AN: Sorry, this is another 10 page chapter. It just seemed like a good place to stop. There is a lot of unresolved issues in this chapter, and some people may be surprised. But this is where the real meat and potatoes of the plot is going to start shining through. Next chapter is going to be Pimp-centric, with Sirius and Remus coming out to hold it down for a bit. Till next time! Oh yea, and Snoop Dogg is going to make a very large appearance. I hope there isn't going to be a problem with this, but I have been dropping hints that he is the most powerful wizard/pimp in North America. His skills are rivaled only by Dumbledore. Awesome.

"You better believe it." Hermione smirked as Harry laughed. "God, I can't believe I just said that."

"Me neither." Harry laughed as he packed the egg away. "Can I pawn it now?"

"Harry!"

Harry awoke in the middle of the night, his arms wrapped around Hermione. He was thankful she was sleeping peacefully. Harry moved gently and deliberately, years upon years of sleeping with a gaggle of women honing his skills. Within moments he was free of Hermione's grip, and standing naked upon the cold hard floor of his room.

"Fuck it's cold." Harry whispered as he gripped his hand around his rapidly shrinking crotch. It was only a moment before he had on his boxers and pants, and after a few more minutes, he was fully clothed.

Harry checked the time and made sure Hermione was still sleeping before stepping out of his portrait. He knew that subterfuge was not his strong point, so he prepared himself by looking like he knew what he was doing.

Harry was surprised that he was able to make his way entirely to the front door of the school, never once stumbling onto any one. He knew his luck was stretched to the max, and soon discovered it had given out.

"Sir, can I help you?" A tall black man that Harry recognized from his times at the police department spoke to him.

"Of course. Official Hogwarts business." Harry spoke as he pulled his cloak tighter around his head. "Where is the man known as Hagrid?"

"We assure you, his shack will be searched in a moment." Shacklebolt smiled, a gold tooth glittering in the light. "We believe the egg may have been stolen by Harry Potter. His room will be searched in about an hour."

"Ah." Harry replied. "Well, I will search the shack myself."

"Suit your self." Shacklebolt laughed before stepping to the side. "It's right there Harry." He pointed as he spoke.

"Thank you sir." Harry bowed slightly before mentally kicking himself.

"Can you tell me where the egg is?" Kingsley questioned, a smirk on his face.

"No idea." Harry replied, his face stony.

"It's a felony to smuggle or steal dragon eggs Harry. If you return it now, we can assure you, the charges will be dropped."

"Don't know what you're talking about." Harry smiled as he pulled his cloak hood down. "I just want to check on my basilisk." Harry chuckled to himself as the auror before him fidgeted.

"Your basilisk?" Kingsley questioned. "Ownership of dangerous creatures is also a felony."

"You know, they say you shouldn't talk about certain shit when you talk to cops." Harry spoke quietly as he limped closer to Kingsley. "This is the life of a dark wizard. Lord only knows what can happen when the night comes, what you bitches think? I'll shoot at any one, cuz I ain't getting locked up again."

"Are you threatening me?" Kingsley growled as he drew his wand. "I fought in the first Voldemort war."

"I beat Voldemort in the first war." Harry smirked as Kingsley stepped back.

"Do you have the egg?"

"Nope." Harry replied coldly.

"Then go speak to Hagrid. But we will be searching his shack in a moment."

"You do that." Harry smirked as he stepped forwards, forcing Kingsley to move to the side, to keep from being bowled over.

"'Arry?" Hagrid breathed as he opened the door, a small pink nightcap on his head. "'An I 'elp you?"

"Yea. I got something for you." Harry smiled as he stepped into the room. "But we got a problem."

"'At do ya mean?" Hagrid breathed as his eyes widened. "Ya didn't?"

"I did." Harry smirked as he withdrew a very large black egg from under his cloak. "You always said you wanted one, but we have to hide it."

KNOCK KNOCK

"Fuck." Harry scowled as he stuffed the egg back under his cloak.

A very visibly nervous Hagrid opened the door. "'An I help ya?"

"Yes, you oaf. Let me in before someone sees me." Draco Malfoy scowled as he pushed his way into the room. "Give me the egg you idiot."

"What?" Harry breathed as he too recovered from his shock of seeing Draco. "Why are you here?"

"I'll explain in a minute, give me the egg moron." Draco spoke exasperatedly.

