Mirror
By Norwalker
Part Five
Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters. I own the story, so don't blame him.
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." Oscar Wilde1
Buffy sits in her room, primping for her date with Ford.
She stares at her reflection in the mirror, and wonders sometimes if that's really her, or some stranger looking out on her world, watching her, judging her.
Her dress, her manner is so different from last night's little adventure. She sits as before, nearly nude, dressed merely in a pair of white lace French cut panties. Unlike last night, however, there isn't a hard edginess to her, rather, there is a soft glow, her skin still glowing from her shower.
She applies her makeup, totally different from last night. Subtler, she applies a wet look lip gloss, a pearly pink color to her lips. Her base matches her skin tone. She does her eyes, using a gold shadow to emphasize the gold highlights of her hazel eyes. Dipping her finger in sparkle, she applies the lightest coat, just enough to give a slightly exotic edge to her otherwise soft, more innocent look.
She stands, and walking to her dresser, retrieves a pair of white stockings. Slipping them on, she again enjoys the sensual feel of the nylons encasing her legs. She retrieves a white, lacy garter belt, and dons it. Unlike last night, she also retrieves a bra, demi cup with lace accents. She slips it on, and then walks to the closet to retrieve her dress.
Back at the vanity, she checks herself out critically, turning this way and that, nodding her approval. One advantage, human. You can see yourself in the mirror. She slips on her dress and takes a look.
Her dress is a simple cocktail dress, eggshell in color. It fits nicely, not too tightly, just giving the suggestion of sensuality and innocent sexiness. Just the look she's going for.
My, my, don't we look like the sweet little thing, she giggles to herself.
" Mirror, mirror on the wall, will I make my sweet Ford fall?"
She smiles to herself, knowing the poor boy doesn't stand a chance.
Walking to her closet, she slips into a pair of sandals, and then retrieves a single strand peal necklace from her jewelry tree. She grabs her purse, a small shoulder clutch, and walks again to get the final result.
She stands, a picture of sweetness. Her soft blonde hair cascades down to her shoulders, framing her face in a soft golden glow. Her make up looks so innocent, but little touches suggest hidden naughtiness. Her dress hangs just so, giving a nice round curve to her hips and bottom, and the under wire demi cup bra gives her breasts just a tiny lift, making them seem fuller. She likes what she sees, and is pretty sure Ford will too.
To early yet to show him the wild side. Mmmm… but I wonder how he'd react to it?
Giggling to herself, she leaves the bedroom, ready for conquest.
" Sweetheart, you look so pretty tonight!" Joyce exclaims, watching her daughter descend the stairs.
Buffy blushes modestly, and waves her hand. " Aw, mom. You'd say that if I came down in burlap."
" But you do, honey. It's so good to see you dressing up again. Now, admit it. Wasn't it wise of your old mom to invite Billy over for a little chat?"
" Why am I thinking this is going to be one of those ' Mother knows best' moments?" She teases Joyce. " Ok, it's nice to see Ford again, I admit. He makes me laugh. But it's only casual mom."
" I don't know, Buffy. The way he was looking at you today, it sure seemed more than casual , at least on his part."
" Mom! Geeze, we're just friends. You know? It's not a big. We're two friends going out for drinks and dancing, and oh yes, I'll let him buy me dinner if he offers. But it's not anything more than that. Ford is like… well, like one of the girls. Know what I mean?"
" I see. So, tell me Buffy. Do you always spend like two hours getting prepared to go out with one of the girls? Another hour going back and forth over what dress to wear, and complaining you've got nothing, absolutely nothing to wear? Oh, and is that perfume I smell, darling daughter? Is that standard equipment for a girls night out? And those are your best pearls, if I recall right."
" Not serious, mom. But hey, I like being able to get a little girly, you know? And if Mr. Fordham just happens to notice, and approve, I'm going to like get upset?"
" Alright. I'm just mom, what do I know, Oh wise daughter? But I'm telling you, Billy is taking more than a casual interest in you."
" Mom, he's a guy. Guys only want one thing from a girl. So of course, he's sniffing around a little. It's what guys do!"
" Buffy Summers!" Joyce shakes her head, a little sadly, " I was hoping you'd at least hit forty before you got that cynical!"
" Oh, mom, please. Get real!" Buffy shrugs , " Faith says that…"
" Well, Ms. Faith has had a different experience that you. I can imagine the kind of guys she's hung out with!"
" Mom, doesn't matter. From Manimal to someone who watches chick flicks and cries, they're all the same. Faith says that, and I gotta back her up on this."
" Billy Fordham is a nice boy!" Joyce insists.
" Ah , mom, " Buffy hugs her, " I gotta love you. You're so … innocent. There aren't no such animals… nice guys!" Buffy makes a rude sound. " By the way, is Faith around? I so totally want her to check out the dress, you know? See if it has boyfriendliness ."
" No honey, she left awhile ago."
" Oh?" Buffy looks disappointed. More than one would normally expect. " Did she say where she was going?"
" She had an appointment at the hospital this evening, remember?"
" Huh? Is she still going there? I thought she was like 5 x 5, you know? That's what she told me…" Buffy frowns.
" Buffy, you have to remember, she was pretty banged up. She's still having some pain."
" I don't get it, mom. She's a slayer, she should be healed up by now."
" Buffy, she took two pretty severe beatings in a week. It's only been two weeks since. The doctors are just being thorough. Don't fret, sweetie, she'll be fine."
" She's hurt? She's still hurt?" Buffy looks very worried.
" No, baby, just some … well, twinges when she stretches out some. It's not a big deal. They just want to be sure everything is healing up right."
" Oh, man," Buffy starts to pace around. " Oh man, it was me. I did this to her. God, I'm such a fucking monster! How could I hurt her like that? She's got to be mad at me. She's got to really hate me. Sometimes I wish they'd just staked me."
" Buffy!" Joyce is shocked, " don't even say that!"
" Well, it's true. I hate this. I hate how everyone treats me like I'll go crazy and start killing again any second. It's all ' walk on eggshells around Buffy, cuz she's all wiggy, and we don't have a clue what'll set her off. ' " Buffy sits down on the bottom step, face in hands." Why can't they just treat me normal? Call me whatever, get in my face, but just act like I'm Buffy… not some… damn!"
" Buffy, it's been barely more than two weeks since everything happened. You've got to be a little patient with people, honey. They're still adjusting to having you back. We thought we lost you forever, honey. Having you back is … wonderful, but a little strange, too. So, I know it's hard, but try to be a little understanding of their feelings, ok?"
" I know their dealing. I get that, and I'm trying to deal too. But I'm making an effort here to put it behind us, act like normal girl again, but it's hard when everyone seems to be afraid of you."
" Buffy, I don't want to seem harsh here, but are you really acting normally? You hide in this house all day, mostly up in your room doing who knows what. Trying to get you out the door is a major event. When you told me you had a date with Billy tonight, I was tempted to call a press event."
" That's right, mom, " Buffy says with a bitter edge, " make fun of insane-psycho girl. Kinda easy target, don't you think?" She looks at Joyce , her eyes over bright, " What do you expect from me, any of you? I read that journal of mine upstairs, realizing that was what I was doing. I killed Xander, sweet silly loveable Xander? And you expect me to just blow it off? Go skipping through the park singing " La. La. La. La." ?"
" Buffy, I know this has been hard on you. But you know what? It's been hard on everyone. You went through hell, Buffy? Well, we did too. You're not the only victim here, Buffy. You have a guilty conscience? Well, we're carrying a lot of pain around. Do you even get that? Think about Willow. Sure, you lost Xander, but she did too. And she knew him a hell of a lot longer than you did, and was a lot closer to him. And Giles. Thinking he lost someone very dear to him. And Angel. Think of how he felt, considering what he has to live with? He still loves you, Buffy. And he had to watch you become some kind of murdering monster. He knows what you're going through, but do you even ask him for any advice or help? No, you just complain because he's around trying to protect you. Oh, and do you think I'm happy that you played me, played on my love for you, then turned around and tried to kill me?"
