Author's Notes: I actually had most of this part completed, but sadly, I left it in the office or else it would've been posted sooner. This was amusing to write and I hope you're amused by it too. Chloe's such a devil inside. LOL!

Act 3 of 6

"That's it!" Chloe slammed the door loudly for the entire world to hear. Scratch that. Enough for Lois Lane, her dear cousin to hear. "I nearly failed my exam this morning." She stomped her way thoroughly inside Lois's apartment.

Lois rushes towards her. "What? Why? I left when you told me too." Lois defends herself vigorously.

"Sit down!" Chloe ordered.

Lois does what she's told and sits quickly down on the couch that she happened to conveniently stop at.

Chloe paced in front of her and she contemplated that maybe her little cousin had gone too far into the deep end of the pool this time. She continued pacing, driving Lois all the more insane. There has to be better punishment than this.

"Chloe"

"Quiet!"

And she shuts up, too.

Chloe was incredibly spry tonight. The last time she saw her this way was back in high school when she was drugged up with crazy cheerleading meteor rock pheromones. She hoped it wasn't the case here, she distinctly recalled Chloe with a wrench and the pain caused by it afterwards.

It wasn't pretty and she didn't want a replay.

"Chloe," Lois attempted to say once more even though bodily harm may ensue. She couldn't take the silence much longer.

Chloe stopped pacing and looked at her that it made Lois lean back further into the couch, which was impossible since there was nowhere else to go.

"You need to talk to Clark," she said commandingly. Whenever Chloe brought out that voice, it always made Lois want to hug her real tight. She looked so adorable when she was angry and 'tough like' but she thought against it and followed along. She'd like to keep her limbs in tact.

"Clark?"

"Yes, Clark"

"Why?"

"Because you're both driving me crazy"

"Oh, that's a little harsh." Chloe refused to back down, making Lois sigh. "What do you want me to do exactly?"

"Anything. Do anything. Heck, sleep with him if you have to"

She couldn't believe what her cousin was saying. "I don't have to do anything." And when her cousin's words suddenly processed itself in her mind, she had to take a step back. "Sleep with him? You really are going crazy"

"I'm serious, Lois"

"So am I"

"What is wrong with dating Clark Kent?"

"Nothing"

Chloe didn't believe her for one second. "Yeah right, nothing."

"I swear to – "

"Don't swear to him, Lois." She points at her. "You can't do that. We haven't done that since we were kids, so don't you dare swear to him now"

Lois sighed. This is becoming a lost cause.

"What happened when I left this morning?"

"You and Clark happened"

"Yeah, I figured that much," she chuckled.

"Don't laugh"

She starts to chuckle even more at the absurdity of the situation. Is this what she's become now?

"I can't help it"

"You're leaving me with no choice"

Lois's face turns serious. "What?"

Her only answer from Chloe was a confident glare. She was up to something, she knew it. She just had no idea what.

That troubled her.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures and Chloe Sullivan, intrepid future reporter is going all out. There was nothing that's going to stop her from completing her mission. Operation Lover's Quarrel is now commencing.

Chloe managed to fool both Lois and Clark in meeting with her one afternoon.

"What's he doing here?" Lois asked, unamused. She received an urgent voicemail from Chloe asking her to meet with her at some unfamiliar address.

"Me? What are you doing here?" Clark asked himself.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "You guys are just in time"

"Time for what?" both of them reply, looking practically terrified.

She leads her cousin and Clark in an old stylish building with décor that seemed to have been derived back in the 50's. Clark just looked on curiously with wide-eyed wonder. Typical. And Lois just huffed and complained. Typical too.

Chloe goes to introduce them to a peculiar middle-aged man. "Lois. Clark. This is Doctor Vanderbolt"

Lois leaned towards Clark, whispering. "This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone," Lois mock recited the old television show, making Clark laugh.

Chloe didn't see it that way though.

"I'm going leave you three now"

"What?" Both Lois and Clark say in unison.

"Chloe – "

"Wait!" Clark adds in protest.

Then she was gone, leaving him with Lois and a strange guy by the weird name, Vanderbolt. A doctor no doubt. For Christ's sake!

The two good looking young people stood next to each other in surprised silence as the man simply looked on. His expressing unchanged.

Lois points back towards the door her cousin just disappeared through.

"Did she just trick us into seeing a shrink?"

Clark was astounded and shocked.

"I think she did"

They awkwardly looked back at the… their doctor. This isn't going to be good. Not at all. Lois is going to cut Chloe off from her life. She means it this time.

"Let's talk about your relationship," Dr. Vanderbolt began in a monotonous tone. Lois and Clark curiously wondered if a therapist was supposed to sound that disconnected to their patients – not that they were patients – it's just, supposedly of course.

"We don't have a relationship," Lois answered first.

"Ahh…" the doctor says like some big light switch was just suddenly turned on. "Denial." He checked off something on his list attached to a clipboard.

"Denial?" she scoffed. "Denial from what?"

"I sense anger in you, Miss Lane"

Clark chuckles and Lois grows annoyed.

