Mirror

by Norwalker

Suppose Buffy lost one of those fights? Suppose a Vampire with a wicked sense of humor decided to play a nasty little trick, and change things forever? No specific pairings, though the Chosen Two both play a major role in the story, along with Willow

9. Chapter 9

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 9

Disclaimer: The original characters appearing in " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and " Angel" are the sole property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. Original characters, and the story, are the property of the author. Oh and hey, writing this for love and insanity.

"We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves."

Goethe

1

" You're kinda quiet."

Willow turns off the ignition and sits next to Faith. They've barely said a word on the way over.

" Is it something I did?" Willow asks, looking at Faith.

" No…no" Faith reaches over, patting her leg.

Ok, that's so good to keep things on a rational level. Yeah, sure it is!

" No, I'm just kind of weirded out by tonight…" Faith trails off.

" I know, " Willow says," I mean, Buffy nearly getting killed in the alley… enough to make one shudder just a little".

" That's just it," Faith turns to her, " Something's off about that. Something's not right."

" Faith, I don't understand. What're you saying?"

" it's weird, I know. But it felt like it was all stage managed."

" You mean, like it was some kind of game?"

" Something like that… aw, I'm just being stupid. You know?"

" I don't think you're stupid, " Willow says. " I mean, you've got all these slayer instincts, you know? "

" That's just it. I went out the back door. And Buffy screams for help. So I go for her, but then she's like warning me about some vamps in the shadows. Huh? I mean, why aren't they attacking her?"

" Maybe they saw you? Wanted to jump you or something?"

" Yeah, that's what I thought too. But I only saw the two when I went out. Where were the others? Why weren't they attacking Buffy, too?"

Willow's brow furrows. " Well, you know, Vamps have that super hearing thing going. Maybe they heard you coming?"

" Maybe…" But Faith doesn't sound convinced. "Ok, so with Buffy's warning I looked at the vamps hiding out. Next thing I know, Buffy's free, and the two vamps holding her? Dust. Why didn't that happen before?"

" Maybe there were more, and she already dusted a few when you came out, and these two happened to have just grabbed her."

" Maybe. But …when I hit the vamps in the shadows, one slipped by me, and got Buffy. And she wasn't doing so well against him. He had her on the ropes, ready to bite when I dusted him."

" She's not a slayer anymore, Faith. Maybe she just ran down… who knows how many she took out before you got there."

" Well, ok, if the attack was against her, why so many? I mean, she's just a human now. Why'd whoever set it up, send so many?"

" Well, maybe they all wanted in, just because they felt betrayed."

" Or maybe, it was supposed to be against me?" Faith looks away," Maybe they were trying to bag the slayer."

" Ok, Faith, maybe you are in paranoid city now. I mean, you seem to be saying you think Buffy had something to do with this, she set it up?"

"No… You're right, she almost got killed. I'm being an idiot."

" No, you're not. Things don't seem to fit, and you're trying to figure it out. I can see that, so don't get down on yourself, ok?"

"I just wish I could figure out why it felt wrong to me," Faith sighs.

" Well, Faith, maybe you're right. Maybe it was aimed at you. Maybe they saw you come in, and decided to group together to take you out. You've been busy making life miserable for them. And maybe, they set it up so you'd follow that vampire out. But it was Buffy instead, and they'd seen you together, so they held her, until you showed up."

" Ok…yeah, that works. But why didn't she like yell " TRAP!" or something. She called for help, and then warned me about the others as I was charging in. And I swear I heard some of them calling her a traitor, and stuff. And if it was meant for me, why'd she say it was part of her old crew?"

" Maybe it was, Faith. And maybe they were after both of you. and maybe she got a little scared and panicked, you know?"

" Yeah, you're right. I'm just being stupid, " Faith frowns. " No wonder she calls you big brain. You're pretty darn smart."

" Thanks, "Willow blushes. " But it's not stupid to question things if they don't seem right. Just, sometimes you gotta dig to find the answer."

" Even so, I should've know better than to suspect she might … you should've seen her at the magic box the other day…"

" What do you mean?"

" Oh, the first day we were supposed to go out looking for the nests…"

It takes about 15 minutes, but Faith explains about the fight, and the stuff after at the magic box, carefully editing out the raging hormone sexual vibe stuff. By the end, Willow's face is ashen under her freckles.

" That poor girl!" Willow says, sad and angry at the same time. " God what monster did to her. I'm glad she dusted him, or I'd make him pay in a special hell all his own!"

Faith gets a little nervous, because she swears she sees Willow's eye's go black.

Ok, freaking here, just a little

" Yeah, and the worst thing was her blaming herself. Saying she was the reason it happened, and for what happened after."

" Sounds like she's suffering from PTSD, " Willow says.

" I'm sorry, is that like a sexual disease?"

" No! Post traumatic stress disorder. Often times victims of traumatic experiences will not be able to deal with them. One symptom is the victim blaming themselves for what happened. Taking on guilt, because it's a way of avoiding dealing with what actually happened."

" She's…nuts?"

"No, but she might need help. Professional help." Willow frowns. " We'll just have to keep an eye on her. If she starts doing crazy things…"

" Too late for that, Red."

" I mean, really crazy things. Trust me, what she's been doing now has only been ways of coping. I'm talking thrill seeking, or a radical shift in behavior, or serious depression, or suicidal thoughts. Stuff like that. We start seeing that, we might have to step in for her own good."

Damn!

" Look, Red, gonna tell you something. Don't know what it means, but it doesn't seem like the normal Buffy."

Faith tells her about the bedroom , and other stuff that's been going on. Willow is a little wide eyed by the end.

" Ok, gonna admit, that doesn't sound like her. But I talked to her too, and maybe she's not lying. Maybe it's a carry over from her being a vampire. Maybe she just really does love sex. A lot."

" I dunno, it's all just weird to me…"

" Weird?" Willow catches a note in her voice. " Faith, how do you feel about all this?"

"Huh?"

" Ok, well, what kind of feelings do you have about being with Buffy a lot during these past few weeks?"

" I dunno. Kinda nice, in some ways. She's been really good on the slaying stuff. Other times, kinda wiggy."

" Times like maybe you feel she's coming on to you?"

" Maybe," Faith's voice drops to just above a whisper.

" Do you think, maybe, you're developing some feelings for her… umm… warm feelings, and the idea might be wigging you out? And maybe all the questions are you're way of trying to avoid feeling these things?"

" I dunno…I'm really kind of confused when it comes to that. I mean… right now? With what we're doing? I'm thinking I'd rather just keep it friendly…and not much more… and I think Buffy agrees."

" Ok, " Willow says quietly, " but you know …it's not unusual to work with someone closely, like you and Buffy do, and for a bond to develop… and possibly some intense feelings happen." Willow puts her hand on Faith's , " And for those feelings to be reciprocated."

" Re-who?" Faith asks. And she's very aware of Willow's hand on hers.

" Sorry. Returned in kind. i.e. Buffy might feel the same about you."

" Oh." Faith sits for a moment, and realizes that somehow Willow fingers have laced with hers. " Is this that crush thing you were mentioning before?"

" Yeah, I mean, hey who could blame her? You're a very attractive woman, really alive and funny, and smart, and it'd be very easy to be attracted to you…" Willow trails off. Like, for instance, me?

" That's funny, because Buffy was kind of saying you were crushing on me."

" Oh." Willow is suddenly doing her best not to look at Faith. But her hand doesn't move away.

Faith, however notices the avoidance.

"Red?" No response." Willow? Would you look at me, please?"

" I'd really kinda like not," Willow says, still looking out the driver's side window.

" Is it true?" Faith asks, softly. " Are you kind of crushing on me?"

" Maybe?" Willow says in a very soft voice.

" Oh." Faith is staring straight ahead again. She's trying to process this, but Willow's hand laced with hers? Major distraction. Also, major tingling. And…"You know, that isn't really freaksome to me."

" Huh?"

" The idea. I mean, you're cute, and funny… and charming, and you have the prettiest eyes."

" You think so?" Willow turns to her, just as Faith is turning to Willow.

" Oh." The say in unison.

Both get a major blush.

" And your smile?" Faith goes on.

They don't even realize it, but they're moving together.

" It's just so …and when you smile…the room seems to light up…did …you…know…"

Faith doesn't finish, because their lips have come together. It's a warm friendly kiss. And then Willow's mouth opens, and it goes to another level. Faith's tongue slips into her mouth, and then Willow's sucking on it, enjoying the taste. And then Willow's tongue finds its way into Faith's mouth, and Faith is sucking hers."

Mmmmm… this is nicer than I thought it'd be, Willow thinks, And I was thinking major niceness. And Oh my… does she know kissing or what? And her lips…so soft…and…

Willow pushes Faith away, breaking the kiss. She's panting just a little.

" Maybe we shouldn't be doing this? I mean… Buffy and feelings and…"

Then they're kissing again, and Willow sighs softly

Faith for her part is feeling her heart start to rev in her chest, and she's loving the way Willow sucks on her tongue, and the way Willow's tongue tastes…and she's wondering why her nipples are so damned hard.

The kiss breaks again, and both are panting pretty heavily.

" Ummm… ok, maybe I should be going home now…"

" Maybe"

And then they're kissing again, and Faith finds herself starting to lay back on the seat…and her head clips the side of the door.

" Ow!" She cries out. She sits up, rubbing her head.

" Maybe we shouldn't be doing that, " Willow ways. " Poor head" She kisses Faith's head.

" Or maybe, we shouldn't be doing that in here?" Faith whispers softly.

Without knowing how, they find themselves outside of the car. And then, Willow seems to magically be in Faith's arms, and Faith is lifting her and carrying her. All while their lips are locked together. And their tongues are dancing in each other's mouth…and then they're at Willow's front door.

" Think we should go inside?" Willow asks.

" Think so, " Faith agrees.

And Willow's digging through her purse for her keys, and then they seem to be inside, and the door is closing behind them.

Willow slips out of Faith's arms. And then, Faith has her pinned against the wall, kissing her. And Willow's arms are around Faith's neck, and she wraps her legs around Faith's waist, and the kiss seems to last forever, and that's not long enough.

" I'm kind of thinking I'd like to be laying down right now," Faith breathes heavily, when the kiss breaks.

" Me, too," Willow says.

And their stumbling back towards Willow's bedroom. And somehow clothes seem to fly off by themselves, because by the time they make it to Willow's bed, both are half naked.

" Ummm…ok," Faith gasps when this kiss ends.

" Yeah, definitely ok," Willow agrees.

And then they're tugging at each other's remaining clothing and that's gone because they're naked when their bodies fall on the bed. And somehow they become entwined in each other. And are kissing again. And then they roll over, and hands are seeking and caressing each other

What's happening here? Both think at once. Then thinking stops.