" THAT WASN'T ME!" Buffy yells, angry and frustrated.
" No, it wasn't," Joyce tries to keep her cool, " we know that. But we're human Buffy. You're upset because we don't ' just get over it', but you expect us to bend over backwards when you don't ' just get over it.' If you want people to treat you normally, then start acting normally."
" Right, normally, " Buffy says bitterly. She stops, and feels herself all out of sorts. "That's it. I'm not going out now. Not feeling like this."
She starts up the stairs, but Joyce reaches out and stops her.
" No. You're not staying home. You promised Billy you'd go out, and you're going out!"
" No way. I'm in no mood to pretend to be having a good time. I'm staying in!"
" I'm not spending another evening with you moping around, sitting in front of the TV zoning out, and disappearing up in your room. You're dressed, you made the commitment, now you're going out. No arguments, young lady."
" You can't make me go out! Not if I don't want to. I'm not going out, and that's final."
" Well, you're not staying here. If you don't go out, then you better find somewhere else to be, young lady."
" You're throwing me out? Because I don't want to go out on a date? How fair is that?"
Joyce snaps. " How fair is it you making our lives miserable by being a selfish, self involved brat?" As soon as the words leave her mouth, she wishes she could take them back.
Buffy stands frozen, mouth open, staring at her. Her face reddens, and her jaw shuts. She turns towards the stairs.
" Buffy, I'm sorry, " Joyce says, her anger drained. " I didn't mean…"
" Yes you did," Buffy turns, her face a cold mask. " you meant ever word. I'm making your life miserable. All of you. Because you think this was some kind of lark. Some kind of game I'm playing. That …that…" She waves her hand, " I get it now. You're never going to forgive me, because you think I did it on purpose. Oh, you say you know that wasn't the case, but that's how you really feel. I know it. And guess what, mom? I'm gone. It's pretty obvious you don't want me here anymore. So, I'll get my stuff, and get the hell out. "
" Buffy, don't be foolish, " Joyce says, " Where will you go?"
" Don't know, don't care. Don't have any friends, but hey, I'll find somewhere to be. Doesn't matter, really. Cuz, being alone? Is a lot better than being somewhere they don't want you." Buffy starts up the stairs and stops. " Know what? Changed my mind."
" You're not leaving?"
" No, I'm leaving. Just, I'm going on that date with Ford. At least he doesn't think I'm some kind of monster. But when I get back, I'm packing." She starts upstairs, then turns. " If it's not too much trouble, would you let me know when he gets here? Don't think I want to be with you right now." Buffy starts up the stairs again.
" Buffy, stop this! Why're you doing this? Why're you being so stubborn!"
Buffy turns around, and cocks her head to the side.
" Stubborn, mom? I'm not stubborn. I'm a selfish, self-involved brat, remember?" She grins. A grin that chills the heart. " Or maybe, mommy dumbest, they drove me insane." She walks back downstairs, and stands close to her mother. " I'm hazy on what I did. But I remember everything they did to me."
" Who? What're you talking about?"
" Spike and Drusilla. The ones who made me what I am today, mother," Buffy moves a little closer, " Want to know what they did to me, mom?"
" Buffy…" Joyce whispers, genuinely afraid.
" They didn't kill me right away mom. Oh no, that wouldn't be any fun, would it? No, they didn't kill me. They tortured me."
Joyce's face goes white.
" For five days, they tortured me. Five days straight. They wouldn't let me sleep, I couldn't eat. The only time I escaped the torture was when I passed out from the pain. No fun to torture me without the screams, is it?"
" Faith was big into torture when she was insane-o slayer. Ask her what the five basic torture groups are. Except Spike, ever resourceful, came up with a few extra things to do to me. Things that I can't believe you could do to someone without killing them. But they didn't kill me. Cuz then it would be over, I'd be free of them."
Buffy walks over, and unzips her dress. She opens the back , showing it to her mother." See that mom? Those are just a sample of what they did to me. When you die, when you become a vampire, the scars on your body tend to disappear. But these were so deep, so bad, they only scarred. They didn't disappear. Now, imagine that, all over me. I've got others that I won't show you. But trust me, I've got them all over me."
Joyce reaches out, touching Buffy's back. " Buffy, honey I didn't know…"
"That wasn't enough for old Spike, however. Each day, at least 5 times a day, he raped me, mom. He didn't care how broken my body was. He just kept doing it, day after day. He raped me! He stuck his… thing… in every hole in my body he could force it into. And know what? He told me, at the time, that I was only the beginning. That he was coming for all of you. That he'd do the same thing to you, to Willow, to Anya… He was even laughing how he would sodomize Xander and Giles. Something about enemas and hot pokers. Sorry, was kind of out of it at the time. Imagine how that made me feel. And when he was done? Drusilla got in on the act, using all sort of disgusting, vile things on me. And the nut job sang nursery rhymes while she did it." Buffy shudders.
Joyce is now the one standing open mouth, in shock.
" They tried to drive me insane, mom. Just like Angel drove Drusilla insane. They were gonna make me Dru, jr. They laughed about it, right in front of me. But I didn't let it happen. I wasn't going to become a goony like Dru. I held on. I kept my sanity by allowing my hate for them to warm me, comfort me, and give me strength. I didn't have anything else left to hold on to. Just the hate, and the desire for revenge."
Buffy laughs a scary laugh.
" By the fifth day, I was so out of it I hardly could remember my name. But the hate sustained me, kept me going. And when that bastard turned me, made me into a vampire, I got him back. I dusted him. Him and his crazy bitch! They had such plans, They were going to make this town a bloodbath, and they planned on using me to do it. But they forgot something mom. Wanna know what?"
Joyce nods, speechless.
" This is my town. Mine!" Buffy clenches her fists so tight, they shake. " No one, no one fucks with me in my town!" She seems to explode away from her mother, moving towards the living room. She turns back, her face empty, her hands out. " So, what do you think, mom? Am I nuts, or what? Maybe they did make me nuts. " Buffy leans against the doorjamb, and slowly slides down it, until she's sitting on the floor." Whatcha think. Go ahead, be honest."
Joyce walks over to her, and kneels beside her. " Buffy, I had no idea. I'm so sorry."
" Maybe mom, If I act a little loony, there's reason for it. You think?" Buffy is looking at her, shaking. Joyce goes to hold her, but Buffy breaks away. She gets up on her feet.
"' No, don't I don't want that!" Buffy says harshly. " The last thing I want is your pity!"
" Buffy, please…"
" No. Forget it mom, just forget it. I didn't tell anyone else, because I don't want to see that look in their eyes. The pity. It makes me want to puke!"
" Buffy, honey, I just want you to know, I'm so sorry. I didn't understand why you were so… withdrawn. Now I do."
" It's ok, mom. You didn't know. I get it, " Buffy says quietly. She comes over, and hugs Joyce. " I just don't want to be something everybody looks at and says, ' poor her'. It's…over, and I want it to remain that way. Over." She looks up at her mom, her eyes tearing up. " I love you mom"
" I love you too, baby, " Joyce holds her, stroking her hair.
The doorbell rings.
" Oh god!" Buffy exclaims. " I'm a mess. Hold him off, ok? While I get fixed up?"
" Buffy, you don't have to do this. You don't have to go out. I'll make an excuse for you."
" No, mom, you're right. I gotta get over this. Stop letting that bastard Spike rule my life. I'm going out, and I'm going to have a good time. And I say, fuck HIM!" Buffy blushes. "Sorry, didn't mean to swear."
" That's ok, baby." Joyce touches her cheek. " Go, get ready. I'll hold off Billy."
" Thanks, mom, " Buffy kisses her.
She runs upstairs.