"Fine." Harry replied, as he handed Draco the egg, whom shrunk it and placed it in his pocket. "You got some 'splainin to do."

Within moments, the door burst open as several aurors stepped into the hut, their wands drawn, and livid expressions upon their faces. "We are here to search Mr. Potter and Hagrid and his hut."

Harry laughed as he turned around and placed both hands on the wall, assuming the position he had been forced into many times before. "While you are down there, why don't you jerk me off?" He grinned to hide his grimace as one of the aurors elbowed him in the kidney before continuing to search him.

"What do we do about him?" Kingsley questioned as he pointed at Draco. "Do we search him?"

"I would think not." Draco huffed as he extended his chest. "My father is Luscious Malfoy. He would hear about this, and I assure you, he would be most displeased if I were to be treated as a common criminal. I could buy a hundred dragon eggs, if I wanted."

Kingsley scowled as he weighed his options, before jerking a hand at the door, motioning for the rest of the aurors to leave with him. "Let's go."

Harry, Draco, and Hagrid held their breath as they listened to the aurors exit, eventually satisfied as Hagrid nodded his head and explained that they had left. Hagrid enjoyed his ability to sense the wards around his immediate position.

"Why did you help us?" Harry inquired as Draco handed the egg to Hagrid.

"Because if I didn't, you would have been expelled… moron." Draco scowled.

"How did you know I was out here?"

"I watched you sleeve the egg, when you grabbed your clue. I was using a recording device, and replayed it, and noticed you pocket it. Clever." Draco laughed before continuing. "It wasn't obvious, but if you look closely, you'll see it disappear. I guess I was the only one watching you, as every one else watched your snake."

"Oh." Harry replied. "So how did you know I was here?"

"I was sticking a Hufflepuff girl in a closet, when I heard your cane." Draco grinned. "Told her I had to see what my 'rival' was doing."

"'Hy woulda ya do 'at?" Hagrid questioned, obviously confused by Draco's choice of words.

"He didn't shove her into the closet Hagrid. He was in it with her." Harry laughed as Draco nodded, a smirk playing at his lips.

"Oh." Hagrid replied, still confused.

"My father said I would be severely punished if you were… harmed… by any one but him, or one other." Draco continued. "So I'm stuck baby sitting your ass."

"What?" Harry breathed. "What the fuck do you mean?"

Draco sighed and rolled his eyes before continuing. "I told you, I was raised to hate you. Who raised me?"

"Your dad?"

"Precisely. He hates you." Draco chuckled. "So, if you were to be harmed, it would be my ass."

"Fuck you, and your dad." Harry scowled, offended by the circumstances.

"I'm sure in another universe, you have." Draco laughed for a moment before shuddering. "Bleh."

"Yea, that's sick." Harry shivered slightly. "So, you will be shadowing me?"

"Fuck no." Draco laughed. "I'm just going to pop in occasionally to save your ass, when you do something moronic."

"Oh."

"Which means I will always be there."

"You are a dick." Harry scowled.

"I know." Draco smiled before turning to leave. "Don't burn your shack down. Loosers." He smiled as he pointed at the egg before throwing the door open and exiting.

"'Es a bit off, that one." Hagrid spoke quietly as he turned to look at Harry.

"Enjoy the pet." Harry winked before following in Draco's footsteps and exiting.

Hermione awoke to an odd silence. Harry didn't snore, but there was usually a steady breathing sound coming from her lover as they slept. "Lumos." She whispered, commanding the entire room to light softly.

"Harry?" Hermione spoke as she realized the room was entirely empty. "Now where did you go?"

Hermione decided that the best course of action would be to read a book. So she grabbed her favorite copy of Hogwarts a History, and snuggled into Harry's couch, her eyes occasionally darting to the door.

It was several hours before she heard a noise outside of the door. "Self control." Harry chuckled to himself as he slowly pressed the portrait open.

Hermione watched from her position on the couch as Harry snuck quietly into the room, hopping his way about, instead of using his cane. She had decided to allow himself to work harder as she chewed on her lip.

"Im the peoples champ. Something like a baller. Candy paint dripping on the old school Impala." Harry rapped softly as he sat on the floor, occasionally throwing sideways glances towards the bedroom, hoping he hadn't awoke Hermione, he was struggling to get his shoes off.