And Willow is kissing down Faith's body, and Faith is having a happy, a definite happy. And when Willows warm lips find her nipples, and start suckling her, her happy starts to warm in her belly. And her hands seem to be all over Willow's back and ass…and then Willow slips down, and her lips are tickling Faith's tummy, and her tongue is licking her navel, and Faith's happy starts to grow bigger, and hotter.

And when Willow's lips touch her sex, lighting bolts and fire run throughout Faith, and all of a sudden her face is flushing, and her happy is getting so happy she isn't laughing, but screaming. And a wave of pleasure runs over her…followed by a brief calm as another wave hits her…then another… and another… then she rather loses count.

And when she can count again, she looks down, and Willow, face rather dampened by Faith's enthusiasm, is crawling up her, grinning from ear to ear.

" What the fuck just happened?" Faith asks hoarsely.

" I think it's called cumming, honey, " Willow giggles. " I think you did it quite a few times."

" Funny, Red, really…" But she's cut off by Willows lips. And she tastes herself on them, and isn't hating the taste.

And then suddenly Willow's sex is rubbing gently against hers. And then it's not so gentle, and hers is rubbing back, and then they roll on their sides and legs and arms become entwined but the don't' seem to notice because their sexes seem to be trying to rub through each other. And then they're both moaning, and then groaning, and then screaming as they are drowned in a tsunami of pleasure.

" Did you?" Faith asks.

" Oh yeah. Did you?" Willow replies.

" Oh yeah."

And then Faith rolls Willow over, and she's straddling her and the kissing is happening again…and then Faith starts working her way down Willow's body. And Willow is squirming and mewling, loving the way Faith's lips are kissing her…and kissing her in places she hadn't considered before…and then Faith is low … lower … lowest, and Willow's hips seem to open like a flower, and when Faith's tongue slips in her, Willow's mewling and moans become groans.

Maybe she's never done this before, Willow, panting, thinks, but she's got it down pat.

And then she stops thinking, because her brain seems to fall apart, and she hears screams, and realizes she's screaming and she's shuddering hard because god she's in heaven.

And they kind of spent the night that way, on and off.

2

Buffy looks out over the moonlit street.

She sighs, and looks again at the small clock on her night stand. It's been over two hours since Willow drove off.

Where is she? What's she doing? Why's it taking so long?

Buffy, in anticipation, has prepared special for this night. She is wearing what she thinks of as her sexiest nightgown. It's a full length gown of white lace. It's modest, until it's backlit. Then it becomes almost transparent. Suggesting a innocent naughtiness. She's hoping, once Faith gets back, to be waiting in her room, by the window, moon backlighting her gown.

Where IS she?

Buffy paces. She's so horny right now, she almost wants to pop. And Faith, for the first time since coming to live with them, is MIA. Damn, Buffy curses to herself, why now? Why tonight? God, I want to make her happy, so happy…and she bails!

A terrible thought occurs to her, but she shoves it away as ridiculous. But like a jack in the box, it pops right back up.

What if they got to kissing…and it kind of got out of control?

She feels ice crystals forming in her tummy, but refuses to give the thought weight because it's so utterly ridiculous

Why would she choose her over me? Why? I don't understand it…

But she refuses to believe it. She pushes it down and away.

She probably went for a sweep… and is fighting. I could go out and check… but then she'd get weird about it, and think I was following her around. No…just have to wait. She'll be back soon. I know she will. I know it. And when she does get back, I'm gonna rock her world.

Buffy yawns, and realizes she's really tired. She lays down, and thinks about Faith, and how she 'saved' her, and the cross…and slowly her eyes close.

Just for a minute. Just rest my eyes for a minute…

Buffy starts awake, and looks around.

Damn, what time is it?

She looks at the little clock, and groans.

Two hours! I slept for two hours. She could've come home any time. She could be asleep by now. Shit. Damn. I blew it!

Quietly, she gets up, and glides to her door. Looking out, seeing it's clear, she quietly goes to Faith's door.

It's ok, it's ok. I'll just look in on her. Maybe I can slip in next to her. That'd be cool… holding her would be good.

Buffy opens the door, and peeks in.

The ice crystals become ice bergs.

She's not HOME! Where IS she?

And the awful thought, so mild before, slams in her head like a truck.

No… that couldn't'… she wouldn't…They wouldn't….oh ….

Slipping back to her room, she slips out of her nightgown. She quickly dresses in pair of jeans, top and boots, and quietly slips out her bedroom window.

She runs down Revello drive, running at top speed. She has to know what the situation is, what's happened to Faith.

Oh god, what if I'm wrong and Faith is hurt somewhere? Dying somewhere? Shit, I should…no. Willow's first, then I'll start checking hospitals!

Buffy arrives at Willow's house , and leaning on her knees, catches her breath. Ok, advantage vampire. You never lose your breath. Don't have any.

Her breathing under control, she shinnies up the tree leading to the roof. She knows exactly which window is Willow's bedroom. She used to come here late at night as a vampire, watching her sleep. She thought it was amusing and cute that Willow still cuddled up with a stuffed bear.

She hopes she'll still be amused.

Quietly she makes her way to Willow's window. For a brief second, she debates looking in. Do I really want to know? I have to know!

She crouches down, and looks in.

And her world falls apart into a thousand sharp pieces.

All cutting her heart.

Faith and Willow are sleeping in her bed, cuddling.

She feels like she wants to scream. Then puke. Then scream again.

She quickly makes her way back to the tree, and down to the ground, almost falling out of the tree in her haste.

When she hits ground, her legs fail her, and she sits down hard, leaning against the tree.

Her mind won't work, it's a cesspool of emotions. Rage mixes with hurt mixes with despair. Only one word keeps flashing through her mind

NO!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Her whole body aches, everything hurts. Just hurts. She bangs her head against the tree a few times, hoping the pain will be less than what she's feeling.

Hot tears course down her cheeks, and she bites her hand hard to keep the sobbing away.

Slowly, nearly half an hour later, she brings herself under control.

It's cool, it's all cool, She thinks to herself. It's what I wanted… just not the when. I wanted her first, but maybe this is best. After all, she might have her first, but I'm gonna have her last!

Buffy stands, and waits for a moment as the dizziness passes. She pushes down the hurt, shuts away the rage. She breathes slowly, to get her emotions under control. She starts to walk back home, and she knows that she can deal, she can deal.

If only the tiny ache in her heart would go away.

3

Faith blinks as the morning sun hits her eyes. She opens them just enough to see…and smiles.

Willow is sleeping on her chest, hands resting on her belly. Her hair is all mussed, and she's snoring just a little. It has to be one of the cutest things she's ever seen.

Then she sighs, being hit with a major case of the guilts.

Wasn't supposed to happen. This really wasn't supposed to happen! God, I'm such a bitch. I don't love her. And she's gonna be so upset when I tell her… Shit, I really like her, too!

Faith gently moves Willow off her chest, and sits up. She looks out the window .

A pair of arms encircle her waist, and a warm pair of hands cup her breasts. A head leans on her back, and a soft sigh greets her.

" Hey," Willow says, a little sleepily.

" Hey," Faith answers, her mouth dry. Now what do I tell her?

" That was nice, " Willow coos softly.

" Really nice, " Faith agrees. She sighs heavily.

"What is it , cutie?" Willow squeezes her breasts. " Still horny?"

" God, no!" Faith has to chuckle. She puts her hands over Willows. " I think you did a good case of curing the hornies last night. At least for me!"

" Mmm… me too, Willow sighs. " I feel so good right now. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't feel better!" She kisses the back of Faith's neck.

" Ah, man, I wish you wouldn't do that, " Faith says.

" Why not? Don't you like it?"

" A bit too much. But Red, I've got to be honest here. I… I really don't love you. I like you , a lot. But…"

"Well, of course not, silly," Willow snuggles closer, " I don't love you, either."

Huh?

" Huh?"

"I've got this big crush on you, and you've got to be the sexiest thing going. But I love Tara, and that hasn't changed, darling. But, doesn't mean we can't …have some fun, you and me."

" Wow, " Faith chuckles." I was so worried I was going to break your heart, and it looks like it was only my heart in danger."

" Oh, no. Nothing like that. You couldn't fall for me, anymore than I could for you. You love Buffy."

" Ok, I'm going to repeat myself…huh?"

"C'mon, Faith. Don't be dumb. We both know you've got major feelings in there…" She taps Faith's heart," And I'm thinking they're getting bigger every day." She kisses Faith's neck. "What we did last night? Wow. Loved it, really loved it. I needed it more than you know. It's been so long since I've been held. Since someone looked at me like that. Wow. Double Wow. By the way, Faith? You are one superb lover. Buffy is going to be one lucky girl once you both stop thinking about it and just do it. But really, honey, one night a love doesn't make. I really care for you. I think I always will. But love? Nope, sorry. But…" She giggles, and her hand slips lower on Faith's body, " doesn't mean we can't make each other feel really nice, Now be a good girl, and lay back, and let me make you really feel nice!"

" God, I'd really love to, But I've got to go…"

" Do you gotta gotta? I was thinking, I'd get up, make us breakfast, then we'd have dessert," Willow giggles," then maybe another dessert. Did I tell you I've got this wicked sweet tooth?"

" That sounds so nice…I mean… what you did to me last night, made me a little…no, a lot crazy… but I really…oh…ok, now that's not fair!"

Willow's hand has started rubbing her in her favorite place. Faith lets out a huge sigh … and lays back down

" I'm kinda craving sweets…"

Willow giggles, and disappears under the covers.

4

Buffy walks along seemingly in a daze.

The sun is coming up on the horizon, but she doesn't really notice it. She doesn't really seem to notice anything.

Everything around her seems dead. The trees look skeletal, the birds are all black, singing a dirge. Though the air is warm, it feels icy on her skin. And inside her, her heart seems to have stopped beating.

All that's there is ice. A large chunk of ice filling her, chilling her. Killing her.

She looks up, and notices she's reached home. Strange, but she doesn't seem to know it. The flowers and bushes around the house all look dead or dying, the grass is a grayish brown. The trees are leafless and lifeless.

The house itself is drained of color. All she sees are whites and blacks and grays, shadow play without any color. She finds her feet moving up the walk . Why, why, why? Why am I here? I don't belong here! But her feet continue walking, and she follows them.

She climbs the porch stairs, not caring about the creaks and squeaks. She shivers, as if feeling a pair of icy arms wrapping around her. Digging through her pocket, she finds her key. She opens the door and quietly slips in the house.

