They knew each other in the war…They…" Michaela closed her eyes, leaning into Sully as the only stable thing in her world. "He deserted. She didn't know where he went, but Sully… on the train… on the train… I heard him… I heard him!"
"Why didn't ya say somethin' before?" Sully asked, tightening his arms around her protectively.
"Because I thought I was imagining it all. Sully, he could be in Boston for all we know. He could know about us and what's worse—" She gripped his hand in hers.
"What?" He looked in her eyes, seeing fear and something else he had never seen before. It frightened him.
"He's sick, Sully."
"How do you know?"
"I don't know for sure, but Rose said…Rose said he has it too." Michaela said quietly, pain and disgust etched in her brow.
"What does that mean for us, Michaela?"
"I don't know. I don't know how long he's had it or if he's even been treated… It could be years. Syphilis can show early symptoms and then disappear for a while. I just don't know. But if it's affected his mind… No one can predict what he will do or say or believe. He's extremely dangerous to himself and all those around him."
"Then I ain't leavin' ya side till we know where he is." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, reassuring her.
"Stop staring at them, Lizzie," Josef admonished his wife, turning her chin away from Sully and Michaela.
"He just kissed her hand, Josef!" Elizabeth whispered loudly as she fumed uncomfortably in the patio rocker.
"Of course he did. He's in love with her, Lizzie." Josef slyly reached over and took his wife's hand, turning her hand over, and gently placed a soft kiss on her wrist.
"Josef!" Elizabeth took her hand back immediately, crimson rushing to her cheeks.
"Lizzie," Joseph smiled amusedly at his wife's sensibilities. He loved the notion that he could still make her blush after 40 years of marriage and four grown daughters.
Suddenly the moment was broken as Michaela and Sully stood before them, concern and fear on both of their faces. "Where is Abagail?"
Abagail stepped back as she looked into the eyes of the strange man. "What are ya doin' heh?"
"I didn't know you'd be here," David stepped closer, an eerie smile lighting his face. "Does Michaela know?"
Abagail frowned at him and stopped, confused. "She's my mama."
"She's…?" David closed his eyes, running his hands through his hair. "She knew you were alive…"
Like lead, David's body sunk to the ground, and he landed hard on the snow. Abagail quickly ran to him, lifting his head onto her lap. She took off her mitten and began to dab his bleeding lip. "It's k, it's k," Abagail soothed as David began to sob. Her little hand covered his.
"I'm so sorry, Caroline. I should have protected you. But we're ok now. We're ok. It's all forgotten."
Abagail could only nod as she sat with him in the snow. She didn't understand why he was saying these things, but she innately knew that he wouldn't hurt her.
David quieted and smiled softly, as he reached up and touched her face. "Such a good girl. Your angel mother would be so proud."
Abagail's eyes widened. "How do ya know bout my angwel mama?"
"She and I loved each other very much. We made you, Caroline. We were supposed to be a family…My better angel."
"Mama said she went to heaven to be with de angwels," Abagail whispered, immobile and puzzled by his words.
David shook his head, his eyes bright like broken glass. "Michaela's wrong, Caroline. She's alive."
"She…she is?"
David nodded, moving a fallen curl out of her face. "She is. She misses you so much."
Her mother had been like a fairy tale to her all her life, but now this man was saying that she was real and alive? She swallowed and said confidently, "I want to see her."
"Abagail!" Sully called from the front of the yard. "Abagail Sully! Answer me!"
Abagail quickly jumped up, pushing David up to a sitting position.
"I gotta go," she began to walk away but he grabbed her hand.
"You'll come back, won't you?" Abagail pulled her hand away and ran to the opening of bushes.
Before she entered, she hesitated and turned around. "We havin' a pawty tonight. Wear a mask!"
A woeful smile cracked the edges of David's face as she disappeared into the green. "Tonight, sweetheart. Tonight."
"Abagail!" Michaela cried, running down the lawn towards the garden, "Where are you, Miss Sully?"
"Abagail!" Sully bellowed again, running up beside her, out of breath.
Suddenly, Abagail emerged from the large bushes. Sully and Michaela sighed in relief and ran to her. "Oh Abby, I've told you a hundred times, you can't run off by yourself like that. You scared us to death."
Michaela put her arms around the little girl, but Abagail did not hug her back. Her generally bubbly presence was distant and pensive. When Michaela did not feel her arms around her, she pulled back and looked in her eyes. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
"Can angwels be on earf?" She asked quietly.
Michaela frowned, wondering where such an odd and sensitive question came from. "Well, yes. I suppose they can. You're our little angel."
"Oh," Abagail nodded, her face falling. "I go to my room now." She stepped away from Michaela and Sully and walked ahead of them, past Elizabeth and Josef, and into the house alone.