Buffy stands in her secret room, looking at the pictures of Faith. Her look is kind of distant. She smiles
"Hi, baby. Cant' stay long. Gotta go out. I just wanted to…" She touches a picture of her love, her Faith, and smiles." They don't understand me, baby. I get that now. They never will. But you … you're special. You get me, I know you do. "
She runs her hands over the pictures, almost seeming to draw strength from them. Her eyes are closed, and she moans softly.
" Soon, baby, real soon. We'll be together. You and me. Just you and me. I'll make you so happy. I promise." She leans in and kisses the picture.
" You love me too, don't you?" Buffy's tone sounds worried. She pauses, as if waiting for an answer. Her face breaks out into a huge smile.
" I knew you did. I knew it. I never doubted you for a second. I could see it. See it in your eyes when you looked at me. " She frowns. " No, baby, I'm not cheating on you. Never. He's just a toy. And I think, he'll help us. Don't you see? Yes, I know. I know. But soon. I promise. Soon!" She kisses the picture again. " I long for your lips too, love. I love you!" She shakes her head. " No , I don't want to leave, but I've got to. They have to know I'm ok… yes… I'll be back as soon as I can. Promise! " She leans in , and kisses the picture again. " Mmmmm… bye"
She darts away.
Joyce takes a second to collect herself, then putting on a smile, opens the door.
" Hi, Billy. Buffy will be right down. She's almost ready," Joyce stands back, and waves him in. " come in, dear."
Billy enters, walking towards the living room. " Figures. I knew that 8 hours wasn't enough time for her to get ready. Should've made it 8 p.m."
" You know girls, Billy. There's always some last minute thing to take care of. She wants to be just perfect." She gives him the once over. " You're looking pretty spiffy, Billy."
" Thanks Mrs. Summers." He looks up the staircase. " You know, she doesn't have to try so hard. She's pretty much perfect anyway."
Joyce looks at him, and smiles. " You really care about her, don't you?"
" I'm that transparent, huh?" Billy asks, smiling shyly.
" I'm glad, Billy. She needs someone who cares about her." Joyce glances upstairs. "She's had it rough lately."
" is everything ok, Mrs. Summers? You seem a little upset."
" No, no, everything's fine, Billy." She looks upstairs again. " She's just taking a long time. I better go check."
She just stands up when Buffy appears at the top of the stairs. She's perfect again, and beaming.
" Hi, Ford," She calls down, and starts to descend. She almost dances down the stairs.
Ford stands dumbstruck. God, I forgot how beautiful she is. Dummy, don't stand here like a dork!
" Heya Summers," Ford speaks up, " Lookin' sharp."
" Really? You think?" Buffy blushes slightly, and smiles a shy smile. " I mean, I've had this forever…"
" Trust me, Summers. You're definitely wow. Totally wow material."
" You like?" She smiles, her eyes dancing merrily.
" Oh definitely. Definitely on my " I like" list. I'm thinking, pretty close to the top."
" You're so full of it, Billy" But Buffy is eating it up like candy. " Now, lets see you." She walks over, and moves around him. She makes " hmmm" noises now and then.
" Well?" Ford is amused and a little worried at the same time.
"Well, I gotta say, " Buffy deadpans. " You definitely exude cutesomeness, topped by a layer of pure adorableness." She nods, " Yup, you clean up pretty well, Ford. Might even keep you for awhile."
" Oh? So, I'm a keeper, then?"
" Let's not get crazy here, Ford. Just thinking, I won't throw you back. Not right away, anyway."
"Well, Billy. If my opinion means anything, and trust me, with my lovely but obviously blind and stupid daughter, it doesn't, but I'd say you're a keeper." Joyce winks at him.
" Well, thanks, Mrs. Summers. Good to see one of the Summer's women has good taste."
" Thanks, mom. Just feed his ego. His head'll never fit in the car now!"
" Don't sweat it Summers. Got a convertible."
" Got an answer for everything, don't you Ford? But I'll tell you," She walks over, and runs her finger up his sleeve, " there might just be a thing or two you can't figure out." She looks up at him and smiles.
Like you, Summers, Ford thinks to himself, don't think I'll ever figure you.
" Oh, well. I might have a surprise or two up my sleeve myself." Ford grins at her. " You never know."
Buffy just smiles at him.
" So, Ford, you gonna take me out, or just flirt with me all night?"
" Actually, I was hoping for both, "Ford says, putting an arm around her shoulders. " G'night Mrs. Summers. I won't keep her out too late."
" Oh for goodness sakes, Ford. I'm not like 16 anymore. I don't have a curfew."
" Izzat a fact?" Ford grins, " Maybe I'll believe it when you stop acting like 16."
" You're going to pay for that, " Buffy growls playfully. She walks over to her mother and gives her a hug. " Night mom. Thanks."
" You sure you're ok, honey?" Joyce asks in a low voice.
" Peaches, mom. I'm peaches." She winks.
" Night honey. Night Billy. Be careful."
Buffy and Ford disappear through the door.
Joyce wanders back to the kitchen bar, and leans against it heavily. She stares at the wall phone, trying to come to a decision. Finally she shakes her head, and sighing, makes her way upstairs.
2
Faith sits patiently on the exam table, arms in the air, as a youngish male nurse wraps her chest with a bandage. From the color of his ears, it's pretty obvious he's feeling the tiniest bit of embarrassment. You can be sure Faith isn't making it any easier for him.
" You know, cutie. Usually to get where you are? Guy's got to at least buy me dinner and couple of drinks."
The young nurse blushes, and continues to wrap her ribs.
" We're almost done here, miss. Then the doctor'll be in to talk with you."
" Done? Gee, and you didn't even give me a smooch. I'm hurt" Faith grins at him.
The nurse coughs, and Faith can't help chuckling out loud. Finished, he stands up quickly, looking ready to bolt.
" I'm just playing with you, baby," She smiles at him. " Could you hand me the gown, please? Unless you're not done looking?" She arches her brow.
The nurse gets her gown, and before she can say another word, exits though the door.
Faith starts laughing, then winces. She touches her ribs gingerly.
" Damn, can't even get a good laugh out these days." She frowns.
Dr. Yung enters the room and quickly comes to the X-rays stuck on the light box next to Faith. He exams them, tracing a line in the image. He nods his head, then walks over to Faith.
" So, doc, am I gonna live?" Faith cracks.
" Hmm? Oh of course your going to live Ms…" He checks the chart. " Lehane"
" No need to be formal, Doc. Everyone calls me Faith."
" Well, Faith, " He makes a note on the chart, " Seems like everything is running along pretty smoothly. You're healing up very well. Very quickly. That's a good sign." He frowns at the chart. " You're still having some pain?"
" Yeah… kinda here. " Faith points to her right side. " not much, just sometimes get a little twinge."
" May I take a look?"
" Well, Doc, like I was telling your nurse. That usually costs you dinner and drinks, ya know?"
Dr. Yung smiles briefly. " Very amusing. I see they didn't break your funny bone ."
" Doc! You made a joke. I think that's a first!" Faith laughs, then winces.
" Does that happen often?"
" You making a joke? First time, I think."
" Pain when you laugh."
" Well… not really…ok, kinda"
" That was very unclear. Yes or no would do."
" Yes."
" Ok, if you could remove your gown, please?"
Faith sighs, and removes the gown yet again. She's feeling a little chilly. Why is it they keep these rooms like refrigerators?
The doctor probes around her right rib cage with a finger. He hits a spot, and Faith makes a slight " uhhh" sound. Dr. Yung nods.
" Ah ha, Think we found our culprit."
He walks back over, and studies one of the X-Rays. " Ah ha" he mutters, then walks back over.
" Does this hurt?" He pokes the area again.
" Geeze, yes that's a little sore, " Faith flinches.
" Ok, I think I see our problem."
He motions for Faith to come over where the X-rays are hanging. He points out an area on her right rib cage.
