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Arianna: Fear not, minions of evil! I have returned from the light world! Muhahahahaha!
Latisha: Um, what are you talking about?
Arianna: Oops. Wrong place. I meant, hi faithful readers!
Eliwood: I told you not to eat the giant chocolate bar, but did you listen to me? No. No one ever does.
Latisha: Why would anyone listen to an idiot?
Erk: I don't know. Why do people listen to you, Latisha?
Latisha: -grabs big mallet-
Eliwood: I dun get it.
Arianna: Ummm…on with chapter!
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own it! Now stop making me feel bad about it! -bursts into tears-
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-: Pennsylvania :-
Pent, Louise, and Nils are at the Liberty Bell. Nils hits the bell with his flute and it dings loudly.
"DING! It's an E-flat!" he announces. Pent freaks out.
"NILS! You put a crack in it!"
"It was already there, dear." Louise tells him. Pent scratches his head.
"Oh. Well, why doesn't anyone fix it?"
"I don't know. Maybe they like it broken." she suggests.
"Well, that's silly. I'll fix it." Pent says and gets out a Hammerne staff. He uses it on the Liberty Bell and, with a glow, the bell is now fixed. Tourists stare in awe. "There." Pent puts his staff away, satisfied. Suddenly a tourist runs up to him.
"Excuse me, can you fix these?" he asks, holding up a pair of broken glasses.
"Fix this first!" yells another tourist, showing a torn shirt.
"Can you fix this?" a lady asks, holding her whining and crying child up. Pent stares at them and backs up slowly.
"Oh no….."
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Heath, Fiora, and Bartre are at the Pittsburgh Zoo. Heath is looking at the reptiles.
"Hyperion's cooler then any of them." he comments smugly. Fiora is looking at the zebras.
"Maybe Ms. Squiggles long lost cousins?" she proposes, as the zebras and her pegasus do share a certain horsie characteristic. Bartre is looking at the gorillas. He gives a cry of joy.
"Brother! I found you!" he tries to hug his long-lost brother, but instead just bangs his head into the metal bars of the cage. The gorilla screams loud and shakes his fist at Bartre. The ax man seems to understand this language, perhaps better than his own. "Uh, no. I still don't have the money to pay you back for the five-hundred gold you loaned me." Bartre sheepishly tells the gorilla. Fiora stares at the pair, understandably freaked out.
"Makes sense, I guess." Heath reasons, "Bar-tree. Monkeys swing on bars and climb trees."
"Hey! Why are those animals out of their cages?" comes a sudden shout and Fiora, Heath, and Bartre turn to see a zookeeper rushing towards them. "Help needed in sector 7!" he shouts into his walkie-talkie, "Three animals have escaped from their cages!"
"Wait, we can explain!" Heath protests.
"Three?" Fiora repeats, confused. Lots of zookeepers appear and swarm in on the trio.
"Get back in there!" One of them orders and sticks Hyperion in with the Komodo dragons.
(A/N: Don't ask me how they thought Hyperion looked like one of them.)
Heath cries out "Wait! NO! HYPERION!" but it is too late. Hyperion makes a lunch of one of the Komodo dragons. The other Komodo dragons back away in horror.
"Rarrrg!" they growl, which I believe roughly translated is "AHH! CANNIBAL!" The zookeepers have now become quite alarmed.
"We got ourselves a code reddish-orange. I repeat, a code reddish-orange. Cannibalism in the dragons!"
Another zookeeper takes a hold of Ms. Squiggle. "C'mon horsie!" she says and pushes Ms. Squiggles in with the Zebras.
"MS. SQUIGGLES!" Fiora screams, trying to get to her steed.
"Neigh?" the pegasus inquires of her new companions, which I think means 'Hi?'
"Neiiigh." a zebra answers, and he has said 'Yo man. Peace out.'
"Neigh. Neigh neigh." Ms. Squiggles gives an indignant snort. 'Figures. Hippie zebras.'
"Back in your cage!" says yet another zookeeper, pushing Bartre in with the gorilla from before.
"WAIT! I'm HUMAN!" Bartre tells him, but the man of the zoo just rolls his eyes.
"Suuure." he replies sardonically.
(A/N: How else does he think he'd be talking?)
Now stuck in a cage with a gorilla he owes money to, Bartre looks nervously at his companion. "Eh he. Hey, bro." The gorilla beats his chest and lets out a fierce scream.