Hermione smiled, she had noticed long ago, that Harry had an impeccable talent when it came to singing. It felt to her as though he squandered it every time he rapped. "Why don't you ever sing a real song?" She finally spoke; chuckling softly as Harry tipped over, prepared to throw a shoe at her.

"Holy fuck." Harry breathed. "How long have you been there?"

"Since you came in. I awoke to an empty bed." Hermione pouted as Harry struggled to stand.

"That'll happen sometimes with me." Harry replied, as he shrugged out of his robe. "I'm like an owl. I do my business in the dark."

"How often?" Hermione questioned as she spied the grass on Harry's robe. "Where you out dueling?"

"Hell na girl." Harry smiled before continuing. "I get business sometimes. I had to go see Hagrid. Ask him tomorrow, if you don't believe me."

"I believe you." Hermione replied dismissively, as though the idea of Harry lying to her was foreign. "I just worry about you."

"Don't girl. I'm a King." Harry smirked before motioning towards the bed. "How about I give you a good night lick?"

Hermione blushed before nodding her head, an imperceptible smile playing on her lips as she removed her clothing before entering the bed. "How about a 69?"

"How about not." Harry shook his head, surprising Hermione.

"Why not?"

"You ain't putting a dick in yo' mouth, when my kid is in yo' tummy. That's child abuse." Harry smiled softly as Hermione guffawed at Harry's explanation.

"I love you Harry."

"I love you, and Crunkjuice too. You hear that? I love you enough to not get my dick sucked. You better remember that!" Harry spoke towards her tummy as he crawled into bed with her.

Hermione simply shook her head as she maneuvered her back against the head board, Harry's head disappearing below the sheets as the pair giggled happily.

Back at Harry's house-

"I have a bad feeling. My hoe sense is tingling." Macey growled as she lay in bed with Sandy, discussing girl talk, as neither could sleep.

"Something wrong?" Sandy inquired, concern in her voice.

"I think Harry is fucking someone." Macey scowled as her eyes darted back and forth angrily. "And it isn't me."

Sandy snorted before hitting Macey with a pillow. "Bitch, go to sleep."

"Bitch! You go to sleep! Bitch!" Macey growled as the pair began to hit each other with pillows, awakening the rest of the women in the bed.

"Bitches! You both go to sleep! God damn it!" Crystal exploded, causing the entire room to burst into giggles.

"Bitches! Sleep is now!" Sirius screamed from his room, causing Remus to awaken with a loud groan.

"EVERY ONE GOES TO FUCKING SLEEP NOW!" Remus hollered, eliciting more giggles from every one in the house as Cynthia began to chastise him for waking her up.

"We need Harry!" Sirius bellowed as the entire house continued to laugh, random commands to sleep or shut up echoing through the house.

Back at Hogwarts-

It felt as though the next day was a blur as Harry and Neville shared glances and nods the entire day. They were both preparing them selves for the coming fight, and neither was prepared to loose.

Harry felt as though he had the most on the line, as he pondered whether simply killing the two and leaving was a viable option. He knew Hogwarts could monitor actions that students took, and wasn't sure if the quidditch pitch would be far enough away from prying eyes.

Hermione spent most of the day smiling and hugging Harry, obviously unaware that the battle was due at the end of the day. She was under the impression that Harry had cancelled the fight, after several students were "overheard" discussing Harry chickening out in the library.

"Man, if these muther fuckers were spys… we would win every war." Harry laughed as he discussed the way the school worked to keep Prefects and teachers guessing till it were too late.

"I hear that." Neville chuckled as they made their way to the quidditch pitch. "So how did you get Hermione to leave you alone long enough to come fight?"

"I told her we were going to work on getting you the courage to talk to the Patil twins." Harry shrugged as they watched the towering sports stadium grow ever closer.

"I'm going to do it man." Neville spoke with conviction as he punched the palm of his hand. "After this fight. If we win, I am going to ask the Patil twins out."

"If? Bitch please; it's when we win. Now you have to do it." Harry laughed as Neville's face paled.

"Well, let's hope. Right?"

"Hope's for pussies, I got this in the bag." Harry growled as he noticed Ron and Krum standing in the center of the pitch, smug smiles on the pair's faces.

"How do you do?" Krum bowed slightly as Harry and Neville took their places, standing before the pair.

Harry simply stared, not one for small talk before a fight as Krum smiled at him.

"Well then. I, Victor Krum, shall duel you, one Harry Potter." Krum explained as though he were speaking to child as Ron exchanged scowls with Neville. "My compatriot, Ronald Weasley, shall duel Neville Longbottom."