Sully slid his hand into Michaela's. "What was that about?"
"I don't know. Maybe she just needs to be alone."
"At three and half?"
"You're right. Let's check on her before tea."
"Tea?" Sully curled his lips in utter distaste as Michaela held in her laughter and pulled him along behind her.
"How is the little one?" Josef asked as Michaela and Sully entered the parlor.
"I think she's better. Robert E's taking her to the candy store. That put a smile on her face." Michaela and Sully sat down beside each other at the tea table, across from Elizabeth and Josef.
"And how are you, my dear? You two were awfully serious this morning." Michaela looked between her father and mother. She didn't know how to tell them about David, or if she even should. She knew, without a doubt, that her mother wouldn't believe it. As for her father, she was sure he would be horrified and berate himself for not seeing it, just as she was doing now.
As Fiona came out with the tea service, Sully reached for Michaela's hand underneath the table. She met his eyes as he ran his thumb across her knuckles soothingly.
"Michaela!" Elizabeth jerked her out of her daze with her brassy voice. "Your father asked you a question."
Josef chucked and patted Elizabeth's hand. "It's alright, Lizzie. I just got my answer."
Michaela blushed and tightened her grip on Sully's hand when she realized that her father must believe that the commotion earlier had all been some kind of lovers' quarrel between them. As embarrassing as it was, it was probably better that way.
"So Mr. Sully," Elizabeth suddenly turned to him, her eyes sharp as a hawk's, "It's just the four of us now. You should know I'm not one to dance around the matter, especially when the subject is my children. Exactly what are your intentions towards Michaela?"
"Mother!" Michaela's face deepened in color, and she quickly let go of Sully's hand.
Sully's cup of tea was still at his lips at the beginning of her interrogation, and he had yet to remove it. He slowly brought the cup down and swallowed. Slowly.
Joseph's first impulse was to stop his wife's little game, but when he saw Sully's deliberate, thoughtful motions begin, he thought it best to wait, and let both his stubborn wife and mortified daughter hear what this young man had to say.
"Mrs. Quinn," Sully began, "Intentions mean I'm tryin' to get somewhere or get somethin'… And if I had to go anywhere with Michaela, it would be right here."
Elizabeth frowned. "I don't understand you, Mr. Sully."
"If Michaela loves me half as much as Dr. Quinn loves you in forty years, I can't imagine a better life than that," Sully said quietly, his warm blue eyes breaking down Elizabeth's. She stared at him a moment, unflinching. She had known they were in love from the moment she saw them together, but she just never expected either one of them to say it out loud. For once in her life, Elizabeth Quinn was finally at a loss for words.
She looked to Joseph, tears threatening as she thought of all their years together, when they were young, when illness didn't threaten every moment of their lives. She stood up and looked back to Sully, her emotion controlled once more. "True love doesn't have a happy ending, Mr. Sully."
She turned and walked slowly out if the room, leaving Josef, Michaela, and Sully staring at her empty seat. "Is she alright?" Sully asked after a few moments.
Josef turned to him and smiled sadly, "She'll be alright, son."
"Maybe I shouldn't have said that." Sully looked down, feeling guilty, but Michaela quickly put her hand back in his.
"No. It was perfect. I want that too," Sully smiled relieved and pulled her hand against his heart. Josef lifted his eyebrows, amused how quickly the two of them forgot that a third person was there.
"Well, I think I will go see about Elizabeth," Josef said after he guzzled his last bit of tea. "Mr. Sully, please come by my study before the party tonight. I would like to speak with you alone."
"Yes, sir," Sully said quickly, breaking out of his lock with Michaela for a split second. As he heard Josef leave the room, he turned towards her, letting his legs rest against hers. "Ya gonna storm out on me too?"
"Sometimes. If you don't let me have my way." She laced her fingers with his. "But it'll be alright."
He cocked his head. "How do ya know?"
She tilted hers, eyes sparkling. "Because you'll come after me."
He leaned closer and whispered, "I'll always come after ya." Their lips grazed in a sweet kiss that only seemed to demand that they go further, to keep pushing the boundaries of their restricted situation. Her breathing was heavy and slow, modified, even though they were alone. They were tied together and tied down by society's rules, but he couldn't stop himself, and he slowly slid his tongue out and torturously traced her bottom lip. Taken back by his audacity, but even more so by the shear pleasure of his kiss, Michaela pressed their joined hands down into his lap to relieve the inner pressure building within her.
Suddenly, footsteps from the servants' door broke them from their seduction, and Michaela quickly stood up and walked towards the window so Fiona wouldn't see the any evidence of what they had been doing on her face.
"Would you like more tea, miss?" Fiona asked shyly. Michaela, completely lost in her own thoughts, didn't answer.
