Warnings: It's another song-fic! dum dum dummmmmm Also, it is a Harry/Hermione romance fic, so be careful what you read. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha. And, just so you know, I have NO/NADA/NONE ownershipage-ness of Harry Potter. Why would I be writing fanfics, eh?
orokid: I was on an airplane flying to Spain at the time I wrote this. It's either a little weird or extremely sappy. (I get confused sometimes…)
Notes: lyrics , story, book
WHILE YOU LOVED ME
If I ever write the story of my life
Don't be surprised if you're where it begins
Girl, I'd have to dedicate every line on every page
To the memories we made, while you loved me
Hermione gazed through the non-fiction section of the newly opened wizarding bookstore, eyes focusing on the bind of every book. There were nineteen, no, twenty-one shelves on her best friend. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, Lightning Scars: the Telltale life of Harry Potter, Savior: Just When We Needed Him Most… the titles continued endlessly.
She wished that she had stayed in touch with him, just so she knew what he was doing nowadays, since he had become the world's savior (or messiah or whatever they called him now). It had been complicated, the reason why she had left, but things would have gotten even more confusing if she hadn't gone.
A title had caught her cinnamon colored eyes. It had been in the same sloppy handwriting she had seen so many times back when she was in school, while overseeing a potions essay or just deciding to watch his hand move messily over the piece of parchment, his mind evoking his words on the paper. 'Seems to be a best seller', she mused to herself as she read the title at the top of the nearly empty shelf.
"'While You Loved Me, an autobiography by Harry James Potter, savior of the wizarding and muggle worlds alike'.", she read aloud. She sighed as she realized that it wasn't about her, but probably Cho Chang or about how his parent's love had saved him so many times during the building war. "'An interesting book of childhood love, outrageously vicious battles, and losing the one thing that means the most- your heart'.", she read underneath the title, four golden stars underneath that, followed by the magazine 'Magic Lit. Weekly, for Reader's of the Wizarding World'.
Her hand moved up and down the book's spine, feeling the emerald text with the nerve-endings on her fingers before removing it from its place amongst its kind.
Carefully, she pulled the cover aside, seeing her name written in the dedication, prompting her to read it, his calm soothing voice speaking the words for her within her mind. 'Every word, every line, on every single one of these pages, are for you, Hermione Granger', she heard him whisper softly. She only could imagine him, his emerald orbs watching her seriously, a small smile tugging on his already curving lips. 'This is to our memories together.'
Even the image of him made her knees go weak.
I was born the day you kissed me
And I died inside the night you left me
But I lived, oh how I lived
(I lived) While you loved me
She touched her lips as she remembered how he had given her CPR when he had thought that she had drowned. He saved her that day and made her swear never to go near the lake without him or Ron.
But then he had tried to leave without her, and he almost had if it hadn't been for Crookshanks clawing him as he walked though the portrait hole to leave. He hadn't screamed very loud, but she had still heard him. That night, it had paid to be a light sleeper. If he had left, she would have died internally.
She knew why she would have too.
It was because she loved him. So deeply that it hurt to leave his side to sleep sometimes.
Hermione slowly turned the page to the first chapter, wondering to her herself why he had decided to dedicate his book, his autobiography of all things, to her, the girl who almost destroyed all chances to win the war.
On the top of the page, written his same handwriting and green ink, was the number one, underlined, the words 'Meeting Her' bolded underneath the numeral, carefully written and smaller than the one, yet bigger than the text below it. She smiled to herself, noticing that fixing him so many times had finally paid off.
She began to read it, his voice still seemingly reading it to her:
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
It's weird who you fall for, even when you don't realize it. You think that you'll know when you're in love, that your heart will hit you upside the head to tell you, 'Hey, bub, you're in love', but you don't. Usually, you just don't understand it until it's too late.
I met her on the train ride to my school, Hogwarts- a School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in my first year. My newest and only friend at the time, Ron Weasley, was attempting to show me magic by turning his lazy, good-for-nothing rat yellow (with a spell his older twin brothers gave him) when she had poked her head into our car, asking us if we had seen a loose toad that belonged to Neville Longbottom, another hopeless student like myself. We shook our heads no, replying with the same answer, apologizing for our worthlessness. Cockily almost, when seeing that my new friend was making a try at magic, she stood in the doorway to watch Ron's spell fail miserably. The girl shared her opinion that the spell must have been fake, all because she had used so many others from the Standard Book of Spells and they had worked.
