Chapter one: Days of bitter cold
"Who's that?" The nurse in training looked curiously at the boy who entered the hospital. He held a great bunch of flowers in his right and a CD player in his left. Determinedly he headed toward the door and greeted the nurses shortly.
"That's Kaioh Michiru's boyfriend. He comes every day to visit her and stays until evening." Answered the nurse and watched the boy entering the room.
"Kaioh Michiru? The famous violin player? The daughter of Kaioh Gendo? The famous piano player who died two months ago because of a car accident?" asked the younger woan with her eyes wide open.
"Hai. It's a wonder that she survived. We all thought she would never awake from her coma and even the doctor gave up. But she fought and survived."
"But the visiting hours aren't yet. They start in the afternoon." Wondered the nurse in training and tugged at her white apron. She wasn't used to it yet.
"This boy's kind of a medicine. The doctor said she's recovering just because she sees him so often. He gives her the hope and the strength she needs to accept her fate." Explained the nurse and sighed. "Let's go on working. You shall learn a lot and not gossip with me!" She clapped in her hands and they both disappeared in the corridor.
"Hi, Michi-chan." Haruka entered the room and put the CD player on the table in the middle. Two weeks after the accident the young violinist was allowed to leave the intensive care unit and even her doctor was surprised how fast she recovered. She had no brain damage and the rest of her body regained strength very quickly. Her broken bones healed and now two moths after the accident Michiru didn't want to stay in hospital any longer. There would be other meetings and a lot of therapies to attend, but Michiru slowly got sick of the hospital, as well, as of the stench of antiseptic and ill people.
"Ruka!" The wheelchair turned around and Michiru rolled over to her. She was wearing her light blue tracksuit. Different magazines laid on her lap and her blue eyes shone. "I wanna go to this high school!" declared the young violinist loudly, then she smiled at the flowers.
"White roses. Are they for me?" she asked and her smile grew even wider. She raised her hand and touched the soft petals. "I love how they smell." She whispered and took a deep breath.
"You really want to go back to school, don't you?" asked Haruka while she put the flowers in a vase and sat down on the bed next to the wheelchair. Michiru learned quickly to handle it. The nurse said that she had a talent for it. Michiru practised hard because she didn't want to stay in bed forever as she had told Haruka.
"Don't make such a face! You aren't so good that you can miss an entire school year. After all it is in Tokyo and there we would have our own apartment. All pupils have their own rooms or apartments there and I've got enough money to pay the rent. It's a very good boarding school and I won't see anything that remembers me of my parents."
Haruka gazed for some seconds sadly at the suddenly pale girl next to her. Michiru hardly spoke about her parents's death, but Haruka knew that it hurt a lot. The young violinist simply didn't want to move into one of the houses or the flats her parents left her. She wanted to live in another region for some years until she had enough strength to accept and to understand her family's sudden death. The persons who meant everything in her life. Who loved her with all their hearts.
Haruka leaned forward and touched gently the musician's left hand. She smiled understanding.
"The school takes talented young people and teaches them until graduation. We don't have to change school till we finish it. That's great."
"Talented people?" Haruka frowned and looked down at the pamphlets in Michiru's lap.
"Hai, I am known as a violin player and you're Junior Champion of Japan as a motorbike racer. They simply couldn't refuse us."
"Couldn't?" asked Haruka alarmed and raised one eyebrow as she saw the innocent look in Miciru's deep blue eyes. The special look she got to know too well during the last two months. Whatever Michiru wanted she achieved it. She left the hospital for some hours weeks before she would have been normally allowed. She convinced the doctor that spaghettis and tomato sauce was better for her than pudding. She got a single room after she argued too much with the old woman who she had shared a room with after she came from the intensive care unit.
"Well, Ruka. Here's our letters of confirmation. The school already accepted us. Besides, the doctor told me that I will leave the hospital next week and I don't want to return to my parents' beach house before I am ready." She held up two letters and grinned a guilty grin, but her eyes shone excitedly. Haruka just couldn't argue with her. Michiru finally found something to live for after the accident and the young racer was pleased about it. She was relieved that Michiru invested so much will and strength in her future after she got to know the truth about her body's irrelevant damage. First Haruka had feared that the young violinist would give up herself and grieve to death. But she didn't. She didn't give up.
She's the strongest person I know.
Haruka raised her hand and stroked some sea green strands on her best friend's small back. Her best and only friend.
"You aren't angry, are you? You see, you'll love this school, too." Michiru put some pamphlets in Haruka's hands and rolled over to the table which was covered with some more.