Inside the house it's dark, but it doesn't seem to matter. Her feet know where to go. She climbs the stairs, quietly, and then walks down the hallway to her room. She opens the door and shuts it behind her.

Walking to her dresser, she opens the drawer and pulls out a small knife. It's very sharp, and she's very careful handling it. Getting the metal trash can from the corner, she walks to the closet.

She's in the closet, and pulls down the ladder, climbs it and raises it again even before she's aware she's done it. Closing the panel, she grabs the light and makes her way to her place. Her 'special place'.

She sets down the trash can and knife, and moves to the wall. Her wall. The wall of her goddess. Her moon goddess. She pulls off a picture, and tears it, and then another and another and another, tearing each. Soon all the pictures are gone except the large one.

She takes the debris, and drops it in the trashcan. Going to the little table by the bed, she opens a drawer and takes out a box of matches. Walking over to the trash can, she strikes a match and watches as its flare hits the paper, burning the pictures. She watches the fire as it burns brightly, putting her hands out to warm them because she's so cold. So very cold. But the fire doesn't warm her, only freezes her. She moves away, watching the flames dance as the images of her goddess turns to ash. She watches until the flame lowers, then sputters, and finally dies. It is smoky in the room, but she doesn't care, doesn't notice. She coughs, and moves to the only picture left. Smiling, she leans in and kisses it tenderly.

" I understand, lover. I do, I really do. Willow is sweet, very sweet. I love her too. " She kisses the picture again. "We'll be together, all of us, Very soon, I promise you." She moves to the table. Picking up the knife , she stares at it. She pushes up the sleeve on the top, and draws the knife across the skin.

" little cuts, shallow cuts, " She hums to herself, over and over. She looks up, startled. " No, baby, don't worry. I'm just punishing myself. I've been such a jealous bitch. I need to be punished. I deserve it, don't you know?"

" little cuts, shallow cuts" She hums, crisscrossing the cuts. She watches as tiny drops of blood bead on her skin. She licks them, seeking comfort.

" Surely you've heard the expression rubbing salt in the wound, Slayer!" Spike's voice taunts her.

She is tied to a pole, her legs splayed and bound to the floor. Her sex has been shaved, and Spike is standing over her, grinning.

In one hand, he holds a sharp, very sharp knife. In the other, a small container of salt.

" Now we all know how much rubbing salt into a wound hurts. But I wonder… how would it feel here?" He draws his finger across her sex. She shudders in revulsion. " Oh, like that did you?" He grins at her maliciously.

He shows her the knife, " Now the trick is, little cuts, shallow cuts. We don't want a lot of blood washing out the wounds. Just enough to penetrate the skin, expose the nerves. Give the maximum effect. So, what say we get started?"

He lowers the knife towards her.

"little cuts, shallow cuts, " She hums, her hot tears falling on the wound. She sighs at the pain the brine of her tears causes her. She licks, and more tears fall. Lick and tears, lick and tears. Finally, she just rubs the tears in, increasing the pain exquisitely. She falls back on the bed, and her head turns to the side, looking at her moon goddess.

" I've been a horrible, terrible ,ugly, jealous bitch, I know my sweetness. But I'll be better, I promise. I'll be worthy of your love. I swear it."

She falls into a sweet doze, smiling.

5

Faith walks through the morning sunshine, loving the way the sun warms her skin. She sighs, happily and sadly.

She feels wonderful.

She feels terrible.

Damn, why can't I make up my mind?

Willow has shown her a new side of sex she hadn't considered before. A softer, sweeter side. She touched buttons Faith didn't know she had; didn't know existed. It was incredibly wonderful. Sweet and wonderful, soft and delicious.

It's brought her to a new place, a place she wants to explore. And Faith, she's all about the exploring of sex. She knows who she wants to explore it with. Holding her close, touching and kissing her as they walk the wilds of this strange new land.

Red was dead on. I really wish she weren't because it freaks me to Saturn. But I know she's right, because I get this intense happy when I think of her, and I get this awful burning pit. It makes me feel great and awful. How fucking weird is that? I want her, I love her, and it's killing me.

She knows, she wants, and that's what brings the terrible. The sweet, sweet, terrible.

She feels like a cheater. She feels she's betrayed her, hurt her. She feels like a slut, a whore. Thinking with her hormones instead of her head.

She wants to feel cheap, and dirty, and wrong. And she can't, and that bugs her too. I've slept with someone else. A girl someone else, and I should be dying here. I should be feeling like dog crap. I should, and I don't.

If she did, she would cheapen what she and Willow shared. And she really likes Willow, and making what they did cheap and dirty? Would be hurting her. And she doesn't want that.

And it was good, really good. It wasn't tawdry, it wasn't dirty. It was sweet, and nice, and happy. No, she can't feel bad about doing it, and doing it with Willow. She just can't.

But she can feel like crap because she knows she'll hurt Buffy, and that puts ice in her heart, and this incredibly hot ball of pain in her stomach. She wants to see her so bad it hurts. She wants to shout how she feels to her until she's hoarse. And she wants to hold her forever in her arms, kissing her and loving her.

And she wants to hide, feeling like a slutty bitch in heat. A dog, who doesn't deserve shit.

And how weird is all this? Weird. Way weird.

Too weird for her to figure out.

She reaches the house on Revello drive, and stops a second, enjoying the green of the lawn, and the colors of the flowers in the garden. Yeah, and stalling your ass from going in, right babe? She sighs, hating when she busts herself. But she knows it's true, and she really doesn't want to go in now. Too many questions, too much to deal with. She's just not ready for it now. So, she wanders over to the tree, and leans against it, looking at the pattern of sun and leaves. Feeling the warmth on her face, and sighing heavily.

She'll just wait here a few. Until the ice in her heart melts a little. Sending down a trickle to cool the burning in her tummy.

Then she can go in. Face the music.

And take her licks.

6

Buffy wakes up coughing.

She looks around and notices a smoky scent to the air.

"What?"

She looks around and notices the little trash can with all the ashes in it. And it starts to come back.

The waiting.

The running.

The seeing.

The dying.

She looks up at her wall, and shrugs. She knows soon she won't need this altar anymore. She'll worship at her moon goddess's feet. It'll all be good. Better than good. Exquisitely wonderful.

She touches the picture on the wall, and kisses it lightly.

" I love you, I always do. No matter what, I love you." She caresses the flat cheek, then moves to gather up the mess.

Leaving the knife, she grabs the can, touching it. It's cool. She looks around, and finds some newspaper. She covers the ashes with it, and leaves her cubbyhole.

Slipping down the ladder, she enters her room, and picking up any other debris she wants gone, she head for the hall.

She slips downstairs, and finding an empty trashcan, dumps the contents of her waste basket. She leaves it outside to air, and sneaks back in. She's up the stairs and back in her room before she hears her mom stirring around. Whew. Hate to have to explain that!

She doffs her clothes, and slips on a robe, heading for the bathroom.

" Buffy?" Her mom calls out from her room. Buffy walks to Joyce's room, and peeks in.

" Mom?"

" Honey, have you been smoking?"

" What? Geeze, mom, do I look that stupid? Oh, you mean the smell? Uhh… I was out walking earlier, and I think they're doing some road work up the street. Maybe that's what you smell?"

" Yeah, maybe," she frowns. " I wish they wouldn't do that so early. It stinks."

" Oh yeah. Well…" Buffy shrugs. " Mom, can I talk to you?"

" Now?" Joyce is still a little sleepy.

" No, at breakfast."

Joyce shakes her head. Talk to me? Has the world started spinning backwards? And why am I looking the horse in the mouth?

" Of course, sweetie," Joyce smiles. " any time."

" Thanks mom, kinda important."

" Ok, honey, I'll see you downstairs."

As Buffy walks away, Joyce's brow furrows. Important? Oh please, please, don't let her be pregnant.

Joyce sighs, wondering if a son wouldn't be so much easier sometimes.

Buffy luxuriates under the hot water, loving the way it's warming her. She's felt cold all morning, and the heat feels wonderful.

She looks at the wound on her arm, and feels the clean water washing the pain away. She hears the little humming in her head, and the her voice saying " little cuts, shallow cuts." She pushes it away, but still stares at the wound. She licks it, and tastes the remnants of salt and blood. She shivers.

Sick, sick, God I'm so sick!

The image of Faith and Willow together comes unbidden to mind, and she feels herself tearing up again. The tears spill as her mind imagines them together. Touching each other, cooing and sighing and moaning.

And then she's with them, and their soft arms hold her, their loving lips kiss her, and she feels better. They touch her, and kiss her, and she feels the warmth in her tummy grow. She feels wanted and needed and loved.

Her hand trails down to her sex, and she feels a dampness too thick for water. She rubs herself gently, as images of the three of them pleasuring each other flows though her brain, and her breathing turns to sighs, then to needy mewls and then soft sweet moans. Her other hand starts to pinch her nipples, and soon she is caught in a sexual web, her body shaking as her pleasure slams her. She leans heavily into the wall, sinking down as her knees grow weak and her pleasure carries her off.

Her sighs are happy as she pulls herself up, still feeling the soft warmth in her tummy. She turns off the shower and hops out, drying in the fluffiness of a huge terry towel. Wrapping herself, she checks the mirror, and then smiles.

She hums softly to herself as she leaves the bathroom.

Buffy walks down the stairs to the dining room, feeling and looking 100 girly. She's wearing a clingy knee length print skirt and tube top. On her feet are heeled sandals, and around her neck is the cross Faith gave her. Completing her get her hot while looking soft look , her hair is held back in a low pony tail with a scrunchie. Her makeup is subdued and her lips are a kissable soft pink. She has every plan of cutting the knees from under Faith, and crawling on top. She giggles, and enters the dining room.

No Faith.

Buffy sighs, and walks into the kitchen.

" Hey, mom!" Buffy walks over and gives her mom a kiss.

Joyce's eyebrows arch up, and she smiles.

" Hi, honey. You look so pretty this morning!"

" You think?" She twirls for her mother, giving her the full effect.

" Definitely adorable, sweetheart. But ummm…maybe not good for the slaying?"

" No nest hunting today. Buffy taking a day off. Wants to feel all girly again. I mean, just how many days can I wear jeans?" She giggles

Joyce smiles at her daughter's bubbly mood. She doesn't understand it, but she surely has to love it.

"So, honey, hungry?"

" Just some cereal and juice mom. Girl's gotta keep trim" Buffy says, heading to the cabinet for a bowl. She almost dances across the floor, swinging her hips and humming merrily. Joyce is enchanted by her daughter's utter happy.

Buffy sidles over to the fridge, grabbing the milk, and then grabs the cereal. She pours, pours and then grabbing a spoon, heads to the dining room. Joyce chuckles at her silliness.