"Yeah, and I'm sure it'll lead to fear and will no doubt turn into suffering, next thing you know – " Clark cuts her off by hitting her side softly.

She throws him an angry glare.

"Could you describe how you first met?" the doctor asked, seemingly oblivious to the couple's shenanigans.

Lois suddenly grinned. Remembering it quite vividly.

On the other hand, Clark's head fell, hiding his reddening face. "I don't – " Clark said.

"Summer of '04," Lois answered much to Clark's surprise. Not that she knew but that she actually consciously answered.

"Please, tell me what happened," the doctor insisted.

She rolled her eyes. This guy can't be serious. She waves to Clark for him to finish it. She wanted nothing to do with this. Nothing to do with this at all.

"I was kind of out of it, that summer," Clark tried to explain without giving too many details.

Lois laughed softly. He certainly was out of it.

The doctor didn't fully understand what he meant. "You mean that, you were on drugs?"

"NO!"

Lois laughs, this time, letting it out loudly. Dr. Vanderbolt doesn't appreciate the interruption and lack of attention.

"Miss Lane, I insist you take this session seriously. You'll never know how to solve the problem of your relationship if you continue to deny that there is a problem"

"What problem? What relationship?" She looked at Clark before looking back at the so-called shrink. She wasn't the one with a problem. "We're in couple's therapy and we're not even a couple. Explain to me how that makes any sense"

"It's often good to let out your anger in front of your significant other. It's a good first step to acknowledging what the problem is"

Lois and Clark just stared at him blankly, blinking a couple times also. Lois looked back at Clark, making a circling motion by the side of her temple, indicating that the doctor in front of them was insane in more ways than one.

She is so totally going to make her cousin pay.

Dearly.

"How many times a week do you and Mr. Kent have sexual intercourse?"

If Lois had been chewing a piece of gum at that moment, she could swear she would've choked on it and died right there and then. Where did he come off asking such a question?

"Huh?" she said blankly.

Clark just stared disbelievingly at the question, feeling completely embarrassed. He wasn't liking Chloe now either, this was in no doubt the craziest plan she has ever hatched out.

Lois didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the question. "You did not just ask me that"

"Not many," the doctor deduced, checking off his list once again.

"Not many?" Lois wanted to blow a gasket. She grabs his clipboard and pen. "Try NOT at all." She scribbled on it like a mad woman.

Clark remained silent besides her. There was nothing he could say. How will they ever get out of this one with their pride still in one piece?

"So you and Mister Kent have been saving yourselves"

Lois blurts out a loud laugh. "That'll be the day"

Clark rolled his eyes. "You're really making it easy for me not to like you right now"

"Finally. Now we're getting somewhere"

"Could you be anymore insensitive?"

"Could you be more crude?" she retorted.

"God, you make me angry"

"You make me angry, too"

"Fine"

"Fine!"

Dr. Vanderbolt simply looked between the two. "Hmm"

An hour later…

Lois and Clark were deep into the session with Dr. Vanderbolt with intense attention to the problem at hand.

"When I first met her, I thought she was stubborn and rude. And I really, really didn't like her. And a year later, my opinion of her didn't change. She was still stubborn and rude"

Lois wasn't going to let him get the last word. "Yeah, right. And you weren't?" She looked at Dr. Vanderbolt. "Smallville here is one of the most inconsiderate people I know"

Clark was shocked. "You're joking right? That's completely untrue"

"Please. You were always whining about everything. Lana this. Lana that. I'm never going to be normal. What the hell was that all about, anyway? What's so special about normal?"

"You'll never understand"

"Hey. People die and are in pain all over the world when they don't have to be, but here's the difference. They live their lives every day like it's their last while we live just to live."

"Since when did this become about me?"

"Right about when you started calling me stubborn and rude"

"You are stubborn and rude"

"And you're not inconsiderate?"

For the first time since their session started, Dr. Vanderbolt smirked. They made quite a pair, even if they don't realize just how amazing they are together. He's provided counsel to many couples, but none quite so interesting as Lois Lane and Clark Kent.

When the session finally ended, Lois and Clark exited the shrink's office with looks of disdain, bewilderment and utter embarrassment on their faces.

"Well…" Clark uttered without too many words.

"That was…"

Clark stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Embarrassing." He felt nervous.

"I was thinking more in the lines of appalling, but embarrassing definitely took a good second place to it"

Clark takes offense to that. "It wasn't that bad," he suddenly defended. After the hoopla that happened inside the psychiatrist's office, he hadn't had a clue why he was doing so. A part of him agreed, but another part of him was glad that another barrier to their somewhat non-existent relationship was broken down.

Now the question of whether or not that was a good thing has yet to be answered.

"CHLOE!" Lois barged into her dorm room without so much as a knock. "That was the sleaziest move you've ever done behind my back, cuz"

Chloe ignored her. "I learned from the best," she grinned. "Are you together yet?"

Lois glared at her. "NO!"

"Well, then, we have nothing to talk about."

Lois puffed. She couldn't believe this. Chloe will not let up.

To be continued…