Leia's words were like a slap in the face, and I reacted as if they were. I jumped to my feet and threw a punch at her. Somehow, in that same split-second reaction, logic set in that I was not really under physical attack, and I was able to stop the motion mid-swing. Momentum, unfortunately, carried me far beyond my normal range of balance and I found myself toppling right over the chair I had just sprung up from a microsecond before. For my grand finale I ended up flat on my back with my tiny blaster scooting across the floor like it was launched from a bowcaster by a three-hundred-pound Wookiee. I watched in painfully slow motion as it skidded to a halt…ironically at the heels of the very man we had been discussing. Of course it would.

I'm only assuming that everyone in the hall watched me pick myself up (Leia, bless her heart, offered me a helping hand), right my fallen chair and sit back down again. I don't know for certain because I was doing my best to pretend there was absolutely no one else in the room.

When I looked back at Organa-Solo, she was white as a sheet. She looked as if she was facing certain death with her eyes as wide as I've ever seen them, and her manicured hand clamped across her slack-jawed mouth.

Then the passage of time seemed to resume its normal tempo and I broke the silence with a hiss, "I've never heard anything more absurd!" I glared at the woman across from me, daring her to break eye contact first.

She did. Her eyes shifted up and to my left and her look of shock morphed into one of embarrassment. Leia's cheeks colored and she gently bit her lower lip as her hand dropped into her lap.

Annoyed that another of my best glares had once again been wasted, I glanced over my shoulder to find Skywalker closing in from less than a meter away with my blaster resting on his palm and a look of concern plastered across his face. I looked back at Leia and scowled.

"Mara, is everything alright? I thought I saw-"

"Just fine and dandy, Skywalker." I interrupted, keeping my eyes on Leia. I didn't want to know what he thought he saw. "Your sister and I were just catching up on some girl talk, weren't we?"

Organa-Solo only nodded.

I risked another glance at the Jedi beside me. He was staring at me, his brow wrinkled in either disbelief or concentration and a slight frown had formed in the corners of his mouth. We locked gazes and I felt a twinge in my stomach, as his eyes seemed to see right to my core. I'm exposed. I left myself defenseless after my fall, defenseless and open to attack. As a reflex, I slammed down my mental shields and quickly looked away. How could I have let my guard down like that?

I looked back at Leia, who was shifting her eyes back and forth between her brother and myself. I could see the weighing of her mind, but her choice was obvious. She could never leave well enough alone. At least not when her brother was concerned.

She visibly took a breath before her declaration, "Would you two come off it already? I swear, the two of you are so thick headed, I don't even know why I bother!" And without waiting for any sort of reaction, the Princess stormed off.

I sat watching her go for a handful of seconds. I couldn't bear to look at Luke, not yet. Not until I could gauge his reaction.

"Mara."

"What?" I replied flatly.

"Mara, what's going on?"

What is going on? I shook my head as if to clear my thoughts, but it only seemed to intensify the confusion. Skywalker took it as a sign that I didn't want to talk, which was mostly true. He squatted next to my chair, trying to place himself in my line of sight, but I still wouldn't look at him. He'd seen me in that instant, in my mind. He saw me how I see myself.

"Mara."

He placed his hand on my back and I inhaled sharply at his soft touch.

"I need some air, I'm going outside,"

I decided suddenly that it was way too stuffy in here, so I fled. I left Luke behind and headed for the first exit I could see, which turned out to be some sort of small terrace. Immediately the fresh air made me feel better and I inhaled deeply before looking around.

The small balcony was deserted, which was not surprising considering the view. I'm sure sometime in the Old Republic the vista must have been spectacular. An unobstructed panorama of the artificial horizon, filled with glowing lights and scurrying ships. Now, however, the view was left somewhat lacking. A brand-new sky rise was being erected within spitting distance and provided a breathtaking view of rusty scaffolding and old construction droids.

The veranda itself was honestly quite pretty, if not very large. Its rectangular shape wasn't more than about two meters deep and maybe three meters across. Two bushy potted trees framed the doorway towards the left end, and the opposite side offered a carved stone bench and a tiny trickling fountain.