So good to see her so happy. It's been way too long. Joyce has a thought. I wonder if she … ok, Joyce, thinking of daughter having sex? Ewww.

Laughing, she brings a juice for her crazy daughter, and coffee for herself.

" So, honey, you said earlier you need to talk to me?" She puts the juice by Buffy and almost starts laughing again. Buffy is eating robustly , almost noisily. She smiles. Happy Gods. I don't know what you did to my daughter, but keep it up, ok? Please?

" Oh yeah, " Buffy says, mouth full. She puts down the spoon. " It's about Willow. Well, Willow and Tara, really."

" Oh? Is everything ok? "

" Well, not for reals, mom. Seems Tara was in the hospital under insurance, and it's kind of run out. Now, Willow is all scrambling around looking for someone to watch Tara while trying to find a job. During the day. Problem is, She's in school, and only a year away from getting her degree, you know? I really hate to think of her quitting now, she's worked so hard."

" and you're wondering if I know someone or other that could help? "

" Mom, really got to stop the mind reading thing. It's freaky."

" Well, actually honey I've been kind of looking into it, because I know that the situation with Tara in the hospital is really expensive. I figured the insurance had to go soon, so I thought, seeing how Willow's your best friend, I'd sort of look into it."

Buffy breaks out in a beaming smile." Mom, are you like Super mom, or what?" She gets up and comes around, hugging her. " Everybody's right. You are totally the coolest mom ever." She kisses her cheek. "So what's the 411 on it?"

Joyce, a little embarrassed but smiling, takes a second to translate. " Oh… well, there's a place called the Sunny Springs extended care home. It's not fancy, but it's clean and bright, and the staff there is dedicated. And, your adorable mom happens to be on the board, so I could pull a few strings."

" Did I happen to mention you're the best mom ever?"

" Well, you said coolest, but I guess…"

" Well, you are!" Buffy hugs her again. " But what does it cost? Willow's kind of like us… not exactly rolling in it."

" Well, that's the nice part, honey. It's a state sponsored home. I'm pretty sure that Tara's SSI payments would cover any additional costs. And of course, anything Willow could pay would be welcome."

" Super mom to the rescue," Buffy teases her. " you're just kinda like everybody's mom, aren't you?"

" Buffy, stop it. You're going to get me weepy here in a second."

Buffy smiles. " I'm sorry mom, a little too gushy, I got it. Just I love you. I know if things go bad, you're there to fix it."

" Oh, well now you've done it, " Joyce grabs a napkin, daubing her eyes.

" Oh, oh, waterworks. I'm sorry, mom, didn't mean to make you cry."

" No, silly. Just made me really happy. Haven't seen you so … bouncy in a long time. Kind of missed it."

" I love you mom, " Buffy hugs her again, tightly.

" Geeze, I keep coming in on these Kodak moments, " Faith cracks from the doorway.

Buffy looks up and smiles at her.

Faith, on the other hand, feels she wants to crawl away and hide.

" Hey, Faith!" Buffy says brightly. She gives Faith the once over. " not looking like the sweats, sweetie. Miss the run this morning?"

" Uh, yeah, kinda… just went for a walk, really."

" Hi, Faith. Hungry? Can I fix you something?" Joyce asks, getting up.

" No thanks Mrs. … Joyce… I'm cool. I'll grab some cereal if that's ok?"

" Of course, Faith. You don't have to ask. You're welcome to anything in the fridge."

" Thanks, " Faith smiles, making a break for the kitchen.

" Faith?"

Oh, oh

" Yeah, Buff?"

" I'm going out , but I'm going to be at the Magic Box in an hour or so." She sniffs. " When you're done and …well, showered, meet me there?"

Big oh, oh!

" Sure B, " Faith says, smiling a little weakly. " See ya there."

" Seeya, cutie." She turns to Joyce. " Going over to tell Willow, if that's OK?"

" Sure, honey. Tell her it's not 100 sure, but if it doesn't pan out, we'll find something, ok?"

" You're just too, too, mom!"

" Did you find something for Tara, Buffy?"

" Yeah, Super mom was already on the case!" Buffy turns to leave. " Bye guys!"

" Buffy?"

She turns back. " Yeah, Faith?"

" Really like the duds. Look good on you!"

" Really? " Buffy beams She gives Faith a quick twirl to show off. " Thanks. See you in an hour or so."

She leaves , waving.

"Whoa!" Faith is a little stunned. " Did you like feed her happy pills this morning, Joyce?"

" I don't know, Faith. I'm as confused as you, Faith. She just came down that way."

" Well, gotta say, major improvement."

" I've got to agree, " Joyce nods. She turns to Faith. " So, girl that's living in my house who's not my daughter, how come we're getting in so late?"

" Huh?" Faith almost chokes on air." Late? No, just went for a walk."

" Uh-huh. That doesn't work with my daughter, either, when she comes home from her 'walk' wearing the same clothes she did yesterday…"

"Oh, man," Faith seem to lose all her energy. " Do you think Buffy noticed?"

" Honey, I noticed, and I'm just the non-mom here." She gives Faith a look. " Would my daughter care if my non-daughter came home wearing the same clothes from yesterday?"

" I don't know. But I'm thinking I care if she cares." Faith admits.

" I see, " Joyce says, " and so, non-daughter of mine, would you like to tell me, non-mom, where you spent the night last night."

" It's kind of personal, Joyce," Faith squirms a little in her chair.

Joyce doesn't say a word, only looks at Faith.

" Ok, ok, stop the third degree!" Faith throws up her hands. " I spent the night with Willow."

"Oh, So like a sleep over, then." Joyce cocks her head. " Wonder why Willow didn't invite Buffy, too? I mean, I sure she would've liked to have gone."

Faith blushes.

" Ummm… no, don't think that would've worked." Though… hmmm.

Joyce looks puzzled.

" Joyce, I spent the night with Willow… do you understand. WITH"

" Oh?…OH!" Joyce eyes go wide. " Really?"

Faith nods, sighing.

" Ok, I… ok, " Joyce looks more confused by the second. " But, why would my daughter care if you spent the night with Willow?" Joyce sighs. " Would someone just tell me what's going on, instead of using oblique references?"

" The who?"

" The … ok what's everybody hiding?"

" Oh… well, Joyce? Promise not to freak?"

" I read Cosmo, Faith. You can't surprise me!"

" Ah, well… ummm… ok, this is rather hard. Ummm…"

" Faith honey? It's easier just to say it."

" Ok. Ummm… I love Buffy , you see…"

" Pardon? I'm not sure I heard that right?"

Faith colors beet red. " I love… I think I love… oh heck I'm falling in love with Buffy, Mrs. Summers."

" Oh." Joyce cocks her head. " And, how does Buffy feel about this?"

" That's the big I don't know, Mrs. Summers. I don't know how she feels, exactly. I mean, I kind of get signals, but nothing concrete."

" Ok, but do you believe she might?"

" I kinda think so?" Faith's voice goes low.

" I see… but you spent the night with Willow?"

" Yes, ok, but I don't love her, Mrs. Summers. I love Buffy. But we were together last night, and she was needing, and I was needing.. and we sort of needed together?"

" Ok, I get that one, " Joyce nods. " don't look so surprised, Faith. I wasn't born 40, you know."

Faith giggles.

"So you had a one nighter with Willow, but you love my daughter?"

" Mrs. Summers? It wasn't like that. I mean dirty or nothin' "

" Faith? Didn't we like say we weren't going to call me Mrs. Summers anymore?"

" Yes… but I find it hard to call you Joyce."

" I understand. I guess you'll just have to call me mom, then."

Faith looks at her, and her eyes suddenly get big and wet. Joyce hands her a napkin.

" Now, don't do that or we're going to be sitting here crying like babies, and I'd really like to understand this."

Faith daubs her eyes, and smiles.

" Sorry… ummm… look, simple. I love Buffy, not sure she loves me. I think she does, but I feel like crap right now because I spent the night with Willow. Help?"

" Now, you see? I already love you're my new daughter. I'd never get it that easily out of Buffy. Ok, well, here goes, " Joyce sighs. " honey, there's no easy way out of this. You have to talk to Buffy, explain how you feel, ask her how she feels, and don't let her squirm out of it, and explain what happened with Willow. I'd suggest in that order, but it's up to you."

Damn, she's good.

" Ok…wow…this won't be easy, will it?"

"No, but if you wear body armor? You'll probably survive it." Joyce teases her.

" Thanks, feeling better now…" Faith sighs. " you really ARE Super mom, aren't you?"

" You betcha. My cape's just in the cleaners."

" So, you won't mind if I hug you then?"

" You better!"

They hug. Joyce pulls back a little.

" Honey? Another suggestion? Shower. I love you, and Willow. Just not smelling you both on one body. Whew!"

Faith blushes.

" Well, hurry up. Don't keep Buffy waiting too long. She can turn cranky on a dime."

" Ok… " Faith runs out, then runs back, and kisses Joyce on the cheek. " Thanks…ummm… mom." She runs out again.

" You're welcome."

7

" Buffy! Hi!" Willow smiled brightly, seeing her friend at the door. "C'mon in, Buff" She waved her in.

Buffy entered the front room, and Faith's scent hit her nose. She smiled brightly all the while feeling the little bits of ice floating in her stomach. Don't freak and don't lose it. You wanted this!

" Hey, Will. Got news" Buffy says, moving to the kitchen." IS that coffee I smell?" Along with Eau d' Faith?

" Yeah, want some?" Willow calls from the kitchen.

" Please. Need my caffeine fix, bad today." Buffy sits at the breakfast bar.

" Oh, How come, Buffy?" Willow brings two steaming mugs of coffee , setting one in front of Buffy. Buffy takes a sip and sighs.

" Didn't sleep too well last night, " Buffy says, taking in Willow over the rim of her cup.

She can definitely see a difference in the way Willow moves and her energy this morning. She's almost walking an inch off the floor. Wow, Faith must've really rang her good last night.

" You didn't? Why not honey? Bad dreams?"

" No, not really. I was a little worried when Faith didn't come home last night."

" Oh." Willow makes a big O with her lips Then she blushes deeply. "My bad. I should've had her call you."

" Well, look at Ms. Blushy. Maybe, there wasn't time for a phone?" Buffy arches her brows. " So, how DID it go last night?"

"Geeze, Buffy. Kind of private?" Willow gets even redder.

" Oh, c'mon, Will. Not asking for a blow by blow…unless of course it was super heated."

" Buffy, you're terrible," Willow waves her hand.

" So did you guys…" Buffy makes a hand gesture. Willow's eyes go wide, then she blushes.

" You did! I knew it!' Buffy crows. " I could smell her in here…or…" She stands up and moves to Willow and sniffs.