"NO! No noogie!" Bartre screams back, climbing a tree and hiding in the many branches.
"HEY! GIVE US HYPERION AND MS. SQUIGGLES, um…and I guess Bartre, BACK!" Heath demands, but all he gets for his efforts is a gun held to his head.
"You're under arrest for attempted animal kidnapping!" the security guard informs him.
"AH! No way am I going to jail!" Fiora protests and whistles for Ms. Squiggles. Inside the zebra cage, the pegasus is in deep conversation with her brethren.
"Neigh, neighy neigh neigh?" she is asking. 'So, if I become one with my inner self, it will lead to peace of mind and self acceptance?'
"Neeeeiggh." the zebras reply. 'Right on, duuuudette.'
"MS. SQUIGGLES! GET YOUR HORSIE REAR-END OVER HERE NOW!" Fiora shrieks as the security guards close in on her.
"Neigh neigh." Ms. Squiggles reluctantly says. 'See you later, guys. The Woman calls me.'
"Neeeigh." they protest. 'Dude, you shouldn't let The Woman rule you.'
"Neigh neigh neighhh." she explains. 'Sorry dudeos, she's got the food. Toodles!' And with that she flies out of the cage. Fiora jumps on her back and they speed away.
"Neeeeeigggggh!" the zebras call after her. 'Fly to the sun, girl!'
"HYPERION!" Heath screams and the wyvern slurps a Komodo dragon tail the rest of the way into his mouth and swallows. "Get over here! And grab Bartre!" Hyperion flies out of the cage and into the gorilla one.
"Hoo hoo haa haa?" Bartre says as he jumps around on a tree branch. Hyperion snatches him up in his talons and flies down. Heath jumps on his back.
"Let's go, Hyperion!" Heath cries out as soon as he's on. The wyvern flies off in the direction Ms. Squiggles took.
"Shoot 'em down!" a zookeeper screams and the others quickly follow his order, shooting tranquilizer darts at Hyperion. One manages to penetrate the thick scales.
"Grrrr…….." Hyperion growls drowsily. 'I'm getting very….sleepy….zzzzzzz…..' He slowly flies lower and lower.
"MAYDAY! MAYDAY! GOING DOWN!" Heath screams, panicking.
"I want a banana." Bartre complains.
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-: Idaho :-
Lowen is at the potato fields.
"Pooootatoooooes……." he says, drooling. A farmer suddenly appears.
"Yup. We got white potatoes, green potatoes, hard potatoes, soft potatoes……"
Three Hours Later…..
"Big potatoes, small potatoes, bumpy potatoes, smooth potatoes…."
"SNORE" Lowen snores loudly, for even he isn't THAT interested in potatoes.
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-: Florida :-
Jaffar, Nino, Florina, Hector, Lyn, Kent, Eliwood, and Ninian are at Disney World.
"Let's go on 'It's A Small World', Jaffar!" Nino says, hopping up and down and pointing excitedly.
"…" Jaffar looks at said ride with something close to dread.
"Um, Ninian, would you want to go on a ride with me?" Eliwood asks shyly.
"Sure, what ride?" she answers cheerfully.
"You pick."
"Any ride you pick is fine by me." she says with a smile.
"Okay then." Eliwood smiles widely. "Tower Of Terror." Ninian's smile drops off her face.
"Any ride but that….."
"C'mon. It'll be fun." Eliwood insists and drags her off against her will. Meanwhile Lyn is eating a chocolate Mickey ice cream bar. She tugs on Kent's sleeve with her free hand.
"Where do you wanna go, Kent? Huh, huh, huh?" she asks, the sugar making her prone to repeating words multiple times.
"How about 'The Haunted Mansion'?" Kent suggests, looking at the nearby ride.
"Okay. But if I get scared, I get to hold your hand." she agrees, grinning. Kent sweat-drops but they head off. Now Hector and Florina are the only two left.
"So where you wanna go, Florina?" Hector asks, trying to read a map but getting a bit confused. Too bad he doesn't realize it's for a different park.
"Ummmm….uh…I don't know…anywhere you want…." Florina mumbles.
"Let's go on Space Mountain!" Hector decides, as that is the only ride he knows by name. He crumples up the map and throws it on the ground to a nearby park-worker's frustration.
"Oh, um…alright…." Florina agrees with some reluctance as the words 'space' and 'mountain' don't make it sound like a safe ride. A little kid walking by spots Huey and gasps.