Sully looked at Michaela from his side, and saw her downcast eyes and how she was attempting not to grin. He turned to Fiona, a satisfied smile on his face, and said, "We're done, thank you very much."
Fiona quickly left them. Sully stood from his seat and sauntered over to Michaela. "Penny for ya thoughts."
She had a thousand thoughts running through her mind at that moment. His touch. His kiss. Having his children. Having a life.
"You really do want all of that?" She whispered, mystified that it could really be theirs.
Sully nodded and moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "Yep. You and my girls."
"Girls?" She giggled. She hadn't even thought that far ahead!
Sully nodded, his eyes almost boyish with hope. "Abby and her sisters."
Michaela grinned, taking in the beautiful image through his eyes. "What makes you so sure we won't have any boys?"
Sully shrugged, beginning to sway a little bit as he looked out to the snow. "We might. But a girl… she would be a heartbreaker if she looked anythin' like you."
"But she'd have to have your spirit. A beautiful one…just like her papa's."
"And her mama's—emo'onahe." Michaela turned in Sully's arms.
"Is that what it means?"
Sully nodded, lowering his eyes. "That first night… when I didn't know who ya where… I could still feel ya… It scared me."
"I was scared too, but in a different way. I didn't know how to feel before you came into my life. After Caroline died, I shut myself off to the world and told myself that getting by was living. I was frozen inside but you saw past that… you saw me. And that was the most terrifying thing in the world to me. But now for the first time in my life, I feel like a woman." Sully brought her hands to his lips, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Ya are." Michaela pressed her hands on his shoulders and leaned forward. Just as their lips were about to meld again, Abagail's voice came from the Entrance Hall. They smiled and reluctantly pulled away from each other as her pitter pattering became louder and louder until she and Robert E were standing in the doorway with a bag full of candy in each of their hands.
Abagail had a ring of chocolate smeared around her lips as she continued to chomp down on her sweets, her earlier troubles seemingly forgotten.
"My goodness!" Michaela and Sully walked over to the little pig. "You won't be eating your dinner for a week at this rate!"
Robert E laughed, "She might be a little thing, but she sure can eat her candy."
Michaela and Sully kept talking to Robert E, asking him about his excursion into town. Abagail moved further in the room, looking out the window into the backyard. She placed another chocolate in her mouth and scanned the snowy whiteness. In the distance, she saw his figure. He waved at her and pulled out a mask that looked like the face of a raven. He slipped it over his face and smiled at her.
Abagail waved back. "Angel mama," she whispered hopefully.
"Abby?" Sully asked, making her jump away from the window. "Who are you waving to?"
"The Raven man," Abagail answered honestly. Sully and Michaela quickly came to the window and looked out into the whiteness.
No one was there.
Chapter 24
Abagail sat at the top of the stairs as the guest streamed in through the doorway. "Ohhh…" She sighed as a woman dressed in ruby red with a sparkling flamingo mask to match entered. Elizabeth was greeting everyone, dressed in a deep forest green, with a pelican mask in her hands. "They so purty."
Michaela watched Abagail from a distance as she exited her room. She seemed ok now. Sully had checked the grounds of the house after Abagail had claimed to have seen the Raven man, but he didn't find anyone but the house and yard staff. Children often had imaginary friends, Michaela had reasoned, but she still didn't have a good feeling about it. Abagail had been distant to her all day.
Michaela made her way down the hallway and lifted her train so she could sit next to Abagail on the top stairs.
Abagail gasped, as she looked at Michaela. She had never seen her dressed up before. "Mama! You so beautiful!"
"You are too, Miss Sully," Michaela leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. Abagail looked down at her blue chiffon dress and began twisting the fabric. Michaela watched her nervously when she didn't respond.
"Can I have a kiss too?" Abagail looked at Michaela timidly and quickly kissed her. Michaela's throat tightened. She never had to ask Abagail to kiss her before.
"Do you wuv me?" Abagail asked suddenly, her eyes wide and pleading.
"More than my life, sweetheart." Michaela moved closer to Abagail and put her arms around her. "I love you so much."
"K." Abagail smiled, and leaned into Michaela's arms. "I wuv you too."
"Now I'm going to go help your grandmother receive guests. Fiona is in charge of you tonight, but if you need your father or me, we'll be in the ballroom."
"Can I stay heh for while? I like to watch the pwetty dresses." Michaela smiled and kissed her forehead.
"Of course. Be a good girl for Fiona." Michaela stood up and smoothed her satin white dress.
As Michaela walked down the stairs, Abagail called out, "Mama!"
"Yes, Miss Sully!" Michaela turned around, her spirits high again.
"I wuv you foevah and evah!" Abagail blew one of her ringlets of her face and smiled.
"Forever," Michaela blew her a kiss and waved goodbye.