" See that?"
" Uhhh… yeah, I guess. What am I looking for?"
"There, that little dark area near the 3rd rib?"
" Uh huh."
" Ok, " He turns, and puts a hand on each side of Faith's ribs. " Right here, there are a group of muscles connecting to your rib cage, ok?"
" Sure doc."
" Well, that little dark spot is a bruised muscle. I believe when you had your accident, the muscle became damaged, and bled a little. It's healing up, but it's going to be tender for awhile because there's some blood where it shouldn't be. It's causing a little swelling, and it's pressing near a nerve bundle."
The doctor has kept his hands on her ribs during the whole explanation. Faith smiles.
" Gee, doc? If you wanted to feel me up, you coulda just asked for a date."
Dr. Yung removes his hands.
" You can get dressed now, we're done."
"Again, I get pawed, and no kiss. I'm really getting bummed here."
Dr. Yung chuckles, and shakes his head
" I really like you, Faith. You're funny. But you've really got a strange sense of humor."
Faith chuckles, and winces. " Geeze, keep down with the funny doc, You're killing me here."
She buttons up her blouse, then slips into her jacket. They both walk into the hallway.
" Ok, bottom line, Doc. How long before I don't feel this anymore?"
" I'm going to prescribe you something for the pain. I know you have an active lifestyle, because you're a very fit young woman. However, please try to avoid straining that area for awhile, ok?"
Faith nods.
" If you're still having pain in 30 days, I want you to come back and see me."
" 30 days, Doc? Gee, don't know if I can go that long without seeing you, you charmer you!"
Dr. Yung smiles. " Very amusing. However, not sure my wife would be so amused."
" Oh, married? That's ok, Doc. Bring her along. I'm up for ménage a fun!"
" Goodbye, Faith, " Dr. Yung starts to turn away.
" Oh, Doc?"
" Yes, Faith?"
" Do me a favor? Keep the hands out of the freezer before you come and fondle my boobs next time. Really a turn off."
" Goodbye, Ms. Lehane" Dr. Yung turns away, chuckling.
Faith, smiling, turns to walk down the hall. She gets halfway down when she sees Willow talking to someone near the business office. Even from here, she can see she's looking upset. She starts over to walk over when she sees Willow throw up her hands, and then walk away. Curious, she increases her stride to catch up.
" Red, hey … Red! Wait up!"
Willow turns and looks at Faith, a frown on her face. She doesn't seem too happy to see her, but she doesn't walk away, either.
" Hey…what's up? You ok?"
" Yeah, I'm fine," Willow says, shortly. " What're you doing here?"
" Getting felt up by the medical staff. How 'bout you?"
Willow makes an impatient sound. " Really not in the mood for jokes, Faith. See ya," Willow turns on her heel, and walks away.
" Red….wait! Willow! " Faith calls out. " C'mon, I'm sorry, ok?"
Willow stops, and her shoulders slump. She turns around.
" Hey, I'm sorry too. Not your fault, really. Just, not feeling all to the happy right now. " She notes a little bulkiness under Faith's jacket. " Are you ok?"
" Yeah, just a little soreness around the ribs. Not a big. But really, are you ok?"
Willow stands there, having an internal debate to whether she should say anything, or just go.
" Umm… Red? That wasn't supposed to be a stumper."
Willow's face seems to collapse, her expression getting really sad.
" No, not really doing too good right now, Faith. Seems everything's going to hell, if you gotta know." She stands there, looking lost.
"Hey," Faith says softly, putting a hand on Willow's shoulder.
" I'll be ok, Faith. Just gotta figure things out. I better go."
Yet, she doesn't move, as if she doesn't know where to go.
" Hey, look… ummm… after one of these grope sessions by the Doctors of Sunnydale General Horniness, I could use a drink. How 'bout you?"
Despite herself, Willow snorts a short laugh. She looks up, her face tight.
"God yes, please?"
" … the worst thing? I just don't have a clue what I'm going to do, " Willow says. She fusses with her drink, trying to find something to keep her hands busy.
Faith and Willow have been at the Bronze for nearly an hour now. They're on their second drink. Willow is not a happy camper. At first, she was little hesitant to talk to Faith. But she's found her a sympathetic listener, and she's started to pour her heart out to her.
" The people from the Business office contacted me today, asking me to come down. When I got there, a very efficient clerk told me that Tara's insurance was running out, and that I would have to make other arrangements for her." Willow snorts," Yeah, that's gonna happen."
" Running out? Didn't you like pay the premiums?"
" Oh sure, I've been paying them right along. But seems there's a lifetime cap on benefits concerning continuing care. I didn't know that, and it seems I've hit the wall, so to speak," Willow sighs, and sips her drink. " I guess they were trying to be helpful, they gave me a bunch of brochures. But I've already checked out local facilities, and either they're warehouses for the mentally ill, or the costs are astronomical. I'm kind of screwed, I guess." She sighs. " Geeze, I just wish they'd informed me before it was the last minute. Maybe I could've found something. But now? Damn."
" So, what? They're just going to put her out in the street?
" No… well, yes, I guess. I mean, they were … well, no they weren't sympathetic, but they made it pretty clear that Tara had to be out by the time the insurance ran out. It's a small facility , and they need the bed space, I guess. So, now, I've got to find something else."
" Hey, it's gonna be ok, Red, " Faith says, reaching over to pat her hand. " You're damned smart. You'll think of something."
" Like what? How? I'm in school most of the day. Then I go to see her, and I work part time at nights to just make ends meet. That was when her care was covered. Now…" She shakes her head. " We're back to , I don't have a clue what to do."
"What about her family? Can they help?"
" You mean the Maclays? " Willow shudders. " believe me, that bunch? You don't want to get mixed up with. They make the Beverly Hillbillies look like futurists."
" Huh?"
" Never mind. Just it's pretty sure they won't be helping out. They didn't approve of Tara or her being a witch much. I figure Mr. Maclay, her father, would pretty much say this is what she had coming."
" Sounds like a real jewel, that guy. " Faith frowns. " Ok, they're out. How bout your parents?"
" You mean Sheila and Ira? The Famous Disappearing Rosenbergs?" Willow's voice has an edge to it.
" Sheila, Ira? You call your mom and dad by their first names?"
" That's mom's idea. Very much into the progressive movement. Very against stereotypical labels like Mom, Dad… Man, Woman…" Willow breaks a smile.
" Social worker?" Faith asks with some aspersion.
" Nope, worse. Clinical Psychologist. Always trying to ' understand ' me. That is, when they're around."
" Yeah, what's that about? You called them the famous disappearing Rosenbergs?"
"Well, they've been kind of into their own lives, ever since I was kid, anyway. They're often off and about. Right now, they've been gone for oh… what? Last 3 years or so?"
" Huh? You mean they just left?"
" Kinda. They're not into the big goodbyes. I came home one day, they and their clothes were gone. I think they left a note that they were moving to Carmel… or was it Carpinteria? Never can keep those two straight. Anyway, they haven't been back…"
" You sure we aren't related? Sound like what my mom did…course, I was 4 a the time… so, I guess no big loss…"
" You're mom just left you when you were four? Gosh, that's awful."
" I think she got a better offer. Ditch the kid, be my whore, and I'll I give you a case of Jack Daniels. Something like that…"
" That's harsh, " Willow says, squeezing Faith's hand.
Faith shrugs. " Mom loved her cracker jack, what can I say?"
" Cracker Jack? The Candy?"
" No , Red. Crack and Jack … Jack Daniels."
" Damn."
" Over it, Red, Honest." Faith smiles.
" Well I guess old Sheila and Ira weren't so bad. Didn't totally abandon me until I was 20 or so…"
" You don't know where they are at all?"
" I've got an emergency number, in case the house burns down or something…"
" I'd think this would qualify, don't you?"
