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Kaiba
Hypothetically, I could pretend that I wasn't completely shaken by that little encounter with my girlfriend. I could pretend that was a completely normal thing to do in the middle of a crowd in front of my brother with a girl that I didn't know all that personally and who was completely enamored with me. I could tell myself that these were all simply steps in a plan that I was executing flawlessly. I was good with smart lies.
However I couldn't quite bring myself to believe any intelligent sounding lie as Mokuba came to sit on that bench with me, not when the first words out of his mouth were, "Seto, what does love feel like?" All I could see in my head was Jounouchi in some dark corner of the grounds, weaving pretty lies in order to fully seduce my brother. My mental mantra became 'don't panic'… and that was all I did for ten seconds; I didn't even breathe. Then I calmed down and gave him the best response I could muster.
I shrugged.
"Is it…" Mokuba paused, tapping his fingers against the bench, and continued, "Is it like when you'd do anything to get someone's attention? You'd even make them mad, just so they'd be sure to notice you?"
"I don't think so," I replied, making a pretty good show of sounding like I knew any more than he did. "It sounds too broad – people piss each other off daily, and most of them don't seem to be in love."
"Well, is it like when you get goose bumps all over?" he tried. "And when you're blushing and embarrassed because you feel transparent?"
"It doesn't really matter," I said derisively, standing – it was the only way I could think to end the conversation without seeming defensive. "You're thirteen, and dating a moron; why worry about it?"
He sighed and yanked me back down by my shirt, looking me directly in the eye. I hated when he did that; he had been much easier to rationalize with when he was five and half of his arguments involved kicking and screaming. He'd finally learned the art of sitting and being patient; I had made the somewhat fatal mistake of teaching him that a little too well for my own good. "I'm just considering the possibility."
"With Jounouchi, I don't think it's something you need to be concerned with. Just because he might be a smooth talker but doesn't mean he's love potential." Not that I'd know anything about that. "The second he knows whether or not you'll let him have his way, he'll – "
"Not care," Mokuba completed, his tone firm. "Seto, you act like he's some rapist, but if you ever did anything except fight with him, you might notice that he's not all that bad. I bet if you two could talk for ten minutes without insults, you'd see that he's funny, nice, and about as good as anyone you could hope for me to like."
Obviously Mokuba didn't know how high my hopes were for people he'd like. "He's an imbecile, and a pervert."
Mokuba scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. "He's sweet, and a great kisser."
"And he's using that to his advantage."
"That's not all," Mokuba challenged – that was obvious. He was pushing my buttons, and he was enjoying it. "He's got great hands, and knows just how to – "
"Enough." I held up my hand and turned away from him, looking for the nearest activity to distract myself with… but nothing quite detracted from the mental image. I could see it all too clearly: my brother naively going with Jounouchi – the blond's wandering hands, what he might have whispered to make Mokuba so at ease… Instinctively my fist clenched.
"Okay, fine. Lets go play a game or something," Mokuba said, jumping up and looking at me with the most pathetically pleading eyes I had seen in a long time. Obviously he still remembered how he won arguments when he was five as well. "No more questions," he tacked on – adding incentive to the deal. I knew him better than to believe it, but regardless I nodded and stood, pointing across the street from where we were sitting. An arcade. Maybe it wasn't part of the fair, but a good distraction nonetheless, and Mokuba didn't argue.
We made it all the way across the street and into a racing game before Mokuba said anything at all. And of course, it had to be the only question I REALLY didn't want to hear – or answer: "So, how're things going with Shizuka?"
"Good," I replied absently, focusing on the buildings whizzing by on the screen. Good, if I took into account that I didn't know what to do with her, and that I didn't think it was going to last much longer, and –
"Have you… y'know, done anything she couldn't tell her brother about?" he prodded mischievously, holding his steering wheel in one hand and jabbing me gently with his free elbow. The game came with sound effects, and all that came out of the speakers flanking my head was a loud screech as my car veered abruptly off course; I guess I should've been thankful that we weren't in a real car.
"No."
He laughed like it was nothing. "Me neither. Well, nothing I couldn't tell you about, anyway. Like that night when you had dinner with Shizuka's family, the butler caught Jou and I making out on the couch in the game room; we had to stop, and ended up playing video games until he left. And once, I was at Jou's house watching movies. He doesn't ever fold his bed in, you know, so I ended up – " I jerked my steering wheel, getting my game car back on course and making another loud screech. Mokuba noticed that time, glancing over at me and sighing comically. "You have no room to complain, you know; I know what you've done on the living room couch," he replied, sticking his tongue out. I frowned; I couldn't argue with that. Instead, I settled into pretending that there were pedestrians to run over on in the game – there was no better way to stay on the road than to pretend that there'd be a chance I could hit Jounouchi as he was crossing the street.
I won our race.
"As usual," Mokuba laughed, stretching his arms out. "At least having a girlfriend hasn't distracted you from the things that really matter. We should really get back and find Jounouchi and Shizuka though; last time I saw them, they were arguing about something."
That got my attention; I had never seen them argue – in fact, Shizuka barely complained about her brother at all. I tried to seem disinterested as we left the arcade, but I didn't come off as flippant as I'd hoped. "Why?"
"I don't know," Mokuba shrugged. "I didn't listen in, and I wanted to talk to you anyway. Don't worry, though; she didn't sound so angry that you won't be able to get any later." He turned and walked backwards, winking at me. I opened my mouth to protest, then thought better of it; supposedly, that was good news. "They were at the Civic Center. Race ya!" With that he turned around and took off.
