Chapter 43

Part One: A Good Man

1853—Cambridge, Massachusetts

"They're perfect, David." Suzanne smiled faintly as the sleeping twins lay beside her.

"Just like you," David whispered, as he ran his finger across Caroline's tiny face.

"How—how long can we keep this up?" Suzanne asked, blood draining from her face, as she draped her arms around her babies protectively.

"I don't know." David stood up and paced around the small dormitory room they had called their home for the last seven months. "My parents still don't know you're here."

"We could run away…" she whispered hesitantly, almost regretting it as he stopped in his tracks. David fell down on the other side of Lina, wrapping his arms around all three of them, not letting her pull away.

"Get married?" he suggested sheepishly.

Suzanne giggled self-consciously, as slight rouge appeared on her cheeks. "Are you actually proposing now? After I've given birth to your children?"

David caressed the side of her face with his free hand, peering into her violet eyes. "I know it's not the perfect time. I should have asked you a long time ago. But, I never claimed to be the perfect man. I'll make mistakes, but I'll always love you."

Suzanne couldn't breathe—none of this seemed real. "What about your degree? You're so close to being finished—"

"It's what my father wants for me, not what I want. I don't love medicine. Not like I love you. Not like I love my family. I want us to go places together. I want to change the world with you."

Lina cooed, as if she could understand her father, and Suzanne kissed the top of her head, looking at David through under her lashes. "If I was the perfect woman, I wouldn't be here. I'm so glad you found me."

David lifted her chin, trying not to grin just yet. "Is that a yes?"

Suzanne pulled her babies closer and smiled softly just before she kissed him. "It's not a no."

Frederick Ingle stumbled down the street, his heart beating rapidly, as he kept seeing Christine's face lying motionlessly on their bedroom floor. But it was her fault. Not his. She had deserved it.

Then he saw the house on Green Street. For a mother so vehement about protecting her daughter, her secrets had been easily discovered among her private things. His eyes roamed over the tall white columns. He scoffed at it. Big. Fine. So not what that little March brat deserved.

He stormed up the front steps, falling over himself as the white stairs began to collide with each other. This was her fault. If Susie could live in a place like this so could he.

Frederick hit the door three times, and then he heard the footsteps of dress shoes against hard wood. A lifeless maid opened the door, but when she saw Frederick Ingle, she stepped back, losing her grip on the knob, and screamed like she was seeing the devil.

Holland and Lina Lewis rushed out from the drawing room. "What in the world, Mary!" Mrs. Lewis asked, but then she saw the face of the stranger, and her reaction surpassed Mary's.

"Get out of here, you filthy varmint!" Holland stepped in front of his wife, shielding her.

"Where is she? Where's my Susie?" Frederick swayed, his eyes plays tricks as he knotted his fist and gripped the doorway.

"Suzanne?" Holland froze, losing some of his bravado as the man pushed his full, heavy weight against him.

"I want her," he said simply, but with such a twisted tone that Lina became physically ill, and Holland saw Mrs. March's desperate gray eyes—an "uneasy" relationship with Suzanne's stepfather, she had said. He had no idea it had gone that far. He never found the time to ask. David had always taken care of her; he had never felt the need.

"She hasn't been here for months…" Holland sputtered and pushed back against the intruder. "Get out! We won't let you near that child! Get out! GET OUT!"

With all of his physical strength, Holland peeled him off of his body like a leech and threw him out the door. Frederick looked up, murder in his eyes. "You always defend the meek of the earth, Reverend? She screamed for me and called my name when I took her, and she belongs to no one but me! Do you understand that, Reverend? No one but me!"

Holland slammed the front door, trying to block the words he had just heard, but he was unable to stop them.

Lina almost floated back in the room, her face drawn and white with horror. She pushed her fallen strains of graying hair out of her face and whispered harshly to Holland, "We have to warn her, Hal. We have to."

"I wouldn't know where to start looking in New York, Lina."

"We'll go ask David tonight. I'm sure he knows where to find her. After all, they were such good friends."

"I'll tell Willis to get the carriage ready."

"They're finally sleeping," David whispered, as he slowly rocked their crib. "I think this means they approve."

