Chapter three: A long time
"I've heard you're the fastest boy in your class?" asked a boy and stepped in Haruka's way. He was one head taller than her and two years older. He was the Champion of Mugen Gakkuen and now he felt threatened by the younger boy with the short blond hair who has become very popular with the girls during the last weeks. The other members of the athletics club told him that the new boy didn't train much. When they practised the high jump he simply took his walkman and jogged through the big hall until it was his turn to jump. He simply jumped and beat them all without any effort. Although he was detached and hardly spoke to anyone he was very popular with the girls inside and outside the team, and even a lot of boys thought highly of him.
"I am Itô Tsukasa and I am Mugen Gakkuen's fastest boy."
The smaller boy only raised on eyebrow and looked silently up at him. Then he shrugged his shoulders and wanted to turn away. But Tsukasa grabbed his right arm and held him back.
"I am Mugen Gakkuen's fasted sprinter and you will never be able to beat me!" he declared so loud that some pupils looked at them curiously.
"That's nice for you:" answered Haruka and pulled herself free. "Congratulations to your talent." She hang her bag over her shoulder and went away, slightly shaking her head.
She left a very angry Tsukasa behind.
Silently she entered the sport hall. Her lessons took place in the afternoon after lunch, so she always came already dressed in her dark tracksuit. Not that she had to hide her sex. It was alike to her if the others thought of her as a girl or a boy. She simply didn't want anyone to see the scars that covered her back. Michiru always told her that they weren't visible anymore, but Haruka still felt each one.
Haruka winced as the pain returned to her belly, but she didn't care about it. She took her walkman tightly in her hands and started to run as another lesson of the sport's team begun. They played basket ball and everyone wanted her to be in his team. She beat them all, of course, she threw most of the baskets. However, the teacher wasn't satisfied with her, because it was a team's game and not a single competition only for her own. So she finished playing after the second try, then she took her walkman and ran. As she always did when the others didn't want her.
"You look tired." Michiru smiled up to her as she picked her up from the drawing's club later that afternoon. Today they drew a rose and the teacher was very proud of her pupils, especially of Michiru.
"The rose looked so real, I almost wanted to smell at it." Laughed Rumiko and winked goodbye as she run to the door. Since New Year she had a boyfriend and could hardly wait until the lessons were over to see him again. "Bye!"
"Bye." Replied Michiru and frowned as she felt how Haruka walked slower than normal. "Your time of the month?" she asked and saw how the young racer got pale.
"Hope not." She mumbled then her face brightened up. "What do you think about a romantic dinner at that Italian restaurant we discovered last week?"
Michiru felt that Haruka simply wanted to change the topic, but she smiled back at her while she rolled into the elevator.
"I'd like to eat there."
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Snow covered the trees' branches, bend them under its weight. The meadows and the usually sandy ways in the park looked like silver. The Italian restaurant was not far away from their school, so that they decided to go for a walk before. It was peaceful at the park, some birds that hadn't escaped the bitter cold in autumn sang and the sea's calming rushes filled the air.
"I like it here." whispered Michiru and cursed under her breath as one wheel of her hated wheelchair slipped over the icy underground. Haruka was by her side immediately and held it automatically.
"Hai, it's so calm here." Replied the young racer and took her sunglasses out of her jacket to put them on. The snow could be very bright and she didn't want to stumble blindly through the park. Not when Michiru was obviously struggling for hold.
"You baka! Look what you've done!" They heard the angry voice before they saw the two girls chasing each other.
"You don't deserve it better!"
"But it was my best jacket. Now it's wet and surely ruined for all times!"
"Baka!"
Before they could react two girls crashed into them. Haruka let go of the wheelchair and fell into the snow as a girl with long black hair pulled her with her. The other girl wasn't so lucky. She stumbled over a hidden stone and landed hard on the wheelchair. Michiru gasped and automatically grabbed girl's rowing arms so that she couldn't hurt herself anymore as she almost slipped from her lap and hit the icy pathway.
"What..." whispered the young violinist and looked in a innocently smiling face that was surrounded by long blond hair. Two plaits jumped between a red cap as the girl came slowly to her feet again.
"Gomen..." She stammered an bowed.