" What're you doing Buffy?"

" Checking for Eau d' Faith" Buffy laughs. " And yup, it's there."

Willow can't help a very large grin. She nods, and looks down shyly.

"Willow Rosenberg! You little vixen. And here I thought you guys would be smooching and maybe groping a little, and you set her on fire."

" We just started out kissing…and it kind of went from there, " Willow says softly. " It was… wow!"

" Judging from the way your feet don't hit the floor, I'd have to agree."

" It was good, Buffy, really good. I don't know what else to say."

" You don't have to, girlfriend. I can tell by the megawatt smile and the way you're cheeks are all blushy and the way you're moving. You definitely have a happy going here."

" I won't deny I'm really feeling nice this morning."

"Well, that's a good thing, right?"

"Absolutely. And it was really good. But not a life changer, Buff."

" I don't understand?"

" Buffy, I really like Faith. She's sweet and sexy and …ok, damn she's hot," Willow chuckles, " but, honey, I don't love her. "

"Well, gee, ok, it was like the first time. Do you think you could?"

" No, Buffy, you don't get it. I don't love her… and I won't, because … it… that spark… just isn't there for us. It was sex, very, very nice sex, but it wasn't love…"

" Well… alright." Buffy answers.

Willow gives her a strange look.

" Buffy, she doesn't make me quiver inside. You know, that tingle in your tummy when the person you love is there, and you look into their eyes. That… just isn't there."

"Sure, sure, Will. I get it. Blonde, but not terminally blonde."

" And believe me, Buffy, she feels the same way. As a matter of fact, she told me as much."

" Really?" Buffy asks. A little quiver goes off in her tummy.

"Yes, Buffy. It was so cute too. She was sitting there, afterward, looking all guilty, like I was going to turn to dust when she told me. She is adorable, don't you think?" Willow gives her a sidelong glance. " Oh, yeah, I'm thinking Buffy definitely finds adorableness in Faith."

"What?" Buffy makes a noise, " That's just silly, Will. Didn't I tell you at the Bronze last night, that we're just friends?"

" Mmmm-hmmm. Just friends. Ok…" Willow cocks her head. " So then why did you come on to her while wearing that hot little number she described. I think she said something about a black satin bustier and leather mini…"

Buffy goes pink. " Oh my god, she told you about that?"

" Mmmm-hmmm, " Willow smiles." She says you came on strong… pushed her on the bed and everything… little Ms. Slutty Summers!"

" Oh, and did she tell you she ran the first chance she got?"

" Yes, and she told me why, too."

"I know why," Buffy frowns.

" Oh? You do?" Willow looks at her. " Why do you think she ran?"

" Well, she told me because she was like… wasn't ready for it. But look at what happened between you two. So I can only think, she thinks I'm repulsive or something…"

" Buff? You were wrong, you ARE terminally blonde!"

"What? Well, thank you supposed best friend."

" Well, I can't think of any other reason for such a stupid remark. I mean… gosh, Buffy, all she could talk about last night was YOU, you dope."

" Huh?"

" When we weren't actually… well, you know… it was Buffy this, or Buffy that… or do you think Buffy really thinks this or that and geeze, Buffy, if I had any ego at all I might've been hurt." Willow laughs." It was so darned cute I couldn't get mad… oh, and I called her on it, and she admitted it, Buffy… she's like hooked on you bad!" Willow gets a wicked grin on her face, " I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have minded at all if I had been shorter, and blond, and been named …oh… Buffy."

" You're shitting me!" Buffy says. Please, don't be… please.

Willow shakes her head, arms crossed.

" Ok, then you're just nuts, girl. Faith and I are like oil and water. Shake us up as much as you like, we don't mix."

"Hmmm… well, I'll tell you, one of you changed to oil, then, because I sense a definite wanting to shake it up in the together way."

" Will, sweetie, I know you're trying to help? But Faith pretty much thinks of me as psycho sick-o girl."

" No, I really don't think so, Buffy. She's hooked on you… and honey, if you don't feel the same, don't hurt her. You tell her!"

" Will, don't kid me here. Are you on the level? For reals? Swear? Pinkie swear?

" Buffy honey? Grow up! Pinkie swear? Look at me, Buffy. You know me. Am I lying to you. CAN I lie to you? You know what happens when I start lying."

" Don't see how she can love me, Will, I just don't! I'm damaged goods, I'm … ugly…" Buffy looks away…" inside…I'm so ugly…"

" Buffy…" Willow reaches for her, cupping her face. " Don't. She told me. What Spike did to you…how you blame yourself for it. It wasn't your fault honey… don't let him keep hurting you…please" Willow kisses her forehead. " I know you, you're too good a person to think like this."

Buffy looks into Willow's eyes, and something inside her makes her feel intense shame.

" No… I'm not… not anymore. Will, please for your own sake, don't trust me… I'm very bad…and I'm going to hurt you…everyone, if you're not careful…"

" Buffy…what?" Willow looks terribly confused.

Buffy bolts for the door, stops and turns around.

" Call my mom. She has news for you. I gotta…" She's out the door, gone.

Willow runs to the door, calling after her.

" Buffy…Wait… Buffy!"

" Buffy?"

8

What are you doing? The voice whispered to her

"Nothing," She replied

Are you trying to ruin everything?

" No"

Why did you do that? You freaked her. She's going to be suspicious!

" I don't want to hurt her…" Buffy whispers.

Are you stupid? We're not going to hurt her. We're going to free her.

" What if she doesn't want it? It's not right to force her."

It's not right, it's not right The voice mocks her Where is this coming from? Is it right she be stuck tending a vegetable for the rest of her life? Is it right she's unhappy, lonely, unloved? What's "right" about that?

" But she loves Tara. How can I take that from her?"

Dimwit. I swear, aren't you listening? Tara's NOT HOME! Tara's gone. All you're beloved Willow has is a body, a breathing, eating and shitting machine. It doesn't know, it doesn't feel, it doesn't think. And you want to saddle her with that for the rest of her life? Because it's ' right'? How can you be so cruel?

" I'm not cruel. But forcing her to become something she doesn't want, that's cruel!"

And how do you know she doesn't want it? Because it's 'wrong'? Gee, I seem to remember she got awfully hot when you described what it was like being a vampire. Maybe she wants it and can't say it. Can't admit to herself she wants it. You're giving her something wonderful, and now you're second guessing it. How can you do that to her?

" I'm not saying don't. I'm saying, let her have a choice."

Fine. Go back, tell her your plans. And when she throws you out, and tells everyone, and the plans blow up in your face, and they put you away in the loony bin like you deserve, will you be happy then? Will you have Faith then? I don't think so. You'll only have me. I'll be stuck there with you. And I won't be happy. And you know what I can do when I'm not happy!

Buffy shivers.

I protected you when Spike hurt you, remember? I got you through it, put the bad stuff away, safe. Do you want that back, love? Remember the branding iron. What Spike did with it?

Buffy closes her eyes, tightly

Remember how Dru thought you should be cleaner… and how she made you "cleaner"? Want to feel that again, my sweet?

Buffy whimpers softly.

I can give it all back to you. You'll not only remember it, not only dream about it. You'll feel it all again.

Buffy sinks to her knees. " Please, don't."

Look at you. So weak. A mewling little kitten. You think Faith wants that? A sick whiny little piece of shit like you? She wants strength, she wants power. I can give that to her. What can you give her? Tears? You know she wants Willow… you saw it. So stop fighting me. Stop making things difficult. Let me handle it, and I'll give her to you. You want that, don't you?

" yes"

And you'll stop this crap?

"yes"

Good… there, isn't that better now? That's my good baby. That's my sweet girl. It's so much easier when you let me do the thinking, isn't it?

"yes"

Of course it is. Let me take care of things, and you just love Faith. Who's my sweet, sweet girl?

" Me?"

That's right. Who do you love?

"You"

There's a flash of Spike with the poker in her mind.

" You, mistress"

That's better my love. Now get up. We have to meet Faith.

Buffy stands up.

Now, sleep my love…

Buffy shivers. She turns around, and there's a small cruel smile on her face, and a coldness in her eyes.

She walks towards the Magic Box.

9

" Insane"

Faith shakes her head. The look on her face says " Really confused here". It's pretty obvious that as she makes her way to the Magic Shop, she doesn't have a handle on what's going on. And it's bugging her.

This is totally insane, I swear. What was that this morning? I know Buffy had to see I'd been out all night. Geeze, even Joyce… Mrs. Summers…mom? Christ I'll never figure THAT one out, either… could see I'd been out all night. And she's like way old! So, what was with the happy-happy crap? She acted like she didn't give a damn. Doesn't she? Then why is she practically ripping my clothes off every chance she gets? Is she just like Randi McNympho now? Use me and toss me? Is that it? What, is she channeling ME now? Am I like a toy to her? Play with me awhile until she gets bored, then shelf me?

Faith makes a rude noise, and stops at the light, waiting for it to change. She taps her foot impatiently.

Then she turns around and does these things that make me think there's more to it. She thinks I don't she's getting Joyce to slip some money in my pocket? I mean what, it just suddenly appears there? She doesn't want me to feel like I'm sponging, or having to ask for it. Can you say, really sweet? And when I walk into a room, I can see her brighten up a little, like she's happy to see me. And when we patrol, she's always checking to be sure I'm ok, when I'm the slayer, and her ass is a lot more likely to get hurt. God, I got a cut on my side from some frisky vamp, and I swear she almost tore my t-shirt off to be sure I wasn't hurt badly. Not complaining, mind you, but it was in public! Who's she kidding? She thinks I don't know she watches me sleep? God, what is more boring than watching someone sleep, unless you feel something for them?

So, if she does care, why the Kathy Lee act today? Why was she so damned…perky? She acted like it was the greatest damned thing I dragged my ass in after sleeping with Willow all night. I know she knows. She'd have to be blind not to know. What is her deal?

GAAAH. I'm going back to men. I swear. Their stupid, hairy, insensitive louts. But at least, they're easy to figure. Lay back, open your legs, and hey, they're happy. No fuss, no muss and just remember to take your pill. Easy.

Faith looks up, and realizes she's almost passed the Magic Box.

Damn. I need another 10 miles to get a handle on this. Oh, forget it. You'll never figure her out.

Faith, feeling a little pissy now, pushes her way into the Magic Box.

Rupert Giles looks up when the little bell over the door rings. He sees his slayer stride to the counter, leaning on the glass.

" Good Morning, Faith. "

" Yeah, sure, whatever."

Oh, dear. I see someone took her grumpy pills this morning.

" Dare I ask how you are?"

" I'm looking for Blondie. What does that tell you?"