She sat in front of me, allowing me to see her beauty more clearly, pointing her wand at my face. I was scared out of my mind. It was never a good sign to have a wand pointing at your head the first day you spend in a wizard community. The next thing I knew, my glasses were fixed, the same ones my cousin spent his time breaking as he chased me around and used me as a punching bag.
She introduced herself as Hermione Granger. At the time, I had thought that the lump that had formed inside my throat had been from seeing magic for the first time ever. To tell the truth, that had only fascinated me for a moment. It had been her that I gazed at so awed and amazed for most of the trip, never once stopping to think of something or someone else.
I admit it. It had been the bushy haired eleven year-old that had made me mute, my knees weak, my throat dry, for that small amount of time. Nothing else seemed to compare with her. Not the magic. Not the train. Nothing. I now knew how it felt to have a crush on someone for the first time in my life.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hermione stared at the page with wide eyes, her hands beginning to tremble as she read. He had a crush on her? Her? Of all the other girls in Hogwarts that fawned over him? How could he? She thought that he had hated her back then because both he and Ron had teased her on a regular basis for being a know-it-all.
I'd start with chapter one, love innocent and young
As the morning sun on a new day
She continued to read on, her heart pounding excitedly in her chest.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I tried numerous times to make my feelings go away by joining in on Ron's teasing, but that had made her cry, which evidently made me hurt too. My chest hurt so much from watching her try to hide her tears from us. I had stopped moments after it begun, knowing that I didn't want to be that kind of man who got off on teasing and hurting others, and I only hoped that my friend would copy my example. He didn't though, which angered me when that had lead to a large problem concerning an on-the-loose troll inside the castle
Somehow, my red haired companion and I defeated the fiend. I don't know how, but we seemed to have a lot of luck on our side.
I seemed to like her even more when she stuck up for Ron and me, saying that her being attacked by the giant, ugly monster was entirely her fault. I felt horrible for all of what had happened to her. It had been our fault, not hers. She hadn't led the troll inside the girl's bathroom. We had placed her in there with our dumb mockery and the monster had been stupid enough to go inside to wreak havoc.
Merlin, if anything had happened to her, I know that I wouldn't have become who I am now. I would have cursed Ron to his death if she had gotten hurt. No body knows how much I still blame myself, how many times I think of the what-ifs and thank God that nothing has happened to her.
I have to thank her for all she has done for me. If it weren't for her, I would be just like Draco Malfoy, my own worst enemy, which is a prospect I have been trying to run from for years on end.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hermione clutched the fabric of her ivory colored blouse where her heart was within her chest. She had just realized what her best friend's best-seller book was about- his crush on her.
"Mione?" a familiar yet dream-haunting voice called her from her mutely minded state, causing her eyes to look up at the tall, emerald eyed man who she had run from a while back. "Is that you?" he asked in his surprise. There was a small pause before he had noticed what was so tightly gripped in her silky fingers, as if she had been caught taking cookies out of the cookie jar. "Oh, you're… reading that", his usually strong voice cracked. "What do you think?"
She stood silently, staring at neither him nor the book. Memories flashed before her eyes, reminding her of their past, of why she had left that day long ago. "It's… It's, um…"
"Not what you'd expect me writing", he finished for her. "Is it that bad?" She shook her head, refusing to look at him. "Were you surprised that I count my life beginning the first moment I met you?" Her frizzy head bobbed up and down in a nod. "That's only because it's true, 'Mione. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have called it non-fiction."
Even though I know the end, well I'd do it all again
'Cause I got a lifetime in, while you loved me
"'Mione?"
"Please, Harry", she pleaded softly to him. "Don't say anything. I don't need this." She put the book down, beginning to walk away with what she hoped was her pride.
"Just do me one small favor. Please, Hermione." Slowly, she finally gazed into his emerald eyes, seeing the hope and hurt within them. Her heart wrenched at the pitiful sight of him, hoping and pleading for her to listen to him. He held out his book to her, turning it to the last page. "Read the last paragraph. Please. I'll leave you alone if you do that."