Suzanne tried to open her eyes, but she winced in pain and gripped the sheets beside her. "David… Something's—not right—"

David left the crib and quickly went to her, sitting down on the edge of the bed. A thin sheen of sweat covered her face, and he felt her forehead. "You're burning up, Susie... Please let me take you to the infirmary!"

Suzanne gripped his wrists. "No…no doctors… I just want you."

"It's never been this high before. We'll have to go to the infirmary—"

"NO!" She cried, shame in her fragile voice, "I don't want them to see—"

David leaned over her, turning her face gently until she looked at him. "Then let me see. Let me see. Show me where it hurts."

She stared at him, finding trust in his eyes, before letting go of his wrist as dragging her hand down to the sores. "Here."

David pulled back the sheets of the bed and carefully began to examine her. After he was finished, he swallowed, trying to moisten his dry throat, unable to hide the fear in his voice as he asked, "When did this start?"

"A few weeks after he-he…" Tears stopped her from continuing, and then she grabbed his hand. "It went away though. I thought it was gone. I thought I would get better."

David began to shake, his stomach sinking as he heard one of the babies sigh. "The first time when we—"

She turned away from him, her face red with self-loathing. "I was fine. I was so happy—I didn't think… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."

David leaned over her, kissing her tear-stained skin, forgiving her. "It's ok… It's ok." He kissed her until her tears subsided. "We'll be fine. They just… They just showed up now?"

"No…" She shook her head, trying to breathe and maintain herself for him. "The last month I was carrying the girls. I started notices the spots again. But they went away when it was time. But now…"

"Alright. I'll take care of you. Don't worry." Suddenly Caroline cried out, and David jumped up and went to her, pulling her away from Lina and lifting her in his arms. She leaned her little head on David's chest and let out a mighty wail, her face reddening as if she were in pain. David began to pace with her, rubbing her back, but she just let out another scream, nothing calming her. She wasn't hungry, she wasn't wet. David quickly looked to Suzanne for help, but her eyes were closed, and her head was rocking back and forth on the pillow, as if she couldn't find support. "It's ok, Caroline. Daddy's going to make it all better. You're a strong girl, aren't you? You're daddy's strong little girl."

Suddenly, urgent knocking forced its way above the cries of the baby, and David stumbled about the room, unable to think clearly as his other little girl began to cry, startled by the abrasive sound. Her tiny arms shook in the air for attention, so he carefully switched Caroline to one shoulder and picked Lina up on the other side.

Then he stopped moving, as he heard the last person in the world he wanted to be with right now. "Son! What is going on in there!"

David fell mute, as his father yelled. His babies were pulling at his chest, needing him. Suzanne was ill, and he didn't know what to do that she would allow. And his father, who would never understand any of his choices, was standing outside.

"David, open this door now! I know you're inside! I can hear you!"

David looked to the large window as the girls continued to cry, and suddenly, he made his decision. He put the babies down on the bed and pulled out a large basket. He placed the blankets from their cradle in it and then carefully put each girl inside the basket. Then he grabbed Suzanne's coat and pulled her weak body out of the bed. He threw the coat around her and gently slapped the sides of her face. "I need you to walk, Suzanne, just for a little while. We've got to go—"

As he pulled her up on his side, Suzanne screamed out, as the pressure traveled through her body.

"Who's in there with you, David? If you don't open this door now, I will not hesitate to beat it down!"

Nothing moved fast enough, as David tried to carry Suzanne to the large window, and the world slowed down even more, as the knocking on the door turned to insistent pounding, and no matter how close he kept his girls and Suzanne, there was no way out.

A shot was fired.

When the lock broke, David stopped fighting and turned around. His father and mother burst in the small room, and they froze, staring at him.

"In God's name son, what have you done?" Holland dropped his hands, disappointment and guilt dripping from them like the Scottish wife's blood.

David trembled and tried to stand tall, as Suzanne leaned against him. "This is my family, father."

Holland looked towards the whimpering basket and back towards the fallen woman in his arms. "You don't have a family. Not this one."

David's mother looked horrified as her husband lifted his gun. "What are you doing, Hal!"

"I'm fixing this mess. It'll be like it never happened. Give me the basket, David," he ordered.

David gripped the basket, stepping back in the room. "I'm not letting you near my daughters."

