Something So Natural

When authors are in a dark mood...

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A Kingdom Hearts ff by Rike-sama

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DISCLAIMER:

Trust me, if Kingdom Hearts was my property, you'd have noticed by now.

AUTHOR's NOTE: Just a little something I wrote a while ago when I was feeling a bit... down, I guess. It's probably littered with mistakes ((I blame it on me being from Germany. XP)) and Sora is so creepily OOC it makes little babies cry and dogs whine... But I like to think he's just changed a lot since the game ended. Yep. Oh yeah, this ff assumes that Kairi and Sora are a couple - it's not necessarily pro SoraKairi though. You'll see. I'm not gonna spoil your fun...

ENJOY!

SOMETHING SO NATURAL

"I want this moment to never end."

Sora glanced at the girl that was resting her head comfortably on his shoulder. She was a true beauty. Red hair glittering luxuriously in the setting sun, creamy skin tinted a soft orange, deep blue eyes sparkling and full of naïve innocence, full of love and trust. Those captivating eyes… When the light hit them just right they seemed to shimmer in a gorgeous bluish shade of purple. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Utterly perfect.

Maybe just a little too perfect.

"I want to stay right here with you forever…"

Kairi's eyes were closed halfway and a small smile adorned her fine features as she spoke those words. She was watching the ocean, taking in all its glory, savoring the peaceful atmosphere. The gentle sounds of the waves, a light breeze that felt refreshing to her after such a hot day, the seagulls in the red and pink sky… she wanted this calm to last. But most importantly…

"I never want to die. Like, I never want to grow old and just die. When I die I can't be with you anymore. That's why… That's why I want to live for all eternity."

Sora studied her profile for a second before he resumed gazing at the ocean. He didn't feel like responding, silence would fit the scenery so much better. Talking disrupted the quiet, somehow destroying the peace. Making everything less… meaningful, in a weird kind of way.

"You and me together forever – wouldn't that be wonderful?" A giggle and a blush. Then silence.

It took Sora so long to reply that Kairi hadn't even expected him to say anything at all. But when he did, she was caught off guard so badly she had to think twice before she could make any sense of what her boyfriend had said.

"No, not really."

Kairi lifted her head from Sora's shoulder and stared at him incredulously. "What?", she breathed dumbly. Sora didn't look at her when she narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying you don't want to be with me any more? That you're sick of being with me?"

The brunette shifted his gaze and looked her in the eye. "Hey, I never said that!"

"But just now you…"

"All I said was that I wouldn't want to be with you forever!"

Kairi felt something in the pit of her stomach clench tightly with worry, almost painfully. She felt as if someone had hit her in face. That was how much this meant to Sora, huh? She couldn't believe it. "But… I thought you and I, we were something special! I thought… I really thought… I thought this would… would…" Her voice broke and she felt her eyes well up with tears. He doesn't love me at all! I thought…

Oh shit, I made her cry!, Sora thought, mentally hitting himself over the head. "Kairi." He reached for her and brushed a strand of red hair behind her ear, watching as she bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from sobbing. "Kairi, I'm so sorry… You… I didn't mean it like that." Seeing her like this made his heart ache. He absolutely hated it when she cried. It always made him feel so guilty… I made him so sad.

"B-but you said…", Kairi started protesting. Sora sighed, pulling an unused handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her. "Listen, Kairi… I didn't think about what I said before. You know I have that stupid habit, right? Talking before I think?" His girlfriend nodded, having to supress a giggle even though she felt so betrayed. He continued explaining himself. "See? I… I didn't want you to get the wrong idea or anything, what I meant to say was… argh, I'm so bad at this!"

Seeing the way her boyfriend burried his hands in his hair and started pulling at it comically somehow made Kairi relax and she smiled a bit, though still deeply confused. She poked Sora in the ribs to get his attention and then said with a hint of hope in her voice: "Okay, so what did you want to say?"

The brunette blinked and stared at her dumbly, then let go of his cinnamon spikes. "Uh, I just…" He turned back to the ocean again, scanning the horizon for a sign of, well, for anything, before he resumed talking at last. "I just think that living forever must be horrible."

Kairi pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Then she frowned delicately, her hurt about what Sora had said forgotten for the moment. "Why would you think that?"

"Well… just think about it. I mean, assuming you would live forever and you'd never age… that may seem great at first, but what about your friends and family? You'd have to watch them getting older and older, withering away and sooner or later they're going to die, one after another, until no one is left."

Kairi studied Sora's profile. His eyes seemed to be oddly glazed as he kept his gaze transfixed on something beyond the sea, something she couldn't see. "Uhm, yeah… that's true… but… you'd see a great deal of history. And, and…. You could see what the world's gonna develop into and all and… well…"

Sora apparently didn't quite listen to what she was saying, because when he started speaking again he continued where he left off, not commenting on her opinion. "And the worst thing is that it would happen again and again. Every time you met someone new, let them get close to you, let them worm their way into your heart… you'd have to watch their hair go white and their faces grow wrinkly… and then they'd die, just like everyone else you ever knew."

Kairi said nothing. She had a feeling there was nothing to be said, and quite frankly, she didn't even know what she could say. This was so weird.

"And then, one day, you wouldn't want to have any contact with anyone anymore and you'd hide from the world… you know, retreating into yourself and kinda… because you'd be too afraid to let someone get close, because you know you'd lose them again eventually. And being lonely is probably better than getting hurt like that again and again… I think."

