- 3 -
The ride to the hospital seemed way too long to me. Anna's in the back of the ambulance with me, keeping me company. I personally think she's there to make sure that I don't lose it anymore then I already have. The rest of them are riding in the police car behind us.
We get to the hospital and they take Adam out of the ambulance and inside. Anna and Tara both have to stop me from racing after the doctors when they take him into intensive care. The hospital won't let me go in and see him yet because they say that I am not related by blood. I'm his wife! I should have the same rights as blood relatives do.
Tara and Anna are watching me like hawks watching their pray in the waiting room. Tears just won't stop coming out of my eyes and I can't sit still. If anything happens to Adam, I really don't know what I'll do. He has become the center of my world so quickly and I won't go back to the way it was before.
"Where's Adam's dad and Joan's parents? You sure you kept up your half?" I hear Tara say to Anna. "I kept up my end of the deal. I called the Girardi's and they said they'd be here as soon as they could. I did my part." Anna snaps back quickly. "Well, don't blame me. I called his dad." Tara replies, defensively. I look up at them, my vision blurred with tears. "Stop it. Please don't do this now." I say in a low voice.
"Joan?" I look up quickly to see the source of that familiar voice. I quickly stand and run into my mother's arms. "It'll be alright sweetheart. It'll be alright." Mom says trying to comfort me and stop me from crying. I grab onto her blue sweater tightly, as if I'll never let go. I finally pull back a couple minutes later and look up at them.
My father looks tired, as if he hasn't gotten much sleep lately. My mother looks worried and it makes me start to cry again. It's my dad's turn to pull me close. I feel like a little girl again, running to the safety of her parents open arms. Strangely enough between hugging the both of them I do feel slightly better.
My eyes must be so blood shot, but I don't care. I sniffle and mom runs her fingers through my hair. "Do you want to tell us what happened?" dad asks. I look up to see Anna on the phone.
I look back at my parents and I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to regain my composure. Regaining it, I start to tell them everything that happened.
"Adam and I had Anna, Matt, Chris and Tara over for dinner and the evening started off great. It actually was a lot of fun at the beginning. Adam and I were making dinner and I realize that he looked flushed. I asked what was wrong and he wouldn't tell me. I kept asking over the next few minutes because he kept looking worse and he started to get mad at me for asking. A couple of minutes later, he dropped the knife he was using to cut up stuff and just collapsed. Chris called for an ambulance and we got here as soon as we could. They won't let me go see him because I'm not blood related. I'm so scared of losing him. I can't go through this again after going through everything with the accident back in August. I just can't do it again. I'm so scared that something's going to happen to him and I won't see him again."
I feel like I might cry again and I wipe at my eyes to try to stop myself. "It's going to be okay. He's going to be okay." mom says. Dad sets his jaw and says "They can't do that to you. You're his wife, you should have the same right as Carl does." I shrug my head and say, "I don't know."
I hear footsteps of someone approaching us and I look up to see Adam's dad. "How is he? What happened?" He asks me. "He collapsed earlier while we were making dinner. And for how he's doing, I don't know. They won't let me in to see him." I reply. "Where's a doctor in this place?" my dad asks as he stands and walks towards the receptionists at the front desk. "Are you alright?" Carl asks. I sigh. "I don't know. I really don't know." I reply.
A nurse comes down the hallway followed by my dad. Tara, Anna, Matt and Chris come to stand beside us. The nurse looks down at her clipboard, then back up at us.
"He has an infection. It was a pretty severe one that spread through his whole body. That's why he collapsed. It's not life threatening, luckily. With some antibiotics, he should be just fine." "That's why he was sweating and everything?" I ask. The nurse nods and says, "Yes, it is. It had already been in his system for a while and those were the final side effects." "Do you know where he caught it from?" Carl asks. The nurse shook her head. "No, we do not. Hopefully he will be out in a few days. The antibiotic treatment should continue for a short while afterwards, to make sure it is completely cleaned out of his system." "When can we see him?" I ask. "Anytime starting in around 5 minutes. You're his father, right?" The nurse looks at Carl. "Yes, I am.""Then dad, you can come with me first." "This is his wife. Can she go in now?" Carl asks, looking at me. The nurse looks at me, then back at Carl. "Family first, then she can. Okay now dad, follow me." The nurse says, signaling Carl to follow her down the hallway.
I watch them leave, now starting to get mad. "I just can't believe that they can do that." "They shouldn't be able to--" dad says, pausing. "I'm going to get some coffee. Would anyone like anything?" No one answered, so he walked off towards the cafeteria.