Holland's face filled with rage. "You don't have daughters! YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH THIS DISEASED WHORE! Look at her, David! Look at her! She's filthy!"

He shook his head, feeling like a small child under his father's control. "Don't talk about her like—"

Holland raised the gun, pointing it at David. "Don't you tell me how to talk, son. You were raised in a house where you know better. Now give me those girls or I will rid them right here in front of you. Do you want that?"

"Not my babies… Please don't let him do it, David… Please!" Suzanne begged.

He couldn't breathe. His soul was gone in that moment. Slowly, David brought the basket over to his father. "They're your granddaughters," David whispered pleadingly.

"She better be gone too when I return."

Holland took the basket from David and left the room without looking back. Lina stepped up, confusion and pity in her eyes as she put her hands on her son's. "I'll find out where he's taken them. Don't worry, my love."

David turned around, looking desperately to Suzanne, but her eyes were towards the ceiling, somewhere between delirium and prayer.

September 15, 1857

He had seen her every night for almost four months. Somehow, he could almost forget the reality of his life, because being with her was like discovering beautiful innocence every new moment of the day. When David left Michaela on her front steps that evening, he did not go home that night. Instead, he walked. He walked all the way across Boston, caught a local steamer and crossed the River Charles to Cambridge. He walked through the dark streets, keeping his eyes on his boots. As he reached the Iron Gate fence, he gripped the precious treasure she had given him earlier that evening and waited for the old caretaker to let him inside.

"Everyone's asleep," the old woman whispered harshly at him, as she pulled her nightgown closely around her body.

David leaned against the door frame, catching his breath. "I need to see my girls."

"This is getting ridiculous Dr. Lewis!"

"I have to see them." The caretaker simply raised her eyebrows unsympathetically. David quickly grabbed his medical bag and shoved it in front of her face. "I—I have medication they need!"

"Fine. Come in." She opened the door for him, and as he began to ascend the stairs, she shook her head. "No, they've been permanently moved to the infirmary. Follow me."

David frowned and backtracked down the first two stairs, as she opened a door at the end of the hall. She raised her oil lamp and began to descend down the dark stairs. David's eyes dilated, and his heart began to pound with irreconcilable guilt, as he realized his daughters had been locked in the basement of an orphanage.

As they reached the bottom, the temperature dropped, and sounds of small life could be heard crawling around on the stone floor. She pushed open a door, and there they were. Caroline was in an agitated sleep, shaking through each breath. Lina was on the floor, leaning against the bed, holding Caroline's hand.

Lina's head lifted slightly, as she peered through the darkness into the vague light, "Daddy?" she whispered.

David dropped his bag on the floor and quickly ran to her, picking her up off the cold ground. "I'm here, sweet girl. Let's get you back in bed, all right?"

Lina leaned her head on his shoulder, shaking it tiredly. "But she's cold. I—I can't leave her alone."

"I'll take care of her now. I don't want you getting any worse." David quickly tucked Lina back in her small bed. He turned around and glared at the caretaker. "Why don't they have thicker blankets? It's freezing down here!"

The caretaker raised her eyebrow at him. "They're your daughters. You could easily take them out of here and put them in a real hospital."

David winced, his stomach churning as he thought of his father, and he quickly went to Caroline. He opened the front of her nightgown and began to apply the mercury plaster directly to her chancres. Caroline opened her eyes briefly and almost began to speak, but David quieted her, telling her to rest. He lifted her neck and inserted a small mercury pill into her mouth. Caroline gagged on it, as he quickly reached for the pitcher of water. "There, there, there," he said as he brought it to her lips. He quickly took off his overcoat, as she continued to shiver, and he covered her with his coat. "Dream of sweet things, Caroline."

David turned to Lina, who was wide-awake and staring at him. He stood up slowly and sat down on the edge of her bed. "I brought you some good medicine—"

"I don't like it… I don't want it, Daddy," Lina began to cry, as she covered up her small chancres across her neck and chest.

David dropped his head. "I know… I know, sweetheart… But it's the only thing we have right now. If I knew of something else, I'd use it."

A single tear dropped down Lina's cheek. "Please don't make me take it."

David sighed and kissed her cheek, wiping the tear away. "I'll make you a deal."