Michaela joined her mother, who had her best party face on. "Where is your father?" she asked through gritted teeth as she greeted another guest without batting an eyelash.
"He needed to talk to Sully, mother." Michaela smiled and shook hands with colleagues of her father as she spoke to her mother like a ventriloquist.
"Oh for heaven's sakes," Elizabeth moaned before raising her voice to a melodious, "So glad you could join us…"
"Mr. Sully, I've been watching you with my daughter these last couple of days. I was against her move to Colorado at first, but I see that it has brought her nothing but joy, especially with you and your daughter," Joseph said as he slowly walked around to the back of his desk.
Sully shook his head. "It's really your daughter, Dr. Quinn. I don't know if I would even be able to be a father to Abagail if it wasn't for her."
"That's what a marriage should be. Helping each other. You two have a great sense of that, and that's why I want to give you this." Josef reached into his desk and pulled out a small black box.
"What's this?" Sully asked as he picked up the tiny box and opened it.
Inside laid a solitaire diamond ring. Sully looked up, completely shocked. Josef was smiling, a sparkle in his eye. "Consider it my blessing. It was my mother's ring. I know she'd be honored for you and Michaela to have it."
"I don't know what to say, sir." Sully stared at the ring, hardly believing this was even possible for him and Michaela. But it was. Everyday their future seemed more certain.
"Well, you can stop calling me sir, to start. It's Josef. And you shouldn't be saying anything. You should be running to put that ring on Michaela's finger!" Josef laughed heartily, the color in his cheeks rosy and bright.
"Yes sir… I mean, thank you, Josef!" Sully smiled and ran out of the room.
Josef smiled as he watched the young man leave. All was right with the world. Michaela was finally happy and in love. He had a beautiful wife, family, and home. He could hear the waltz playing in the distance, calling to him, waiting for him to dance again, and break free of his feeble body. He leaned back against his desk and exhaled as he let the music carry him away.
Sully ran through the ballroom, looking for Michaela. When he finally saw her at the door with her mother, he stopped in the middle of the doorway and simply watched her. She was going to be his wife. This vision.
They had made so many mistakes, but now they had their chance to make everything right. They were going to have a life together.
When she finally saw him, she stopped greeting people, and froze. She had never seen him in a tux before. He looked positively sinful. Her knees felt wobbly, and she could hardly concentrate on the continuous stream of hands that kept filling hers. Like a predator, he slowly began to walk towards her, and she shuttered as he gently put his hand on her lower back. "I need to talk to ya."
"Alright, I'll get Rebecca to fill in for me," Michaela signaled for Rebecca across the room, and she and Sully quickly went to the opposite side of the house from the party.
As soon as they left, Reverend and Mrs. Holland Lewis were announced. Elizabeth and Rebecca looked at each other, both surprised and shocked they had come.
"Did you invite them, mother?" Rebecca asked accusingly.
"When your sister brought another man home? Of course not!" Elizabeth whispered harshly behind her mask. "One of the servants must have done it by accident."
"If they see Michaela with Sully…"
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but hopefully they'll stay gone a very long time!" Elizabeth brought down her mask just in time to shake Mrs. Lewis' hand.
Abagail giggled behind the railing as she watched her mama and papa sneak away from the party. Papa had promised her a dance, but he was too busy making funny faces at Mama. Not that she blamed him. She had never seen her mama look so beautiful and fancy. The diamond and pearl earbobs and the lovely choker than fell from her neck… Abagail looked towards Michaela's room. Then she looked down below where Fiona was running to and fro with coats and handbags. She wouldn't be missed for long.
Sully led Michaela into the Garden Room. Moonlight trickled in through the glass windows, making Michaela's satin dress shine and her face glow.
She turned around, and he took her hands in his. "You look…"
He didn't get to finish his thought before she leaned forward and kissed him. He immediately wrapped his arms around her waist as she knotted her hands in his hair. She pulled away after a moment, joy taking all hesitation and sadness out of her façade. "Unbelievably handsome," she finished, as she gently caressed his clean-shaven cheek.
"I was goin' to say beautiful, but alright." They laughed, and as if they could hear the music playing across the house, Sully took her hand in his and began leading her around in the room, in a slow, steady waltz.
"Do you remember?" Sully nodded and pulled her hand over his chest.
"I had blisters on my feet the next mornin'." Sully chuckled, embarrassed.
Michaela's eyes widened, surprised and shocked. "Sully! For heaven's sakes, we could have stopped much sooner!"
"Yeah, but we were havin' fun. You were smilin' and laughin'…kinda like you are now."
She nodded looking down, the memory of the firelight clashing with the moonlight now. "That was a good night."
Sully bent his knees in the next turn, searching for her fallen eyes. "Things are different now, aren't they?"