"I called Grace earlier. She said that Luke and her would be here tomorrow morning. They said they'd call Glynis and Friedman and let them know as well. Hopefully they can come too." Anna says, sitting down next to me. I look at her, grateful. "Thank you." I say. Anna smiles a thank you. "You okay now?" She asks. "I'm better now you could say. I'll be able to see him soon. My parents are here, Adam's dad's here. Grace and Luke will be here in the morning. I know what's wrong with him and I can kick his $$ later about not telling me." She looks at me. "Don't be too hard on him Joanie. He probably didn't know." "Yeah, well..." I say and Anna smiles faintly at me. "I'm going to call everyone and let them know how he is. They're going to try to be here in a little bit." "Okay." I say, as she turns to leave.
I glance up and swallow hard. I see a familiar black man in a doctor's uniform looking at a clipboard. Standing, I walk over to him.
"Why didn't you tell me he was sick?" I ask the man. "It wasn't my place to do so." Doctor God replies. "Why not?" "Because, it was Adam's place to tell you." "But, he didn't." I point out. "Maybe so." God says, as he starts to walk.
"So was Adam getting sick my punishment for not talking to you lately?" I ask as I follow him down the hallway. God turns to look at me." No. I'd never do that to you Joan. You know that." "So, what now?" I ask. "What do you mean?" God asks. "What do I do now?" "Forgive him Joan. Adam didn't do anything wrong, you shouldn't be mad at him." God replies. "I can't help it. We're married. I should know these things." I say, trying to make a point. "I'll see you around, Joan." God says, not answering me. I roll my eyes at him and he starts to walk faster then me. He waves back at me as he starts to turn down the hallway.
"Joan!" I hear my name being called down the hallway. I turn and see Zoe, Caitlyn and Iris back by the waiting area. I walk back towards them and hug Zoe first, then Iris and Catilyn. "Sorry we couldn't get here sooner." Caitlyn says. I reply, sighing, "It's okay." I say. "How is he?" Iris asks, concerned. "I haven't been able to go in and see him yet. But, when his dad's finished visiting with him, I will. I can't stand not seeing him. I miss him so much. That's so sad, right? I can't go 2 hours without seeing him." I smile faintly, then let out a small laugh-snort and shake my head. Zoe smiles and replies "No, that's not sad. I feel the same about Aldin." This statement makes me smile.
"What's wrong with him?" Caitlyn asks very directly, getting to the point. "He has an infection. It had spread through his system and him collapsing was the final side effect." "Oh my god. That's so, oh my god." Caitlyn says, blinking her eyes several times. "Yeah." I say, sitting down.
"You okay?" Iris asks, sitting down beside me. "Yeah, I'm better." I reply, taking in a deep breath. Zoe touches my hair and pushes it back from my face.
I look up to see Carl walking towards me. "You can go in and see him now Joan."
"He's awake?" I ask. Carl nods "yes" and I stand up. "I'll see you later Joanie." Zoe says. I take in another deep breath and give Zoe a small smile, and then I turn to walk down the hall to Adam's room.
I stop at his door and take a moment to find my composition. I take another deep breath, and then step into Adam's doorway. The bed's up slightly and he's sort of sitting up. He looks up and meets my gaze and gives me one of the warmest smiles I've seen since I got here.
"Hey." I say. "Jane, Hi." He says, looking me up and down and grinning. I set my jaw and look at him again. "Don't do that. You have no right to." I say, sitting down in the chair next to his bed. He turns to face me and looks at me slightly confused. "I have no right to do what?" "Act like you did nothing. You knew. You knew all along that you were sick and you didn't tell me." Adam closes his eyes, then after a moment opens them again. "Can we not do this now?" I set my jaw even more. "When would you like to do it?" I ask. "When we're home, when I'm better. Please, not now Jane." Adam replies. I relax my expression and take a deep breath. "Okay, fine. But I will give you some real st when we get home. Got it?" Adam snorted slightly. "Okay, fine." he answers.
Neither one of us speaks for a moment and Adam's the one to break the silence. "I've missed you so much the last couple hours. The sheets don't smell right. The ones at home smell like you. They smells like your skin. The ones here smell un-familiar and like over-washed cotton. They don't smell right," he says. I smile at him. "I missed you so much." I say.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I was just--" Adam pauses and looks like he's searching for the words. "You were looking forward to tonight and I didn't want to ruin it for you." I come to sit on the edge of Adam's bed. I lick my lips, and then look back at him. "You didn't ruin it. I hate that you'd ever think that." "I'm sorry." Adam says, reaching for my hand and he starts to trace the skin on my palm. "Never mind that right now." I sit up closer to him and reach forward to kiss him.
He kisses me with so much longing, that I start to forget that we're in a hospital. I open my mouth and touch his tongue. It tastes faintly of sleep and my taste buds start to go crazy for the taste of him. I can feel Adam pulling me in and I move slowly towards him. He pulls me down to sit beside him and I pull away a moment later, because I am giggling too hard to keep my mouth closed.