"Mugen Gakkuen? A strange name for a high school."
"But a very exclusive one." Michiru pushed some buttons on the CD player and soft violin music filled the air. It was the first concert the young violinist had ever given. Her parents had recorded it and Haruka took the CD out of the sea house she was staying at the moment. She wasn't allowed to stay all day and all night at hospital even if she wanted to.
Michiru took a deep breath and rolled back to the bed and took Haruka's hand in her suddenly icy ones.
"And the apartment is made for handicapped people."
Haruka looked up from the pamphlets and stared into the pale face of the girl who was sitting in the wheelchair. Who would never be able to leave it again. The doctor declared her sadly that her backbone was damaged too much and that she wasn't able to move her legs anymore. Michiru still felt them, felt the pain when the broken bones were healing. But she didn't have the strength anymore to move them or even to stand on them. All her life she would be dependent on the wheelchair.
Haruka squeezed gently the hand in her own ones and smiled loving at the pale girl. Michiru was very silent after she got to know about the truth and didn't want to see anyone during the next days. Not even Haruka. Then she asked after a wheelchair and since that day she learned very hard to handle it as if it was her legs now. She didn't give up and fought hard. The way she planned her high school future showed how much she hung on life.
Hope her enthusiasm is not only for her a chance to ignore her handicap.
However, each time Haruka tried to talk to her about that topic Michiru simply changed it and so the young racer decided to give her some more time to think it over. To accept it. And maybe to understand it.
"So you're going to leave this terrible house at last?" asked Haruka and the smile that bloomed on Michiru's face warmed her heart.
"Hai, next week. When the doctor won't let me go, I'll leave this scary building by myself. And no one can hinder me!" Michiru made such a determined face that Haruka smiled automatically back.
"Sure you will." Haruka leaned forward and embraced the young violinist in the wheelchair. She laid her head on the small shoulder and looked down at the pamphlets in Michiru's lap.
"So tell me something more about Mugen Gakkuen ."
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The wind blew sharply and tears were burning in her eyes. She wore a thick jacket and thick pants. A scarf protected her neck and gloves her hands. Determinedly she pushed her wheelchair down the hospital's drive. She didn't want any help. She was able to reach every goal by herself.
It was such a wonderful weather when I left our house.
Michiru raised her head on looked at the empty trees. They looked like ghosts. Grey and naked. The leaves disappeared some weeks ago and now nature was waiting for snow. The sky was covered with grey clouds and the sun hardly ever found a way through them any longer.
The entire city around looks so pale, so dirty. So dead...
Michiru swallowed and fought successfully against the tears in her blue eyes. Her back hurt as she pushed the wheelchair toward the parking space. Of course it had an automatic service but she didn't want to lose the little strength that was left in her arms after the accident. If she used the automatic service she would give in that she was helpless and she didn't want to be helpless.
Or weak!
Her strong Haruka carried her bags. She walked silently beside her. First she wanted to help her but one look in Michiru's determined face told her that she better took the bags and kept silent.
"What...?" Michiru stopped the wheelchair and looked surprised at the large dark blue car Haruka headed toward. It was a station wagon, had five doors and was big enough for a big family.
Or a wheelchair...
Michiru suppressed a sob and lowered her head as Haruka helped her out of the wheelchair and into the front-passenger seat. She embraced her and held her tight. For some moments they stayed this way. Haruka pulled her gently against her warm body.
"I sold my Suzuki." She declared after a while and looked with a strange expression Michiru had never seen on her face down at the smaller girl. "The race two months ago was my last one. I don't want to go back again. It was my father's dream, not mine." Haruka smiled confidently. She didn't tell Michiru that she decided for this car because it was big enough for the wheelchair. And she didn't tell her that it was ideal for being modified some years in the future when the young violinist was old enough to get her own driver's licence.
Michiru just nodded and watched Haruka putting the wheelchair in the boot and taking seat behind the steering wheel.
"You're only fifteen. How can you drive a car by your own?" she asked after they started The houses rushed by and Michiru hardly recognized the city she grew up. It all looked so different. So strange.
"Hey, I am Japan's Junior Champion. I got my driver's licence when I was ten years old. I got it for the bike and for the car because my father wanted me to be a formula one racer after I'd reach World's Championship with the Suzuki." said Haruka and observed the mirrors. The young violinist watched her for some minutes in silence. Then she raised her hand and stroked over the scar that was visible on the girl's right cheek. Slowly it got paler and maybe it would disappear one day. However, the mental scars wouldn't disappear that quick. Maybe they'd stay forever...