"Lookie, Mom!" she cries out, pointing, "It's a unicorn!"
"Don't be silly, Molly. Unicorns don't exist." her mom replies, "It's just a flying horse."
(A/N: Because those are so common and unicorns aren't. –sweatdrop-)
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At 'It's A Small World'
Nino and Jaffar are riding along when the boat suddenly stops. An announcement is issued to the anxious riders.
"We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please remain seated. We should be running again shortly. Only about…forty minutes."
"Oh, goodie!" Nino cries joyfully as a collective groan is heard throughout the ride from the other passengers. "That means we get to spend more time looking at all the dollies!" Jaffar's eyes widen and he looks rather horrified.
"It's a world of laughter, a world of tears. It's a world of hopes, and a world of fears. There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware it's a small world after all!" sing the dolls surrounding them.
Jaffar twitches.
"There is just one moon, and one golden sun! And a smile means, friendship to everyone! Though the mountains divide, and the oceans are wide, it's a small world after all!"
"Isn't it beautiful, Jaffar?" Nino asks, looking over at her companion. She is startled to see him twitching violently. "Jaffar?" she repeats, concerned. He puts a hand on his killing edge. "JAFFAR!" Nino screams as she realizes what he's about to do.
"It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small, small-"
"GAAAAAAAAH!" Jaffar goes ballistic and beheads all the dolls.
"Worrlllld……zzzt…" The dolls fall over and there's a shocked silence.
SHOCKED SILENCE
"AHHHHH!" the tourists scream and the whole place spirals into complete chaos. People jump out of boats and the beheaded dolls send electric waves into the water which electrocute all who are trying to swim for it. Lots of screams echo around the tunnel.
"Um…I think we better get out of here, Jaffar." Nino says.
"…" Jaffar picks up Nino and runs off.
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At Tower Of Terror
Ninian is visibly shaking.
"Come on, Ninian." Eliwood is trying to persuade her. "Just get in the elevator."
"NO!" Ninian screams back, "I know what this thing does! It takes you up and then just drops you!"
"Uh, that's kind of the point." Eliwood deadpans.
"Miss, are you getting on or not?" the ride worker, dressed as a hotel person, asks. People in line are starting to get angry with the hold up.
"NO!" Ninian screams.
"YES!" Eliwood drags her in and straps her to a seat. Ninian goes hysterical and squirms.
"NOOOOOO!" she screeches in a chillingly horrible way. A shiver goes through the line. The ride guy battles with his morals and decides to let the obviously terrified girl be forcibly put on the ride. After all, he really needs his job.
"Ummm…right. Well, anyways, enjoy your ride." he says and quickly shuts the doors to the elevator.
"NOOOOO!" Ninian screams again.
"Ninian, people are staring." Eliwood mumbles, turning slightly red in the cheeks.
"NOOOOO!"
The little girl from before notices Ninian's odd clothing and pokes her arm. "Are you a Disney Princess?"
"Don't be silly, Molly." her mom says, pulling her daughter away from the crazy, screaming lady. "She's just a dancer from some far away land called Elibe."
Eliwood looks properly shocked. Ninian is too distracted to notice what the mom said.
"NOOOOO!"
The car comes to top of the building and starts moving forward. A voice comes from over their heads.
"Welcome to the Twilight Zone."
"NOOOOO!" Ninian continues to scream.
"Shhhh!" hush the other riders.
"NOOOOO!"
"Blah blah blah," the voice continues, unaware of the girl freaking out, "Another dimension blah blah." Eliwood looks into the eye thing.
"I can see myself!" he exclaims and waves. "Hi self!"
The car abruptly stops. Eliwood stares at the stone wall.
"Flux."
"NOOOOO-"
Car drops.
"OOOOOoooooooooooooooooo…………"
Car shoots back up.
"……………ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO!"
"EEEEK!" Eliwood screams like a girl. This continues for about four times. Finally the ride comes to stop at a floor and the overhead voice returns.
"You have safely returned from the Twilight Zone."
"Whooo." Eliwood exhales. "That was scary, huh, Ninian?"
Silence.
"Ninian?"
Eliwood looks over to see a ghostly white Ninian slowly sink to the floor.
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At Haunted Mansion
Lyn and Kent are in the moving cars. Lyn is huffing.
"This isn't very scar-"
"BOO!" yells a spider.
"Eeeek!" Lyn shrieks, hugging Kent tightly. Kent coughs.
