Peyton looked nervously into the room where Lucas was laying calmly in the center of the room. She flinched when Brooke rested a hand on her shoulder and looked at her. "Peyton...just go in" Brooke gave a small smile towards the blonde and she did her best to return the smile. She closed her eyes as she pushed the door open causing Karen to turn around.

"Peyton..."the older women stood form her chair after letting go of Lucas's hand. She walked over to Peyton wearing a warm smile. "I'm glad you came back" was all Karen could say because she knew that were no other words that were really acceptable at the moment. Peyton just nodded as Karen walked out of the room. Peyton wanted to tell her to stay but she knew that Karen would only leave anyway so she didn't bother trying. The blonde turned around when she heard the door close behind her. She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves, hoping that she could find the strength to turn around. She bit the edge of her bottom lip as she forced herself to finally really look at Lucas. With that one look Peyton had made up her mind, she knew what she had to do no matter how much she didn't want to.

"Hey you" she whispered as she sat in the chair that had been occupied by Karen just moments ago. She picked up his hand and squeezed it lightly, it was when he didn't squeeze back that the tears started to build behind her eyes. "Oh God...Luke I'm so sorry for this...for everything. This never should have happened. Lucas I'm sorry but I can't stay here...it....it just hurts too much. There are too many memories for me to handle right now. I thought I was okay and I thought I could handle this but I can't...being here...it's just..."

She didn't know what to say. She wanted to stay there with him, she wanted to crawl under the thin blanket and feels his arms wrapped around her. She wanted to feel safe again, just like she always did when he held her. But she wasn't the one that need to be comforted right now, Lucas need her and she couldn't help but feel selfish as she sat there longing for his touch. "Lucas I'm not ready for any of this. I thought I was and I thought I would be able to keep myself together but I can't anymore and I need to figure some things out. I don't think I've ever felt this torn about anything before, I've never been this lost and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I know that I need time to figure this out though and I really hope you can understand that. I know you want what's best for me and that you want to help me with everything you can...but I don't think you can really help me with this. That's another thing I'm not ready for yet...caring. I know you care about me and the more you show how much you care the more I get scared. I don't wanna be hurt anymore Lucas. I feel so damn vulnerable and there's nothing I can do about it. I just...I don't wanna set myself up to get hurt again...I don't think I can take anymore pain...I cant even handle the problems I have now. I know that this would hurt you and that's why I'm doing it now. I guess I'm being selfish again. I know you're gunna be hurt and its gunna hurt me to see you in pain so I'm just gunna avoid it. I don't know what I'm gunna do but I don't think I can stay in Tree Hill anymore, I just need to get away for a bit. I guess I need to find myself"

Peyton forced out a dry laugh as she lifted Lucas's hand to her lips, kissing his knuckles gently. She rested her head on their intertwined fingers as she held back tears. She what she was doing to him but she knew she wasn't ready to be in a relationship. She couldn't make a commitment to anything at the moment, she was too confused. She absentmindedly started humming as she held his hands tighter within her own. She couldn't help but smile as she remembered that day in her room.

He absentmindedly started humming to calm his nerves. "Sing to me" came a tranquil voice from beneath him.

"I thought you were sleeping" Lucas said looking down at the body onto of him.

"No, I started to but then you started humming" she moved slightly under the covers.

"I'm sorry" he kissed the top of her head.

"It's alright" her voice barley above a whisper "but I want you to sing to me, sing what you were humming"

"Alright, but I'm warning you, you might not like it"

She missed when things were that simple. Sure her life had been hell that day but for that one brief moment things felt okay. She smiled to herself as she started to hum again. It was a song that her mom used to sing all the time, she didn't understand it when she was younger but she would just hum along as her and Anna danced around the kitchen. Peyton forced herself to hold back more tears as she remembered being with her mom. Things were so much easier then ad she would give anything to have that life back. The blonde's humming gradually got quieter as she recalled the lyrics to the song, which only caused her to hold Luke's hand tighter.

"What ravages of sprit, conjured this temptuous rage" her voice was somber as she whispered the words into his fingers. "Created you a monster, broken by the rule of love. And fate has led you through it you do what you have to do. And I have the sense to recognize, that I don't know how to let you go." She spoke the lyrics as calmly as she could as a single tear slid down her cheek.

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul. I'm ever swiftly moving trying to escape this desire. The yearning to be near you, I do what I have to do. But I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go." The only thought that raced through her mind was the question of when her life had gotten so bad. She let the tears fall and her voice cracked as she struggled with her words.

"A glowing ember, burning hot, burning slow. Deep within I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you" She knew that she loved Lucas but that was the thing that scared her most. "I know I can't be with you, I do what I have to do. And I have sense to recognize but I don't know how to let you go..." Peyton let her words hang as the tears poured from her hazel eyes.

"So don't" Peyton lifted her head to see Lucas gazing down at her. He smiled at her and she it only made her cry harder.

"Lucas..."

"Why do you have to let me go? You can be with me, nothing is stopping you Peyton, nothing but you." Lucas didn't want her to run away again. She always ran away and all he could ever do was worry about her.

"Lucas..." Peyton slipped her hand from his and she stood up, tears staining her pale cheeks. "I'm so sorry...but I can't...I just can't." Peyton closed her eyes as she turned around but Lucas reached for her hand which was still within his grasp.

"Peyton...please don't do this again. Stop trying to do everything on your own...its okay to ask for help sometimes." He pulled her closer to him and she didn't fight it. "Look into your heart pretty baby" his voice was soothing to her as he sang quietly still edging her closer to the bed side. "is it aching with some nameless need. Is there something wrong and you can't put your finger on it that right time to roll to me. I don't think I have ever seen your soul so in despair so if you want to talk the night through guess who will be there. So don't try to deny it pretty baby you've been down so long you can hardly see. When the engine's stalled and it won't stop raining it's the right time to roll to me."

Peyton had more tears leaving her eyes as he finished the song but she also had a smile playing on her lips just like he had hoped. "Lucas...I don't know..." was all she could manage to say.

"Maybe we're not supposed to know. I told you before that we could take this slow Peyt. Day by day or slower if you don't think you're ready for that. But I just really don't wanna give up on us...not again. Most people never find what we have Peyton. We can overcome anything...we've done it so far...don't give up now. Let's keep going...I know in my heart that one day we'll find our happy ending." Lucas looked deeply into her eyes. He didn't know what he was searching for but what he found was a spark of hope. He watched as he smile grew wider and he was amazed to see it spread to her eyes. He had never seen her look more beautiful then she did at that moment. Somehow they both knew that things would be okay.

Okay I don't like that chapter, but the songs were "do what you have to do" by Sarah McLachlan and "Roll to me" by Del Amitri.