"Does it still hurt?" she asked and looked into surprised green eyes. They hardly spoke about Haruka's father and how he treated his daughter to become a cool, independent motorbike racer. How he forced her to cross her limits, to break the records and to be the best motorbike racer of Japan. But Michiru suspected a lot and it hurt her to know that Haruka was beaten by her father more than once.
"It's okay." The young racer took the stroking hand in her right one while the left one still held the steering wheel. Lovingly she smiled at the smaller girl and wondered how she could be so concerned about her when she had her own nightmares to face.
It's okay. As long as you're with me.
She wanted to say it aloud but since that night when she almost lost her Michi-chan, Haruka didn't find the right words or simply the courage to say them out loud. But often Michiru seemed to understand her without any words.
The young violinist smiled back and squeezed the hand gently.
"I know." She whispered. Then she looked out of the window. They had left the city and now drove along the beach. The Mugen Gakkuen was located a little bit outside Tokyo near the sea. Michiru glanced out to the wide ocean and the waves that were reflected in tears suddenly burning in her deep blue eyes.
I loved it to walk along the sand. To swim in the fresh water...
She turned away and switched on the radio. Then she closed her eyes and listened to the classic music. She had spent her summers in a light house by the sea with her parents. When her father needed the peace and silence there to compose his music and when her mother was on vacation. It had been the best summers of her life. There she could have been as wild and as loud as she hadn't been allowed to be in their city house. As she hadn't been allowed at school or on the stage.
Those summers are over. Forever.
Again the warm hand squeezed her icy one.
In a summer like that I met my Ruka for the first time. She raced along the beach with her Suzuki and almost ran me over. She was so sorry about it and invited me to an ice cream in the city. I went with her and we had a great day. For the next weeks she visited me every day and it had been the best weeks of my life.
Michiru squeezed the hand back and took a deep breath.
Until Haruka's father found out...
"We're... there." Heard Michiru her best friend's voice. She knew what Haruka first wanted to say: We're home. But both of them didn't have a real home anymore.
Michiru opened her eyes and looked at the girl sitting next to her.
All we have is each other.
She looked out of the window as Haruka took the wheelchair. They stood on a huge parking space near the huge towers of Mugen Gakkuen. It was the largest construction Michiru had ever seen before. It was surrounded by a wall of trees and the sea rushed near. There were great meadows between the towers and other trees, as well. Just like banks, a playground and diverse sport places. Michiru was sure that there was more she couldn't see yet. More inside and outside the huge buildings.
This is my future.
She decided to go to this exclusive school, together with her Ruka. They never discussed it. It was clear that Haruka would follow her Michiru everywhere. Just once she asked why it was possible for Michiru to rent an apartment and Michiru just explained that she had a good lawyer. And enough money. She didn't get a guardian because her lawyer was good enough to prevent it. She needn't one.
Ruka's my guardian angel.
Carefully Haruka took Michiru in her strong arms and helped her into the wheelchair. In some months she would be strong enough to get in and out of the car by herself but at the moment she needed help for it.
"I'll take the bags later. First let's find someone who shows us our apartment." Declared Haruka and Michiru just nodded. Silently the young racer walked slowly beside Michiru who pushed her wheelchair with all her desperate strength.
"Welcome to Mugen Gakkuen!" A woman stood at the entrance and smiled at them. She wore a dark suit and her red hair fell open on her back. "I am Kaori. I am here to show you to your rooms and to welcome you. Dr. Tomoe wanted to welcome you but unfortunately his daughter had an attack and so I am here for him." She declared and shook their hands.
"I am Kaioh Michiru." Said Michiru and tried to bow in her wheelchair but it didn't feel right. She bit her lips but held back a swearword.
"I am Tenô Haruka." Haruka bowed as well and touched gently the smaller girl's right shoulder.
"We're pleased to have you as our pupils at our school. You will like it. Only renowned children of known parents are allowed to visit our school. But please do come with me." She bowed and went out into one of the huge towers. It was even and Michiru couldn't see any steps. Huge elevator brought the persons at the different storeys. This tower had over thirty of them.
"This is the living-tower as I call it. The school is in those towers over there." Kaori pointed through the huge windows while they entered the elevator. It was outside the building and consisted of glass. When they got up the ocean appeared in front of them. The could oversee the area of Mugen Gakkuen and the beach behind, and the endless sea. The sun shone shortly though the thick clouds and the water started to shimmer. Automatically Haruka took away her sunglasses and watched the ocean quietly. She turned her head and saw tears shinning in Michiru's eyes and knew that she had the same thought as she.