"Ummm… can't ask them. They wouldn't help…"
" How do you know, til you ask Red?"
" Mom and dad? Dead set against me and Tara. Not loving the fact their daughter is gay."
" You're kidding, right?"
Willow frowns, " Do I look like I'm kidding."
" Geeze, I thought with your mom being a liberal and all, she'd be first in line in the Gay Pride parade marches and stuff…"
" Yeah, well, mom's a liberal, sometimes. Dad on the other hand, is an Orthodox Jew, Faith. He doesn't approve of his daughter being gay. Really doesn't approve. Pretty much disowned me when he learned about me and Tara."
" Now, that's harsh, " Faith says. " Disowning your flesh and blood? Never see me do that, if I had a kid… don't care what he or she did."
" Wanna adopt me?" Willow smiles, "I'm available!"
Faith chuckles.
" Mom pretty much supports him on this. She figures it's some kind of rebellion I'm having against them, so she says until I grow up, not to bother asking for help." Willow makes a face. " Ok, they didn't cut me off entirely. They take care of the taxes on the house, and dad sends me a check every month for some basic expenses. But they're not about to help me with Tara."
" I can't understand that. Guess I'm dumb. Maybe it's because I never really had family, but if I had a kid in trouble, I'd do whatever it took to help out. "
Willow looks at her, smiling a very small smile. " You really would, wouldn't you?"
" Look, I know the image I project. Lone wolf, don't need nobody. No ties, no strings, nothing. But that was a way for me to make it through, Red. I really … if I had someone that wanted me around , someone I cared for? Man, I'd give my left arm to be sure they were ok."
Faith picks up Willow's look
" What?"
"Nothing," Willow smiles enigmatically." Hey, wanna hear something funny?"
" Yeah, I think we could use a chuckle hear, you know?"
" Not funny laugh out loud, I mean funny strange."
" Sure, why not," Faith shrugs. " It's Sunnyhell, home of the strange."
" Mom and Dad won't accept me being gay, but they're ok with me being Wicca."
" Huh?"
" A witch."
" I know what Wicca is, Red. Not dumb. But you mean they accept you doing hoodoo voodoo stuff, but not you're girlfriend?"
" That's pretty much it. They figure that me being Wicca, is my expression of religion, and their very big on the Bill of Rights. But me being gay? Makes me a rebellious deviant. Go figure."
" You? Rebellious? Oh please, give me a break." Faith chuckles.
Willow doesn't laugh." Sometimes, I feel I wanna rebel.. Run away, start over fresh. Leave everything behind."
" Even Tara?"
Willow nods. " Makes me a pretty awful person, doesn't it?"
" Please! You got dumped with a load of responsibility… more than most see in a lifetime. And sometimes, you want to kick it. That's not awful, that's normal. You need a break is all."
" Tara's my fault Faith. If not for me, she wouldn't be like she is."
" Ok, she got her brains sucked out by some hell goddess. How's that your fault, exactly?"
" We fought, Faith. She was going to leave me. When we were fighting Glory, I turned to some pretty dark arts to try to find a solution to our problem. No help there, but I got addicted to the power, Faith. I liked the feeling it gave me. Too much. I really got into it, and Tara saw what was happening, and what it was doing to me. But I wouldn't listen to her. I ridiculed her, told her she was just jealous, and told her to get out. And she did. I regretted it after, and it took time, but we finally agreed to meet at the Multicultural fair to work out our problems. But… I never showed up. I was doing a spell, and didn't want to stop… and she got brain sucked by Glory… and I wasn't there to protect her. She was all alone, and scared, and I was too selfish and too 'busy' to be there for her. I let it happen. What kind of person does that make me?"
" Human, Red. You blew it, like we all do, but you're not the reason Tara got … hurt. That was just being in the wrong place, at the wrong time. You couldn't have made a difference. No one could've."
" No, it's my fault. I should've listened to her, to my friends, who warned me I was out of control. But it took that, and Dawn dying, to make me realize that what I was messing with was bad. Real bad. It took a long time for me to get back to myself. The magic had kind of taken me over. It was in my every cell. Probably still is, just below the surface. But after that… I swore I wouldn't use it anymore. I pretty much gave up magic. First real spell I've cast was when we brought back Buffy."
" Red, I know you feel terrible about what happened to Tara, but you're starting to sound just like Buffy."
" I don't get you?"
" Buffy is doing the same thing to herself that you are . She's blaming herself for stuff that she's not responsible for. Why do you think she's acting so strangely? Because she's carrying this massive guilt around. She thinks it's her fault because of what the vampire did."
" That's stupid!" Willow says, " she wasn't in control. The vampire was the killer."
" Any more stupid than you blaming yourself because Tara got screwed by this Glory god thing? I don't think so. You and her gotta start forgiving yourselves, or… well, you might both do things you don't really want to , to escape the guilt."
" What're you talking about?"
"Figure it, Red. If Buffy can't put what happened behind her, if she keeps obsessing over the deaths, and blaming herself, she might get herself vamped again to escape."
" No, she wouldn't do that! She wouldn't!"
" Guilt's powerful, Red, and it never leaves you alone. I know… and I earned my guilt. I had it coming."
" But you were… you had problems too, Faith."
" Doesn't mean I didn't do what I did. But it was me that did it. Buffy wasn't Buffy when the vampire killed all those people… including Xander. And you didn't hurt Tara… some fucking hell god did. But if you don't let go, what's to say that one day, to feel better, you won't use one of those spells that make you feel so good?"
" I wouldn't do that, Faith. I won't go back there again."
Faith doesn't say anything.
" I wouldn't!" Willow insists.
"Even if it meant you could be free of the guilt and pain, just for a little while? Kind of like running away, don't you think?"
Willow is silent for a moment, staring at Faith. Then she smiles ruefully.
" When did you get so smart?"
" Hey, guys. What's up?"
Faith and Willow look up sharply, to see Buffy and a guy standing by their table.
" Buffy?"
3
" Buffy?"
Ford gently tries to bring Buffy back to the dance their dancing. But she seems to be a million miles away, staring off at some table. Wonder what she's thinking about? Or if she's even thinking?
Buffy seems to rouse from a trance. " Hmmm? What? Oh god, Ford! I'm sorry. I guess I was daydreaming or something." She turns red in the cheeks. " Bad me."
" Was it a nice daydream?
" I guess…" Buffy shrugs.
"Did it involve me and you and some really interesting touching?"
" Now look who's got sex on the brain, huh?" Buffy teases him.
" Actually, Summers, I don't think you were daydreaming at all. You seemed to be focused on that table over there, " Ford points to where Buffy was staring." The one with the two women at it. Friends of yours?"
" Huh? No… well, yes, I guess their friends… I don't know… oh hell. Just it's kind of complicated right now. Don't you ever ask easy questions? Like the time, or what color goes good with blue, or something?"
" Ok, Summers, spill it. What's the 411 here? I mean, it's been fun so far… when you're here. But you've been kind of fading in and out all night, like a bad radio signal."
" Oh Ford, I'm sorry. I guess I've been a drag to be with. I've been having a good time, but things are a little weird right now. You know?"
'" Summers, with you, when aren't they? I'm not like, angry or anything. I'm just curious to know what I'm competing with in that head of yours. I want to help, if I can."
Buffy smiles at him. " You're sweet, Ford, but really, I can't go into it. Not right now. I'm sorry I'm being a drag. But, if you give me a second chance," She draws her finger down his shirt. " I promise to make it up to you."
" Thank you, Summers. My male ego appreciates the stroke. But really, I want to help. Ok, you can't tell me the sitch, but you can tell me if there's something going on between those women and you… right?"
" I guess…" Buffy sighs. " Ok, look. Can't go into details, but what happened kind of put me against my friends. Not like in a big blow up kind of way, but just… well, there's some awkwardness happening. And I … ok, mom was right, I've been sort of hiding out… and I want to go over and sound them out… see if maybe we can work things out… and I've been … geeze, Ford, sure you want to date me?"