I sat down on the cool stone of the bench and tried to sift through my thoughts, garbled as they were. How could Leia think that I was in love with Luke? I frowned at the thought. He is such a goody-goody. Too even tempered. Too much the 'Hero'. And the fact that I wanted desperately to kill him not too long ago had to count for something, right? I mean, I don't want to kill him now, but wasn't that just a technicality?

"He's always believed in you," a voice from inside my mind whispered.

Yeah? Well, so has Karrde! Am I supposed to be in love with him, too?

"He's never questioned your loyalty," It responded.

Neither did the emperor!

"He understands you," the voice reasoned.

He's a Jedi. He understands everybody!

"He would walk through fire for you, if you asked," it chided.

Yeah. He would. But that doesn't mean…

"Mara?" I was startled out of my internal debate, but it didn't matter. I wasn't getting anywhere with it anyway.

Farm Boy had followed me outside and was saying something, but it wasn't registering with my brain. I was just starting to notice the chill of the night air. The breeze was considerable at this altitude and the cold of the stone bench wasn't deterred at all by the sateen fabric of my gown. A shiver started in my spine and moved quickly across the rest of my body. A second later, Luke draped his coat across my shoulders and sat down beside me.

"Mara, you haven't heard a word I've said." He gazed at me with inquiring eyes. I offered him a half-hearted smile in apology.

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

"I was just trying to give you your blaster back. Or did you want me to hold on to it for you?" He offered the tiny pistol to me hilt first and I took it from him.

"No, thanks. I've got it." And for the second time that evening, I hiked my dress up to holster my weapon, then let my hem fall back across my knee. I looked back at Skywalker as I rested against the wall and thought I noticed a bit of color in his cheeks as he stared at my leg. With such poor lighting out here, I couldn't say for certain.

My lips twisted into a bit of a smirk at the thought that Luke could be affected by showing a little skin. It was hard for me to see him as just another man. I didn't think he worked that way. He always seemed, to me at least, to be above all that.

"You know, you shouldn't feel ashamed."

My heart stopped and my smirk vanished. "What? Who said I felt ashamed?"

Quietly, he ignored my question, "We all have those feelings about ourselves, Mara," referring to the moment earlier when he'd seen beneath my shields… inside me. His eyes sought out my own as he continued, "All of us."

Suddenly angry, I snapped at him, "What do you know about it?"

The brave Jedi Master winced before he went on, "There are things that I'm not proud of doing, either, but you have to let them go. You're not defined by what you've done in the past. You can choose how you want to be seen, by who you are now." His eyes were filled with comfort and understanding and somewhere deep inside me I desperately wanted to believe him. But I couldn't.

I sat forward again, "No, Skywalker. You're wrong. I won't ever escape from being the Emperor's Hand. No matter what I've done for this New Republic, that will always be who I am." Warm again, I shrugged off Luke's coat before I stood up and walked to the edge of the terrace. The rail that surrounded it was also carved from stone, rising up to just about chest-level. I rested my arms in front of me across the top of the rail, perching my chin atop my hands and looked down into the abyss below.

"Not to your friends, Mara." His voice lofted from the bench where he remained seated.

I ignored him and inwardly examined myself. Somehow, I had imagined this conversation to be much more uncomfortable. Skywalker was surprisingly easy to talk to. I sighed and closed my eyes feeling the wind caress my face and neck.

I didn't care about what people in general thought of me. Not even my friends, really. So why am I so worked up over this? Because…because there was one person whose opinion of me did matter. One whose opinion mattered above all others.

How was I defined in his eyes? Was I the Imperial assassin? The Emperor's Hand? The smuggler? The pirate? Was I any or all of those things to him?

"Not to me, Mara," the nearness of his voice surprised me; I hadn't noticed when he moved to join me at the railing. His warm breath whispered in my ear and again I felt a shiver move down my spine.

I gave him a sideways look, daring him to take his words back. He was so close now; I could still feel his warm breath on my neck. I turned slightly and searched his calm face for any hint of deception or patronization. When I found none, I continued to study him. It was amazing how bright his eyes could be in such dim lighting. His flushed cheeks were endearing, and I could barely see a trace of the scar from the wampa attack so many years ago. I traced the curve of his jaw with my gaze and stopped at the pout of his lips, not able to look away. Subconsciously, my mouth formed the words, "Luke, I…"

I'll never know what I was about to say, because in that very instant Luke Skywalker kissed me.