The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
As seen by Sheogorath
In the waning years of the third era of Tamriel, a child is born on a certain day to uncertain parents...
"Wait, what do you mean? Were they not sure they wanted to have him?"
What? Oh yes, they had considered an abortion. Now, anyways-
"-They had that back then? And what was the date exactly?"
Huh? I dunno, they didn't have a calendar okay? Now then-
"-They didn't have calendars but they could perform abortions?"
Jesus #$%& Christ kid I'm tryin' to tell a story. Why don't you shut your mouth and listen for one second in your life?
"..."
That's better. Now, as I was trying to say, the Imperials that now ruled much of Tamriel had sent him from his native land, first by carraige, and now by boat...to Morrowind, ignorant of the role he was to play in the land.
"Who's this 'Jesus Christ'? Is he the person you're telling the story about?"
GOD DAMN IT KID! Shotgun blast in the face
"Wake up...why are you shaking? Are you alright? Wake up," he heard a voice calling. He woke up to the face of a Dunmer.
"OMG, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT SCAR! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!" he screamed.
"Oh this?" he asked touching the scar with his fingertips, "Well...don't you remember last night?"
"WHAT?!"
"Oh, I guess that concusion you suffered must have wiped your memory. My names Jiub," he said.
"Wait, what about that whole last night thing?" he asked in fear.
"Huh? Oh, I was just kidding," Jiub explained.
"Doesn't feel like it..." he said rubbing his ass. "By the way, where are we?"
"You really don't remember? We're on a prisoner/slave transport ship to Morrowind. Speaking of which, I think I've heard them say we've reached the place, I'm sure they'll let us go," Jiub said.
Suddenly they noticed an Imperial guard walking up to them, "This is where you get off, come with me," he said.
"Sweet! We're finally getting off this damn boat!" Jiub said excited, "I filled practically all of these buckets with puke when I was sea sick, and the first thing we can do when we get off is get married, just like you promised!" he said to the other prisoner/slave.
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Alright Jiub, that's enough out of you. Come with me," the Imperial said to the prisoner/slave.
"Huh, but what about him?" he asked pointing to Juib.
"Oh, we'll take good care of him," the Imperial said assuringly. He tried to rush him up to the upper deck.
"Goodbye Ndugu!" Juib said cheerfully just before the door was closed, locking he and the guard inside. Suddenly Ndugu heard the sound of a gun being fired and the guard came out with blood on his armor. He glanced around and closed the door behind him.
"Get yourself up on deck and let's keep this as civil as possible," another guard said noting Ndugu's dark brown skin.
"What, just 'cause I'm black means I'm gonna start robbing and pillaging everyone in this town?!" he argued. He bitch slapped the guard and went up to the upper deck (note: this does not count as punching a guard, and he wasn't drunk), where he saw another Redguard waiting for him. "Oh what's up my brotha'?" he said cheerfully.
"Uh hi..." the Redguard replied, "This is where they want you, head down to the dock and he'll show you to the Census Office,"
"But...it's right there at the end of the dock..." he said with a curious smile.
"Well...we can't take the risk of you running around on your own," the Redguard said.
"WHAT?! NOW BROTHA'S DON'T TRUST ME?!" he yelled. The Redguard shook his head in defeat and finally kicked Ndugu in the chest, sending him flying towards the Census Office. He flew over the guard's head and smashed through the door, landing at another Imperial's feet, only this one was clad in a robe rather than armor. Since Ndugu was lying face up he could see up the robe. He got up instantly.
"OMG, AT LEAST WEAR SOME UNDERWEAR UNDER THAT THING!" he yelled.
"If it feels good, do it," he responded. "We've been expecting you. You'll have to fill out these papers before you're officially released," he paused when he saw that Ndugu was black. "You do know how to read and write don't you?"
"GOD DAMN IT!" Ndugu began, he made his usual banter for about half an hour before the guard inside the office finally knocked him out from behind.
"Thank God," the man said. "I'll just fill these out..." he said as he wrote various information on the papers. He finished and smiled at his wit, for he had filled his information to suit the characteristics of a ballerina. "Hey, check out what I put for his class," he said to the guard. They both chuckled and suddenly Sellus Gravvius burst into the room.
"Do I hear laughter?!" he yelled.
"No sir!" the two said startled.
"Good! Now give me the prisoner," he said grasping Ndugu's crumpled form. He turned around one last time, "NOW GET BACK TO WORK!"
"Hard ass..." the guard muttered.
"I HEARD THAT!" Sellus yelled from the other room.
Shortly thereafter...
"Now then..." Sellus said laying Ndugu's unconscious body gently on the bedroll in the next room, "I heard that you had quite the reputation for entertaining our Jiub on the ship..." he looked at the forms, "Ooh, a ballerina! You're just the kind of man I've been...lusting for," he said passionately. "How would you like a little cream in your coffee?" he asked seductively. Somehow Ndugu heard the racially tuned comment and snapped out of his coma, in doing so headbutting Sellus in the face and knocking him out.
"WHAT IS UP WITH EVERYBODY TALKING SHIT ABOUT US BLACK FOLK?!" he yelled. Suddenly he noticed the unconscious Sellius and took all of his Imperial Templar armor, then left the building, leaving the forms next to the body. When he went outside in the courtyard he saw a barrel, and remembered how he needed to use the bathroom.
"Damn that Jiub using all of the buckets for his puke," he muttered, whipping it out. Suddenly he noticed a ring inside the barrel. It was enchanted so he assumed that it might be worth some money. He took it out before doing his bussiness and went into the next part of the Census Office. He looked around and saw a key. He took that too. He left and found himself in the city of Seyda Neen, where his adventure in Morrowind would begin.
That was the end of Chapter One. Hope you liked it so far. Do you know who Ndugu is? I'll give you a hint: he's a foster child in a Jack Nicolson film. That might give it away but w/e, funny thing is that I actually have a character just like him on my game, except he's a Gangsta. Lvl 42! My most powerful char. (even though he was actually intended to be a joke...)