Ford laughs. " Oh yeah. I wouldn't miss this insanity for anything."
Buffy looks at Willow and Faith's table again, and sighs. " I just don't know how to go over there without it looking forced, and then everyone is all on eggshells again, and weirdness ensues."
" Well, Summers. I wouldn't be allergic to meeting some of your friends. Maybe they could help me figure you out."
Buffy shoots him a mock annoyed look.
" You're right. Who could figure you out, huh?"
" Ok, Mr. Smarty. I'll introduce you. At last, you're good for something."
" Gee, Buff, thanks. I can just feel the love here." Ford mocks her.
Buffy hits him, and grabs his hand.
" You know, Buffy. This hitting has got to stop. I bruise easily."
" C'mon you," Buffy growls playfully.
She leads him towards the table.
4
" Buffy?"
Faith and Willow both are quite surprised to see her. They were convinced that Buffy had pretty much become hermit girl. Yet here she was, all dressed up, and with a guy, no less.
" Hey, Buff. I gotta say, you're lookin' pretty spiff tonight." Faith smiles up at her.
" Thanks Faith:" Buffy blushes, " You like?"
" Oh, yeah. I mean, for you. It's not me, but it looks good on you."
" Thanks."
" Yeah, Buffy, you really are looking nice tonight, " Willow smiles at her.
Buffy smiles back warmly, " Thanks Will. It's good to see you."
" You too, Buffy."
"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but I wanted you to meet someone. Faith, Will, This is Ford… Billy Fordham. Billy… the black haired cutie is Faith, and the red haired sweetie is Will… or Willow."
" Hi guys. Any friends of Summers… well, they've got to be a little nuts," There's good natured laughter, with Buffy looking a little annoyed, "And hey, I got the skinny on Buffy: the early years. So, if you want to learn her deep, dark secrets, well, just look me up." Ford smiles broadly at Faith and Willow.
" You guys got to forgive Ford here. He was kicked in the head by a horse when he was young… or should've been ,anyway."
"So, you guys go way back, then?" Willow asks.
" Oh yeah, I remember Buffy when she was in kindergarten. Actually, there's a funny story about that, involving chalk and some paper paste…"
" Don't you dare tell them about that, " Buffy colors red.
" Oh man, I'm thinkin' we can get lots of embarrassing stuff on the Buff outta this guy, " Faith grins. " This should be good. Pull up a chair and sit down."
Willow stands up. " Actually, guys, much as funny Buffy stories sound great, I really got to be going. Lots to do, and I've got an early day tomorrow."
" Hey, Will, don't go," Buffy says, catching her hand." Can't you stay for a little while? Hoping we could catch up, or somethin' "
" Sorry, Buff. I'd really like to, but I'm already kinda behind in my stuff, " She squeezes Buffy's hand. " Maybe another time?"
" Yeah, sure, Will." Buffy says, her tone a little flat. "Another time."
" Sorry, Buffy, really," Willow frowns a little.
" No big, Will, I understand," Buffy smiles at her.
" Hey, I better go with, Red. Kinda not safe out there. Still lots of vamps roaming around…" She catches Buffy's wince. " Sorry, Buff."
" No big, " She grins crookedly. " You should go . See she's safe."
" No, stay, Faith. I'm ok. I can get home by myself."
" Don't be silly, Will. Faith's right, not real safe out there."
" Really I'm ok, " Willow insists.
" Will, you know well as I how the vamps just love single women walking alone. I know you can take care of yourself, but wouldn't it be better if Faith tagged along? I think so."
" You sure, Buffy?" Willow asks.
" Hey, know what? Don't need a babysitter. Got Ford here to look after me. You guys go. I'll catch you later."
" Buff, no one meant you needed…" Faith begins.
" Guys? Just go? This is getting silly, " Buffy smiles. " I'll catch you later, ok?"
" Ok. Buffy, " Willow says, an odd expression on her face. " I'll call you."
" Yeah, see you back at the house later, Buffy." Faith says, her tone a little strange.
" Sure guys. Bye."
" Bye."
" Bye"
Faith and Willow leave.
Ford and Buffy sit in silence for a few moments.
" Well, I gotta say, Buff. You nailed it. That was weird."
" Yeah," Buffy says, her tone flat. " Aw, screw it. Know what? I tired of worrying what people think of me. " She sits silent for a beat or two. " Hey you know what? This place blows tonight. Wanna get outta here?"
" Sure I guess, Buffy." Ford looks at her. " Where to? I'm kinda new 'round here."
" Well, I know a place. We can have a lot more fun, you know?" She turns to him, and there's a wicked smile on her face. " You up for it?" She leans in, and rubs her hand on his thigh . " Or, can I get you up for it?"
" Sure, Summers." Ford for the first time, feels a definite weird vibe coming off Buffy. He feels just the tiniest bit of ice in his stomach. " I'm in."
"Mmmm, " Buffy leans closer to him, and kisses him softly. " Play your cards right, and you will be." She trails her fingers down the front of his shirt.
Is it getting warm in here?
Buffy stands up, and goes behind him. Leaning in to him, so she is sure he can feel her breasts pressing against him, she whispers in his ear. " Let's go, lover." She takes his hand.
Ford, somewhat confused, lets her lead him to the exit.
5
" Angel! Over here!"
Angel, close to the entrance, looks through the crowd, trying to see where the voice came from.
He is in the Ye Olde Hogshead Inn, A Genuine English Public House and Inn. He usually avoids these place because 1) there usually as genuine as a 3 dollar bill, and 2) there usually crowded, like this one, with tourists trying to soak up the English experience. Angel is never a big one for crowds, and this one is no exception. Wes insisted we meet here. God knows why. Why not just meet at the Bronze?
Angel weaves his way through the crowd, trying to locate the spot where Wes' voice came from. He finally sees him sitting in a booth towards the back. He heads over, narrowly ducking a mis-thrown dart. Idiots!
He finally finds Wes standing by a booth , facing a dart board.
" So, Wes, I'm here. Why here?"
" I'm sorry?"
" Why meet here? Why not at the Bronze?"
" Is there a problem with meeting here, Angel?" Wes throws a dart.
" I suppose not. It's just creepy."
" Creepy? How so?"
" These genuine English pubs. Always give me the creeps. I keep expecting Holtz to show up."
" Well, no worry about that. This place is hardly genuine. They chill the Guinness" Wes, after some contemplation, throws another dart.
" Anyway, I'm here. Are we going to talk, or play darts?"
" Talk," Wes tosses another dart, " ever play darts, Angel?"
" Yes, stupid game, " Angel impatiently takes the remaining darts from Wes. Without really looking, he tosses them at the dart board. They hit the bulls- eye. Wes, startled , stares.
" It's a simple game, granted, but has it's elegance, " Wesley goes to retrieve the darts. " You line up, throw your dart, and then move on to the next toss. You learn from each toss and adjust…"
" Is this going to be a " Life is a dart game " speech, Wes?"
" I see, " Wes slides into the booth, waving to the other empty bench. " Please sit, Angel. We'll get right to it, then."
Angel sits, facing Wes. He has an impatient expression on his face. " So, what's this about, anyway Wes?"
" I believe you already know, Angel. It's time to come back to L.A. You're work here is done."
" No, it's really not done, Wes."
" How do you figure that? You've got Buffy back to the land of the living, now it's time to get back to your own life."
" What life, Wes? As you and Gunn are so fond of pointing out, I don't have a life. I sit and I brood, and then I beat up and kill monsters, then go back to brooding. I can do that here as well as there. So, what's the deal?"
" You know that isn't true, Angel. We have a mission down in L.A. Gunn and I have been doing the best we can to keep things going, but you're the heart of the mission. We need you back there."
" They need me here, Wes. You guys can handle it."
" Need you?"