Kairi chewed on her bottom lip, accidently nibbling too hard and making it bleed slightly. Sora scared her a bit. First his weird comment, and now this… She wanted his cheerful mood back! This was just so… depressing. "You know, I never thought about it like that…"

The brunette ignored her again, his mind far away in a distant land. "And you know what? It's not just about the people – what about the bands you listen to, the places you like, the clothes you're used to wear? It'll all vanish with time, because everything changes, people, morals, laws and the world moves so fast and before you even know it everything you ever thought you knew is suddenly considered wrong or weird… You won't fit in any more, and you'll want the old times back, but by then it'll be all… gone, and the place you were born might not even exists any longer, and all you'll have left will be fading memories – how cool is that?"

The redhead felt something wet gathering in the corners of her eyes. No, she thought vehemently. It's not like that at all!

The words continued to flow freely from Sora's lips. He didn't notice how much Kairi hated this conversation. "I mean, I wouldn't want a life like this. Don't you get exhausted sometimes? Don't you sometimes wish life would be… I don't know, I mean, I don't want my life to be short or anything… I just want… there should be an end to it. After living for so long, you'll be weary, and all you'll want to do is go to sleep and never wake up again… To finally get some rest, you know? I don't think I'd want to live another lifetime, and then start all over again and again and again… It'd be so… tiring. And… monotonous, I guess."

Kairi shot a half-glare at her boyfriend, deciding enough was enough. "Sora! You're not making any sense! Just now you said everything was gonna change and then you say thing's would get monotonous! You're, like, contradicting yourself!"

No reaction.

"Besides", Kairi went on in a lecturing tone, "If you had your lover with you things would never get boring! You'd both learn to adjust to the changes and get over your losses and… if you didn't want to associate with other people because they were gonna die and you wouldn't, that would be okay, since then you'd still have each other. That should be enough company, right? You could enjoy being with your lover forever, every day till the day the world ends. You'd never be sad! Why would you be sad, or weary, or depressed, or whatever if you had someone you cared for and loved deeply at your side?"

Sora hesistated and pondered this for a moment. "I guess you're… no. It doesn't work like that. I don't think… just… no. A lover wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't matter wether they were there or not. No love is truly everlasting."

Kairi's heart felt like someone was stabbing it with a pointy knife repeadetly. She had been talking about herself. The lovers she had been talking about were her and Sora – he wasn't supposed to disagree with her! She felt like he was saying she wasn't good enough for him, useless even. Her voice was shaky when she spoke up again. "What do you mean by that?" The something in her stomach clenched again, making her insides churn with pain, fear, and something else she couldn't quite place. "Please, Sora… what do you mean by that? What are you trying to tell me by saying something like that?"

Sora didn't answer for a long time. All he did was stare blankly at the calm sea that seemed to mock his distraught girlfriend with its serenity. Kairi trembled with anxiety when he finally turned to look her in the face, two pairs of startling blue eyes meeting each other, silently connecting but not exchanging any form of information or thoughts. They had never been able to communicate without words, like some other couples or really close friends could. That was something Kairi always regretted.

Sora's lips were set in a firm line, a slight frown upon his forehead, a crease in his left eyebrow, not even the slightest trace of the goofy grin he usually sported. It was something that seemed so odd and out of character of him that it made Kairi feel sick to her stomach. She hated this other Sora – calm, collected, philosophising, painfully serious… It was so unlike him, felt so very wrong. When he was like that he seemed so far away. Totally out of her grasp. Like she wouldn't be able to touch him when she reached out for him. As if he could fade away and disappear at any moment, leaving her all alone. And that scared her.

Kairi gulped to make her throat less dry when Sora reached out and tilted her chin upwards, only to stare at her in silence, his facial expression not betraying his thoughts. There was no way she could tell what was going on in his mind. It was as if he had suddenly forgotten how to express his emotions. Kairi licked her lips. She was so scared of his answer, so scared she felt like throwing up. Still not answering her question he cupped her flushed cheeks and caressed them tenderly. Her breath hitched when he leaned in and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. As her eyes fluttered closed all worrisome thoughts were dismissed and her uncertainty was pushed to the back of her mind. Relief flooded through her, made her head dizzy and cause everything to spin. Now she was certain.

Her and Sora were meant to be. That much was clear.

While Kairi thoroughly enjoyed herself the kiss tasted rather bittersweet to Sora. It was because he had kissed her for the sole purpose of reassuring her, not because he had felt the urge to kiss her. Kissing someone was the last thing he felt like doing right now. There were things he needed to think trough – all that pondering had made him realize that something just didn't seem quite right, like he was missing something, forgetting about something. Or as if something was there that shouldn't be there. Something was out of place. Just what was it?

It didn't have anything to do with Kairi. Not necessarily. At least he didn't think so. He cared for the redhead, cared for her deeply. He didn't think he had cared for anyone like that before, ever, in all of his life. In the whole island community there was not a single person he harbored the same kind of feelings for. Kairi was something special to him, something unique, something that went far beyond normal friendship. She was his girlfriend. Then why…

Then why did something so natural as kissing her feel so utterly wrong?

Something so natural…

Yet again, excuse the stupid mistakes I've probably made. Just try to ignore them. XP

Oh, and don't flame me about portraying Sora and Kairi's relationship like that. o.ô I'm not a SoraKairi-basher, actually I think it is the most logical and obvious pairing in the whole game. I just can't see it last that long. Well, that's not true - I can see it last, I just don't think they'd love each other until the very end. The way the game portrayed it their relationship seemed like a silly little crush to me. Don't hate me. Meep. o.o

Anyways... please excuse me while I go wash my hands and clean my keyboard. I never thought I'd ever write anything that even remotely fits into the ANGST genre. o.ô

So... thanks for reading this stupid piece. A review or two would be nice. Tell me how much my English sucks. XP