Disclaimer- I own a b s o l u t e l y nothing.
Hey! I have always been a big fan of MASH, I love that show! So, I decided to write a fan fic about it. I got this idea a while back, possibly a year ago. So, I just decided to give it a tune-up and place it on the site. It was pretty fun writing this, I love doing humor. Actually, if you check out my other stories, that's all I ever write:) Well, I hope you like this. Please leave a review, I love reviews!
"Green paint?" babbled a highly frustrated Hawkeye. "We order twenty boxes of surgical gloves and they give us green paint! What in the world is going on here!"
"There must have been a mix up at I- corps, I guess we'll have to order again," explained Klinger.
B.J. stood nonchalantly against the wall, just observing Hawkeye pacing around the room.
"Green paint! What are we going to do with green paint?" Hawkeye stopped in his tracks as a brilliant idea glided in from no where and smacked him upside the head. A sinister grin crept across his face.
"Hawk, I don't like where this is going!" smiled B.J. as he looked at his friend.
Over at the showers, Charles had just finished washing up. It felt luxurious after five hours of meatball surgery. There were short raps on the door.
"Who is it?" demanded Charles.
When there was no answer, Charles opened the door to see who it was. Then, just out of the blue, a bucket of green paint comes crashing down on him, and all over the doorway. He screamed in surprise as the paint doused him.
In no less then seven seconds, Charles stormed into The Swamp. He glared daggers at Hawkeye and B.J., who were rolling on the ground at this point.
"YOU!" screeched Charles.
"Charles," laughed B.J. after gaining a little control, "are you aware that you're green?"
"Nonsense B.J.! You always knew Charles was a vegetable!" burst Hawkeye as he pulled himself up.
"WHY YOU LITTLE-"
"Sirs, come quick!" interrupted Klinger. "There's a girl out in the entrance to the camp, she has a bullet wound!'
They all exchanged glances, and then raced after Klinger. He led them down the road and they met some soldiers carrying a casualty on a stretcher.
Hawkeye lent over to take another look, and was greatly surprised. "Holy smokes Beej, look at this! It's a teenage American girl!"
B.J. looked closer and realized that it indeed was an American girl.
"What on earth is she doing out here?" blundered B.J. as he checked her pulse.
"I don't know, but look at the way she is dressed, isn't that strange?" pondered Hawkeye.
She was in a pair of tight blue jeans and wore a shirt that read "Vote- 2004" on it. She also wore a pair of light blue skater shoes.
They were both confused, but still rushed to the OR.
On their way into the building, they bumped into Col. Potter. He glanced down at their patient, and did a double take. "What in the name of sweet Aunt Petunia is this?" he asked as he examined the girl.
"We haven't the slightest idea how she got here," called B.J. from the washroom.
"We've examined her, and she has some shrapnel in her right femur. She must have been shot at by some snipers," said Hawkeye as he continued to get dressed.
"Well," said Potter as he gave her one last glance, "If you need any help, just give me a holler."
The operation went without any problems, just a simple everyday procedure of removing shrapnel. The doctors and nurses were very anxious about when she would wake up. They wanted to know exactly who she was and how she got there.
A little while later, she began to stir. A nurse frantically called the two doctors and everyone in the room rushed over to her bed. In a few seconds, her eyes began to flutter open. Once she was fully conscious, her eyes focused on the people in front of her.
She stared for a moment, and then, for no apparent reason, she let out a scream. "HAWKEYE! B.J.! OH MY GOSH IT WORKED! IT ACTUALLY WORKED! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ACTUALLY WORKED! OH MY GOSH!"
Everyone's jaw dropped. "How the Hell do you know our names!" asked an extremely confused Hawkeye.
She looked at them, grinning ear to ear. "Look, what I am going to tell you is true right down to the periods. You have to believe me though."
They all nodded their heads, eager for an explanation.
"Well ok, here goes," she said as she looked at them.