" That those black clouds swirling over your head followed you in, and aren't just a spell gone terribly wrong," Giles deadpans.

Faith looks at him, then snorts. Her face brightens to a half-grin.

" Yeah, well, I swear. I'll never figure her out. If I live as long a vampire, I'll never get her." Faith shakes her head.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

" Would you really want to know?"

" Ah, yes, personal then, is it?" Giles asks mildly.

"Sorta, yes." Faith says, then throws her hands up in disgust. " I swear, that girls runs hot and cold. I never have a clue to where her head is, from one minute to the next. It bugs the hell out of me!"

" Let's see. She's a young woman, and she's rather mercurial. How droll."

" I'm sorry, was there English in there somewhere?"

" She's moody."

" Funny, Giles. You're a laugh riot. But I'm a young woman too, and I don't change my moods every 10 seconds. What's her deal, anyway?"

" Well, she's been through a lot…"

" And so have I."

"… and she's still coming to terms with what she's been through, and what she did. Remember Faith, you've had a few years to figure things out. She's had a month? Maybe you should be a little more patient."

" Look, Giles, I get the weirdness, ok? I've got my own brand going. What I don't get is the friendly one minute, distant the next minute, acting like I'm important, and turning around and treating me like some toy. What's her deal?"

Giles cleans his glasses.

" I see. Is something else going on here, Faith?"

Faith looks at him with a ' get a clue, Giles' look.

" Never mind, Giles. I don't have time to write you a book on it. Is she here?"

" I assume you mean Buffy, and yes, she's in the back room."

" Peaches, " Faith says, looking at the curtain to the back room. She stands, tapping her foot, arms crossed. " Oh the hell with it, lets just get this over with." She marches towards the back room. She stops halfway, and turns around.

" How was she, Giles? I mean, was she ok? Or acting weird?"

" As far as I could discern, she seemed to be alright."

" She wasn't upset, or giggling or anything, was she?"

"Er… no."

" Ok, " Faith turns back to the curtain. " Thanks."

She walks through it.

" And so, the wackiness continues, " Giles says to himself as he returns to his ledgers.

10

Faith stands behind the curtain, looking into the backroom from behind the doorway. She sees Buffy sitting on the bench, turned a little away from her. She tries to suss out her mood. And for a second, she gets a flash that she's not looking at Buffy at all, but just at someone who looks exactly like her.

Ok, Faith, aren't things weird enough? You have to make up weird?

Faith pushes herself into the room, striding quickly towards the bench.

" Heya, Buff, " She says, stopping a few feet from Buffy.

Buffy looks up, and smiles. She stands up, and looks Faith over.

Ok, Faith. It's Buffy. Stop the wigging in your head.

" Well, you cleaned up nicely, " Buffy smiles, coming over and circling her, " yes, much better now."

" Look, Buff… about last night…"

Buffy runs her finger down Faith's arm.

" So, did you have fun?" Buffy asks. She moves a little closer, laying her hand on Faith's arm.

" Fun?"

" Willow seems to think you had fun." Buffy smiles. " I know for a fact she was all blushy and smiley face this morning."

" Look, Buffy, it wasn't like that…."

" It wasn't?" Buffy's brows raise, " You two didn't get sweaty last night?"

" Well, ok, it was like that," Faith says, " But it wasn't like…serious."

" You just pretended?" Buffy looks confused. " How do you pretend to have sex?"

" Geeze, no Buffy. I meant, it didn't mean anything."

" Oh, I don't know 'bout that, " Buffy moves in front of her, and her hands glide up Faith's arms, resting on her shoulders. "Willow seemed to think it meant something. She was all giggly and smiling this morning. Musta meant something. Couldn't have been terrible."

" I mean, I don't love her, Buffy. That's what I'm trying to say."

" Well, silly girl, who said you did?" Buffy smiles at her, and her hands seem to magically clasp around the back of Faith's neck, "but she surely was one happy girl this morning." Buffy leans in and kisses Faith softly on the lips. " Thank you, " She smiles as she breaks the kiss.

" Thank you?" Faith shakes her head. " Did I miss something here?" Faith feels her lips tingling from the little kiss.

" Faith, weren't you paying attention that morning when we talked about it? At the breakfast table? Remember? I wanted you to … well… comfort her."

Faith blinks. " Huh?" I really wish she'd stop rubbing my neck. I can't think real good when she does that.

" Faith, I told you. Will's been alone for a long time. She really needed some sweet touch. And honey, you gave it to her. I think she said something like… hmmm… cute, adorable, damned hot… " Buffy leans in, whispering in her ear. " I can really see that for myself."

What is she doing? And god, she is turning me on!

" You don't mind I slept with Willow?" Faith asks, sweating a little." I thought you might be a little pissed."

" Of course not, silly. I've been pushing you two together for a couple of weeks now, don't you know?" Buffy rubs herself up against Faith. Holy shit Faith shivers is she trying to make me crazy? Buffy then pushes away from Faith and moves away a little. " Of course, I really didn't think things would get quite so…heated last night, " Buffy has come around Faith, and now is leaning into her. Her arms circle Faith's waist. " I was maybe kinda just a little hurt that I've been trying to get your motor revving for awhile, and she seemed to start you right up, " Buffy nibbles on Faith's ear. " But hey… if that's what it takes." Her hands rub Faith's belly.

Oh geeze oh man Faith feels tingles running out of control in her.

" I was beginning to think you didn't like me at all Faith" Buffy presses herself closer to Faith. " Don't you like me?"

Like isn't exactly the word I was thinking, Buff. Whew!

"Buffy, it's not like that at all. I just…feel differently about you… than I feel about Willow… "

" Mmmm, " Buffy coos softly, rubbing her pelvis against Faith. " I think you feel nice."

Oh, crap. Faith is getting a major down low tickle, with a side of tingles.

" Really nice, " Buffy purrs, leaning her head on Faith's back. Her hands slide up, and cup Faith's breasts.

Ahhh… ahhh… man!

Faith breaks away, panting heavily. " Geeze, Buff!"

" Oh for god's sake, " Buffy sounds angry and hurt, " What the hell IS it , Faith?" She storms off, sitting down on the bench, facing away from Faith. " What the hell do I have to do to make you interested? Let you know I'm willing? Tell me, I'm really not getting it here at all!"

" Buffy, no… it's not like that at all, " Faith comes over to her, kneeling beside her.

" Well, what IS it then, Faith? What is it? Do you know how it feels when you do this? Do you?"

" Buffy… you're not going to hit me again, are you?"

" Why bother? You don't respond, so what's the use?" Buffy gets up, walking towards the entrance. She turns around. " I'm trying my hardest to let you know how I feel about you, and you keep shoving it back in my face. I'm an idiot! Why do I even bother? It's pretty damned clear you don't give a crap about me! " She feels tears coming. " No, I won't let you make me cry again. Damn you, Faith. Damn you!" She cries anyway.

" Buffy, no, don't, " Faith rushes over to her, holding her arms. " I care about you. A lot."

"" Well, you really show it in a funny way. Every time I try to let you know I want you to touch me, you run like a goddamn … shit. Maybe I should die my hair red. Maybe that's it. I don't know what it is, but I try to get you interested, and you show me you don't want me. Will kisses you, and damn you can't get her in bed fast enough. Why? WHY?"

" Because, Buffy, I love you!" Faith declares. Oh shit, did I just say that?

Buffy stands looking at her, blinking . " You love me?" she almost whispers.

" Yes, I LOVE YOU. Is that clear enough?" Faith pulls her closer. " With Willow, it was just sex. Ok, really great sex, but sex. I didn't care what happened. But I love you, Ms. Buffy make me crazy nuts Summers, and it matters to me, a lot, that it's perfect. When I'm with you, and damn you, Blondie, I'm gonna be with you, I want it to be right. Perfect. I want you to know, without any fucking doubts, what I'm feeling when I touch you. Get that? "

" You love me?" Buffy repeats, as if she can't believe it. " Love me, love me?"

Faith snorts. " Are you listening to me at all?"

" I was with you up to you saying I love you" Buffy looks a little starry eyed.

Faith slides her arms around Buffy's waist. " So, what do you think about that, then?" She asks softly.

Buffy doesn't say anything. Her arms slide around Faith's neck, and her lips start to cover Faith's face with kisses. Lots and lots of kisses.

" I'm taking it this is your way of saying that idea doesn't upset you?" Faith is almost giggling.

" Stupid kiss silly kiss goof kiss ! Do you kiss kiss know how much kiss kiss I've wanted kiss kiss kiss to hear that? Do you kiss have any idea kiss kiss how happy kiss that makes me? kiss kiss kiss kiss "

I'm getting the idea… oh… yeah… I really think I'm getting the idea…

" I'm kinda getting the idea, " Faith pants, then she cups Buffy's face, and kisses her.

Their mouths open almost simultaneously, and their tongues intertwine. Buffy's hands slide over Faith's shoulders, and then around her back, and then all over her back and ass. Faith for her part slides her hands down Buffy's sides, and onto her sweet little butt, and pulls her closer.

They stand there for awhile, caressing each other, tongues darting playfully into each other's mouths. The kiss seems to last forever, and that's way to short for either of them.

" Geeze, Buff," Faith pants. Crap, I think this pair of panties is shot.

" Mmmm… now that was nice, " Buffy says. She starts to kiss Faith's neck. Her hands start to rub Faith's ass.

" Uhhh… Buff." Faith says throatily. She grabs Buffy's hands, and pulls them off her butt.

" What?" Buffy looks at her. Maybe a little hurt.

" No, baby. Nothing like that. But if you keep that up, I'm gonna need to lay down soon… and that bench doesn't look that comfortable."

" Oh," Buffy blushes.

Ok, can she get any more adorable?

Buffy laces her fingers through Faiths, and they kiss tiny little kisses. Buffy pulls away, and gets a sexy shy look on her face.

" What?" Faith says, leaning in to continue.

" I know a nice comfy place we can lie down on…" Buffy blushes, lowering her lids.

Answer. Yes, she can get more adorable!

" Oh?" Faith whispers. " Where would that be?"

Buffy leans close, and whispers, her lips almost touching Faith's " My room" She kisses her softly.

The kiss breaks. They look at each other and smile.

They don't want to let go of each other, and they don't want to face the questioning looks from Giles, so they leave by the alley exit.

The door to the Revello drive house opens, and the two girls peer in, Faith's head over Buffy's.

" You think you're mom's home?" Faith whispers.

They listen for a second.

" No, I think she's at the gallery." Buffy whispers back.

" Ok."

The door opens wider and the two slip in, shutting the door after.