"What?" Slowly, David pulled out the pocket watch Michaela had given him and held it in his palm for Lina.

Lina's lavender eyes sparkled for a moment, as she looked at the beautiful watch, and she slowly took it out of her father's hand. David smiled softly, as her eyes traveled around the gold watch, and then with a little effort, she opened it.

"Who is she?" Lina asked, as she stared at Michaela's beautiful face.

David leaned on his fist. "Did I ever tell you about fairy godmothers, Lina?"

Lina shook her head, her interest peeked. "Uh uh."

David pointed at the picture in the watch. "She's ours. She makes dreams come true. You know what I wished?"

Lina brought the watch closer, touching the face of the beautiful fairy godmother. "What?"

David smoothed her tangled, blonde hair away out of her face. "That you, me, and Caroline could all be together one day and be a real family."

Lina dropped the watch, and it slipped on the floor. "What about Mama?"

David sighed, immediately picking up the watch. He looked at Michaela's picture. He could feel Lina's eyes on him, and he could hear Caroline breathing. But the clock had stopped ticking. "Mama's very sick, Lina. She may never be well again."

Lina was quiet. She waited to speak until he finally turned around and looked at her. "She didn't take the medicines?"

He closed the broken watch. "Not soon enough, baby."

Lina put her hand over his, making him look at her. "It makes you real sad, doesn't it?"

David nodded quickly, unable to speak.

"But you'll be happy if I take the medicines?"

David smiled sadly. "That would make me happy."

"Will it make me better?" Lina looked down, biting her lip, as she felt the sore bumps on her flesh.

David looked away from her, catching the glow of the moon in the small window. "I can't promise you that, Lina."

Lina pushed up off the bed, her tiny body weak and groggy, but her mind still sharp and hopeful. She ran her hand down the long chain of the watch. "Maybe if we make a wish? You think the fairy godmother will hear us?"

David wrapped his arms around her, supporting her. "She might."

She dropped her head on his shoulder and whispered, "I'll take it for you, Daddy."

"Thank you. And I want you to keep this for me." He placed the watch in her tiny palm. "Make a wish on it every night before you go to bed. And one day, the fairy godmother will make all our dreams come true."

"I will." Then without words, David began to administer the mercury treatments. Lina stared up to the ceiling, as the poisonous medicine seeped into her system, hating every minute as her skin inflamed with red heat, blurring the lines between the healthy and sick tissue.

Once it was over, David tucked her in, watching as her eyes began to flutter with drowsiness. He looked to Caroline, who had fallen into a deep sleep.

"Don't leave, Daddy," Lina mumbled, sleep eminent.

"I have to go, sweetheart, but I'll be back tomorrow with warm blankets for you and your sister."

"Daddy… d-don't—" But she was asleep. David sighed, kissing her cheek one last time, before he picked up his things and left his girls.

1873—Boston Hospital

Abby looked at Katie desperately, David's hands still reaching out for her. "Ya have to talk to him, Katie," she whispered, "It's the only way we're gonna find out anythin'."

Katie inched forward, not letting go of Abby's waist, as she slowly put her left fist in David's hand. "I-it's me."

"You're angry with me, aren't you?" David's bloodshot eyes searched hers for truth.

Katie frowned, wishing she were theatrical like Abby. "I don't know."

"I should have told you the truth, not fairytales. I didn't know if she'd stay with me if she knew. But when I saw her with Caroline, I knew she'd love you. But then everything broke. You never wanted to take it, did you? You said it hurt. I didn't understand until… it got bad. Until I saw Mama just…being eaten alive. I never understood how medicine could work like that. Michaela tired so hard. How could I tell her she was fighting a losing battle?"

"You… you could have warned her." Katie leaned closer to him, her eyes holding back years of pain. "S-she never had a chance to live because of you. Because of your doubt. Because you didn't trust her. Y-you tried to make her you."

David's chest rose as she hit him with her words, and even then, he knew he could never make her understand. "No Lina… I tried to save her… I did."

Katie's stomach churned at the words. "Wh-when? When did you save her?"

A tear fell down David's dry eyes. "When your mother shot us all."

Abby looked up. "Did you hear that, Doctor?"