" I have to keep her safe, Wes. I can't… I won't let what happened to her happen again."
" What happened to Buffy is unfortunate…"
" Unfortunate, Wes? Losing your car keys is unfortunate. What happened to Buffy…shouldn't have happened."
" I agree. But it did, and there's nothing you or anyone could've done to stop it."
" Not true. I could've warned her about Spike, how …devious he was. I knew he hadn't changed, not really . How could he? He didn't have a soul! I thought… he was harmless… he couldn't hurt her. He seemed to help her… at least in battles. I didn't know it had gotten to a different level … but if I'd been here, I would've, and could've stopped it. But I didn't…"
" So, it's your fault, then, what happened to Buffy?"
" Yes, " Angel says softly.
" Crap."
" Excuse me?"
" That's a load of manure, Angel. There is nothing you or anyone could've done to stop it. Buffy isn't a child anymore, Angel. She's a grown woman. She has her life, and makes her own decisions. Sometimes, she'll make mistakes. They have consequences, and she has to pay them. But it's her life, Angel, and her mistakes. She has a right to it."
" A right to die? To become a soulless vamp, a cold-blooded killer, and then restored to face it all alone? You have no idea what's she's going through, Wes. What this must be doing to her. I should've stopped it before; I'm not making that mistake again."
" How would you stop it Angel? Really, be logical. How could you protect her absolutely from becoming a vampire again, unless you locked her in a room or a cage, and never let her out? Is that what you want to do, Angel?"
" Of course not. But I can be with her, follow her, keep her safe…"
" 24/7 Angel? 365 days a year? How? Remember your little issue with sunlight? Who protects her then?"
" No vampires in sunlight , Wes."
" But there are other things that could get her. And it doesn't have to be a demon or supernatural creature. Lots of human monsters out there, Angel. What about that?"
" Maybe I could get cable in that room…"
" Angel, stop it. You're obsessing over her again. You know you're doing it, and all the lurking around and skulking in the shadows only proves it. "
" It's obsessing to want to keep her safe?"
" She has friends and family to keep her safe, Angel…"
" They didn't before!"
" … and Faith is here now to keep things safe. What are you going to do that she can't?"
" I could…"
" You could what?"
Angel goes silent.
" Look, Angel, I don't want to be hard on you. I know you feel terrible about what happened, but there is nothing you can do here now except to smother her. How can she get past this with you around her all the time as a reminder of what happened, and what she did? You have to let her go, Angel. You saw that once; I need you to see it again."
" I know, " Angel murmurs, " It's just hard, Wes, to know she became the thing she hated most. She feared being turned, Wes. It was her biggest fear. And it happened to her. And I can't help feeling if I'd only done something different, it wouldn't have happened to her. She has to live with it, and it hurts to know she's suffering. She's the only woman I ever loved; probably the only one I ever will. And I hate to see her hurt."
" Then let her heal. While you're here, she can't"
" I know," Angel sighs heavily, " Faith's here. She can keep a lid on things. Maybe…"
" Maybe what?"
" Maybe she can work with Buffy. I know Buffy doesn't have her slayer powers anymore, but she spent 7 years doing it. She could work with Faith, get her hand back in it. That might make it easier for her…"
" That's not a bad idea. Buffy had civilians go out with her… and Buffy's experienced. She could be an asset for Faith."
" They might even bond this time. There won't be all that ' I'm a better slayer than you' competition stuff. And by sticking with Faith, I'd know she'd be safer…" He looks at Wesley. " Thanks, Wes."
" That's alright, Angel, " Wesley clears his throat." That's what friends do."
" So, you guys need me back?" Angel asks.
" Well, it'd be good to have you back, though we've managed without you…"
" Things are falling apart, huh?"
" I never said that, Angel."
" I'm gone a couple of months, and you guys fumble the ball…"
" That's not true. We've been on top of things while you were gone…"
" I see I need to come back, and get things back in order. I swear, a guy takes a few months off, and everything just goes to a hell dimension…"
" Oh, God…" Wes groans.
" I guess Angel Investigations is just … Investigations … without Angel. " Angel gets up, " Well, you coming?"
Wes gets up, and they start heading for the door.
" It's a good thing I'm coming back. I see now that you guys are simply lost without me. No rest for the weary…"
" It's a good thing you have a convertible, Angel," Wes says with some acid, " Otherwise we'd never get you into it."
" Face it Wes, you guys need me. You really, really need me. Should've known I couldn't leave the agency in charge with an English guy. They always bollix up everything…"
Wes just sighs and rolls his eyes.
6
" Wanna talk about it?"
Willow and Faith are walking down a residential street towards her house. The night is bright, there's a full moon in the sky. The only sounds are their footfalls.
" Talk about what?" Willow asks.
" Why as soon as Buffy showed up tonight, you bolted?" Faith looks at her.
"That's ridiculous. Like I said, I've got a lot to do. And I need to figure out what I'm going to do now. And, I need some rest. Buffy has nothing to do with it."
They walk along quietly for awhile.
" She looked good tonight, " Faith finally says, " sort of like herself."
" Yeah, she did," Willow agrees.
" Is that what bothered you?"
" Huh? What're you talking about? It was good she looked… well, good."
" Ok," Faith nods her head. " Was it the guy?"
" Faith, what's this about? I'm really not getting you."
" I'm just trying to figure what made you jump and leave like someone lit a fire under your butt, Red."
" Are we back to that?" Willow asks, sounding irritated. " I told you I've got things to do. What do you want, an affidavit or something?"
"What?"
"What?"
" What do you have to do?"
"Things. Lots of things. Oodles and boodles of things, Faith."
" Like what?"
" You want a list?"
" No, but … just tell me something you've got to do that's so important you had to jump up and leave."
" You realize, Faith, I don't like have to answer to you, " Willow arches a brow. " but, ok. … ummm… housework."
" Housework?"
" You know, dishes, cleaning, straightening up, dusting…"
" You do housework at 10 o'clock at night?"
" Sorry, Faith. I'm kind of on a tight schedule these days. I do things as I can get to them."
" Housework. That was what was so important that you couldn't spend, oh, what? 10 minutes talking to your friend?"
" If I want to get to bed before midnight, yeah."
" It's that important? It couldn't have waited?"
" I like a clean house, Faith, " Willow says, " sorry, some of us don't want to live like slobs."
Faith ignores the dig. " So, a clean house is more important than hanging out for a few minutes with the girl who's supposed to be your best friend?"
" I'm doing the best I can, Faith, " Willow's irritation is evident. " There'll be other times to hang with Buffy."
" When?"
" What? I need to make up a Buffy schedule now? I don't know… when I get some time."
" So, there hasn't been 5 or 10 minutes in your busy schedule in the last two weeks that you could've dropped by the house and said Hi, how are you to Buffy? You remember, the one who went through all sorts of hell recently? That Buffy?"
" What's the deal? Why all the questions? What do you care?"
" Why don't you?"
" I do care!"
" Oh, that's kinda strange. Seems it was you that was begging me not to stake her, went to all the trouble to find a spell to cure her, and now… when she's back, and really needs a friend, her friend, her best friend for… how many years?"
" Seven"
" Seven years, now all of a sudden, you've got zero time for her. So that kinda bugs me. I don't get it. Why're you avoiding her?
" Not avoiding her. Been busy. Have you heard anything I've said?"
" Yeah, that important housework. Got it."
" Darn it, what do you want me to do? Skip school? Blow off Tara, maybe lose my job, to see her? When do I get time to do it, Faith?"
" And no one else is busy? Giles managed to get by… a number of times. Angel has been by… even Amy, who I don't think knows Buffy all that well checked in on her. But strangely absent? Her bestest bud in the universe."
" Know what, Faith? I'm close enough home now, think I can make it the rest of the way myself. Why don't you leave now?"
