My Last Hurrah - November 29, 2005 10:50 p.m.
The post I have always dreaded to write has come to pass. I'm afraid that Troubled Minds will as of now be permanently discontinued. I apologize that few of you have waited over two years and two Harry Potter novels for a some sort of update, and now have to deal with this.
As it seems I have so many fans (I'm still in shock that this lowly story received so many wonderful reviews; almost 600!), I believe that it is my obligation to explain myself. First and foremost, I admit the main reason I am pulling the plug on this tale is because I view this as a naïve amateur's silly bedtime story. I introduced too many OCs, the main character reeked of Mary Sue (please do not deny this fact), and to be blunt, my grammar sucked. These past two years have been a wake-up call in terms of my writing style and plot/character development, but I'd like to smugly say I have matured wonderfully.
My other motive is that I have absolutely no time or patience to write fan fiction; I discovered this along with a obsessive compulsive habit of being a perfectionist in all of my writings. I'm not cut out to write, knowing that people are free to see it at anytime and mercilessly judge it. To this day I still have qualms on whether or not I should delete my dirty little secret. But, as this story was my first attempt at writing fanfiction, I will leave it up for everyone to enjoy. However, as for updating the story anytime soon…well it's a far-fetched concept in my mind. Although, I hope to your delight, rewriting this piece is much more plausible, that's is if I have the time or patience! If I were to rewrite the story, OCs would be cut down to the bare minimum, the "daughter" would become more realistic and be downgraded to secondary character status, Hermione would have a "much" larger part (possibly the story would be set in her point of view), and the tone of the story would be infinitely darker. Yet, this would only happen if I had an amazing person to bounce ideas off of and could possibly co-write it with me, but I have pretty high-standards and I'd rather not be forced to tutor my partner in grammatical skills and how not to turn a character into a Mary Sue. I twitch every time I see an American exchange student with distinct features (eyes that change color with every move, a long mane of beautiful silky hair, and has a magical scar too!), who falls in love with Harry (his one twu luv!), is the daughter of Lord Voldemort, and is apparently more powerful than Harry and Lord Voldemort combined! …Oi. So you can only imagined how much I twitched when I reread my story. But continuing on with what I was saying, there is a definite possibility of rewriting this story, just not right now.
My current position in the fandom world is that of a beta-reader for Harry Potter and various anime/manga series, which I admit has become my recent obsession. ; So if you're in need of a beta-reader, do not hesitate to emailme at BroodingAuthor(at)aol(dot)com.Why yes! Yes, it is a shameless plug!
If this is indeed my last post, I would like to thank each of my reviewers individually.
Cowpony - Thanks for being my first reviewer!
Lady Granger-Snape
Hyper Guyver
jesusfreak7777777
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ilo star
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grrrL
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me
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Soccerblond42 - Dear lordy I know this girl…
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YAOI IS YUMMY - So you're a slasher eh? Thanks for considering my story!
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huh! WHATEVER...! - They called me a loser…
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Mr. Lemon - Ouch, a flame from Mr. Lemon…but why do flamers always use the word "suck?" Nevertheless, I salute you Mr. Lemon!
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Delusional Poison
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rosa
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NikkyB - Thanks for being the last person to review!
I give each and every one of you my deepest gratitude for humoring this inane writer in her early stages. It means the world to me that you enjoyed this story, even if I can't look at it without cringing in shame! Also I'd like to thank those who took the time to actually email me directly and talk to me, like xcupcake105x!
Also I give my utmost adoration to Dream4.I wish you well Dreamy, wherever you are! And I thank you out of the bottom of my heart for trying to encourage me to continue this story!
Finally, as my parting gift, I give you an unedited version of Hermione's part in the story, but be warned, I wrote this a year ago and it's not finished and most likely will never be finished.
Note: It's in Hermione's point of view and only about 400 words long. Beware the angst.
Life had not been the kindest to me in these past few years, but frankly this was just cruel.
Life isn't a fairytale anymore.
I wonder if this had been my destined fate all along. That this would have happened no matter how hard I tried to change my path. That I could not escape this life of heart-wrenching pain.
I suppose so.
After all did I really expect a fairytale ending?
Yes. Yes, I did.
Did it happen?
No. Not at all.
I suppose that I am being melodramatic.
After all I still had my baby girl. My sweet little angel. The one with his smile.
But I had to give up so much. Perhaps too much. My life, my magic, my friends, my boy.
…My boy.
Funny, he never belonged to me in the first place.
I suppose he never will.
I never envisioned my life turning out this way, becoming a statistic; a teenage mother. The entire experience was surreal, but I knew that when I woke up in the morning I would still have my little girl. That made the situation seem a little brighter.
Maybe I could have stopped this destiny from happening. I could have said no to him. I would have told him about the baby. I should have stayed at Hogwarts.
Could have, would have, should have, but didn't.
This was a mess of my own making and a problem I would have to figure out myself.
This was the consequences of having unprotected sex with my emotionally unstable best friend, hiding my pregnancy, and then fleeing Hogwarts in embarrassment and shame.
I spent the better part of my first and second trimester in my deceased parents' home: left to me in their will. Incidentally, I had to flee again when the very people I was running away from, came looking for me.
I should have expected that, but surprise snuck up on me.
Did they not comprehend the not-so-subtle hint? I did not want to be found, and especially not in this state! Explaining the circumstances behind my becoming knocked up was not on my to do list. Not to mention confronting the father...
And yet they came after my with the intent of dragging my pregnant ass back to Hogwarts.
I suppose that I should be flattered by all the trouble they went to. Instead, I think I was a tad bit peeved.
Blame the hormones.
Finding another sanctuary proved to be more difficult this time around. Being five months along with no known living relatives didn't help.
But soon comfort and assurance was found in an old family friend.
And that's as far as I got.
Well this is the last hurrah folks! It's been almost three years since I started this story, and I am happy that you were all a part of my little experiment in writing! I hope to some day actually finish this story in some form (as I still remember my intricate ending). Again I'm positively delighted at all of you're wonderful support and I wish you all the best in finding newer and better fanfiction! I know I'm having a blast in the anime section!
Happy Trails!
-PsychoticNetJunkie
Questions? Comments? Looking for a Beta-Reader? Email me at BroodingAuthor(at)aol(dot)com