Truthfully, she hadn't wanted him to leave. She just didn't want to talk about that day, and here he was, forcing the memories to surface in her mind.
She grabbed for the book and searched for the last paragraph, trying hard not to blush at his sight. Sadly enough, she knew that her face was already red- whether from partial anger or being near him after so long. She continued to read.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I can still remember the feeling of her confession on my lips, and I can only help but wonder how I had missed her feelings for me until now. I've been blind. For such a long time, I've been blind, but only by my own longing to have her with me at all times.
As corny as this probably sounds, I do love her, and I would do anything just to repeat it all, including You-Know-Who's reign, just so I could be with her again. I'd change nothing about us. Not the way I acted or should have. Nothing. All that I want is for just for one more day of feeling her presence nearby. It's a strange wish, I know, but I love her more than she knows.
I love you, Hermione. Where ever you go, whatever you do, I will love you. Forever and a day, Hermione Granger, the smartest witch to ever go to Hogwarts, my closest friend since the beginning of my life as a wizard and as a soul, will have my heart.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
She stared up at him in shock, not sure what to say to him about his open admittance to the entire wizarding world. He had done this, just so she would see his true feelings for her.
"Well?" he questioned hopefully, taking one small step forward, eyes glittering with evident anticipation.
I was born the day you kissed me
And I died inside the night you left me
But I lived, oh how I lived
(I lived) While you loved me
"I- I- Harry, I-"
"Please, tell me that you still love me." His hands grasped her shoulders lightly. "I didn't know how I felt for you, not wholly, until you kissed me that night and confessed everything. What I thought was a crush was more, Hermione." He let go of her shoulders, backing away from her as he stared at her tear-filled eyes. "I still love you. I always have and will. The day you left, although what I felt inside from you helped me win the bloody war, my willingness to survive without you by my side diminished. Ask Ron, if you want. I've wanted to find you forever." His voice was barely a whisper as he held down his fear that she'd run away, or decline his feelings, or tell him that she was getting married next week.
"Harry, I-" She clutched his shirt as she walked up to him, tears beginning to soak through the navy blue button-down dress shirt he wore. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you."
I was born the day you kissed me
And I died inside the night you left me
But I lived, oh how I lived
(I lived) While you loved me
Her words brought him tears. She had rejected him? He held her shaking body to him, not knowing what else to do other than be a friend to his one true love. The stinging pain in his chest was almost enough to make him cry, but he had not been able to cry for his parents' loss.
"I loved you too much to put you in danger because of me", the crying woman sobbed. "I didn't want our friendship to die because of my feelings. I kissed you that day because I didn't want to hide it anymore, but I was afraid that everything we'd built would be destroyed so I left. I'm so sorry that I hurt you, Harry. I really am." He only held her tighter, listening to her explanation, unsure of what else to do that didn't include running away and crying his eyes out. "I've never forgotten how I felt for you, though", Hermione whispered, looking up to her best friend's surprised emerald orbs. "I felt my heart die the moment I left you, Harry", she murmured as she got up onto her toes, their faces inches apart.
"You got my life to begin that day", he told her in a hushed voice. "My soul left my body the night you ran off. I'm so sorry for not noticing earlier how you felt towards me, back then." He leaned down slightly. "Do I still have a chance?" he asked, feeling their noses touch warmly.
"You always have, Harry."
I was born the day you kissed me
And I died inside the night you left me
But I lived, oh how I lived
(I lived) While you loved me
Finally, their lips met, sparks seemingly flying everywhere. It wasn't until they parted that it wasn't the romantic sparks both thought- it had been camera flashes. Reporters had surrounded them from all sides, questions spouting from all their mouths at once.
"Miss Granger, how long exactly have you loved him?" "Potter, in your exact words, explain how you feel for her." "Mister Potter, had the aforesaid moment of Miss Granger's confession to you gone father then said in your novel?" Hermione could only blush at the questions, knowing how their innocent ways kept getting more intimate as seconds would pass. By the time someone had asked if they had done "it", her face was beet red.
"Guys, Miss Granger and I have an appointment that we must attend to at this moment. I am serious, guys."
She smiled. He was going to the Black house.
And so was she.
The two newly discovered lovers looked at each other, smiles gracing their lips, and then apprated to the place where they would show each other the love they had kept from each other for as long as they could remember…