This is were we first met. Were we dreamed a great dream of a great future.
"I've heard a lot about your music, Miss Kaioh." said Kaori as they finally left the elevator and walked along the corridor. The walls consisted of glass, too, and they could still see to the ocean. The other walls were made of normal stone. Behind them the apartments were hidden. "I like it. You have an expensive Stradivarius, don't you?"
"Hai." Replied Michiru politely but she didn't want to think of the small case that laid on the backseat of the car, as well. Haruka brought it with her from the light house by the sea, together with the notes. But Michiru wasn't sure if she would ever be able to touch the instrument again.
The corridor was even as well and as they reached the door to their future apartment Michiru could see that there was no threshold as there were in the hospital. She had real problems to get over them with her wheelchair. Tiny steps that hadn't interested her at all when she was able to walk. She hadn't even noticed them back then.
Kaori followed her look and smiled an understanding adult smile.
"Ten percent of all our pupils are handicapped in one way or the other, Miss Kaioh. Dr. Tomoe built these towers with the look of handicapped, high intelligent people who don't get the chance to study at a normal school. One of the reasons for him being so understanding is that his daughter survived a tragic accident some years ago and she hasn't really recovered now. She can use her legs but often she's simply too weak to. So you won't find any borders for your wheelchair." Kaori opened the door and handled each of them some keys and some id-cards.
"If you have any problems or questions, feel free to call me or my colleagues. But I have to apologize myself now. I promised the sports class to go swimming with them in our swimming pool this afternoon." She winked and was gone.
"A nice person." nodded Michiru and rolled into the apartment. She stood in the living-room and huge windows showed out to a huge terrace. From there you could oversee the ocean. Two bedrooms were after a small corridor to the left and the kitchen and a big bath on the right side. It was the biggest bath even Michiru had ever seen. There was a shower and a tube. The tube had a special seat that would help her into the warm water and out without the need of any help from other persons. The washbasins were on her height and the mirrors, too. Haruka had to bow a little bit but she didn't complain at all.
All was covered with soft carpet. Even the kitchen. The cocker was smaller than normal and she could almost reach all pans.
"It's a strange feeling. " whispered Michiru as she rolled on the terrace. Here was no threshold, too. The underground was even and there were some chairs around a round table. The rim was high but it consisted of unbreakable class so that she was able to look down at the wide ocean. Suddenly tears were again shimmering in her eyes and she fought hard against them. Wind played with her long sea green hair and for the first time after she'd left the hospital she really recognized what it meant to be paraplegic.
No more running, no more riding. No more swimming...
Two strong arms took her out of the wheelchair. Michiru looked asking up into dark green eyes. Haruka went over to one of the deckchairs and sat down with the young violinist on her lap. She embraced her and held her tight. Slightly she rocked her while they watched the sun reflecting in the surface. Rough wind went through their clothes but they didn't even notice the cold.
"Is this our new home?" asked Michiru with a quiet voice and leaned her head against Haruka's shoulder. The taller girl leaned her head against Michiru's one and started to stroke the sea green hair that felt like velvet.
"I don't know." Answered the young racer honestly and pulled her best friend closer.
My home is wherever you are.
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"Good morning, boys and girls. Today we have to welcome two new pupils." The young teacher stood in front of the class. They were all talented and very intelligent pupils from rich parents. The teacher, a friendly woman with long blond hair, looked for some seconds in expectant faces, then she waved toward the door.
"Come on in. Don't be so shy."
Haruka took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. They moved into Mugen Gakkuen one week ago and they both knew that they'd have to join the lessons. But she wasn't very keen on school. There were more important things to do than to study for silly exams she wasn't really interested in to pass. She preferred to go with Michiru to the doctor's appointments to see her regaining her strength. To pray every time that a wonder would happen and that her Michi-chan's life wouldn't be so hard any longer. It was more important for her to go to the cemetery together with the young violinist and to talk to her about her feelings about her parents' death.
And now I am standing here.
Haruka wore the boy's uniform of Mugen Gakkuen and as she looked that morning in the mirror she had to admit that she really looked like a boy. With the brown trousers, the green jacket and the short blond hair she really looked like the son her father had always wanted to have. The young racer lowered her head and watched Michiru silently sitting in her wheelchair. She wore the girl's uniform, but decided herself for a long green skirt instead of a short one. The green and brown colours were okay but a blue dress would have suited her better. Her sea green hair were bound together in her neck and her face was very pale.
She looks like a porcelain doll.
Shortly they exchanged glances then they entered the room. Together.