"Why the change?" Harry inquired, leery of the new exchange of fighting partners.

"It would seem that Mr. Longbottom challenged Ronald, forcing us to be their seconds." Krum spoke dismissively, his posture easily belaying his annoyance.

"All right." Harry nodded. "So when do we start?"

"Now." Krum replied as he bowed.

CRACK

Harry lunged forward, using his cane, as though it were a golf club, he deftly stroke upward, knocking Krum in the cranium. "What it is muther fucker!" Harry shouted as he hopped forwards a bit and stroked downwards, using the heavy onyx ball handle of his cane to bash Krum's jaw, a sickening crunch and rain of blood and spittle dancing in a crescendo of carnage.

Harry could see flashes of light coming from Ron and Neville as they performed a more 'traditional" wizards duel. "Fuck him up!" Harry cheered as he dropped to the floor, allowing his cane to clatter within hands reach. Harry deftly gripped Krum's cloak, using his leverage and some brute strength, he rolled him onto his side. He then grabbed Krum's thumb, with one hand, while gripping his shoulder blade with the other.

The bone-chilling scream of pain that echoed from Krum as Harry twisted and pulled on the boys arm was deafening. A loud sound, much like the pop of a balloon reported that Harry had dislocated his arm.

Harry was about to elbow him in the neck, when a red jet of light connected squarely with his chest, sending him spinning away from Krum, a few feet off the ground.

Harry simply gritted his teeth as he looked down at the gash that had formed upon his chest. Blood seeped upon the floor, causing his rage to build before he looked up. "Oh fuck." Harry breathed as he realized that there were over twenty-three wizards from Durmstrang standing before him.

"It took you long enough." Krum breathed, his eyes watery as he gripped his arm. "We are going to kill you Harry. Do you understand?" Krum grinned murderously as he waved his wand at his arm, another loud pop confirming that his arm had returned to its proper position.

"Slowly." Another boy from behind Krum confirmed.

"CRUCIO!" Krum bellowed with glee as the crimson spell connected firmly with Harry's chest.

Harry Potter had never felt so much pain in his life. It was unbearable, but he refused to scream for the first twenty seconds as Krum laughed maniacally. Then he broke down, his body convulsing as the pain became too much, he screamed obscenities and threats as he clinged to his dignity.

"I think I will just make him stupid, like the fat kid's parents." Krum spoke to his compatriots as he finally released the spell on Harry. "What do you all think?"

It was several moments, and Krum had not heard a reply from his friends, so he turned to find out why no one had answered him. "Friends?"

"No friends here."

"Who are you?" Krum yelped as he took a step back from the frightening masked man who stood inches from his face. "What did you do to them?" He shrieked as he witnessed another mask individual begin to stomp on one of his fellow students.

"They should all be alive." The 'leader' of this group spoke. "See, we have a problem here. You are using a loop hole in a poorly worded wizards duel to attempt to kill Harry Potter."

Krum remained silent as the masked individual before him continued to speak. It looked as though they were imitating the garb of the death eaters.

"Now there is nothing wrong with killing Harry Potter. Right?" The leader spoke louder now, causing Krum to blanch as the other masked figures gave their attention to him with nods.

"So what is the problem?" Krum continued bravely.

"You aren't a death eater." The man whispered harshly before jabbing his wand into Krum's stomach. "CRUCIO!"

Krum screamed and convulsed the moment the spell was placed upon him. His voice cracking as he begged for mercy.

"Pitiful." The leader spoke as he removed the spell only after six seconds. "You make me sick. I, as well as every one who stands before you has enjoyed the pleasure of the Crucio from Lord Voldemort himself, none of us screamed for at least ten seconds." The man spat, as he kicked Krum in the chest.

"Please. Don't kill me. I am a star. People would know." Krum begged and bargained as the masked figures watched on, their faces belaying no trace of emotion, only cold hard ceramic mockeries of emotions that were etched into their disguises.

"Have you ever killed someone?" The leader questioned bluntly.

"No." Krum replied uneasily.

"AVADA KADAVRA!" The leader whispered, causing Krum to jump as a jet of green light burst from his wand and connected with a wall, causing the barrier to crack and shatter. "I have." The leader continued.

"I believe you."

