AN: Well. The plot thickens, and yet, we still haven't gotten to the first task. Lol. Sorry about the size of this chapter. There is a sex scene in there somewhere that I had to cut out. Harry and Hermione discuss a few things during it, but it isn't plot sensitive yet, so I think it will be ok that I just cut it out. In other news, portkey, the harry/Hermione web page told me that my story is OOC for a Harry/Hermione relationship, and refused to allow me to post my story on their web page. Now that isn't that bad, ok, I can accept this… Until I looked through their site and there is a GOD DAMNED STORY ABOUT HARRY POTTER BEING A FUCKING PREDATOR! What? YES! Fucking Harry Potter, as a god damn predator and he is a fucking martial arts master and can do any spells in the galaxy and shit. Fuck you portkey, no offense Flemengo, the guy who wrote that fanfiction… but seriously, if they will accept a fucking story about Harry being a Predator, why can't he be a pimp?
If you have a portkey account, please complain for me. Any one who likes this story, I would appreciate it if you gave a piece of your mind to the portkey people and their webpage so that we can get this story out to a wider audience. Seriously, I'm working hard on this, and they fucking sent me links to "how to write better fanfiction" and told me I should fucking try harder next time… they didn't even have the courtesy to spell all the words in their letter correctly or even use punctuation. Fuck you portkey, you bastards. Their page is portkey-org. The dash is a period.
Thanks to all my reviewers, sorry I haven't gotten to the first task yet, but we needed Ron and Krum to make another appearance first.
"I accept this as well. It is our kind's law." Rupert nodded before flickering his tongue over one of Tsarina's scales. "I do not fear for your safety."
Hermione and Neville were very surprised when they entered Harry's dorm. It was completely empty, and they had not seen Harry at lunch.
"Where the hell is he?" Neville asked as he looked under the bed. "It's not like… well… yes it is like Harry to do some kind of stuff like this."
"I don't know. I can't believe him sometimes." Hermione huffed as she opened his closet. "You in there Harry?" She called before shutting the door.
"I guess we should start on our homework, and wait for him." Neville shrugged as he sat down at a corner of Harry's coffee table. "I have Herbology essays to work on."
"I have to begin my report on Dragons." Hermione stated happily. "I think I can do a good twelve pages. She only asked for four, but obviously, four pages is not enough space to really explore as much as I would like."
"Obviously." Neville laughed as he opened his satchel. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure!" Hermione smiled as she began to scratch at a piece of parchment, working from memory. "What do you need help with?"
"Can you help me with figuring out how to talk to the Patil twins?" Neville blushed as he withdrew his herbology books. "You know, since you are a girl and all…"
"I can try." Hermione replied. "What do they like?"
"Uhmm…"
"What do they like to do may be?"
"Uhhhh…."
"Neville, what do you know about the Patils?"
"They liked my Bob Marley shirt."
"Well that is a start." Hermione chuckled as she began rummaging through her bag for her books. "Talk to them about your shirt then."
"You think?" Neville inquired.
"Then go from there of course." Hermione smiled.
"GENIUS!" Neville grinned as he went back to working on his essay. "Pure Genius."
"Thanks. I think." Hermione laughed before drifting into small talk with Neville, neither comfortable with being silent as they worked.
It was almost forty-five minutes before Harry drug himself through the entrance to his dorm, his face and robes caked in dirt, he looked a mess. "Hey guys." He smiled as Hermione and Neville stood in unison.
"HARRY! You had us worried sick! AGAIN!" Hermione pouted as she moved to hug him.
"Don't." Harry spoke softly as he placed a hand out. "It ain't that I don't want you to hold me, but I'm filthy." He smiled as Hermione gave him a hurt look.
"Where were you?" Neville asked as he sniffed the air. "You stink man."
"You don't want to know." Harry laughed. "But I'm straight now. You know we be facin dragons for the first task right?"
"So it is true!" Hermione practically shouted as she threw her hands in the air. "This is insane, you can't fight a dragon!" She pleaded as Harry simply grinned at her. "What is so funny?"