"These are Kaioh Michiru and Tenô Haruka." Introduced the teacher them to the class. "They're part of our community now and I hope you will be nice to them." The boys and girls nodded well behaved and several curious looks touched Haruka but she didn't care about them. Her face was as empty as Michiru's. Shortly they introduced each other to the class. Just a few words spoken with insensible voices. Just a few words that told their new class mates about their hobbies, their favourite lessons and the lessons they didn't like at all. Just a few words that didn't betray anything about them. About their real characters. About their feelings. About their fears. About their hopes and their dreams.
The rest of the class stood up one after one, bowed and said some words to his or her person, too. The same short words that said nothing at all. And even if they did, Haruka and Michiru didn't notice them. They didn't even listen to them. They just stood their and watched the different pupils with empty eyes.
Michiru looked up for some seconds and Haruka understood without a word. Carefully she pushed the wheelchair to the two free places near the window and sat down next to the young violinist.
"Okay, and now we want to go on with Shakespeare." The teacher smiled as some pupils groaned but they all opened their books and looked more or less interested at the lines. A girl with long, fire red hair and light blue eyes turned slightly around and observed the new boy in class. Seldom she had seen such a beautiful boy and she decided that he was perfect for her. She smiled to herself because she already imaged herself with him by her side. It was just a matter of time. Up to today she always got what she wanted. Her smile fated slightly as she saw how the boy reached under the table for the hand of the handicapped girl and held it tight. Shortly they exchanged glances that weren't so empty any longer as they had been only minutes before when they were introduced to the class. Then they concentrated on the text, with fingers still entwined.
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They stood in front of the huge blackboard. Different sheets of paper covered the green background.
"The athletics' team?" Michiru rolled next to Haruka and watched her how she wrote her name on one sheet.
"Why not? Otherwise can you imagine me in a club where I should sit calm and quietly and listen to the teacher's voice?"
A smile appeared on Michiru's still pale face. She was a little bit worn-out because of the lessons. It was the first lesson she had taken part at since over two months. Before the accident she had been on vacation with her parents and so she hadn't concentrated on one topic for a long time. And she wasn't used to sit so long without moving around. Her back hurt and often it happened that she simply forgot about her handicapped body and wanted to stand up and to go in front of the class to explain anything in maths or in English. Quickly she remembered her handicap as her legs didn't obey. Fortunately Haruka didn't notice. Michiru didn't want her best friend being more concerned about her than she already was.
"No." She replied and watched how Haruka went over to a page that hang too high for the smaller girl to reach. Without hesitation the young racer wrote down the young violinist's name. Just at the next page she turned around and looked asking at Michiru who just shook her head.
"Drawing is fine. But I don't wanna play the violin in front of audience. Not yet." She said, then she looked away.
"Okay, then our schedule is set. I just don't understand why I should learn French. I am already bad enough in English and Japanese is the hardest foreign language for me of all."
"Don't complain, Ruka. At least you didn't have to take the lessons in cooking I chose for myself."
"You aren't keen on eating what I create." Haruka shrugged her shoulders and put the pen aside. "And I don't want to miss your dinners. What we ate yesterday was delicious."
"Hai, it was pizza from the Italian restaurant in the city. They sent it free house." Said Michiru and made a face but the shinning in her deep blue eyes betrayed her.
"But YOU was the one who put it on the plates. No one can put pizza on a plate like you do." teased Haruka and leaned forward. Carefully she took the young violinist's pale face in her suddenly trembling hands and looked with a now very serious expression on her face down at her.
"Let's go for a walk along the beach. Do me that honour, Michi-chan. We didn't leave the towers after we came here one week ago."
Michiru took a deep breath, then she lowered her look. Her hands grabbed the armrest of the wheelchair so hard that the wrist got white.
"Didn't you forget anything?" she asked with a very quiet voice. "There's all this sand and the stones and I.."
"Don't worry about that." Answered Haruka and forced her best friend to look back into her dark green eyes. "Do you remember, Michi-chan, when you told me two years ago that we could handle every situation if we just wanted to?"
The young violinist remembered too well her Haruka being very desperate at their last evening after her father found out about them. It was the first time that Michiru saw the strong racer cry. She comforted her all evening until Haruka's father came and took her away from her.
We didn't have the chance to talk again during the following two years.
"Michi-chan?"
All I ever wanted was to be together with her. And now I am together with her and I am still sad. That's so crazy.
She smiled a sad smile and touched Haruka's hands gently. Her back hurt even more and she was sure that her weak, useless legs would join it soon but she couldn't say no when Haruka called her with that pleading voice. She could look like a puppy with her green eyes and she knew it.