"Yes. I was escaping with you that night. Now… now I just want to be with you with no escapes." The music kept playing, the world kept spinning, but Sully and Michaela stopped in it. Sully took her hand in his and reached into his pocket.
"This should have come before the promises I made to ya, but hopefully you'll forgive me and make an exception." He opened the ring box, revealing her grandmother's diamond ring.
"Sully!" Michaela put her free hand over her mouth, as she recognized the beautiful ring, knowing how much it meant to her father and how significant it was that he had given it to Sully.
"I know ya still worried, so ya don't have to wear it yet if ya uncomfortable." Sully said quietly, falling a little from his high.
Michaela shook her head, tears in her eyes. "No…no… I want to wear it tonight. I'm so tired of being tied down. I can't do it another day, Sully."
Sully nodded, understanding. After they had returned from Martha's a few days ago, it had been impossible for them to hide their feelings from each other, and once more, Josef and Elizabeth were aware of what was going on, so their battle to remain inconspicuous had completely fallen by the wayside.
Sully took the ring out of the box and slowly slid it onto her finger. "With this ring," he whispered, "I thee wed."
Michaela, with tears in her eyes, laughed at his faux ceremony and cupped his face in her hands. "I love you. I—"
The boisterous voices of party guests began filling the rooms of the house. Sully and Michaela looked towards the commotion. Michaela, not ready for their time to be over yet, took Sully's hand in hers, and led him towards the back door, picking up two capes along the way. "Come with me."
"Where are we goin'?" Sully asked as they stepped out into the winter night.
She laced her arm through his. "Somewhere that no one will find us."
Through bird eyes, he watched Michaela and Sully climb into the carriage and leave Beacon Hill. He turned back towards the grand entrance way and ascended the front steps.
Abagail sat in front of Michaela's dressing table, with a large powder puff in her hand. She patted all over her face and began coughing uncontrollably when the dust flew up in the air around her. "Uh oh!"
She quickly put it back in its container and closed the lid and sat quietly until the dust cleared. She then got up on her knees and lifted the lid to the mahogany jewelry box. Inside, she found a cascade of jewels, necklaces, bracelets and rings. She reached forward and took a handful of necklaces out, and began to put them on her neck one by one by one.
After she had on about ten, she stood up in front of the mirror and posed. "Why Miss Ab'gail! You so beautiful! May I take ya fuh?"
She fell down on the table in giggles, reaching back over to the jewelry box for more goodies. She stuck her hand in the bracelets but felt a piece of paper. She quickly pulled it out and turned it over.
It was a faded picture. It was the Raven man. He was younger and didn't look so sad, but it was definitely him. Why did mama have his picture? Mama had said she loved her, so why would she lie about her angel mama?
Abagail quickly threw off the jewelry and jumped down from the stool. She didn't understand any of this. She had to find Mama and Papa now.
Chapter 25
Sully could hear the ocean in the distance as Michaela stopped the carriage. "Where are we?" He asked, feeling the chill of the harbor wind as he helped her out of the carriage.
"Follow me, Sully." She took his hand in hers as he looked at her warily. "Just trust me."
They walked down a narrow path, carved in between two small walls of snow. Ice cycles hung above them in the trees, creating a castle of crystal. Eventually the woods faded, and they emerged onto a white beach, where the rushing tide crashed in full force.
"Michaela," Sully breathed in the cold winter air, taking in the sights and sounds before him. "It's amazing."
"I thought you'd like it," she said, leaning back into his arms.
"I was born somewhere out there," he whispered into her shoulder.
"You were?" She put her hands over his, blocking the chill.
"I always felt restless by the ocean…like it was pushin' or tellin' me to go somewhere. This is the first time I've felt at home here." Michaela tightened her arms around Sully.
"Maybe you just needed time away," she whispered.
"Nah, it's not the ocean or the mountains or the plains… it's just bein' here with you that makes the difference." She turned her head and found his lips, kissing the cold away in an instant.
A zephyr rolled up off the tide, and they clung to each other, trying to keep their warmth inside. Michaela began to pull away, but Sully's lips followed hers, not wanting to separate now that they were so thoroughly isolated.
"Not yet," he nearly growled in frustration, as the air blew between their lips. "Just a little longer…"
But Michaela turned away from him, leaving him shaken and bothered. He watched her walk down the beach before she turned around, smiling coquettishly. "Well are you coming or not?"
Sully shook his head and grinned roguishly at her before he reluctant followed. What was she up to?
After they walked a ways down the beach, Michaela turned back into the trees. "Oh dear… The pathway's snowed over…"
Michaela looked down at her shoes, which were now soaking wet and cold. The weather and boots had been the last things on her mind. All of a sudden, Sully's arms were around her waist, and he was lifting her in his arms. "Now ya just tell me where to go."
She circled her arms around his neck and pointed. "Straight, sir."