Mokuba
The more I thought about it, the surer I was that to an outsider, our whole plight was probably pretty funny. Despite that, to me it was a little sad, a little frustrating, but a lot confusing. Most confusing of it all was Shizuka, or rather that Niisama took things so far with her, and… The more time I spent with her, the harder it was NOT to look at her and wonder why Niisama would waste the opportunity to have a serious relationship with her, which led to me being confused on why I felt like it was such a shame.
If I were Shizuka, I'd feel a lot worse than she let on. Maybe she wanted to talk about it; maybe she was another one of those people who kept things to herself unless she was forced to say something. I nodded to myself, looking around the crowded room for her. Niisama was probably still far behind me, and I had seen Jounouchi just outside the building, debating with some vendor. Shizuka had to be around there somewhere…
I saw her in the corner, by two long tables that had little potted trees on them. I ran over to join her, standing silently beside her for a minute and examining what had her so absorbed. It wasn't extraordinary; the trees were decorated, and in front of them there were note cards that said where they were from, what they were, and how old they were.
"Pretty, aren't they?" she asked, smiling at me. With a look on her face like that, I couldn't say that I wanted to know if she was really hurt by Niisama – that didn't seem very sensitive. I resisted sighing and nodded.
"I thought…" You might like to confide in me. "…we could discuss next weekend – it was at the pool right?" I shifted from foot to foot, twisted around and looked at other things in the building – people, decorations, booths… I couldn't stay still.
"Yeah," she said, grabbing hold of my shoulders and looking at me dead on. I thought she was going to say something serious, maybe scold me, but she was giggling softly. "Stop moving – you're making me dizzy."
"Sorry." I did a mental inventory of all the things I knew we had in common, tapping my foot on the floor. We had big brothers, and we liked ice cream – but not the same flavors. We… We… "Nice outfit," I said sporadically, reaching for a topic – and realized a second too late that it was the wrong one. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt that showed her off quite nicely; it made for another awkward moment where I had to make an effort not to stare at her chest.
Mokuba, you're a moron.
She laughed. "Well, I guess so; Mama's not too fond of the shorts."
"I don't know, I think they look good on you."
Stop it.
"Thanks. Mama just doesn't think it's appropriate." I wasn't sure if the pause was because she felt just as weird as I did, or if it was because she didn't really know what to say either. "I… uh… I've been thinking I might cut my hair, since it's been warm; it's a pain to deal with it during the summer, and it'd be nice to get rid of it for a while."
I shook my head. "I like your hair the way it is."
You're flirting.
"R-really?" She laughed softly, even nervously if I had to guess. I went back to exploring the room with my eyes… only now I was looking for Niisama, or Jou, or any escape route that would get me out of the conversation I had trapped myself in. What was I supposed to say? I'd already nearly choked on my foot, and I couldn't think of too much we had in common. Maybe I just should have gone for the kill to start with… "Are you upset about breaking up with Niisama?" I feigned a yawn just so I could keep my eyes closed, even though I knew it wouldn't help me from hearing her answer.
"Kind of; I was really excited when I first started dating him, you know?" she said softly. She didn't sound angry. "He can be so sweet, that sometimes… Well, sometimes it's hard to remember that he's not really interested in me. Plus, he's like a walking example of everything most girls look for – tall, dark, handsome…" She paused, focused behind me; I turned to see that Jou was approaching us. There was that escape I had been looking for. After a second she looked back at me. "Don't worry about me, okay? You've done enough of that already, and I appreciate it." To my surprise, she did it again – kissed my forehead, like that was okay or something. It really should have bothered me.
Of course, I didn't register that – she was gone too quickly after that, and I was still back in the beginning of the conversation. It all sounded like cheesy flirting. No, it WAS cheesy flirting. I had been flirting with Shizuka. It's a good thing she wasn't Jou's little brother, or I just might have left him for her. After all, she was closer in age, and just as nice as her brother, and…
And it wouldn't be at all right; Niisama had always taught me that I should be realistic, and rationalizing a romance with Shizuka was anything but. Besides, she just told me what personified what girls liked: tall, dark, handsome… I most certainly didn't fit quite right into that category. And it wouldn't be fair to Jou to start dating his sister. I simply wouldn't consider what it would be like to date Shizuka.
I wouldn't.
I sighed.
I really wouldn't.
I just really, really wanted to.
notes
How many chapters have I forgotten to thank elsahlir for beta'ing for? TT Bad author. No cookie for me. Thank you, elsalhir:heart:
Dear reader:
It is possible I have lured you here under false
pretenses. Well, false isn't quite right, because at the time, they
were true. How many of you here came here from the two seconds I
decided to display the KaiJou & Mokuba/Shizuka flop in the summary?
No, be honest, raise your hands high now. Good, good. Well, you see,
starting the story, that was the plan. I regret to inform you that all
the rapid rewriting of the end of this story has been in fixing it,
because... it didn't work. It was nice and all, but it didn't work.
So very sorry. I hope you've enjoyed the story regardless, and will continue to do so. :)
Love, Ashes
/goofiness.
Ahem, all attempts at humor aside, yeah. That's true. nod Anyway, this chapter has a nice little section of un-beta'ed goodness, so during that racing scene, the typos and grammatical errors are all me, baby. I hope I caught most of them, though.
It occured to me just now that the end of this chapter and the end of the last chapter are really, really similar. This was not intended. I think I like it, though. It feels interesting.