"That's so typical for you!" sighed the other girl theatrical and stood up. She didn't even care about a surprised looking Haruka. She made a snowball and came over to the younger girl and tried to cover her face with the snow. The blond girl screamed and tried to defend herself. They both lost balance and landed in the snow where they kept fighting.
"Baka!"
"Jerk!"
"Baby!"
"Monster!"
Another girl with long brown hair came running, waving her arms in alarm. She was very tall and looked very strong. Her brown eyes shone angry down at the two girls. Then she took a deep breath.
"Usagi-chan! Rei-chan!" she screamed and crossed her arms before her chest. "Don't you feel ashamed at all?" She turned around and rolled her eyes. "And you Ami-chan! Can't you be a little bit faster? You're as lazy as a turtle!" Another girl with shoulder long blue hair shook her head and gasped hard for breath as she stopped. She held a thick book in her right hand and Haruka frowned. She knew that girl, but she didn't know where from.
"Gomen. Hope they didn't kill you. They simply can't behave!" said the tall girl and bowed deeply before them. Then she tried to get the two fighting girls apart and got involved in the snow battle, as well. Her red face got angrier as the blonde put snow in her collar and soon the three rolled in the now messed snow next to the wheelchair.
"Gomen nasai." The girl with the book blushed ashamed and bowed even more deeply than her friend. Then she stretched her hand out to the girl who was sitting in the wheelchair. "I am Mizuno Ami. I am glad to met you." Uncertainly she looked back at the still fighting friends. "Hope you are glad to met us, too. Don't be afraid. They aren't always that way. Well, at least not the all the time."
At that moment Michiru burst out into laughter.
Haruka came to her feet again and tried to wipe the snow off her jacket and her trousers. Surprised she looked up as she heard the happy laughter she hadn't heard for over two years.
That's the first time I see her laugh after that terrible accident.
The other three girls stopped their fight and looked up, too, as Michiru simply couldn't stop. Tears ran down her now redden cheeks and she shook her head helplessly.
"That's all your fault!" declared the tall girl angrily at the other two. "Now she's laughing at you!"
"You've deserved it! Look at yourselves. You're over and over covered with snow and Rei looks like a fallen angel with her dark hair." Giggled the girl named Ami. "You're still children and you look so funny."
"Children?" Three angry girls attacked Ami with snowballs and one ball hit the still laughing Michiru. She reached for the high snow beside her on the pathway and joined the snowball battle. She lost her cap and soon her long sea green hair surrounded a happy grinning face. She threw one snowball after another and quickly formed a team with Ami against the other three. Suddenly she forgot about her handicapped body and she and Ami seemed to win the battle.
I can't remember seeing her that happy during the past months. It's been such a long time that she was so happy. So free. So careless.
Haruka stood aside and watched the scene, heard the laughing and screaming of five exited girls. Automatically Ami grabbed the wheelchair's handlebars and the two girls chased after the other three girls in a wide circle. No one seemed to notice that the young violinist was handicapped. For them it seemed to be normal.
She looks so beautiful when she laughs.
Haruka sighed and kept that picture deep in her heart.
I love you so much, Michi-chan.
At that moment a snow ball hit her head and her dark cap landed in the snow behind her. Haruka blinked and looked into the dark haired girl's wolfish grinning face. Haruka grinned back and formed herself a snow ball.
"You'll regret this." She shouted giggling and joined the others in the funny battle.
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"You'll miss your breakfast if you don't hurry up!" Michiru drank the rest of her milk and rolled over to the bathroom door. Not very patiently she knocked. "And then you'll miss our first lesson today. I know you hate French, but it is the future to talk more than one language." Michiru knocked again against the door. "And I have to comb my hairs! I don't want to give..." her voice died away as Haruka finally opened the door. The taller girl was very pale and looked confused.
"What's wrong?" asked the young violinist alarmed and rolled into the huge bathroom. She saw the yellow pyjama Haruka had worn the past nights. And she saw that it was covered with blood.
"Do you have some sanitary towels?"
Startled blue eyes looked up into undefinable green ones.
"How old are you?" asked Michiru as she opened the wardrobe and took out a plastic bag. Haruka blushed and grabbed it. Then she turned around and Michiru could hear her angry whisper before she left the bathroom.
"Certainly not old enough!"
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"You are a bloody witch!"