"Yes, m'am." His feet sunk into the snow, completely ruining his new dress shoes, but he didn't care. Michaela was in his arms, and he had never been so happy.
Suddenly they passed into a clearly, where a small house stood, completely covered in snow. "What is this place?"
"It was my grandparents first home. We use it as our beach house now." Michaela smiled at Sully and pushed open the icy door.
Irish relics and family portraits adorned every space on the wall. Logs sat in front of the dark fireplace, and a sofa sat in the middle of the room, with several colorful quilts on top of it.
Sully slowly walked in and began to look at every face on the wall, soaking in all of Michaela's history and family. Michaela shut the door behind them, and watched him nervously as he traveled into her world.
Sully picked up a picture sitting in a bookcase and turned to look at her, surprise and wonderment in his eyes. "This… this was you?"
He turned the picture over, and Michaela saw the little girl with long coppery hair dancing in the tides. Her face was so carefree and light. She had been so happy that day. Michaela nodded shyly, biting her lip.
Sully looked at the picture again. "I wish…"
"What?" Michaela asked as he stopped short.
"I wish we had met that day." Michaela stepped up beside him.
"Would we have known?" Michaela and Sully's eyes met and locked. There was no way to know. Michaela began to shiver at the thought.
"Hey, why don't I start a fire. Warm us up?" Sully smiled hesitantly, breaking the tension, and gently put the picture back in its place.
Michaela stayed back a little, watching Sully as he moved easily around the cozy room. He seemed at home here—much more so than in the house on Beacon Hill.
"Floor or Sofa?" He asked, interrupting her thoughts.
"Hmm?" She stepped forward, seeing he was holding two of the thick quilts in his hands.
"Do ya want to want to sit on the floor or the sofa?" He laughed softly at her obvious distraction.
"Floor. It's closer to the fire." Michaela inhaled as she watched him spread the blanket across floor, making a palette for them to sit on. He turned back to the fire, adding more kindling, and she slowly moved to sit on the couch as he conjured the flames.
He turned around once it was roaring and observed her impish position. "I thought ya wanted to be on the floor?"
She shrugged her shoulders and smiled slowly at him from the corner of her mouth. He took off his dress jacket and laid it neatly on the side of the blanket. He slowly slid in front of her on his knees. "Ya gonna tell me?"
"Tell what?" Michaela leaned back, as though she had been caught.
"What's got ya so jumpy all of a sudden?" Michaela looked down, and Sully placed his arms on either side of her legs, locking her in. "Hey, ya can tell me anythin', ya know that, right?"
"Sully… What you must think… I didn't realize when I brought you here, I… It must seem so… It must seem awfully forward, and I…" Michaela looked down, her face blushing with embarrassment and emotion.
"Hey, I'm happy just being here with ya. I don't need anything more than that." Michaela nodded, relief washing over her. "I just want ya to relax, ok?"
Sully gathered her knotted hands in her lap and kissed them, reassuring her. "Ok."
"Now tell me what's cold," he asked, running his thumbs over her knuckles.
Michaela exhaled, contemplating whether she should tell him or not. But the chill won out over common sense. "My feet," she said softly.
Sully pushed back on one knee and cradled his hands. "Allow me?"
Michaela swallowed and lifted her stocking clad foot to his hands. Sully's hands surrounded her foot and he looked at her uneasily. Michaela, it's soaked through…"
"Maybe… maybe you should take them off," Michaela closed her eyes at her boldness. She couldn't look Sully in the eye. What must he think of her? One minute she was too shy to even think straight, and the next, she was asking him to take her stockings off.
"Ya sure?" Sully asked, his steady confidence waning as he thought of touching her so intimately.
Michaela nodded three times. Neither one of them spoke as the fire crackled behind them, and Sully began to move his hand up her calf under the hemline of her dress. Their breathing soon quickened and became in sync once he found the soft skin below her knee. As his hand lingered, applying a gentle pressure, she lifted her eyes and watched him. His jaw was tense and his eyes were extremely focused. As his hand finally reached her upper thigh, the hook wouldn't budge. Frustration and nerves took over Sully as he fumbled with the clasp.
But his anxiety suddenly gave Michaela a new confidence. Somehow knowing that he was just as nervous to be alone with her as she was with him, made her feel as though they had nothing to be afraid of. She reached down, covering his hand with hers through the satin dress. He stopped moving and met her eyes. "Just relax, Sully."
With his eyes on hers, he slowly moved back to the clasp and unhooked it. And again. And again. And again. The silk fabric was free, and he rolled it down her leg, until he had nothing but her bare foot in his possession. He massaged it gently, bringing it to his lips several times.
Michaela sighed and closed her eyes. "Don't forget the other one."
Sully chuckled. "I wouldn't dream of it."