"I'm straight girl. That dragon ain't gonna have shit on me. You know we dark wizards always got a little sumthin' sumthin' up our sleeves." Harry laughed as he sat on the couch. "Ugh. I do stink." He grimaced as he sniffed at his raised arm.
"Harry. You are not a dark wizard." Hermione scowled as she tapped her foot impatiently. "I expect you to study with me. I don't care what kind of plan you have, you are not going into this tournament without several back up plans."
"Girl. It's all good in the hood." Harry smiled, but his face dropped as Hermione began to sniffle.
"Harry… This is serious. Please? For me? It would make me feel better if we worked together." Hermione pleaded as Neville busied himself in his books, pretending not to be there.
"A'ight girl. I'm down for you, and if it will ease yo' heart, you tell me what you want me to do, and we do it." Harry spoke softly before smiling roguishly. "Of course, I need a shower before I can work. There be this problem though, my leg is too weak, and I think I need someone to help me shower." Harry sighed sadly, his eyes twinkling.
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed as she looked down at Neville. "We have company!"
"Neville is a G, you don't mind, do you?" Harry inquired as he began to stand.
"I'm not even here." Neville smiled. "If any one needs a shower, it is you. You're killing me with your scent."
"See. Majority… demands? No… Says…?"
"Majority Rules?" Hermione smirked.
"THAT'S IT! C'mon girl, and let's get naked." Harry grinned as he began to limp towards the bathroom, his leg shaking under the weight.
"Oh God." Hermione giggled as she followed Harry into the room. "Thanks Neville."
Neville simply answered by waving a hand at the pair as he went back to working on his essay.
"Ugh. I'm sore." Harry complained as he shrugged out of his robes, kicking them into a pile in the corner of the room. "I want to shower, fuck, eat, and sleep."
"That sounds like you." Hermione snickered as she reached into a cabinet to withdraw two towels. "That sounds like any one… really."
"Yea girl." Harry smiled as he moved his hips in circles, his piece flopping about.
"What are you doing?" Hermione laughed.
"Warmin him up." Harry grinned as he stepped closer to Hermione.
"Isn't that my job?"
"I like that."
Hermione couldn't help but giggle as Harry began to undress her. His fingers skittering over her body like spiders as he quickly popped buttons and pulled on zippers. "That was fast." She breathed, as she stood before him in only her panties.
"Yo' man is in heat." He smiled as Hermione closed the distance between their bodies, his member pressing against her stomach.
"As am I." Hermione giggled into his mouth as their lips crushed together. "I have been wanting this for a while now."
"Just come at me girl, when you frisky." Harry spoke as he reached into the shower to twist the water levers, allowing the shower to come up to temperature before they entered it.
"Oh Harry." Hermione groaned as he leaned down to nibble up and down her throat, his teeth pinching softly upon her skin. "Let's get in the shower."
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! SEX! No cheesecake for Harry though, sorry (
"That… is what I have needed." Hermione smiled as she ran a hand down Harry's wet chest.
"Me too." He smiled as he scrubbed soap into his hair. "Then we can go get dinner."
"Yes, then we can go get dinner." Hermione huffed as Harry laughed.
"Hey Nev?" Harry grinned as he opened the door, noticing quickly that Neville was currently reading with his fingers in his ears. "Neville!"
"WHAT?" Neville yelped as he spun around to face the door. "You guys done?"
"Yea, we is." Harry grinned as he ran his fingers through his wet hair. "I needed that. Thanks for being cool man."
Neville simply shrugged in reply as he gave a reassuring smile to Harry. "Might as well let you have some fun before you have to fight a dragon. Do you know what kind it is?"
"Horngarian… tail… something." Harry replied as he stumbled with the words.
"Hungarian horntail?" Hermione shrieked from within the bathroom before throwing the door open fully. "YOU are fighting a Hungarian horntail?"
"Yea, that is what Hagrid told me." Harry nodded. "I met her, she's a big mean muther fucker who spits fire and shit. That's how I got my hair cut." Harry laughed as he pointed at his damaged hair.
"She?" Hermione questioned. "As in a female Hungarian horntail?"