All I ever wanted was to be a partner for Ruka. A partner, not a burden...
"Hai. But afterwards you'll repair this vehicle."
"Don't worry, I repaired my Suzuki several times and once I've touched your race car it will be so fast that no one can overcome you again." Haruka took the handlebars of the wheelchair and turned it around and around until Michiru started to giggle.
"Stop it or I'll throw up my lunch." She giggled and tried to reach for Haruka's arms. She laid her head in her neck and looked up in the racer's wolfish grinning face.
"Better you do so. The school meals weren't very delicious." Replied Haruka and raced with her across the school tower's entrance hall. "And now we see Kaioh Michiru how she beats all her opponents. Soon she will cross the finish line and then she'll we have proven that she's not only the most beautiful girl, but also the fastest and the..."
"Ruka! Watch out!" Michiru stopped to giggle and they both almost crashed into the group of girls leaving the elevator.
"Oops." A girl with shoulder long, blond almost white hair and glasses jumped aside while another one with the same hairstyle but green hair just looked surprised at the two fellows.
"Gomen." Said the two racers with one excusing voice.
"You are the new pupils?" asked the first girl and bowed. "I am Ochi Rumiko and that's my younger sister Tarô. It's nice to meet you." They bowed to each other and Haruka and Michiru introduced themselves again.
"I heard you draw very well. I can't wait to see one of your drawings in origin. They wrote a lot in the newspapers during the past years. I am in the drawing's club, too." Said Rumiko and smiled friendly at the girl down in the wheelchair.
"Are you a couple?" It burst out of Tarô and she blushed deeply as she saw her older sister's warning looks.
"Gomen, but my sister doesn't know how to behave. Tarô! What have I told you?"
"Don't ask too much, I know. But then I'll stay stupid. And do you want a stupid sister?"
"You devil!"
"You jerk!"
"You idiot!"
"You baka!"
The sister's argument was interrupted as the elevator's door opened again and a girl with long, fire red hair came out. She wore her hair open and her look was determined.
"Are you arguing again? You're a dishonour for Mugen Gakkuen!" she snapped at the girls who bowed automatically in front of her.
"Gomen. But she's such a baka!"
"Gomen. But she's such a baby!"
"Ah, and you're the new ones." The girl looked critically at Michiru but her expression changed into something softer as she watched Haruka from top to the toes.
"That's Okuda Ayako." Introduced Rumiko the girl to the others. Michiru tried to bow in her wheelchair while Haruka just frowned. She didn't know why but she didn't like that girl. She could slightly remember her standing up to introduce herself this morning but she didn't listen. Really listen.
"You don't sit for long in this chair, d'ya?" asked Ayako and couldn't hold back a satisfied smile as the smaller girl became paler.
Maybe she thinks she's something special just because she has his attention. But she is just a little, handicapped girl who misuses her power she has over him. The power of sympathy. But she doesn't deserve him. And I'll make that clear to her. Up to the next school year he'll be mine. That's for sure!
"O, I didn't notice. Was it an accident? My nephew has to sit in a wheelchair, too, after he fell off a horse." Said Takô who talked a lot when the day was long. "Did you suffer for a long time? Well, now you're on Mugen Gakkuen and surely you will be very happy here."
"Hai, because the whole building is build for people like you, too. Because Dr. Tomoe's daughter is such a bloody cripple, too."
"Ayako! Tarô! That's enough! Don't you feel ashamed of yourselves?" Rumiko stepped protectively between the new pupils and her friends.
"Arigato, Rumiko. It's okay." Michiru raised her head and looked into dark green eyes and shook slightly her head. She didn't want troubles at the new school. Surely not all pupils had that bad opinion. She saw how Haruka took a deep breath and slowly opened her fists. She raised her hand and stroke some strands of sea green hair on her best friend's small back.
"Let's go, Michi-chan." She whispered and took the wheelchair's handlebars. They didn't look at the three girls again as they left the entrance hall.
"Go?" whispered Ayako and raised one eyebrow but the two didn't hear her. And if they did they didn't react.
"How could you dare?" Rumiko yelled at her friends and saw shocked the satisfied expression on Ayako's face. The red haired girl stepped giggling back in the elevator and waved toward the others. But only Tarô followed her. Rumiko stood alone in the hall for a while and couldn't believe the last words she heard before the door closed.
"Soon he will recognize that she's nothing but a bloody cripple!"
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Cripple.
Bloody cripple.
