Hi, Everyone! I hope you're liking my story here (I am really enjoying posting it!) I know it's a little shaky in some places, but I am making an effort to stamp out all errors.

I don't own T/P. Nothing. Zilch. Squat!

Enjoy!

Amy

As Delbert rejoined the Smollet's in the lounge, he was aware that all of them were staring at him. He sat tentatively beside Amelia, waiting for them to stop staring.

"So," Delbert exclaimed, "shall we have dinner?"

There was a knock on the front door.

"I'll get it." Amelia said; standing and striding from the room.

Delbert was uncomfortably aware of Mr. and Mrs Smollet's eyes, "so," he stated, clapping his hands together, "shall we?" he gestured to the dining room.

Alexander smiled and shouted for Adrien to come downstairs. Abigail sniffed and followed her husband into the next room.

"Hey, Doc!"

Delbert jammed his eyes closed, praying for it not to be who he thought it was. He opened his eyes to see Jim in the doorway.

"Sarah has informed me that she is to be away until tomorrow afternoon," Amelia said, "Mr. Hawkins shall be joining us."

Delbert managed a small squeak. There was no one in the world that he wished less for while impressing Amelia's parents. His look told Jim the same thing.

"Hey, no worry, Doc, Amy told me everything, said you were a big hit with her folks!"

Amelia winced at the use of her most hated nickname (a nickname Jim had been quick to catch on to).

Jim barged past Delbert, into the dining room to join the Smollets'.

"Amelia," Delbert said, grabbing her arm, "they already hate me, don't make it worse."

"Well then I shouldn't tell you that they've arranged to pay for the wedding, well…father anyway, should I?"

"P-p-pay… f-for our wedding? T-the whole wedding?" Delbert practically screamed.

Amelia nodded, "and Father insisted on paying for our honeymoon too."

"How could you do this to me? Why didn't you stop them? You're supposed to love me, remember? Don't you know that there is no wedding if the groom has a heart attack and dies of stress? I have a very high blood pressure, Honey!"

Amelia rolled her eyes as Delbert shouted about having a fever. "Honestly, Delbert you're completely overreacting. It just shows they're trying to accept us. There is nothing to worry about at all."

"Yes there is." Delbert cried, clutching his throat, "your confounded brother for a start! And your parents thinking we can't pay for it ourselves for another!"

Amelia sighed, smiling at her fretting fiancé, "you'll be fine, Dear. You got me to love you, now you're helping them to love you too."

"It was a miracle I did it the first time, sometimes, even now I still think it was a fluke, I still think you'll just disappear."

Amelia laughed, pulling his hands away from his throat to hug him, "I'm still here."

Delbert grinned, recovering from his dramatic speech. He leaned forward, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "why yes, I believe you are." He replied, "But I don't know, maybe I need more proof," he grabbed her posterior teasingly.

"Delbert," Amelia warned, compressing her laughter, pushing him, regretfully away, "they'll see us."

"Hey, not fair," he pouted, folding his arms in mock-frustration, "ever since our fifth date, I have been allowed unlimited ass access; you can't take that privilege away from me just because of your parents."

"Things will have to change this week," Amelia said, "no 'Ass Access,' no 'Adoration Rituals,' no… 'Breast Bracing,"

"What about 'Tongue Tickling?" Delbert asked gloomily.

She slapped his arm, "you know what I mean. There is now a ban on all of those we have mentioned. Now behave yourself."

Delbert bowed, flourished his arm in defeat and held it out to escort her to dinner, "at your request, My Lady."

xxxxxXXXXXxxxxx

"…then she turned this really neat blue colour and puked all over the floor!" Jim was laughing.

Abigail looked as though she had just eaten a lemon after a particularly fast rollercoaster ride, but Alexander looked rather entertained.

"Hey, Doc!" Jim greeted Delbert enthusiastically, "just telling Mr. and Mrs. S. about your luck with women!"

"What?" Delbert bellowed, glaring at Jim, then apologetically at the Smollet's. Adrien had gone again, which could not be a good thing.

"Then I heard Doc telling, Mum 'bout his first girlfriend," Jim said.

"Jim, no." Delbert begged.

"Rite, so Doc here was telling Mum 'bout this time he picked this total babe up from Garanda."

"Jim," Delbert pleaded, "this is nonsense," he informed the Smollets'

Jim poured the wine (he had found in the cupboard) into Abigail and Alexander's glasses.

"Come on, Doc it's hilarious. So anyways, he's got this real sexy chick from Garanda, this tiny planet just to the right of the spaceport, he takes her back to his place, totally smashed he was…thinking 'bout how great everything was and how he was gonna settle down for life… Of course, it's only after he's taken her underwear off he realizes she's actually this six foot tall transvestite, with this huge set of hairy-

"That's it Jim," Delbert said furiously, clamping a hand over Jim's mouth.

Abigail looked ready to kill Delbert, and Alexander looked as though he was barely restraining his laughter.

"Delbert honey, why don't you fetch dinner?" Amelia suggested meekly.

Adrien came prancing out of the kitchen, a smile on his face, and Delbert's blood froze. He nodded his head briefly and rushed into the kitchen to check on dinner.

He served the chicken and went to fetch the vegetables.

"I had my doubts about you," sounded a voice. Delbert jumped, looking up from the broccoli he was examining for evidence of Adrien.

"I wasn't sure whether anyone was really fit for my daughter."

Alexander was smiling, striding towards Delbert.

"Look, Sir," Delbert said, feeling about two inches tall, "what Jim said… he's just a teenager."

Alexander raised his hand, "what man doesn't have a tale to tell about past experiences with women? When I was in the academy, I hung upside down from a roof; to get a good look into the girls' dormitories, turns out it was the headmaster's office. I never got kicked out though… probably because he was in there with the deputy principle Miss Arania."

Delbert was writhing inside, this was definitely not a conversation he wished to be in with his bride-to-be's father.

"Delbert, I know what my son's like," Alexander's eyes twinkled, "takes after his father that one. I know you're not on drugs. He'll get used to you. And next week, I'll be proud to call you my son, one of our family."

Delbert began to feel hopeful; maybe there was hope for him yet.

Alexander smirked, "I'd tell you it won't be a six foot tall transvestite greeting you when you take off Amelia's underwear, but I wouldn't know myself and, of course, you already know."

"I did-we have- we never-

"Hey," Alexander assured him, "my wife thought I was a virgin until our honeymoon… doesn't make it true. You can tell me you're a virgin ever since you've dated my daughter…doesn't make it true. We're men Delbert, we're savage beasts."

Delbert could only smile weakly, wishing he could just disappear.

"By, the way," Alexander said, a sneaky grin made its way across his handsome features, "for you to remind Amy throughout the week: she didn't ban 'Rear Romping."

Delbert was shocked to know that Alexander was able to come to terms, even joke about the pairs 'activities.' And that he had heard them in the first place.

"And for occasional nights," Alexander winked, "Abigail sleeps with ear plugs and I didn't hear a thing-

There was a high pitched scream from Abigail, "Maggots! There are maggots in the chicken!"

Then a scream from Adrien

"DELBERT DOPPLER!"

A bit longer this time. I took the idea of having Jim join them for the evening and after I added him the whole chapter sort of fell into place so thanks to raven2005 for that -

I figured I would have a chapter of just Delbert bonding with Alexander as there are lots of awkward situations; so I hope you found it (slightly) amusing.

I'm always interested in ideas from my reviewers and generally use them so please email me, even if it's just to chat.

Amelia Johnsonn

XXX