"Yea. I don't actually have to fight her. I gotta steal one of her eggs."
"OH MY GOD." Hermione yelped as her eyes snapped open widely. "Is that all? Just steal an egg from a fully grown Horntail mother?"
"Yep."
"HARRY! That is insane!" Hermione growled as she grabbed onto his t-shirt with her fingertips. "You HAVE to study. Right now! You don't have much time left… and God, I thought I lost you once Harry… Why do you have to do this to me?"
"Baby. It's all good. Just relax." Harry chuckled as Hermione mumbled spells and jinxes under her breath, berating herself between each one.
"How can you say that Harry? They are going to make you fight a dragon and who knows what else. You can barely walk, let alone run around and steal eggs." Hermione gushed as she worried her lip.
"Pimps don't have to run." Harry replied indignantly. "I ain't never saw Silver run from nothin', and I ain't about to neither."
"Harry…" Hermione sighed as she clasped her hands together. "For me?"
"Just show me them books, after we eat, and I'll work on it. For you." Harry smiled softly. "Damn, girl got my ass doin all sorts of things."
"I want a girl… or two." Neville spoke sadly as he watched on. "I would do things for a girlfriend too."
"Bob Marley." Hermione smiled as she turned to Neville. "Just talk to them about Bob Marley."
Harry was burned out. His brain hurt, and he was cranky. He had never studied so much in his life, and Hermione was still spending all of her time discussing dragons with him. He was thankful when she finally decided to head to the library, as Harry was finally given time to breath and relax, since he had decided to sit outside of the library for a bit to rest
"Is every thing all right Harry?" Dumbledore had asked when he had found him sitting on the floor leaned up against the wall outside of the library. He hated the library, but he still wanted to be close to his Hermione.
"I'm fine. Just taking a break from Hermione." Harry laughed as Dumbledore summoned a lawn chair and sat in front of him.
"Are you two having a problem?"
"No. She just worried. She don't know that I never walk in a place without knowin how to walk out. Feel me?" Harry smiled as Dumbledore nodded.
"Word." Dumbledore replied as he reached into a pocket. "Can I interest you in a bomb ass lemon drop?"
"Don't mind if I do." Harry chuckled as he took the treat.
"Is there any thing I could do to help you Harry?" Dumbledore inquired as he too popped a small treat into his mouth.
"Actually. I was wondering if I could schedule a chance to hit up some stores. I need to buy some stuff… I know you know what I'm talking bout." Harry smiled softly, an almost boyish look passing over his features.
"I have a feeling I do. It has been brought to my attention that you will be having visitors for your second task, how would it sound to you if I allowed them to accompany you on your shopping appointment?" Dumbledore smiled as Harry perked up.
"Sirius and Remus are going to come see me?" Harry laughed as he eyed Dumbledore appraisingly.
"As are your female friends. A portkey will be arranged for their travel comfort." Dumbledore continued as he leaned back in his chair. "They are all desperate to see you, after it was published in the newspaper that you would be competing."
"Wow. I didn't think it was such a big deal." Harry spoke as his eyebrows scrunched. "Well, I got a plan, so the first task is in the bag."
"Do you?" Dumbledore inquired. "Has Ms. Granger been of much help?"
"Well, the brains of the operation helped me with some contingency plans, but I got the main attack down my self." Harry beamed. "She trippin cuz she scared, but I'm gonna flip it on em. The dragon ain't gonna know what hit it, when I hiss it."
"That sounds, interesting. May I hear what your plan is?" Dumbledore inquired as he made eye contact with Harry, a look of surprise passing over his features for only a moment. "If you wouldn't mind telling me of course."
"It's a secret." Harry smiled. "Don't fret none, I ain't gonna kill it or nothing." Harry explained quickly as he continued to speak.
"Well, I trust you to be careful in your endeavors. Good luck, flippin it on 'em." Dumbledore grinned wildly as he stood, his chair disappearing. "I do believe we will have much to speak about after you have finished the task."
"We just may." Harry chuckled as he drew himself up off the floor. "I guess I'm gonna go check on Hermione. She probably wants to grill ma ass on dragon herding spells again."