Like magnets, the two come together, kissing and groping each other. Little murmurs and mewlings emerge from the pair. Buffy climbs up onto Faith's hips, wrapping her legs around her, and the kissing and caressing continues.

" I really, really need you naked," Buffy whispers to Faith.

" Mmmm. Me too…" Faith whispers back. " Why're we whispering?"

Buffy just giggles, and kisses her.

They stumble towards the staircase, Faith carrying the little blond on her waist.

" Buffy, honey, " Faith sounds muffled, her mouth covered by Buffy's " I love you're hot little body, but I really need to see now."

" You poop, " Buffy says, but she slides off Faith's hips. Faith sweeps her up, and Buffy giggles, tossing her arm over Faith's shoulders. " Why suh, " She affects a southern accent, " Ah you gonna take advantage of lil ole me?"

" You bet you're sweet ass, Scarlett, " Faith says," As many times as I can." She brings her hand up and gooses Buffy's ass.

Buffy squeals, and giggles as Faith carries her upstairs.

The door to Buffy's bedroom bursts open, and Faith sweeps her inside. Buffy slides out of her arms, and they're groping and kissing again. Along with a lot of body rubbing.

Finally, reluctantly they break away, and Faith starts to pull off her t-shirt.

Buffy coughs. Faith looks up questioningly, and Buffy is standing in front of her, arms raised over her head. Her hips are swaying back and forth.

" What?" Faith asks, enjoying the picture.

" Well, " Buffy says demurely, " I was hoping you'd undress me." She lowers her eyes blushing prettily.

And somehow, even more adorable!

Faith comes up behind her, and slides her tube top over her head. Her fingers brush Buffy's nipples on the way, and Buffy gasps and shudders. Faith looks over her shoulder, and notices Buffy's nipples are tilted up and standing proud.

"Geeze, Buffy. " She says, a little awed.

"See what you do to me, lover?" Buffy says, rubbing her butt against Faith's groin.

Not even half of what you're doing to me!

Faith kisses Buffy's neck.

Mmmm, Buffy sighs, Liking that a whole lot.

Faith's hands come up and cup Buffy's breasts, her thumbs gently flicking the nipples

Mmmmmm … loving that… do that AGAIN!

" Do that again, baby," Buffy sighs, leaning into Faith. Faith grins and complies.

Buffy sighs loudly

"MMmmm… you make me sooo hot," Buffy breathes.

Faith reaches down, unbuttoning the waist on Buffy's skirt. She unzips it, and it puddles at Buffy's feet.

" God, you're not wearing panties!" Faith cries.

" I was hoping to get lucky," Buffy giggles. She steps out of her skirt, and rubs her butt against Faith. " Mmmm. feeling real lucky"

Buffy slithers around in Faith's arms, and after a couple of very warm kisses, she tugs on Faith's t-shirt, pulling it out from her pants. She starts to lift it up, and Faith raises her arms to help. Tossing it away, she looks at Faith's bra.

" Naw, this'll never do, " She coos. She rubs her hand over the bra, and Faith just sighs.

God… god, god … and good god, what is she doing?

Buffy has slipped her small hands under Faith's bra, rubbing her breasts. Giggling, she takes them out, and reaches around, unhooking Faith's bra quickly.

" Somebody's had some practice. You sure you've only done this one time before?"

Buffy just giggles. She pulls off Faith's bra, and then looks at Faith's breasts hungrily. She licks her lips.

Faith shivers. Buffy's obvious enjoyment gives her a major tickle deep down low.

Buffy brings her hands to Faith's breasts, and begins to massage them. Faith lets out a little whimper, and then sighs. Buffy lifts her breasts, her thumbs rubbing over Faith's hardening nipples.

" May I?" Buffy asks, looking up into Faith's eyes.

Faith notices how large Buffy's eyes seem. She feels her heart flutter.

" No one's saying no, " Faith says, hoarsely, " and if they do, I'll punch them."

Buffy chuckles, then lowers her head to Faith's breast. Her tongue shoots out, and she flicks back and forth over Faith's nipple and areola. Faith moans. Buffy takes the nipple in her mouth, suckling it, and Faith shivers. She bites it gently, and Faith's hips rock forward. Noticing that, Buffy does it again. Same reaction. She keeps biting.

" Geeze, Buffy, you're making me … oh shit!" She cries softly as a wave of intense pleasure hits her. Her panties are soaked, and she can feel her thighs are wet. Her legs are very, very shaky. Buffy looks up, smiling, nipple still between her teeth.

" Did you?" She mumbles.

" I think so, Damn!"

Buffy giggles, and starts suckling her again. She wraps her arms around Faith, and Faith's hand holds her head to her breast.

What is the girl doing to me?

Faith feels Buffy lower hands, rubbing gently over her ass. She feels like she's in heaven, her whole body warm and her breathing coming harder.

Shit, I'm not even naked yet, and she's made me cum. And working on the next one, the bitch

Faith reaches around Buffy, and starts caressing her back and ass. Buffy wiggles around, sighing at Faith's touch.

" No, no, no… no fair unless you're naked too!" Buffy mumbles. She pulls away from Faith, her lips smacking as her mouth leaves Faith's breast. She fiddles with Faith's belt, and then loosens it. She unzips her jeans, and pushes them off her hips. She kneels down, pulling Faith's jeans halfway down.

" Damn, girl. We forgot your boots." She starts to reach for them as Faith leans over to pull them off.

" I got it, Buffy… ooh… ohhhhh…. " Faith overbalances, then overcompensates and falls back on her butt.

Buffy giggles, and Faith makes a face at her.

" Ow, that hurt!" She cries. Then she starts to laugh.

" Awww… did Faithy fall down go boom?" Buffy crawls over. " Lemme see."

" Buffy, get away," Faith laughs, as she struggles with her boots.

" Lemme see… wanna see the boo-boo"

" Boo-boo my ass, " Faith says, getting a boot off. She works on the other boot.

" Exactly," Buffy giggles. She pushes on Faith, exposing her butt." Where'd you hit?"

" Oh my ass, girl, " Faith laughs, finally managing to get the other boot off.

Buffy smiles wickedly, the pulling down Faith's panties, leans over and kisses her just above her ass crevice. Faith nearly jumps.

" Damn, Buffy, what the hell are you doing?"

" Kissing the boo-boo" Buffy giggles.

Faith starts panting again as Buffy starts to kiss more of the boo-boo. Then she giggles when Buffy bites the boo-boo.

" So, liking my butt, huh?"

" It's pretty." Buffy paddles her.

" HEY!" Faith protests, then says " hey" softly when Buffy kisses where she paddled. " God, you're a nut!"

" Nuh-uh. No nuts here. Just a peach, " Buffy slides a finger between Faith's thighs.

" JESUS, BUFFY ! " Faith squeals, then start crawling away. Her jeans around her calves impede her progress. Buffy catches the jeans, pulling them off.

" Oooo, pretty," Buffy admires Faith's wiggling butt. She goes after her, grabbing her around her thighs. She gives Faith a long slow lick.

" OH… geeezze… Buffy!" Faith hisses, loving that lick.

Holding Faith tightly, Buffy's licks get more serious, and Faith's butt gets really wriggly. Then its rocking back and forth, and Faith starts moaning loudly.

" Geeze… Buffy… oh.. OH… oh yeah ooooh godohgod oh god… aohh ahhhh ahhhh oh DAMN!" She yells, her body hit by wave after wave of pleasure. Buffy looks up, her work rewarded by a face covered in sweet juice. Faith groans….and shudders… and is hit by more waves.

Faith just lies there, her head to the side. She sees Buffy peek around her, and notices her face is wet.

" I just love peaches, " Buffy licks her lips. Then she crawls up and kisses Faith, deeply.

I think I'm gonna die. I really think she's gonna kill me before it's over

Faith pushes herself up, and glares at Buffy.

" You…. I'm so gonna get you" She reaches for her.

Buffy wiggles away, and gets up.

" Gotta catch me first… WHOAAA!"

Buffy didn't count on slayer speed, and Faith scoops her up. She carries her to the bed, and drops her on the mattress. She jumps on beside her, then gathers Buffy in her arms. She pulls her in, and they kiss…and kiss… and oh they kiss.

" Mmm.. think I'm loving this, " Buffy coos softly.

They kiss again, tongue dancing in their mouths, their hands rubbing each other all over. Buffy curls up to Faith, and they cuddle.

Faith stops, and pulls away.

"What is it, baby?" Buffy sounds worried.

Faith rolls Buffy over, and looks at her back. She sees the crisscrossed scars all over it.

" What're these, honey?"

" No, don't look!" Buffy rolls over on her back. She turns her head away, crossing her arms over herself.

" Baby, what?"

" It's so ugly. I'm so ugly," Buffy cries.

" No, baby, no" Faith moves to her, drawing her into her arms. She looks into Buffy's eyes." You're beautiful, love. I just felt them, and didn't know what they were. I didn't want to hurt you, is all."

" You think I'm beautiful? " Buffy looks into Faith's eyes. Her bottom lip quivers. " No you don't. You're just saying that!"

" You're beautiful, Buffy, " Faith plants small warm kisses on Buffy's face. " you're very, very beautiful. " She covers Buffy's face with sweet kisses.

Buffy sighs, happily. " You really think I'm beautiful?" Buffy's voice sounds childlike.

" Very beautiful, Buff. You're so beautiful, " Faith kisses her, her hand wandering all over Buffy's front, " that I get wet just looking at you."

" Oh Faith, oh honeee, " Buffy wraps her arms around her. " I love you so much"

They kiss, Buffy sucking on Faith's tongue. Faith draws in Buffy's tongue, and sucks on it.

Faith rolls Buffy over, and climbs on her, straddling her.

Buffy looks up at her and smiles.

" You like it up there, don't you? On top?"

" Don't hate it, but I don't mind you being on top either. You got me so wet that night, when you were so sexily dressed… I know I ran away… but… god when I went to bed, I had to…" Faith blushes.

" Really? I did that to you?" Buffy smiles.

" Oh god, you … man… it was so intense."

Buffy reaches up, and pulls Faith down into another kiss . Faith starts rubbing her body against Buffy, and Buffy sighs into her mouth.

They break the kiss, staring into each other's eyes.

" Love me? Please, Faith , love me!"

" I do, baby, I love you sooo much."

Faith starts covering her with wet soft kisses. Buffy's head lolls back as Faith moves down her, touching ever little inch of her upper body with her lips.

God, it feels like my nerves are popping, Buffy sighs as Faith continues her lip caresses.

" You got such cute lil boobies," Faith giggles. " I just adore your lil boobies. They're so perky!"

" Thanks, that usually means flat chested" Buffy growls.

