I was on my first Order mission with Tonks. We had been assigned to patrol some Muggle neighborhood that someone said they had seen old followers of You-Know-Who. Nothing interesting had happened so far, so we sat atop a picnic table at the park and talked for a while.
"I remember I dated a guy who had really bad taste in cologne. It was like every time he came too close, I had to hold my breath." Tonks said, laughing.
"That must have been horrible!" I said, wrinkling my nose. "I mostly dated younger guys when at Hogwarts…I haven't really been dating since then."
"Yeesh. And how many years is that?" Tonks asked. I blushed.
"Well, I did have a date with this one man last week, but we didn't go past one date…my mother sent me a Howler about it." I said, rolling my eyes. "She said 'John was magnifique gentleman and you need 'usband!' And she sent it while I was at work." Tonks laughed and then cringed.
"Oh, I would die of embarrassment if that happened to me! So your mother really wants grandchildren!" Tonks teased. I turned red.
"Well…she won't be getting any in this lifetime." I said. An owl landed between us and Tonks took the note from its beak and read it.
"I guess it's time to head back now." Tonks said.
"Thank goodness."
-
"Sirius, do I even want to know why you have stuff in your study that looks like…well…stuff a porn star would use?" I asked. Sirius shrugged.
"Ask Remus, he's the one with the bad 70's pornstache." He replied casually. Remus blinked in surprise and looked up from the book he was reading to glare and I had to duck out of the room and only return when I had stopped laughing.
"So," I said upon my return "Are there any good books in here or are they all dark?" Sirius shrugged.
"I was never one for reading…Remus probably already read through the whole lot by now." He said.
"Yes, for instance '101 Recipes with Minced Dog Meat' is very interesting." Remus said coolly. For some reason unknown to me, Sirius seemed to stop poking fun at Remus after that comment.
"Erm…I hear Buckbeak scuttling around up there…excuse me." Sirius ducked out of the room leaving me and Remus.
"What book is that?" I asked.
"It's called 'How to Tell If Your Friend is a Werewolf.' One suggestion is to play loud polka music while showering the werewolf with moldy shredded cheese."
"Does it specify what type of cheese?" I asked. He paused for a moment to check.
"No, actually." He said, raising his eyebrows.
"Ah. What if one type of cheese doesn't work? Maybe it's not moldy enough? And what if the werewolf happens to like polka?" I wondered aloud. Remus grinned.
"Then I guess you're just stuck with bad music, stale cheese…and a scruffy old werewolf." Remus said. "Then again, they might not even be a werewolf, and you find you're just harassing an innocent person." I laughed.
"Well…do you have any moldy shredded cheese handy?" I asked earnestly. He looked up.
"Why? Shall I put on an old polka record and shower you with cheese?" He said, sounding amused.
"Ah…well, if someone were to suddenly walk in, I think it would look very awkward." I said, smiling. I saw Remus suddenly turn a slight tinge of pink and he seemed too shy to meet my eyes for the rest of the night.