"Well, good luck with that." Dumbledore stated as he waved at Harry.
"Peace." Harry spoke as he turned to open the door and enter the library.
"Harry Potter." Madam Pince, the school librarian huffed as he entered the room. "I expect you to behave today."
"Any thing for the book lady." Harry grinned as he began to walk towards the back of the library. "I'm just gonna kick it with Hermione."
"Please don't kick any thing in my library." Irma Pince sighed as she watched Harry limp his way to Hermione's usual reading area. "I truly hope that girl straightens him out."
Harry growled as he spotted Victor Krum and Ronald Weasely sitting next to Hermione, their backs facing him. He reflexively reached for his handgun as he trudged forward, his mind screaming in disappointment as his fingertips grasped only air.
"- And every thing would be all right, if you only listened to us." Ron grinned at Hermione as he reached towards her face.
"Don't let your mouth cut a check yo' ass can't cash Weasley." Harry growled as he walked up behind the trio.
"Harry!" Hermione jumped as she twirled in her seat. "Thank Merlin!"
"Yes Harry. We are so glad you are here." Victor laughed as he twisted in his seat and crossed his legs. "What would we do with out you?"
"Yea." Ron snickered as he looked at Krum, his courage bolstered by the presence of the much larger man.
"What are you fuck wad wankstas doing with my girl?" Harry growled as Hermione held him around the waist, having pressed her chair backwards and scrambled for him moments before.
"Your girl?" Krum laughed, garnering a hiss of silence from Madam Pince some where in the room.
"Yes, my girl, you deaf German hitler muther fucker." Harry spat, his voice held low but filled with malice.
"I am Bulgarian, not German." Krum spoke, his eyes drawn into slits, obviously offended.
"Oh! Even worse, that makes you a faggot." Harry snickered as Hermione pulled herself back from Harry's chest enough to look at his face, her eyes wide.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Krum practically exploded as he stood from his seat. "What did you call me?" He continued in a much lower tone, as Madam Pince had admonished him once again.
"You heard me you broom stick straddlin', quidditch playin, ain't even good enough to be German, dick suckin mother fucker." Harry whispered quickly, as he dug his fingers into Hermione's ribs, pressing her behind him.
"Harry… please… don't do this." Hermione begged as she pressed her forehead into the middle of his back. "I don't want you to do this. Please do what is right?"
"Kick his ass Krum." Ron grinned as the two boys eyed each other dangerously. "Break his other leg." He laughed as a vein began to appear over Harry's right eye.
"Stay the fuck away from Hermione." Harry spoke levelly, his emerald green eyes practically glowing red with passion. "Or I'll bust a cap in yo' ass and dump you in the lake."
"I am a quidditch star." Krum whispered as he stood nose to nose with Harry. "They would put you in Azkaban so fast you would be surprised."
Harry snorted at Krum's comment as his eyebrow raised. "I would be surprised?" He laughed lightly as he shook his head. "Muther fucker. I own the wizarding world. I own the muggle world. I own you. I'm like MC Hammer, you can't touch me."
"Obviously that isn't entirely true." Ron snorted as he gave a pointed look at Harry's leg.
"My respect for Dumbledore ain't gonna hold out forever Ron." Harry spat as he continued to stare daggers at Krum. "You got a fine family, but you a bad apple, and I'm gonna have to learn yo' ass."
"Fuck you." Ron spat as he leaned back in his chair.
"You wouldn't want this dick Ron." Harry smirked as he grabbed at his groin. "Id tear you open and dump yo' intestines on the floor."
"That's disgusting." Krum grimaced as he stepped backwards. "You filthy, disgusting, racist bastard."
"Hey." Harry whispered indignantly. "I ain't racist, I just don't like you or the Frenchie, but filthy and disgusting I can flow with."
Madam Pince had finally had enough; breathing heavily she stomped over to where Harry and the rest of the students were. She was surprised at the number of heads huddled around the group, obviously expecting something to happen.
"You two!" Madam Pince scowled as she walked up to the group, her fingers trained on Ron and Krum. "Out of my library, I could hear you at my desk."