"No you don't. Every one here has killed someone, and here you are, attempting to perform the job that no death eater has ever had the pleasure to perform."

"I didn't mean to." Krum begged as he shook on the floor, having obviously pissed himself.

"Didn't mean to he says?" The leader laughed coldly, as the rest of the Death-Eaters present snorted and laughed. "You are an idiot, and have obviously lost this duel, do you accept defeat?"

"Of course." Krum agreed, hoping his acquiescence would earn mercy.

"Say it ass hole."

"I Victor Krum, accept defeat in this wizards duel. Unconditionally." Krum spoke, his voice quivering.

"You worthless… bastard." The leader scowled before stunning Krum. "I should have killed you."

Harry awoke moments later, a female death eater having enervated him.

"What the fuck happened?" Harry choked as his muscles twitched and spasmed painfully.

"You were crucio'ed into unconsciousness." Draco Malfoy explained after removing his mask. "I showed up with some friends, and ended the duel. You win, since Krum and Ron cheated."

"Is Neville all right?" Harry spoke quickly, unable to move his head to look for him.

"He is bleeding, just as you are, but he defeated Ron single-handedly."

"Fuck yes." Harry coughed before allowing his eyes to droop closed.

"No. You can't sleep. I have to get you to the Hospital wing." Draco spoke evenly as he punched Harry in the arm, causing him to scream in pain as his eyes shot open. "Let's go."

"Fuck you dick suck." Harry muttered as Draco hefted him upwards, sending wave upon wave of pain through his nervous system.

"Yea what ever." Draco huffed as he and the rest of the Junior Death-Eaters carried Harry and Neville towards the castle, ignoring the Durmstrang students, and Ron.

"What happened to him?" Madam Pomfery inquired as a gaggle of Slytherin student's laid Harry upon one of the beds, and Neville upon another.

"He will need an anti-crucio potion." Draco spoke firmly.

"WHAT?" Pomfery nearly fell over as the Slytherin simply nodded. "He will need it soon. Now!"

"Of course." Madam Pomfery nodded as she bustled into the back, returning with a dusty potion bottle that she swiftly poured down Harry's throat.

"First Ms. Granger, and now he is getting unforgivables cast on him." Madam Pomfery scowled as she shook her head. "What is going on?"

"I don't know. I asked him. He said it was a Crucio. No one know's what happened." Draco shrugged before turning around, and beckoning the rest of the students away with him.

"This is insane!" Madam Pomfery yelped as she stomped towards Neville, hoping to discover what could have happened to him. "Now what is wrong with you?" She spoke rhetorically, but was surprised when Neville answered.

"Reducto and some form of cutting curse." Neville breathed, as blood began to pool on the floor near his bed.

"What were you two doing?" Madam Pomfery inquired softly as she began to cast healing spells.

"Walking the dog." Neville replied. "A very mean dog."

Madam Pomfery stared slack jawed at the boy, debating with her self before she finally decided to contact Dumbledore. It was only a moment before the Headmaster had rushed into the room, his eyes wide with shock as he spied the two boys.

"What has happened here?" Dumbledore exclaimed as Madam Pomfery hushed him.

"It would seem that they had a run in with a very mean dog. Apparently this dog is able to cast the crucio." Madam Pomfery explained skeptically.

"Who told you this?"

"Neville Longbottom."

"Then we must ask Harry about his side of the story, allow me to awaken him for a moment." Dumbledore spoke with a hint of command to his voice as he waved his wand over Harry's face.

"Wuh?" Harry groaned as he looked about.

"Who cast the crucio upon you Harry?" Dumbledore spoke softly, his eyes boring into Harry's. "What were you doing?"

"Herbology homework." Harry lied quickly, his mind groggy. "Angry plant."

"Thank you Harry." Dumbledore chuckled before waving his wand over the boy's face.

"Someone is lieing." Madam Pomfery nodded sagely as Dumbledore chuckled.

"If I may, I know that I occasionally confuse my house plant for a chihuahua. Perhaps they were accosted by a violent rose bush that had taken the form of a Labrador retriever?"

Madam Pomfery chewed her lip, not sure if the Headmaster was joking or not.

"Poppy?" Dumbledore inquired serenely as he watched the nurse stare at him.

"Do you do that on purpose, or are you really insane?" She blurted before covering her mouth.

"I'm going to go make a floo call." Dumbledore smiled before turning around, obviously ignoring Madam Pomfery and her outburst.