Sully moved faster this time, the area not as foreign, and found the hooks around her upper thigh. Before unclasping the last one, he let his fingers caress the soft skin exposed between her stockings and her garter belt.
Michaela's breath was shaky as he touched her, and she couldn't help but wonder what his whole hand would feel like pressed against her skin. But he stopped and grabbed the silk, running it down the length of her leg. He took her chill foot in his hand, warming it slowly, but this time, he let his thumb run along the base of her foot. She held her breath as the sensations traveled through every nerve in her body, running far up in the length of her leg to the center of her being.
"Sully…" Michaela barely whispered his name as her head fell against the back of the couch. Sully's eyes clouded as he watched her react to his touch, so with deliberate care, he ran his thumb back up the base of her foot. She couldn't speak this time.
Instead, she pushed herself up on the edge of the soft, her bare feet moving to either side of his legs. She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly, letting her lips hover over his as she pulled away. "Thank you."
"Anytime." Sully's hands ran up the satin fabric of her dress as he leaned closer to her. "When I first saw ya tonight in this dress… I couldn't help but wish it was our weddin' night," Sully admitted.
Michaela blushed and laughed self-consciously. She rested her forehead against his. "I thought the same thing when I saw you in this tux. Although I wouldn't care if you had on your buckskins, as long as you were there with me. Whenever that will be."
Sully smiled and looked at her, seeing the impatience and frustration in her face. "You know I'll wait."
Michaela nodded shakily, her emotions and anger getting the better of her. "How long though? How long are we supposed to wait? What if David had never gone off to war? What if I never came to Colorado Springs? What if I hadn't had been so stupid as to have fallen into David's trap, whatever that is?"
"Those are 'what if's' Michaela! We can't do anything about them now!" Sully ran his fingers through his hair.
"I have been waiting for you my entire life! Living in shame and fear is not living. I can't do it. I can't do it anymore!"
Like a force of nature, Michaela pushed off the sofa and straddled Sully's lap, the delicate seaming of her dress tearing on the sides. Even if he had wanted to stop her, he couldn't have. His need for her matched hers, and when their mouths met, it was as if they were ripping away the chains and burdens of their olds lives, and creating a new one together.
They fell back on the palette, kissing.
Kissing—she mimicked his gesture from tea, tracing his lips with her tongue, and in turn, he repeated it. She opened her mouth to him, letting him deep inside, letting him feel her, taste her, rip all the past away. She brought her hand up to his mouth and he took it inside, sucking the tender skin until her lips required attention again. And their hands melded and wandered, breaking boundaries…
Hands—down the length of her body, crushing the burnished material against her skin, until his hands carved around her curves. Her hands stretched above his head, supporting her weight on him, but as soon as she felt his touch on her body, her arms began to shake violently, the new sensations breaking down her sense of control, releasing her passion and need…
As he felt her slipping, cracking, aching, he gently ran his hands back up her spine and cradled her, before spinning them and letting her rest beneath his weight. He held one hand over her head and caressed her face with the other.
"I would have known ya," he whispered.
Michaela nodded, tears in her eyes, etching his face with her fingers. She memorized every bone, every line of his face, every perfection and imperfection on his face, and slowly traced his lips with the tips of her fingers. He placed a soft kiss on them, as she kept traveling, learning everything as she went along. She explored his neck, the rough, tan skin, and the surprising softer flesh near his collarbone until she met material again. She released his hand and began working on his bowtie, freeing it from its tight constraint. She paused for a split second, as she glanced in Sully's heated blue eyes and then saw the row of the buttons ahead of her. Her patience was gone. She tore down the center of his shirt, sending buttons flying into the fire, and spurring Sully to take action.
As Michaela pushed the shirt off his arms, he found her lips again, and brought her up in his lap. His lips began traveling around her neck, and she echoed his kisses, running her mouth along the edge of his shoulder. As she splayed her hands down his toned back, he wrapped his arms around her waist and began to unfasten her dress and stays. He pulled at the hard binding once he felt her restricted skin. Her breathing suddenly quickened and she dug her nails into his back as she cried pleadingly, "Break it, please…break it!"
Sully placed a small kiss on the side of her neck, and with one deep groan, he ripped the corset from her body, completely ruining the beautiful dress. The tattered, shimmering dress hung off her shoulders now, exposing the tops of her breasts to him. They sat in each other's arms, her nails still carved in his back, and his hands gripping the broken cage. They were almost free.
Slowly, he began to pull the dress down. Michaela lifted her shoulders, taking her arms out of the dress. Without the support of her shoulders, the rest of the dress dropped in a heap around her waist, and she was bare to him.
The bones of the corset had left harsh red marks across the center of her abdomen and sides, and Sully's eyes immediately flashed to hers. "Does it hurt?"