Michiru looked up from her drawing as she heard the exited voices outside. Haruka was still at her sport's club, so the young violinist had decided to start with the picture she had had in mind since Christmas. Her drawing teacher got ill and so she had the time all afternoon.
"You always wear those dark clothes and with your messed hair you look as ugly as a witch!"
Michiru frowned and put the paintbrush aside. She cleaned her hands with a towel and rolled over to the living-room, but the TV set was out. So was the radio.
"Where do you hide your warts? Come on, talk to me when I am talking to you!"
Now the voices where right in front of their apartment. Michiru rolled over to the door and opened it. Three girls were literally jumping around a smaller one. Michiru recognized Ayako and she pressed her lips together.
"Hey! D'ya listen to me?" Ayako pushed the small girl and she stumbled. Some books escaped her arms and fell on the ground. The girl didn't look up as she went on her knees and tried to collect them. But another girl from Ayako's club took one of the books away and danced around the still kneeling girl. Shoulder long dark hair surrounded a pale face and her thin body was covered with a black dress. The small girl looked really sad and alone.
Like me...
"Stop it!" Michiru rolled out of their apartment and over to the girl. The small girl tried to catch the book but she wasn't fast enough. Suddenly she hold her fists up to her chest and went on her knees again. She gasped hard for breath and blood ran out of the corners of her mouth. It dirtied her dress.
"My goodess..." whispered the young violinist and rolled protectively before the small girl. She was about seven or eight years old and her whole body started to tremble. She whimpered, but her hair covered her face as she looked down at the ground so that Michru couldn't see her expression. However, she knew that the girl was crying silently.
"Stop it! Immediately!" she demanded and looked determinedly into Ayako's mocking eyes. "Can't you see that she's bleeding?"
"Oh, that's Dr. Tomoe's daughter. She's such a bloody cripple like you, too. She's always bleeding when she's exited. That doesn't matter. It will stop when she calms down." Declared Ayako carelessly and shrugged her shoulders.
"And she's a witch. She has secret powers, I know it. And how she looks at other girls. Her look isn't normal. It's so cold as if she was from another world." Said another girl and threw the book down on the ground next to the still bleeding girl. With a loud thumb it landed on the hard tiles, but the small girl didn't react. All she did was to gasped hard for breath. Only slightly did she wince back as she heard the loud sound.
"Everyone who knows you better must be a witch for you. 'Cause who will ever look at you with a warm look? Guess even your parents don't love you!" Michiru spread her arms protectively as one of Ayako's girls stepped nearer.
They won't hurt her again!
"Don't you dare to talk about my parents, you bitch!" the girl bowed and before Michiru could react she had slapped her right into her face. It hurt, but the young violinist didn't even notice it. She only grabbed the wheels of her wheelchair and rammed the vehicle right into the girl. The girl's eyes grew wide with surprise and she went on her knees with a groan.
"You shouldn't have done this!" screamed Ayako and raised her right hand. She held a knife in it. But Michiru wasn't very frightened. No, she was angry! "You'll regret this!"
"Hell, now I am afraid! Do you think I am scared of this bloody knife or of pain?" She said in a mocking tone of voice and pulled a face. "I had more hoses and needles in my body than you can count. I went through hell and you can't even reach the tiniest devil I've met there." Michiru turned away and rolled over to the still kneeling daughter of Mugen Gakkuen's founder.
"Everything okay?" she asked and leaned forward.
"Hai, the fit will be over soon. As always." Answered the girl breathlessly and kept staring on the ground. A thin smile appeared on the white face and Michiru was suddenly sure that she was the first one of this bunch of lousy pupils who had ever been concerned about her. Who had ever protected her. Who had ever cared about her at all.
"Maybe you aren't afraid of body pain, anymore. But mental pain is worse." Declared Ayako angrily and helped her still groaning friend up.
"Her bloody wheelchair broke my feet." Lamented the girl and groaned again.
"You're nothing but a cripple, Kaioh Michiru. You can't run and you can't swim anymore. And your boyfriend likes to run a lot. He's the fastest boy in his club. At the moment he feels responsible for you. But I'm sure he even doesn't love you anymore. It's just sympathy he feels but he isn't aware of it. Not yet" Ayako yelled angrily at her. Angry that the girl down in the wheelchair didn't respond anything. Angry that the girl didn't react. Angry that she couldn't see her shocked face.