"Can't breathe!" he gasps.
"BOO!" yells a ghost.
"EEEEK!" Lyn hugs Kent tighter and the knight turns blue from lack of oxygen.
"BOO!" yells a severed head.
"EEEK!" Lyn turns to Kent to find he has died from lack of air and is now a ghost.
"BOO!" Ghost Kent yells.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Lyn wakes up and her scream becomes more of a startled shout.
"Lady Lyndis, calm down!" Kent exclaims, alarmed.
"Wha-what happened?" Lyn asks while looking around frantically.
"We had to stand in line so long you fell asleep." Kent explains, still looking rather perturbed.
"Ohhh…ummm…I don't think I want to go on this ride anymore." Lyn says, pulling him out of line. "I might get scared and hug you to death." Kent stares at her in a baffled sort of way but goes along with it.
"Whatever you say, Lady Lyndis."
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At Space Mountain
Hector is staring at the ceiling watching asteroids fly around.
"Ummm…Lord Hector? This isn't in the dark, is it?" Florina asks timidly, nervous because it's already rather dark in line.
"Ya, why?" Hector answers and Florina's eyes widen.
"Oh no."
"What?"
"Um..nothing."
"Are you sure you don't want to sit in front?" Hector asks as they climb into their rocket-shaped car. "You might not be able to see anything sitting behind me."
"Um, I'm sure." Florina answers, already looking a bit pale. She climbs in behind Hector and the car takes off.
"Woooohoooo!" Hector cheers as they start through the tunnel. Florina is turning green as the rocket goes up, up, up, up, up…..then back down backwards. Florina gives a short , startled scream.
"Eeeek!"
"What happened?" Hector demands, looking around but only seeing darkness.
"Um, I think your armor is too heavy, Lord Hector." Florina guesses. The rocket is now stuck.
In the dark.
Back At Space Mountain Take-off Station
"We have a code off-white." a ride-worker is yelling into his headset. "Rocket #13 did not make the hill. I repeat, did not make the hill."
Back inside the ride, Hector is bored and drumming his fingers on the side of the car.
"Lord Hector?" Florina says in a low, strained voice.
"Hm?"
"I'm afraid of the dark." she admits.
"Oh, well, it's okay. I'm here." Hector says with a comforting smile. Florina shakes her head.
"You don't understand. When I get scared, I throw up."
Hector becomes afraid. Hector becomes very, very afraid.
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At Aladdin Magic Carpet Ride
"Lets go on there, Jaffar!" Nino says, pointing. Jaffar, however, is busy looking at a guy in an Aladdin's Jaffar costume who's walking by.
"…" Jaffar comments.
"Look, Jaffar! It's Jaffar!" Nino says and laughs.
"…"
The guy in the Jaffar costume is just innocently strolling along when he feels a sharp thing touch the back of his neck. It's Jaffar with his killing edge.
"……imposter." Jaffar accuses and prepares to deal a deathly blow. The costumed guy screams and shoves him away.
"AH! GET BACK!" He points his fake staff at him. "BAM!"
Fizzle goes the staff.
"Oh yeah. It's fake." The imposter Jaffar remembers with an embarrassed smile.
"…"
"Bad Jaffar!" Nino scolds as she finally runs up to the two. "NO JAFFAR! NO KILLING DISNEY CHARACTERS! You'll scar the little kids for life!"
"…"
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Oh no! Will Jaffar kill the Jaffar Imposter? Will Hector and Florina get off of Space Mountain before Florina vomits? What rides are Kent, Lyn, Eliwood, and Ninian going on next? Will Lowen ever escape the potato farmer? Where did Heath and Bartre land? Will I ever shut up? The answers to these questions and more in the next chapter of "Amuck In America"!
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Arianna: Heehee! This was the funnest chapter to write!
Jaffar: …..I hate you.
Arianna: NOOOOO! –sob-
Eliwood: GAH! I've heard enough "NOOOOO!'s" to last me a lifetime! I'm going to go find a woman who will say 'Yes' every once in awhile! Hey, Priscilla!
Priscilla: Yes?
Eliwood: New target.
Raven: NO! MY SISTER! STAY AWAY FROM HER!
Eliwood: Sister?
Lucius: Oh my Elimine, you didn't know that already? I told, like, everyone!
Raven: You WHAT?
Lucius: Whoops.
Arianna: I'm gonna get out of here before things get bloody. Please Review! Ta ta!
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