Michaela shook her head self-consciously. "Not anymore."
Tenderly, Sully pushed her back on the floor. He slowly kissed down her body, starting with her eyes, nose, lips, and neck. He traced her collar bone with his tongue, and Michaela arched her back, reaching for him even as he moved down her body. For the first time, he kissed her breast as he gently took the other in his hand. Her nipples grew hard under his loving ministrations, and she began to pant and rock in rhythm with his suckling. Just as the sensations were about to overpower her ability to move or think, Sully moved down even lower, tending to the marks left behind from the corset.
As Sully tried to kiss the scars away, he knew that he could never watch anyone trap or hurt her again. The marks left behind were so deep and visible that it would take more than just kisses to remove them. It would take years of love and time and patience. He knew she was crying when he felt her stomach tighten and release in small trembling waves. He looked up and reached for her hand. "Are ya alright?" he whispered.
She nodded, the tears falling freely now. "It's just that… I've never felt so alive and…free."
Sully kissed her hand and looked down to the rest of the clothing surrounding them. He held out his hand to her and lifted her to her feet. He walked about four feet away from her and turned around. Slowly, he took off his belt and dropped it on the floor. Michaela's eyes glowed in the firelight, and her mouth dropped ever so slightly. When he began to unbutton his trousers, Michaela backed up until she hit the side table. She gripped it. And when the black dress pants cascaded down to his ankles, she stopped breathing.
She knew what the male body looked like. After all, she was a doctor, but they certainly all didn't look like Sully. He was completely masculine. And toned. And dark. And muscular. And handsome. She didn't know if she could move. At that moment, she had no idea what to do.
Sully, sensing her apprehension, slowly walked to her. He took her hands in his, and smiled, reassuringly. "Ya can trust me."
Michaela met his eyes. She knew what he was saying. David had stolen her innate ability to trust. And now here stood this wonderful man asking her to be completely vulnerable to him. "It wasn't your fault, Michaela."
"Sully…" Michaela's hands shook in his, and she looked down, refusing to meet his eyes.
"It wasn't your fault," he said again.
"Stop it, Sully," she whispered harshly, her eyes spilling uncontrollably.
"It wasn't your fault…" She bit her lips, trying to control the tears. "It wasn't your fault…"
Finally her head dropped and she broke down in a long, painful sob. She fell against his chest, and he held her to him, skin on skin, vulnerable, her soul open to him. He held her until her tears subsided and the fire began to die. She pushed back from him and searched his eyes in the darkness.
"Help me take it off," she whispered. She turned around and Sully carefully unhooked the remaining buttons on her dress, despite the fact that it was ruined. He untied her bustle and threw it on the floor. The hoop crashed in an unceremonious heap around them. They sighed simultaneously when the only clothing left was her pantaloons. He wrapped his arms around her from behind.
"Ya ready?" She nodded into his shoulder. He held the waist of the underwear with her, and together, they pulled it down to her ankles.
She was free. She stepped out of the clothes and stood up slowly, her back to him. She turned around to face him.
Her face was light. The weight was gone, and a smile stretched the corners of her mouth. He smiled in return, knowing everything was right now, knowing they could be together. He held his hand out for her, and she took it.
Down they went on the floor, hands and arms and mouths linked. Their legs tangled, and there was no more hesitation. As their kisses became more demanding, Sully slid to the side of her. He caressed her stomach lightly, sending chills down her legs. She moaned into his mouth as the light hairs on her body stood up, and he pulled up, watching her eyes as he began to lower his hand down, down, down her body, past her womb. Her knees instinctively rose, as his fingers moved into her hairs, and she gasped when she felt him touch her.
Like drowning and reviving all in one breath, Michaela inhaled and exhaled a deep, guttural moan as he moved within her, massaging her, exciting her flesh of unused nerves. Her core awoke from its long sleep, and it cried out, yes, yes, God, yes…
His mouth covered hers when she cried out, and she repaid him with the longest, most sensual kiss he had ever had in his life. As they cradled each other, enjoying their slow seduction, Michaela suddenly felt the evidence of his arousal on her leg. She pulled out of the kiss, looking into his eyes for direction. His eyes were glazed over with passion, and he pulled her more securely to him.
"I love you, Michaela," he said hoarsely, his voice breaking with emotion.
"I love you too, Sully," she answered back, touching the side of his face. He lifted himself off of her, and slowly began to enter her, breaking through flesh, breaking through walls, breaking through time, breaking through society, breaking through the past, breaking through the future, breaking through the present, breaking through her pain, breaking through their guilt, breaking through sin, breaking through death, breaking through life, breaking through hate, breaking through love.
And they made love.
As the pain subsided and pleasure and love cascaded through her body, she whispered to Sully, "I would have known you… I would have known you…."