"My revenge won't be the knife, cripple. My revenge will be that I'll steal your boyfriend. I'll be the one who shows him that he doesn't need you anymore. That he doesn't deserve a handicapped girlfriend like you. Surely he will understand it after I'll have convinced him. And then he'll be my boyfriend and you will be alone for the rest of your life!" Ayako laid her head in her neck and laughed a rude, loud laugh.
Michiru closed her eyes for some seconds, but she couldn't ignore the brutal noise. Then the group of girls turned around and left the tower. Left Michiru alone with her thoughts and her fears.
"Arigato..." whispered the small girl and came very slowly to her feet. She reeled and had to seize on the wall to keep some balance. The books still covered the ground in a messy hill. The small girl wiped away the blood from her face, but some strains remained and she looked horrible with that pale face and those dark, deep eyes.
Michiru swallowed, then she collected the books and opened the door to her apartment again.
"Come in. You can't walk through Mugen Gakkuen like that. What shall your father think?" she reached for the girl's hand and was surprised to feel how cold it was.
"Hai, my father..." the girl coughed again and her body trembled even more.
"I am Kaioh Michiru." Introduced the young violinist herself while she guided the girl into the bathroom and wetted a towel. Carefully she washed away the blood and the traces of those bitter tears. The girl sat on the tube's rim and didn't move until she had finished.
"I am Tomoe Hotaru. Nice to meet you." She bowed and almost lost balance.
She doesn't look like a child her age. She looks a lot older. And a lot more serious.
"Do you want a hot tea, Hotaru?" Michiru rolled over to the kitchen as the girl nodded. Silently Hotaru followed her and watched her pouring water into a pot and putting it on the cooker.
"It needs some more minutes to boil." Said the young violinist and looked up as Hotaru rose from her chair and came over to her. When she stood she wasn't taller than Michiru sitting in the wheelchair. Critically Hotaru looked at Michiru's still burning cheek and her ice cold fingers touched the hot skin.
"She slapped you very hard." She whispered with a monotone voice and covered Michiru's cheek with her entire hand. The burning increased, then it stopped suddenly and was gone. As the small girl took her hand away, Michiru recognized that her face didn't hurt anymore. She raised her hand and felt that the skin wasn't swollen anymore.
"How did you do that?" asked the young violinist and saw how Hotaru winced away automatically. Her purple eyes looked at her very sadly. As if she had lost all hope a long time ago. As if she had resigned.
"I am not a witch. I just have those powers to heal people." She frowned and stepped nearer again. Michiru didn't move as the small girl put her hands on her shoulders. Wind seemed to fill the room and a bright light surrounded them for some seconds. As Hotaru stepped back she looked very exhausted. "But also my powers are limited." She mumbled silently and lowered her head. "Otherwise I wouldn't be so weak myself." Michiru almost missed the desperate whisper. She rolled over to the girl who sat down on her chair again and raised her hand to caress dark strands.
"Don't believe what other people say, Hotaru. They're just ignorant and afraid of what they don't know. That's normal." She pointed at the wheelchair she was sitting in. "You're a beautiful young girl and your powers aren't a curse. They're a blessing for the people you can help. And believe me, not all people are as mean as Ayako. There are people who love you, Hotaru. Believe me." She whispered and could see the tears burning in those dark eyes. Desperate eyes. Michiru knew the feeling the small girl felt right now too well.
Hotaru raised her hands and touched the one that caressed her hair, and brought it to her now wet cheeks. The small girl suddenly started to sob as if the world was going to end. Tears ran down her pale cheeks and her body trembled uncontrollable as she lowered her head.
Michiru swallowed hard.
I know her feelings too well. I know how it is to be hated by other people just for what I am.
A bloody cripple.
I know how hard it is to find any luck in this lousy world. But I also know how it is to be loved by a person without any doubts.
"Come here, princess." Whispered Michiru and embraced Hotaru as she climbed on her lap and pulled her small arms around her neck. She buried her burning face in the older one's shoulder and cried all the sorrows out she had kept in her soul during the past years. After the accident when her mother died. When her father didn't have the time for her and no one loved her. When her body became weaker with every day and the fits worse.