Michiru laid awake in her bed. She couldn't find any sleep and she knew she didn't want it anymore. Not when nightmares would be haunting her.
What had begun as a wonderful afternoon ended in a disaster. She almost fell out of the wheelchair when one wheel got caught in the sand. Desperately she tried to reach for a mussel but couldn't get it. And after Haruka hat picked it up for her she didn't want it anymore. She threw it into the waves of the ocean and regretted it immediately. It made her so sad when she looked out to the sea and knew that the days when she swam out there like a fish were gone. Forever gone.
Then their dinner burned in the oven because she didn't have to power to open the heavy oven door and Haruka was under the shower and couldn't hear her yells. When she tried to set the table she broke two plates and knocked over her mug and the hot tea ruined her new uniform's green skirt. She wanted to wash it but she just couldn't reach the soap Haruka had put on a higher level of the cupboard without thinking. After she cleaned the cloth she decided to take a bath. Of course she never used the chair before to get into the tube and with a awkward motion she lost balance and fell into the water. Well, she couldn't have drown in the light water but she splashed the bathroom and then she actually didn't get out of that silly tube again. It was only possible with Haruka's help.
She went, well, she rolled directly into her bedroom and let Haruka watch the film they both had wanted to watch all afternoon. She didn't want to see it anymore. She simply felt ashamed. Not that Haruka had seen her naked. That was okay. She had nothing Haruka didn't have, too. Michiru simply felt ashamed because her best friend had seen her so helpless. So weak.
The young violinist switched on her CD player and pulled the headphone over her ears. She didn't want to hear anything more from the cruel world. Silently she listened to the soft woman's voice. Her father gave her this CD to her last birthday and she loved it. The songs were full of love but also full of despair. She chose a very slow, very sad song and heard it again and again while she stared at the ceiling of her bedroom and wondered if it had been such a good idea to come to Mugen Gakkuen. Sure it was her lifeline. She needed a goal after those terrible weeks in hospital. All she wanted was to escape the pitying looks of the nurses and the doctors who declared her that there was no hope for her handicap to be cursed.
Bloody cripple.
Michiru reached for the remote control and the music got louder in her ears. She didn't want to hear the girl's voice anymore.
And I don't want to cry anymore!
The young violinist pushed her icy hands on her burning eyes and took a shaky breath. She didn't want to think about the next time she had to go to the toilette. Now she couldn't simply leave the bed and walk over to the huge bathroom. Now she had to climb somehow into that damn wheelchair, get right through the door and somehow get on this bloody toilette without falling on the ground.
I won't wake Haruka up for such a normal thing.
But now for her it wasn't normal anymore. It was also very hard for her to get dressed in the morning and to get ready for bed in the evening. She didn't want to be dressed like a baby, although Haruka would have helped her if she'd asked.
She always wants to help me. But I don't need her help. I don't need her sympathy. I don't need...
Michiru shook her head and sighed deeply.
The doctor told her every appointment that took place twice a week that she would learn it. She had to learn so many things from the beginning as if she was just a five year old girl. The accident was just two and a half months ago and it needed time.
Time! Time won't solve any problems!
Michiru tried hard to behave as normal as possible. As she used to be before that bad accident. But deep inside she was desperate and broken. She didn't show it – not even Haruka. She didn't want to concern her best friend and she didn't need the sympathy of any pupil in her class.
I have to handle it. As I have handled so many complicate situations in my life before.
Michiru turned her head toward the open window and watched the cold wind playing with the curtains. The young violinist laid on her blanket and her breath froze in front of her face. Her body shivered and she was cold but she didn't care about it.
But this is the most complicate situation of all. Well, at least Haruka seems to understand me a little bit. Without her I wouldn't be sure what to do. Without her I wouldn't know how to carry on with all this.
She had thought that going to Mugen Gakkuen would solve some of her problems. Here she would have a new home and new teachers. And new fellow students. But actually nothing changed. She used to be the rich brat in her normal school. The spoiled child of the famous piano player.
Now I am just a bloody cripple. What a career!
Michiru turned on her side in the bed and kept staring out of the window. But the sky was cloudy and she didn't see any stars nor the moon. Suddenly she felt very alone.
The violinist tried to roll herself up in a ball like she used to do when she felt so sad. But today she suppressed a sob as her hurting body refused this motion.
dbdbdb
She left her shower as she heard the ringing of the door bell. Ayako frowned and covered her body with her bathrobe. Who could this be? She didn't expect any guests, especially not at that late hour when she had to write an English test the next day.