"So, that's it? No answer? When it gets too hot, it's ' get lost, Faith'? Ok fine, whatever, " Faith turns around and starts walking off. " Great friend you are!"
Something snaps in Willow. " I am a great friend!" She yells at Faith, " I'm her best friend. But what does that matter? All she sees is you! All she wants is YOU!"
Faith stops, and turns around. " What the hell are you talking about?"
" Oh, c'mon, Faith. Don't tell me you don't see it."
" See what?"
" She is like obsessed with you."
" Ok, can I have some of the drugs you're taking? Maybe I can understand you then."
" You can't be that blind . Nobody's that blind!"
" Well, just call me Stevie Wonder, because I'm sure not seeing what you see."
" You think I haven't been by? I've been by, you were just out. Probably that's the only reason she saw me. The whole time I was there, it was Faith this, Faith that, Faith, Faith, Faith! She wouldn't stop talking about you. Nothing about her feelings, what she was going through, none of that. No. It was Faith. It was like you walk on water or something. I somehow escaped before getting recruited in the cult of Faith. So I wonder, why stop by? She doesn't need me, she has her idol to worship at already."
Faith stands there for a moment, trying to absorb the onslaught. Then her head starts to shake slowly, a shudder runs through her, and she makes a disparaging noise.
"Ok, you had me there for a second. That's just nuts. We aren't that close, never been. This is some kind of jealousy thing with you. Sorry I live there, but I just wanted somewhere to live where the roaches don't hold hands. But … nothing else is going on. God, where do you get your insane-o ideas, anyway?"
" Oh, insane-o ideas? What about tonight?"
" Huh? What're you talking about? She was with a guy… whatsisface… car guy."
" Ford"
" Yeah, him."
" Never heard of someone trying to get someone's attention by making them jealous?"
" Huh? Why would I be jealous of car guy? I mean, geeze, I don't want to date her."
" Doesn't mean she knows that, Faith. Ok, when she got to the table. First thing she's looking at you. Then, when you compliment her, I swear she turned 15 shades of happy. When I did, it was " Thanks, Will". Seeing a pattern here?"
"Look, Red, I'm sorry if you feel she's blowing you off, or something, but this idea of yours is …" but much as she tries, Faith can't live in denial land. Little things, things she just dismissed as Buffy being in recovery come back to her. The way Buffy always seems to focus on her when she comes into a room. Her seeking her out for advice, following her around.
" Oh, god," Faith suddenly feels a little weak in the knees, and a little sick. " Oh god." She sits down heavily on the sidewalk.
" Faith!" Willow comes to her, kneeling. " Are you ok?"
" This is sick, " Faith groans, " This is totally sick!"
" Faith, wait. Don't get all wigged now. Wait!"
" Don't get wigged? Buffy is pulling a Glenn Close on me, and I'm not supposed to be wigged?"
"No, Faith, I don't think it's like that. Look. Maybe your right. Maybe there's a little jealousy on my part working here. But, maybe it'll pass too." Willow rubs her shoulder.
" What're you talking about?"
" Look, think of it this way. She's been through hell, and you saved her. At least that's the way she's seeing it. You brought her back from being a vampire, and she's glomming on you because she's got a little crush on you. A hero worship thing, you know? Like some get for a good teacher, or something. She's confused and needy right now, and she needs something to cling to. "
" I don't like being clung to, Red."
" I get that. But right now, she can't help it. It's probably just a phase in her recovery… you know, like when you're in the hospital and you kinda fall in love with the nurse because she's there and taking care of you… that kind of thing. And once she gets out and back into it, it'll fade away."
Faith just looks at her.
" Ok, and I'll admit. Some jealousy here. Cuz I've been her best friend for 7 years, and all of a sudden it's all about you, you know? I mean, you guys never even really got along. But she's all sappy over you. And I'm wishing it were a little bit for me, because right now, things are so crazy and confused, I could use that."
Faith sits there, trying to process all of this. She finally hauls herself up, and brushes off.
" You know? I guess I'm dumb. I just don't get it. Ok, I mean, I see what you mean, and I guess it's true. And hey, I'm sorry that it's me she decided to get all stupid about. Trust me, it just makes me a little crazy, thinking about it. And, I think there is some jealousy on your part, coloring the story, so I'm going to chalk up some of what you said to that. But, ewww. I don't want to be Buffy's hero, or anything else."
" Look, it's just a phase. It'll pass, I'm sure."
" Good. How can we make that go like, faster?"
" Well, tonight was a good sign. Her being out with Ford. I think her getting out, doing things, getting back into life, will get her confidence up, and maybe get her past this little crush."
" Ok, so, are you going to help me with this? I mean, get Buffy back to just really not liking me too much? I'm really more comfortable that way, you know?" She looks hard at Willow, "Are we done with the jealous thing? Believe me, NO INTEREST HERE IN BLONDIE. Is that clear enough for you?"
" Yeah, I'm really sorry, ok? I … everything is just so screwed up right now. I guess I'm kinda like Buffy, I'm needing something to make sense to me. And I lashed out at you. I didn't mean it. I know we just got to get her back out there, and it'll be fine."
" I'm taking that as a yes, then?"
" Yes."
" Ok. Good. Then we'll do this, " Faith pauses. " Well, I guess I'll seeya Red." Faith turns and starts walking away.
" Faith… wait!" Willow runs after her. She stops in front of Faith.
" What?"
" Ummm… ok, when you came here? I wasn't really thrilled you were here."
" No kidding? And I thought those knives you were throwing at me with your eyes were just you're way of saying " Howdy, Faith, how ya been?"."
" C'mon, Faith, don't get sarcastic on me, ok?"
" Sorry, but really not getting what you want to say."
" Well, let me say it then," Willow smiles, " All I wanted to say was that, I wasn't happy you were here. I was kind of rude to you about it. I didn't think it was a good idea unleashing you on the world again."
" So far, Red, you're not doing much but getting me a little annoyed. Where's this going?"
"I just wanted to say that I see I was wrong. You've changed, and I didn't… haven't … given you your creds for that. I wanted to say I'm sorry."
" Don't sweat it Red. Not necessary, ok?"
" Yes, it really kinda is. See, I really liked tonight, up til Buffy showed up. It's the first time I've been able to talk to anybody about things. I… it's been really tough, you know? And with Buffy gone, I didn't have anyone I could talk to. Not girl to girl. I really missed that. And you gave it to me, and … aw crap, this is hard. I'd really like to be your friend, ok?" Willow blushes.
" I thought we were, " Faith shrugs. " Aren't we?"
Willow smiles. She moves closer to Faith, and touches her arm. " Yeah, I guess we are."
" Ok, uhhh… well… seeya," Faith suddenly feels a little nervous. " Gotta motor."
" Faith?"
Faith sighs. " We're not going to hug now, are we?"
Willow chuckles, " No. Not if you don't want to."
"Ok, so what do you want?"
" Just…" Willow moves closer, and her fingers brush lightly on Faith's sleeve. " I kinda get why Buffy's crushing on you."
" Yeah, me too. She's nuts." Faith is feeling a whole lot more nervous now.
" No, I don't think so. I think she sees what I see. A very strong, beautiful and incredibly alive woman. One who's funny, and smarter than she thinks, and … well, frankly, kinda sexy."
Faith forces a yawn. " Wow, tired. Who'd a thought? Gotta go." Faith starts off down the street.
"Faith!" Willow catches up to her. She stands in front of her. " Hasn't anyone every told you that before?"
" Yeah. Usually when they're trying to get me drunk and into bed."
Willow smiles warmly. " Don't worry. I'm not trying to get you into bed. I just wanted to thank you." She leans in, and holding Faith's head with her hand, kisses her softly and briefly on the lips. " Thank you. Good night."
Willow walks around Faith and disappears down the street.
Faith doesn't watch her go. She just stands there, bemused.
This whole fucking town is crazy.
She walks down the street, into the night.
To be continued.