"What?" Ron shouted in protest. "What about Harry and Hermione then?"
"I couldn't hear them across the library. Both of you out, and let the rest of the students work in peace." Pince shouted as she drew her wand. "NOW."
"I will be… how do you say? Gunning for you." Krum spoke dangerously as he passed Harry.
"Me too. Asshole." Ron spat, but was quickly silenced as Pince removed thirty points from Gryffindor.
"Mr. Potter?" Madam Pince called as Harry gave her his attention.
"Yes Book Lady?"
"Thirty-five points to Gryffindor for not physically assaulting the two annoying pricks." She smirked as Harry's jaw dropped, right along side Hermione's and the rest of the students within earshot. "Keep up the good work. Thank you for helping to control the boy Hermione." She continued as she gave a pointed smile at the flabbergasted girl.
"Yes Madam Pince." Hermione nodded before turning to Harry, her mouth curling into a proud smile. "Good boy." She grinned at Harry as she scratched behind his ear.
"You know me, always out to please a girl." Harry smirked as they took seats next to each other.
"I need to tell you something." Hermione whispered as Harry gave her a worried look. "It's about Ron and Krum." She continued, as she watched Harry's eyes cloud over with hate.
"They touch you?" He whispered quickly as sweat began to bead upon his brow.
"No… no…" Hermione assured him as she gave an involuntary shudder. "They told me something Harry. I need to tell you."
"Just tell me girl." Harry growled as he moved closer to Hermione.
Harry practically threw the door to the Gryffindor common room open as he charged inside, his eyes wild. "Where is Ron?" He shouted at a second year as the boy shook with fear. "The red headed tall muther fucker!" He screamed as the boy was reduced to tears.
"Harry? What's wrong?" Neville asked as he stood up from a seat by the fire, the Patil twins standing with him. "Is every thing ok?"
"Where the fuck is Ron?" Harry practically screamed as his hands shook. "I'm gonna blast the muther fucker." Harry shouted as he drew his wand, the tip spurting green sparks as his eyes flickered red.
"Harry… Relax man. Every thing is going to be ok. What happened?" Neville spoke softly as he reached out to place a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Is Hermione all right?"
"She fine." Harry confirmed as he placed a hand over his face, his chest stretching as he began to take deep breaths to calm him self. "The jealous son of a bitch has been threatening my girl Nev." Harry spoke slowly, his body shaking. "I'm gonna kill him man. I'm gonna put my god damn wand in his eye, and blow a hole through his fucking skull."
"That would be messy." Neville spoke as he stroked his chin with his fingertips. "May be you wouldn't want to do that. You could get in trouble for that."
The two Patil twins shared a glance before making their exit. Soft murmurs of good-bye were spoken between Neville and the pair before they moved towards the exit, obviously not wanting to interfere with Neville's ability to relax Harry.
"Shit man. I'm sorry." Harry sighed as he watched the two girls exit. "Fuck man, I just fucked it up for you didn't I?"
"Actually, you saved my ass." Neville laughed as he walked next to Harry, patting him on the back as he guided him out of the room. "We was about to go smoke, and I haven't ever smoked before." Neville blushed as he gave Harry a look. "May be you can teach me how it's done?"
"Yea. That sounds like a good idea." Harry agreed as they began to steer their steps towards the Room of Requirement. "Let's roll up a couple of zigzags, and get blown."
"Sounds good to me." Neville laughed as they entered the room.
"Wait." Harry stopped. "I told Hermione I was going to go to the bathroom. She is going to be worried sick." Harry sighed as he turned around.
"Here." Neville spoke as he stopped Harry. "Watch." Neville then moved his wand as a bird appeared in the air, the translucent pigeon spiraling through the air towards the library. "The note says you are with me, and cooling off. She will be fine." Neville smiled.
"Send another one to Luna and Ginny." Harry commanded. "Tell them to stay with her, and not to leave her alone."
"All right." Neville smiled softly as he conjured two more birds. "Now, how about we become one with the universe?"
"Sounds great."
20 minutes later-
"So then I was like… look bitches, I want you're asses." Neville snickered as Harry guffawed.