Suddenly the young violinist knew that it had been a long time that the little girl had the chance to cry out all her sorrows with all her heart. Maybe it had also been a long time that someone held her tight in that loving, comforting way.
Michiru looked into the small girl's desperate face.
Surely it's been a long time that someone understood her fears.
"Hush, princess. Everything will be fine." Michiru held her tight and rocked her gently. Slightly she frowned, because it felt so familiar to have this small body in her arms. For some moments she thought that she had often held Hotaru in that way. To comfort her. To take part in her anger or her joy. But then the strange memory or whatever it had been was gone and Michiru concentrated again on the crying girl.
Slowly Hotaru calmed down but she didn't want to let go of the older girl. Michiru felt so warm. Here Hotaru felt safe and secure. The older girl obviously seemed to like her. She wasn't afraid of her being different. She didn't call her a witch or threw things at her. Obviously she took care of her and was concerned about her.
She's so nice.
Hotaru closed her eyes as the last tears dried her cheeks and sighed contentedly. An almost happy smile appeared on her normally serious and very sad looking face.
"You feel like my mother." Whispered the small girl and suddenly smiled shyly. Suddenly she looked like the eight year old girl who she actually was. She closed her eyes and slowly settled into sleep. She hadn't sleept a lot during the last days because pain was keeping her awake. However, here in those tender arms she didn't feel any pain it all. It seemed as if her illness suddenly disappeared. As if the older girl had destroyed it with her kind words and her tender embrace.
Michiru smiled sadly and squeezed the girl in her arms softly.
"Don't worry, princess. There's always someone who loves you." She whispered and looked into the now relaxed face of the sleeping girl. "Always."
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"Maybe he isn't at home." Suspected Michiru, leaned forward in her wheelchair and knocked at the door again. The bell seemed to be broken and she couldn't hear any noises behind it.
"Then leave a note. She can sleep with us." Declared Haruka with a strange low voice the young violinist heard seldom from her. She raised her head and glanced at the sleeping Hotaru in the young racer's strong arms. There was a sparkle in her dark green eyes as Haruka stared down at the still sleeping girl. She found Hotaru still sleeping in Michiru's arms in the kitchen when she came home from her training at the beach as she usually called her long walks. She needed those walks, because sometimes she needed to be on her own to think.
Haruka winced as the pain grew in her belly while she stepped back.
Now I am able to have my own child.
The girl in her arms was warm and so light. Haruka frowned but she couldn't ignore her own feelings any longer.
Strange, it feels as if I've always held her that way. As if I'd known her for a very long time.
"Do you want to have children some day?" asked Michiru suddenly and two green eyes looked startled down at her. Haruka turned very pale the next moment and automatically she stepped back for another meter while she shook her head thoughtfully.
"I don't know..." she whispered and swallowed hard. Again she glanced into the relaxed face of the small girl in her arms and blond hairs hang in her face, hide her expressions in shadows.
Maybe, if my daughter would be like Hotaru...
Haruka shook her head again and automatically squeezed the little girl tighter.
Never, if I'll ever become like my father...
She winced and looked up as Michiru gently touched her right arm and smiled sadly up to her.
"And you?" whispered Haruka as she saw the tears shinning in those blue eyes she loved so much.
"The doctors aren't sure about it." whispered the young violinist hesitantly and her smile broke slightly. Haruka wanted to reply something comforting, but then the door was opened.
"My goodess, Hotaru-chan!" The man was about forty years old. His hair was already white and he wore a lab overall. His glasses shimmered in the light of the corridor as he stepped out of the door and took his daughter from Haruka.
The young racer stepped back once more and hide her suddenly disappointed expression in the shadows as she turned away.
"She had a fit and I took her into our apartment. There she fell asleep." Said Michiru and wondered why she felt so miserable all of a sudden.
"Hai, she often sleeps after that." Dr. Tomoe looked with a loving smile at his daughter. "Arigato, you two. I've searched all evening for her and was very concerned about her. She isn't so strong as she wants to be. But that's my daughter: always the will to defeat her illness. And one day she'll be able to do so." He bowed slightly with the little girl still in his arms. "Arigato." He said. Then the door was closed and Haruka and Michiru stood there in the darkness as the corridor's light was put out.
"Let's go." Whispered Michiru and rolled over to her young racer. Carefully she took the icy hand in her own cold one and held it tight. Haruka didn't say a word. She simply nodded, her face still hidden in deep shadows.