" Mmmm…no way" Faith surrounds Buffy's nipple with her mouth, and pulls on it. Buffy groans loudly

" GOD YESSSSS!"

Faith bites the nipple.

" HARDER BABY HARDER!" Buffy cries.

Faith does, then pulls on the nipple. Buffy wriggles under her in pleasure

Faith's eyes go wicked; with the nipple in her teeth, shakes her head.

" OH MY GOD! DO THAT AGAIN I LOVE IT" Buffy screams.

Faith grabs her other nipple and repeats it. Buffy starts moaning, her body wriggling on the bed. Faith keeps worrying Buffy's nipple with her mouth, loving Buffy's reaction. Buffy grabs the sheets, and lets out a loud scream as her body shudders. Faith keeps it up and Buffy's body starts to rock on the bed. She screams again and again, her body writhing under Faith. Then she stiffens, her whole body arches, and she lies still.

Faith panics a little.

" honey? HONEY? ARE YOU OK?"

" Fuck YESSS" "Buffy croaks out. " God my nipples are like super sensitive, you … god I love you" Her arms reach up and pulls Faith back down into a long hot and wet kiss. They break, and their hands caress each other.

Faith's grin gets wicked again, and she's on Buffy again, licking her soft skin. Buffy lays back, just loving the way Faith is making her feel. Faith moves down, and then further…and further… and then she's licking Buffy's fuzzy lil peach.

Buffy goes limp on the bed as Faith sends wonderful hot little fires coursing through her bloodstream. When her peach opens for Faith's loving tongue, Buffy's head goes back, and her eyes close in utter pleasure.

" Yes… ummm hmmm… just like that… oooooo… yeessss….good … oh GOD…ooohh… ohhh… ohhh…OHHH… B-B-BABY yes that right there right there yesss oh baby yesssss god oh mygod I … oh FAITH …FAITH…FAAAAAIIITTHHHH! YEEEAAAAHHH OOOOHHHHH YAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Buffy's slim body almost jumps off the bed as she's hit with a Flood of pleasure. Her head rocks back and forth, and hips keep bouncing and boucing. Faith has to hold on to her not to get knocked off.

Buffy gets a brief calm and then another wave hits her that makes the last one look like a ripple. Every nerve in her body seems to explode, and she almost passes out, her brain is so overloaded. Her body rocks and bounces and Faith just rolls away, afraid that she'll hurt her if she doesn't. Finally, she calms down, and Faith moves over, and wraps her tight in her arms.

They look at each other, Buffy's jaw slack. Faith reaches down and rubs her belly.

" Who would thought so much noise could come from this teeny tiny body, " She laughs.

" You … monster!" Buffy giggles, and throws her arms around her, pulling her in for a loving kiss.

They were no where near done. They spent hours and hours exploring each other, each stimulating the other's creativity to find more and different ways to pleasure each other. The sun was down for hours before they stopped. And that was only because both finally ran out of energy. Tangled in bed sheets and each other's arms, they slept.

Joyce, downstairs, turns up the TV volume to drown out the noise.

"Goodness," She shakes her head, as another cry is heard from upstairs. She blushes a little." Where do they get it? I wish I had half that energy."

11

Willow Rosenberg looks at the stack of bills, and sighs.

Looking at the account balance on her laptop, she wonders how she's going to pay this batch. The only bright spot is that there is some hope of placing Tara in a low cost state sponsored care facility. As Buffy had told her to, she called Joyce Summers and talked with her about it, and it sounded good. Really good. She'd said it wasn't 100 guaranteed, but there was a good chance, a very good chance, of getting Tara in. For the first time in months, Willow felt as if a huge boulder had been lifted off her.

Still, she had these bills to get through, and she wasn't sure how she was going to manage. Dad's check helped, but it didn't really cover. The night job sort of covered the difference, but things were tight, really tight. I might just have to take another semester off next year to catch up again. Damn!…but what choice have I got?

At least, it looked like now she might be able to complete her degree. And she owed it to Buffy.

But that is another thing worrying her tonight. Buffy. And the weird way she'd left her. And that weird warning she'd given Willow. What did she mean, she'd hurt me and everybody? It had bothered Willow all day. Everything had been fine until we talked about Faith loving her. Then she freaked, and ran out. Damaged goods. That's what she called herself. She still's blaming herself for what Spike did to her. God, I'd love to pull that vamps teeth out of his mouth with a pair of pliers. Or an ice pick. But that really isn't the issue. What did she mean she'd hurt everyone. How?

She is still trying to puzzle it out when she hears a knock at the door. She gets up, wondering who it was at this time of night, when the knocking gets louder, more insistent. Puzzled, she looks through the peephole, then opens the door.

" Yes, can I help… wait, I know you, don't I? RIGHT! You're Ford, Buffy's friend!" She smiles and steps back. " Did you want to come in? Buffy's not here…"

" Actually, I was hoping you'd come out. It's about Buffy. She's missing." Ford says.

Willow gets a chill in her tummy.

For the first time, she notices how pale he is.

" Missing? Ford, what's going on?"

"We were going to go to lunch, but she came by and said she had to cancel, that she and Faith were going on a nest hunt. I should've been suspicious right away, because she was acting a little strange. I mean, not like talking to herself strange, but she seemed … off. Anyway, I said ok. But as time passed, thinking about how she'd been acting, I got suspicious. So I called her house, and Faith happened to be there. There was no nest hunt. I told Faith what Buffy told me, and after swearing a blue streak, she said she'd call Giles, and asked if I'd get you. We're going to meet downtown, and look for her."

" Geeze, I can't believe Buffy would go after a nest alone…" But then Willow remembered the strangeness from this morning. God, what if she did go alone? What if she wanted to… oh god!

" Wait, let me get my coat." Willow says. She retreats, and a minute later she's back, slipping into her coat. " Let's go!"

As the walk down the steps towards Ford's car, Willow turns to him. " You said she was acting weird. How?"

" I don't know. It just was like she was distracted. She seemed nervy and jumpy, and seemed to be feeling guilty about something." Ford's face furrows." God, I only hope she's going to be ok!"

" Me, too, " Willow says, falling into a muse.

What if she …god, she was so convinced she was damaged goods. What if she went against the nest for revenge, and didn't want Faith there? Or… what if she went to prove her worth to Faith. She was thinking she was damaged…

Willow is so distracted she never even sees the chloroform-soaked cloth coming. She struggles briefly, but the fumes soon overcome her.

Ford gently lowers Willow to the ground. Sticking the rag in his pocket, he pulls out a roll of duct tape. He binds her hands and feet, and puts some over her mouth. Stowing that, he picks her up, and carries her to his car. Opening the back seat, he puts her in, covering her with a blanket.

He closes the door, and whistling to himself, gets in the car. It soon pulls out and disappears down the road.

12

Buffy lays quietly in the dark, watching Faith sleep.

My sweet beautiful goddess, my loving moon goddess.

She carefully extracts herself from Faith's arms, slipping quietly out of her bed. She stands for a moment, naked, looking down at Faith. Her whole body seems to shiver in lust as she looks at her. So sweet, so very, very sweet. She leans over, and kisses her softly on the lips.

"mmmm… Buff? " Faith mumbles, drowsily. " What?"

" Shhh… baby, go back to sleep. Just gotta go pee…unless you wanna watch?"

"You're evil, you know that?" Faith mutters, snuggling down.

" Sleep, precious, sleep. I'll be back soon." She whispers.

She watches until she's sure Faith is asleep again, then she picks up her clothing off the floor, draping it over the vanity chair. Quietly, so not to disturb Faith, she goes to her closet. She closes the door behind her, and turns on the light. Rummaging through her things, she picks out a pair of black leather pants and a black mesh see through top. She grabs a pair of boots off the floor, then extinguishes the light.

Looking over at Faith, she smiles when she sees she's still sleeping. She goes over to the vanity, and picks up a few bottles and jars. She quietly tiptoes to the door, and slips through it.

Listening in the hallway, she hears the TV going downstairs. Good, she's not up here yet. Buffy slips into the bathroom, and after closing the door, she flips on the light.

She takes a quick shower, and towels off. Still nude, she applies makeup, paying particular care to her eyes and lips. Liking the results, she leans over and kisses the mirror. Mmmm… not as nice as Faith's lips, but it'll do.

She wriggles into the leather pants, and pulls on the top. She takes a quick glance in the mirror, approves, and then quietly lets herself out.

Good, still watching the TV. Hope it's a good show, mom! She giggles to herself. She carefully makes her way to her bedroom, and slips in.

She watches the sleeping Faith for awhile, her heart beating fast in her chest. God, she's sooo… Buffy sighs. Shaking herself, she quietly slips to the window, and opens it.

She takes one final look at Faith.

Soon my love, we'll leave this all behind. We'll be together, away from this madness. Together in each other's arms.

Forever!

She quietly slips out the window.

13

Willow comes awake as they're carrying her upstairs.

She's being hauled up by two people, each holding on to an arm. She wants to scream, but can't because her mouth is gagged. She soon realizes that her hands and feet are bound too.

What? Where am I? What happened…Ford! That …he knocked me out. But why? He's Buffy's friend. What's going on? Why'd they kidnap me? Even though she knows It's useless, she struggles against her captors.

" Don't struggle, Willow. It won't help, and only make it harder on you," Ford says from behind her. " We'll be there soon."

You son of a bitch! Willow thinks to herself as she's dragged upstairs, If I get out of this, I'm so gonna…what? What're you going to do, Will? Damn! I wish Faith was here… or Buffy. God!

They reach the top of the stairs, and drag her through a set of double doors. Her heart almost falls out of her chest when she looks down. There's no floor! Where's the floor! Then she realizes a floor is there, it's just clear. God, what IS this place?

They haul her into the center of the room, and put her on the round platform They carefully remove the tape gag.

Willow screams.

" Screaming won't help, Willow. No one will hear you. and even if they did, no one would come rescue you." Ford says, sitting next to her. " Are you alright? Are the cuffs too tight? We can adjust them."

" You son of a BITCH!" Willow spits on him. " I thought you were Buffy's friend. Why'd you do this? Where am I? What's going on?"

"Shhh… calm down, Willow," Ford says, smiling." No one's going to hurt you. All your questions will be answered in time by the Mistress."

Ford looks up, and it's then that Willow notices the small blond woman standing, back to her, seeming to be looking at the floor. She notices she's wearing dark leather pants and a top of some kind.

God, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that's…

The woman turns around, and smiles.

BUFFY!

" Buffy! Oh my god! Are you alright? We've got to get OUT of here!"

Buffy walks over to her, and sits by her. She puts an arm around Willow, and strokes her thigh with the other hand.,

" Now, Willow. Why would I want to do that?"

To be continued