Know Your Stars

by Karra Venus Leo

Remember the Know Your Stars skit on All That? Well here's the same thing, except with the CATCF stars. R and R! NO FLAMES!

5. Mike Teavee

When Violet went backstage, Mike planned to cheer her up, but he was called up. Mike sat down in the chair.

"Know your stars," said the voice. "Mike Teavee… loves chocolate and candy."

"No I don't!" said Mike. "Candy is a waste of time!"

"Mike Teavee… is the president of the 'My Little Pony' fan club."

"What! No way! That's for sissy little girls!" said Mike.

"Mike Teavee… has the world's biggest Barbie collection."

"NO! I HATE BARBIE!" Mike yelled.

"Calm down Mike," said the voice. "Mike Teavee… writes romance novels in his free time."

"I don't write romance novels," said Mike. "I don't even write at all, except songs for my band."

"Mike Teavee… wears a fluffy pink bra under his shirt."

"No I don't!" said Mike.

"Mike Teavee… is an illegal immigrant from Japan."

"I never even been to Japan." said Mike.

"Mike Teavee… loves to hug people."

"That's it!" yelled Mike. "I only hug my parents and my little sister and my friends!"

"Now you know Mike Teavee."

Mike stormed off. His face was red with anger.

Next victim (and last one too)… Willy Wonka.