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She flew against the school lockers as the boy slapped her face hard. Her books fell on the ground and she went on her knees to collect them.
"I challenge you to a fair competition and you don't even talk to me!" Tsukasa looked angrily at the young boy on the ground. His fists were still clenched. "I want to defeat you and you're running away like a chicken!" he shouted furiously at her and stepped closer.
Haruka didn't look up as she put her books into her backpack. She winced slightly as she came to her feet again. Her belly ached a lot and after had she crashed into the school lockers it didn't get any better.
Stop it!
But she knew that the pain would never really stop. Not for the next thirty years.
If I won't die before.
"Talk to me!" shouted Tsukasa and kicked her right arm with his left foot. However, she didn't react. She simply rose, put her backpack over her shoulder, lowered her head and wanted to go away. Some people stood around them and she could hear some girls shouting at her. That she should defend herself. That Tsukasa was a stupid boy. That she was so much cuter than he was.
"Look at me!" he screamed and pushed her from behind. She stumbled and almost fell on the ground again. A pen, she had held separately, because she wanted to enrol for a course, escaped her fingers but she didn't care about it. She had enough pens, she didn't need that one.
Maybe he gives up when I don't react.
It would have been easy for her to beat him down. To yell at him and to defeat him in his silly race he was demanding. But she simply didn't want to. There were more important things in her life than to show that silly boy who was the master and who the apprentice.
But Tsukasa didn't give up. He grabbed her right arm and held her tight. Still she still stared at her shoes and he got even more angry with her detached behaviour.
"Look at me!" he screamed and slowly she raised her head. Her lower lip was covered with blood and her chin was red. He shivered as he saw her dark green eyes looking empty up at him.
"Have you finished now?" she asked with a low, cold voice and pulled her arm free. Then she turned around and walked away.
"Give up, he's better than you are. It's over." Declared Rumiko and picked up the pen. Tsukasa only grunted and went away. For him nothing was over. It had just begun.
Haruka sighed silently as she took her seat in class. Her belly still ached and she didn't know if she would take part at the sports lessons this afternoon.
"Everything alright?" asked Michiru and frowned as she saw the pale face and the fresh blood. She took a handkerchief out of her school bag and softly wiped the blood away. Haruka didn't wince, she just closed her eyes and let her Michi-chan heal her.
"It was this Tsukasa boy again, wasn't he?" Michiru finished her cleaning but stayed near her Ruka. The young racer simply nodded and looked suddenly very tired.
"Why don't you give him the competition he wants?" Michiru laid the handkerchief on the table and took Haruka's pale face in her warm hands. The taller girl smiled at the tender touch and sighed again.
"I don't want to." She declared silently and suddenly both of them forgot that they weren't the only persons in the classroom as Michiru leaned forward and gave her Ruka a light comforting kiss.
"Bitch!" Someone grabbed Michiru's right arm and pulled her away from Haruka. The young violinist looked up in surprise and stared into Ayako's angry face. Haruka rose from her chair and looked very furious, as well, as the teacher entered the room. The young racer took a deep breath and after a cold warning look at the red haired girl she sat back on her chair.
"Hope the test isn't so hard." Whispered Michiru and took her own pen. Haruka only shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't very keen on French and didn't care a lot about her marks. Without her young violinist she would have never been able to pass any tests.
"Don't look so disinterested. We learned all evening!" Whispered Michiru as the teacher distributed the papers. But they both knew that none of them was very keen on the marks anymore. But without a neat education they wouldn't be able to live a normal life afterwards.
Haruka and Michiru sighed as they saw the questions on the white paper.
At least those tests took away some hours from them. Hours they normally would have spent thinking. And both of them knew that they had thought too much during the past months.
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She heard the noise coming from the living-room. As she sat up she saw the light flicker through the corridor. Michiru sighed and crept over to her bed's edge. She rolled her eyes as her wheelchair rolled away and she therefore almost fell out of the bed. With a determined, almost angry expression on her face she climbed over to the hated vehicle. With a loud sigh she sat down and corrected the position of her weak useless legs with her arms. Sweat ran down her back under her blue night-shirt but she didn't want to take a bath. She shivered as she thought of the horrible chair in the tube. It was always so wet and slippery when she wanted to leave the tube and more than once Haruka had to help her. She didn't feel ashamed of being naked. But she felt very much ashamed of being so helpless. So weak!