He smiles at me with lust in his eyes and he leans in for more of me. We're drinks each other in and I feel as if I might fall to the floor if the bed wasn't supporting me. I pull away and squeeze my eyes shut. Adam looks at me concerned and asks what's wrong. "It's just... I was so scared of losing you tonight. I was so scared of going through the thought of losing you again." "Jane..." Adam says looking at me again and I can tell that my eyes are starting to fill up with tears.
"Jane, what's wrong?" Adam asks again. "I just can't lose you. I love you Adam. You're my world and I don't know what I'd without you." Adam touches my cheek and dries the tears on them. He kisses me again, then pulls away and wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly.
"Don't worry Jane, I'm not going anywhere. I want to grow old with you, I want to have children with you and I want to spend my life with you. I want to us to be one of those old couples sitting in the sunroom. I'm in this all of the way Jane and I wouldn't give us up for anything. I've lost you before and I'm not going to lose you again. Trust in that and trust in us. I love you Jane, I love you so much."
Tears just start to come pouring down my cheeks and they won't stop. Adam smiles at me and it looks like he might start to cry as well.
He gently pushes the hair off of my face and smiles at me. He reaches up to cup my face with his hands and he kisses me. I give him a quick peck and pull away.
"What?" Adam asks, sounding disappointed. "It's just --" I pause. "-- nothing. Don't worry Adam, it's nothing." I reply, finishing. He looks at me as if he doesn't believe me. "Can I lay down next to you all of the way?" I ask after a moment, because I am half lying down, half sitting up at the moment. Adam nods and scoots over to give me room beside him. Adam puts his fingers on the button and lowers the bed the rest of the way down, so that we are laying down flat.
I snuggle up against him, resting my head against his shoulder. I lay a hand gently on his stomach and rubbed softly, wishing to feel more intimate with him. I feel a tremor run through him. I look up at him and his lips are hovering right before mine. I move slightly towards him and opened my mouth and press it against his.
Adam grabs at me with both hands and mouth, and I can suddenly feel all of this heat rushing through me. I have to force myself to remember that we're in a hospital and that he's hooked up to all of these cords.
Adam seems to have forgotten all about them, because he keeps trying to pull me even closer to him. He wraps his arms around my back, and then drops them to my waist, where they flirt with the hem of my shirt. They then move to my back where they slip down over the top of my jeans where they entertain themselves with trying to get down the back of them. I pull away fast because I feel that this is way too heated for a hospital.
"What's with the rush there Rove? You need to get out of the hospital before any of that can happen." I say, teasingly trying to hide the fact that I want him so bad right now that I can barely stand it. Adam's panting heavily as he nods "yes". "You can have sex with me when you get out of here." I say, trying to be funny. Adam seems to have lost his sense of humor. He just nods again and it seems that his breathing has somewhat returned to normal.
"Do you mind staying with me until I fall asleep?" Adam asks a moment later. I reply with a smile and relax more into his embrace again, then put my hand on his chest again. "Jane, don't. Please. Not here. I may not be able to stop myself if you do." he says, moving my hand. I try to put on a pout, and then choose not to and I reply, "Okay, sure". Adam looks at me and says, "I love you Jane". I look into his dark eyes, and smile at him. "I love you too." I say. I snuggle into him again. Adam pulls me closer and he closes his eyes. I push his wavy brown hair off his face and trace his lips with my fingers.
Adam opens one eye and looks at me. He kisses my fingers and then playfully, gently bites at them. He looks up into my eyes again.
"What?" I say, with a slight laugh. "I'm trying to go to sleep Jane. Don't toy with me and get me all crazy about you, then to only tell me to chill out and get my sexed up about you hormones to settle down. Don't get me round up again. At least not tonight Jane." I laugh about what he's just said and Adam looks at me. "Please Jane." Adam says again, a slight pleading sound in his voice. I stop laughing and look at him. Adam leans forward to kiss my forehead; he then travels down to my lips, nipping at my lip playfully as he pulls away.
Adam attempts to close his eyes again, then he quickly opens one to glance over at me, then he closes them again and turns towards me. I reach for one of his arms and drape it around my waist. Adam opens his eyes again and sighs, looking at me.
"Jane, what are you doing?" Adam asks. "I want you to feel that even once you've gone to sleep that I'm still close." I reply. "Okay." Adam says, as he starts to message my sides and then closes his eyes again. He continues to gently rub my sides as his breathing slows down into an almost sleeping rhythm.
I yawn and it finally starts to sink in that it has been an extremely long, tiring night. I close my eyes for a moment to rest them and I suddenly feel very, very tired...