Chapter 1. where you lead

"You shouldn't do this after all this time, you don't understand."

"Maybe I don't understand. But I can and I will do this now," she said quietly but firmly. "I must." With a look of determination, she pushed passed him out the door into the winter's night.

Taking a few steps she finally stopped in her tracks. Abruptly, she turned around and stared at the door she had just walked out of. Nothing. She waited. Still nothing, he wouldn't come after her. Part of her wanted him to try and fight her on his, but she knew he was only putting up a fight out of some sense of obligation, decency or some honorable shit like that. They both knew she was going to do this whether or not he approved.

Haley James wrapped her arms around her tired body. Slowly she made her way to her car. Sitting there for what seemed like eternity, she finally inserted her keys into the engine and drove to her destination.

"You didn't stop her? How could you not?" screamed a frantic Brooke through the phone.

"I-I- what does it matter, Brooke? She would have gone anyway!" Lucas yelled back.

"And how would you know?" she argued back forcefully" Surely if she knew he was happy, she would back off for his own good," her voice sadden by her own words. "For her own good, really."

"You can deny her this Brooke, you can't," he pleaded. "Just let her do this."

"And what? Watch her run herself into the ground, mess her up even worse," she fought his reasoning. "God, you know he's not going ruin everything he's built with Cait just because Haley is still in love with him. He's moved on, he doesn't love Haley anymore..."

"You're wrong."

"Excuse me?" she replied, taken aback by his fervor.

"He loves Haley."

"Oh Lucas, of course he does. Despite everything, she was his first love. He will always feel for her, but that's not going to stop him from being with the one he's in love with now. He's going to ask Cait to marry him, he wouldn't if he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with her."

"He's settling Brooke." he stated matter-of-factly, refusing to back down. "I know him, he's my best friend and Haley's my best friend."

"That's exactly why you're wrong in all this. You're so blinded for your love for them you can't see that this is all wrong. I know you want Haley to be happy, but she will be on her own time. But don't ruin this for Nathan. He may be your best friend, but he's my brother and I--"

"You what?" he challenged angrily, not hesitating to cut her off. "You may be his sister, but I'm the one he comes to with his doubts, his fears, his real feelings. And I know Nathan, and I know for a fact he's not in love with Cait. And besides, it's Hales..."

"Okay, so say you're right and he's still in love with Haley. What about Cait? He's just not going to abandon her Lucas. Even if he is settling, even if it is Haley, it's hard for me to see him backing down from this. She can't change his mind."

"She has to at least try. She wouldn't be Haley if she didn't." Lucas knew he was right and the silence on the other end of the line affirmed his thoughts that Brooke knew he was right too.

Hesitantly Haley brought her hand up to knock on the large oak door. The vastness of the house that stood before her signified her feelings of apprehension. However, the feeling in her heart outweighed her anxiousness. It would be over soon and it would either make her or crush her, depending on what fate had in store for her.

After minutes of waiting there was still no answer. She knocked again, louder. Nothing. She looked to her right only to have the emptiness of the familiar driveway consume her vision. He wasn't home. If he was, his car would be there. Haley smiled as memories came pouring back to her. They were often parked out there, enjoying each other's company in more ways than one.

"Mmmm, let's stay like this always." Haley grabbed for Nathan's face, her thumbs softly caressing his cheeks as she lovingly placed chaste kisses across his face. There was no where she'd rather be than there with him, his arms wrapped around her waist tightly as her own legs were wrapped around his middle. Granted they were crowed in his truck, she could care less, as long as she was with him.

"We could--" Nathan smiled against her lips. "Or we could take this somewhere more inviting, like say...my big comfy bed?"

She giggled wrapping her arms securely around his neck. "It's only comfy when I'm in it."

"You know it baby." Before she knew it his hands were under her cardigan, tracing a path from around her waist up her sides. Carefully minding each and every space on her body, his hands travelled upward finally resting atop her bra covered breasts. "I have to see you, all of you." She gasped at his touch as his fingers wandered beneath the material of her bra. "Let's get out of here, yeah?"

"Wherever, whenever. I'll follow you forever, Nathan."

"Promise?" he whispered, his face lighting up at the thought of being with her here, now, forever.

Haley pulled her face back a little so she could see his face, making sure he knew that she meant every word. "I swear it." Her eyes poured into his as the words left her lips promising him forever.

Sighing painfully, she let herself lean against the door, sliding to the ground. Of all the idiotic things to do this was by far the most impulsive and insane things she had ever attempted. "What am I doing?" she let out desperately into the air. Burying her head in her hands she started to laugh, hysterically. Tears escaped her eyes as her laugh transformed into sobs. After all this time of managing to only shed one or two tears over him--three on a really bad day, she finally lost it. Suddenly she couldn't fight them, they were unstoppable. Haley James had finally and completely lost it, knowing that once again this was one place she couldn't follow.

------

Like a long lonely stream

I keep runnin' towards a dream