The doctor nodded, stepped forward and whispered something into one of his attendant's ear. The young man was soon out the door.

"Ok, Katie… Ya did good," Abby whispered, trying to pull her little sister away from David, but Katie stayed steely in place.

Katie glared into David eyes and began to speak in perfectly clear English. "Did you know how alone I was? Did you know that? No. Because you do not know who I am. I did not know what my mother looked like because of you. You were so scared and weak that you never thought about who else you might affect with your selfishness. Everything is a dream to you, but life is not a dream. It is not a hope. It is now, and you have taken away so many of my moments. But, you do not even know, do you? I do not know who Lina is, but I do know that she deserved better than a father like you."

Katie pushed back from the bed, pulling her hand from David's grasp and squirming out of Abby's arms, until she was standing on her own two feet. Her back straightened and she stood tall, like a bolt in the sky and looked at David one last time. "I will forget you," she swore, before turning around and running out of the room.

Panic seized him, as he watched her tear away, and he nearly shot up out of the bed, reaching after her. "Don't leave me, Lina!"

There was no answer, as his heart broke.

"Lina…Don't—"

Abagail screamed, as he fell back, his hands spread to Heaven's as if he were asking God for forgiveness.

1893—New York Public Library

Lina stared at the picture, unable to fully comprehend what he was asking her. Finally, she closed her eyes, trying to think of why she had a picture of his mother, but all she could see were silent wishes every night, hoping her fairy godmother would come, and dreaming her daddy would find her and rescue her.

Finally, she said, "It's my father's watch. I've had it since I was a little girl."

"Who's your father?" Stephen asked quickly, kneeling down in front of her.

She shook her head self-consciously. "I… I don't know. I was barely five the last time I saw him. He…was just daddy."

"Why would he have my mother's picture?" Stephen asked, suddenly panicking.

Lina stood up, dressing quickly as she felt the pressure of his eyes and questions. "I don't know… He—he didn't tell me anything about her. I didn't think she was real."

"Not real?" Stephen couldn't hide the anger in his voice. "What did he say?"

"That she was our hope… That she made dreams come true. I—I don't know." She pushed her hair back behind her ears nervously. "Why are you asking me this?"

Stephen paused, digesting everything she was telling him. "My mother has only been involved with two men—my father and David Lewis. Such gifts are never given lightly."

The silence in the room was sickening.

"David Lewis… That woman in the asylum… She shot your mother... Your mother was in prison all those years because of him—" Lina's body stiffened, as realization washed over her slowly. Then she looked at Stephen's face. His young, caring, nearly innocent face. She wouldn't change a single thing about him. She wouldn't age him, she wouldn't add any pain, she wouldn't create any illness or heartache. She stood up abruptly, tying her scattered skirts, catching her coat around her shoulders. Her stomach lurched, and she couldn't stand to look at him anymore. "Excuse me—"

Before Stephen could stop her, Lina ran out of the main reading room and into the hallway. He ran after her, and by the time he got there, the swinging door of the ladies' washroom was the only evidence of her presence.

Stephen pushed through the door and found her on her hands and knees in front of the latrine. He quickly put his hands on her back and pushed back her hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach. When she finished she fell back on her knees and pushed away from him. "Don't touch me!"

"Lina—" Stephen reached for her again, but she held up her hand covering her scars.

"You hate my family. Y-you think they're monsters—" She covered her face, falling into herself. "What you must think of me—"

"It's not you, Lina. You're wonderful… I didn't know your father; I didn't. I just know how my family's been affected. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"I loved him! I would have died if he hadn't made me take those horrible treatments, did you know that? I can't judge him with you. I can't. I can't condemn him. I know what it's like to be that sick. If he got as bad as you say he did, he should have been in a hospital. But nobody was there to take care of him. Everybody ignores people like us. The diseased. The unwanted. We have to hide it, or we are eventually thrown out. Discarded." Lina pushed off the tile floor, drying her eyes, but Stephen stopped her, and grabbed her hand.

"What are ya doin'?" He asked, utterly confused.

"I'm going before you get too close and see something you don't want," Lina took her hand away and ran out of the restroom. Stephen hesitated for a moment, but then he ran after her. The moment was too long. She was gone, and he couldn't find her anywhere.