"What the hell?" Harry laughed as he gripped the large blunt between his fingertips. "Really, what did you do?" He continued as he lifted the cigarillo to his lips and sparked it with a lighter.
"I just started talking to them, and then I told them that I wanted to smoke with them." Neville shrugged. "Then they agreed, and I was like… oh shit… Because I didn't know what to do from there."
"Well, now you do." Harry laughed.
"I guess I do, huh? Thanks!"
"No problem man." Harry smiled before bursting into laughter again, both of them choking on the fumes from their blunts.
"So do you feel better?" Neville questioned Harry.
"Not really. I don't know actually. I'm still ready to yank that boy up and whup his ass." Harry sighed.
"Well, I can always challenge him to a wizards duel for you. I can be your second." Neville smiled, "Not many people would help Ron. You know that."
"Actually, Ron and Victor Krum are a team now." Harry laughed mirthlessly. "I'm pretty sure Krum would be scrappin' for him."
"Well, there's only one way to find out." Neville continued. "Just don't do anything rash all right? Just remember Hermione. I'll perform the challenge, and we will kick their asses. Then they will have to leave you alone, or loose honor. Ok?"
"I don't think they have any honor."
"It's magick Harry." Neville winked as they went back to smoking.
Harry Potter was not easily amazed. He had seen enough things in his short life not to be surprised very often. Sure, a sixty-five foot snake gave him a start, and he refuses to get on a broomstick, but Harry was truly impressed when Neville banished the smell of the cannabis they had been smoking. He may have been easier to impress at that moment, because he was currently high as a fucking kite.
Eventually Harry and Neville made their way back to their dorms, thankfully without any further incident then Snape scowling at them as they attempted to walk past him as seriously as possible, which ended in Neville tripping and falling on his face and Harry bursting into laughter.
Neville awoke early the next day. He was prepared to challenge Ron to a wizards duel. He had to be public about it enough that Ron accepted, but he also had to be sure that Hermione didn't find out until it was too late for either party to back out. "The wicked web I weave." Neville laughed to himself as he awaited Ronald's appearance.
It had been over an hour, and students were slowly trickling down from their dorms as Neville fidgeted with his wand. He continued to churn the words over in his head, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say, and how. He knew that this fight wasn't just to placate Harry, or protect Hermione. This was going to be a throw down, to decide who really controlled Hogwarts.
It was another eight minutes when Ron's voice could be heard coming down the stairs from their dorm, and Hermione still hadn't shown up yet, Neville hoped she had slept with Harry that evening.
"Ronald Weasley!" Neville shouted as Ron crested into the room from within the stair well. "I am hereby formally challenging you to a Wizards duel, of the non fatal sorts. My second is Harry Potter, who is your second?"
"What?" Ron laughed uneasily as he stared at Neville. "You are challenging me to a duel?"
"Who is your second?" Neville pressed as his jaw clenched, prepared to begin the duel now if Ron refused to abide by the rules.
"Victor Krum. When is the duel?" Ron spoke, his bravery bolstered by the presence of several female students making their way down the stairs.
"We will settle our differences on the Monday after the first task. Both competitors will be allowed one day to rest before we battle." Neville continued, thankful that he hadn't stumbled on any words. He was pretty sure he looked like he knew what he was doing. "The place where the duel will be held will be announced after the first task. If we win, you are to desist with you're attempted courting of Ms. Hermione Granger."
"What if I win then? Then what?" Ron smirked as he strode over to Neville.
"Harry would die before he let you win." Neville growled low. "So would I."
"Well, we may just have to arrange that. Won't we?" Ron whispered back, an evil smile tugging at his lips. "If I win." Ron spoke louder now, his voice returning to its normal tenor. "Harry Potter has to leave Hogwarts, and so do you. If you can of course, when it is all over with."
"The rules have been set. The duel will be performed, and the winner shall receive the spoils of their toils. Merlin have mercy on your soul Weasley, because we are going to break you and Krum."
"We will see about that." Ron laughed as he walked out of the portrait, headed for breakfast no doubt.