Ruka's always so nice to me. So loving...
Michiru covered her legs with a blanket. She didn't want to see that dead part of her still living body anymore. Silently she rolled into the kitchen and a short time later into the living-room. Haruka laid on the huge couch. She wore a wide white shirt and her bed blanket covered her left leg while her naked right one laid on the small table. The young racer held the remote control tight in her hands. Pop musicians danced over the screen but the taller girl didn't watch at them. Her eyes where shut and she seemed to sleep. Her blond hair was messed but her face was very pale in the light of the TV set. A painful expression was on it.
Michiru rolled nearer and watched her Ruka for some seconds in silence. Her lips curved in a tender smile. Then she leaned forward and opened slowly the buttons of the white shirt. She knew that Haruka didn't wear underwear when she went to bed but that didn't disturb her.
It's amazing how much shame you lose when you can't use your body properly anymore.
Michiru couldn't count how many times Haruka had seen her naked when she wasn't able to come out of the tube. Or when she simply couldn't get into her dress or her clothes fell under the bed and she couldn't reach them sitting in the wheelchair. How many times had Haruka helped her when she had to go to the bathroom quickly and couldn't get out of the hated vehicle? The first weeks after she had left hospital had been the worst. It had gotten better during the past months but Michiru wasn't sure if she would ever get used to it.
To be a burden. A cripple...
Carefully she placed the warm object on Haruka's belly and begun tenderly to caress the skin around. Slowly the young racer turned her head toward her and green eyes looked asking up to her.
Didn't she even sleep?
"It's a hot-water bottle. I know that it hurts." Whispered Michiru and her caressing hand wandered upwards on Haruka's body. The taller girl gasped and her eyes grew wide. "But you'll get used to it and the pain will decrease." The young violinist stroked over the soft skin and felt how the other one winced.
"But I don't wanna get used to it." Answered Haruka quietly and took Michiru's hand in her suddenly trembling ones. "I'll never have a baby and so I don't need this silly nature thing." She took Michiru's hand to her right cheek and leaned her head against it. She closed her eyes and didn't care about her shirt that didn't cover her slim body anymore.
"But it's part of you, too." Answered Michiru and leaned forward in her wheelchair. Before Haruka had the chance to reply anything she kissed her tenderly. "And I like you very much, Ruka. With everything that belongs to you." She whispered near those warm lips she loved so much to touch. The young racer sat up and reached for her. Haruka's eyes shone treacherously as she wrapped her arms around Michiru's waist and pulled her out of the wheelchair on her lap.
"The couch is too small for the both of us." Tried Michiru to protest but then she sighed and embraced her young racer, too, as Haruka buried her hot face in her girlfriend's shoulder. For a long time they simply held each other tight, in a warm, understanding silence. After a while Haruka raised her head and kissed her Michi-chan again. It begun as a sweet kiss but fast it became very passionate and slowly turned into a loving touch again.
"I need you." Whispered Haruka with a suddenly shaky voice between two kisses. Michiru smiled at her Ruka's lips. She knew Haruka didn't mean sex. They had enough time for this chapter in their lives later on. This night Haruka just wanted to be near her Michi-chan. To hold her tight. To feel that she wasn't alone in this cruel world. That there was someone who still loved her. The way she was...
"I am always here, Ruka." Answered the young violinist silently. "I'll never leave you."
"I'll never leave you, too, Michi-chan." Haruka rose from the couch still holding her Michiru in her strong arms. Slowly she went over to her sleeping room and gently put the smaller girl down. Then she covered Michiru with the soft blanket and crept beside her under it. She took her again in her arms and held her tight as if her life depended on it. As if the young violinist was her only life line.
Michiru gave her Ruka another loving kiss and started again to caress over her certainly still aching belly. Haruka relaxed slowly and settled into a light but dreamless sleep. Free of fears. Free of nightmares.
Michiru held her tight and knew that she would never be able to ever let her go. As she had to do two years ago when they didn't have a chance to be together.
The young violinist thought at the wheelchair which still stood in the living-room and stifled a sad sigh.
Do we have a chance this time?
She didn't know. All she could do was hope.
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