"Just one moment." She called and corrected her still wet hair quickly in the corridor mirror. Then she opened the door and froze as she saw the shadow standing outside. Dark green eyes shone angrily at her but the rest of the pale face was calm and without any expression.
"Haruka?" asked the girl surprised and stepped back to let the boy in. Shortly she observed the black tracksuit he was wearing and the messed blonde hair. It seemed as if he had already slept for a couple of hours.
He's so be beautiful!
"Don't you want to come in?" asked Ayako and raised an eyebrow as the boy simply shook his head. Then she saw his clenched fists and that he breathed hard as if he had run all the way to her door.
"If you ever call her a cripple again, you'll regret it." Said Haruka with a calm but dangerous quiet voice. She didn't want to think of the fragile shadow lying on the huge bed listening to one sad song. Again and again. Of course she heard the silent sobbing as she watched the movie without really seeing it. It hurt her so much to see her Michi-chan in pain not knowing what to do. Of course everything went wrong this evening but the young racer was sure that it wasn't only destiny's fault. Since that so selfish grinning girl said those cruel words the young violinist wasn't the same. After those words she looked sadder, more desperate. Really lost.
And I can't help her!
"You come at midnight to tell me such a silly thing? We'll write a test tomorrow, don't you remember? You should be at bed sleeping deep and tight. After all she shouldn't be so weak! I won't be the last one calling her this way. Our world is a cruel one, sweetheart." She grinned again at Haruka and the racer stepped toward her until only a few inches separated them.
"But you'll be the first one stop talking to her in that way! She went through enough pain. I won't let you hurt her in that way again!"
"Are you threatening me?" Ayako managed to giggle although she was afraid of that angry expression on the boy's face.
He's only a boy after all...
"No, I just made my point clear." Haruka turned around and didn't care about the still surprised looks that followed her.
"She's your girlfriend, isn't she?" yelled Ayako suddenly after her and didn't care to wake up the neighbourhood. "But she isn't good enough for you! She sits in a wheelchair but you want to be in motion. I see it in your eyes. You're unsteady. You like to run and to drive your bike. After all you're the Junior Champion. She's just a burden for you!"
Haruka clenched her fists and stepped into the elevator. The high voice died away as the door closed and Haruka knew that she would beat this silly girl down the next time she opened her big mouth again.
The young racer sighed and leaned herself against the wall.
Michi-chan isn't just my girlfriend. She's all I've got.
Haruka yawned and ran a hand through her messed blond hair.
She's all I need.
dbdbdb
She awoke from her light sleep as the music stopped. Someone laid down on the bed next to her, took the headphone away and covered her shivering body with the soft blanket.
"Ruka?" whispered Michiru with her voice full of sleep and tried to turn around. She groaned as her back started to hurt again and she simply wasn't able to move. Panic filled her but it disappeared as two warm hands started to massage her hurting shoulders. They loosed her tensed up muscles and reduced the pain in her body. Michiru shivered again but not because of the cold that filled the room. Slowly her body relaxed and she closed her eyes. The strong hands slowly stopped the massage and slipped under the top of her deep blue pyjama. Tenderly they caressed the skin of her back, took away the nightmares, dispelled all her sorrows even if it was just for some hours.
"Feeling better now?" heard Michiru her racer whisper and she felt the warm body beside her.
"Hai." Replied the young violinist and suddenly the loneliness she had felt only some minutes ago disappeared. She felt how Haruka took her in her strong arms and held her tight. With an almost happy sigh she leaned her head against the shoulder and smelled the perfume Haruka used.
Here she felt save and secure. Here no one could harm her. Here was where she belonged.
"Shall I stay for the rest of the night?" asked the young racer and buried her face in the velvet sea green hair. She could feel how Michiru returned her embrace and nodded against her dark pyjama.
For a long time Haruka laid there and listened to her best friend's regular breaths. Soon Michiru relaxed in her arms and settled into a deep, peaceful sleep. In the light from the moon that broke through the dark clouds Haruka could see a relaxed expression on the now redden face. Michiru's lips were slightly curved in an honest smile.
I love you.
"Good night, Michi-chan." She said instead out loud although she knew that the smaller girl couldn't hear her. Haruka corrected the blankets and made sure that Michiru wouldn't be cold anymore.
I can't heal your body. And I can't help you to accept your fate.
The young racer laid her head back on the soft pillow and closed her tired eyes. The warm body next to her was calming and made her forget about her own, private nightmares.
All I can do is to be there for you.
Haruka squeezed Michiru gently then she followed her slowly into sleep.
Hope that's enough.