The boat slipped under the raised gate to the sound of an electric guitar, and as Christine began to sing her high notes, Rikku nudged her companions and pointed to a darkened corner. They nodded and slipped into the water, swimming as quickly as possible. It was lucky that the singers were far too occupied with each other to even notice the intruders. Christine was concentrating on hitting the high notes in a manner that wouldn't cause the ceiling to cave in. Erik, on the other hand, seemingly unaware of the belief that it is not very motivational to yell at your pupils, was shouting out his "Sing for me!" line.

The Agents made it to their new hide-e-hole and shrank back in the darkness. They were unbelievably still, waiting with great anticipation for the next song to come. As they watched, The Phantom stepped out of the boat, and there was a moment of silence as he removed his cape.

"Ooh… I'm getting chills," Yami whispered quietly. The others quickly hushed her.

They watched in mute awe as the entire "Music of the Night" sequence unfolded. They didn't have the benefit of close-ups and revealing angles, but they were in no position to care. They were in the Phantom's lair, watching him sing to Christine, who was enjoying it (nearly) as much as they were. It was a good thing they still had some will-power left… or the scene we saw in the movie might have been quite different.

It was over far too quickly, and they watched Erik leading Christine up to the little alcove where the replica doll of her was hidden. All three tensed up. They might not have liked Christine… they might have wanted to keep the Phantom all to themselves, but neither did they want Erik to do something so stupid. I mean, come on… if this is Erik: "Hmm… I just kidnapped this girl I'm madly in love with, she's just found out I'm the 'ghost' terrorising the Opera… should I show her the full extent of my obsession by revealing this doll that looks EXACTLY like her?" then surely anyone with a brain cell would have worked out that maybe it wasn't such a brilliant idea.

The part of the Agents that hated Christine didn't care much. But the part of them that didn't want Erik to ruin the perfect moment was having a hard time keeping quiet. So… thank god for that "no interference" policy. They watched as Christine fainted in Erik's arms and he carried her through to the bedroom, his voice fading a little as he moved away.

"What would you give to be Christine right now?" Penguin asked in a reflective tone as she gazed after him.

"Apart from my soul?" Rikku asked with a grin. She was already edging out of the hiding place as the final, notes of the song played softly in the atmosphere. In the open, she had a much better opportunity to appreciate the lair. She could quite happily have lived down here… although the thought of what kind of bathing facilities Erik had made her think twice. On the other hand… he always looked so smart and clean. He couldn't just fall out of bed like that.

Ooh… now there was a thought.

Cautiously, they made their way further across, towards the opening of the bedroom. They weren't sure when Erik was going to come out, or if he might just stand there for hours on end watching Christine sleep. Unfortunately, just as they stepped up to the opening, HE stepped out of it, and met them faces to half-covered face.

There was a long, shocked pause. No one seemed to know what to say. Finally Penguin struggled to speak, but in her happiness at seeing Erik, only managed to make a sound that would probably be written like this:

"Wooaaggrreephhanflaou."

Erik stared at her and then seemed to break out of his shock. The exposed side of his face, paler than usual, contorted into an expression of intense anger.

"What are you doing in my home?"

All three of the Agents shivered. Erik, assuming (incorrectly) that they did so out of fear, took a step closer, looking menacing.

"Do you know what I do to those who trespass here?"

They nodded in unison. A little taken aback, he tried again.

"Do you know who I am?"

Once again, their only reaction was to nod, and Erik was temporarily stumped. These… women, did not look in the least bit afraid. In fact he was beginning to come under the impression that he was the one who should be worried (which he was, although he was far too proud to admit the fact). They were staring at him with wide-eyed wonder… and one of them was drooling. He began looking around for a suitable weapon.

In the meantime, Rikku finally trusted herself enough to speak in more than awe-struck mumbles and said: "Um… hello."

It was hardly the most impressive way to introduce oneself to the Phantom of the Opera. He stared at her and wondered if she was perhaps mocking him. He had no time for useless girls wanting to stare at him like he was still that helpless boy, locked up in a cage.

He glared. He was good at glaring.

"Get out."

Yami, realising just how upset he was, managed to shake off her daze. "Sorry, we can't."

"Get out now!" he shouted, advancing quickly. He wasn't really intent on killing them. He wasn't a lady-killer (well…according to one definition anyway). All he wanted to do was frighten them enough to send them running away and make them forget what they had seen. It was disconcerting, therefore, that he only succeeded in running straight into them when they didn't move.

Not surprisingly, this was exactly what the Agents had been planning on. They gripped his arms and Rikku, who had been standing right in front of him, managed to get him in a bear hug.

"Oh, he's so warm," she said, giving him a squeeze.

"And muscular," Penguin said, hanging onto his arm tightly. Panicking, Erik desperately tried to pull himself free, but given who he was dealing with he didn't have much chance. The Agents swarmed over him, and the moment he tried to run Yami grabbed his legs, which caused him to lose his balance, sending all of them crashing to the floor.

"Oh, I could die quite happily right now," said Rikku, who was now lying underneath him.

But Erik managed to struggle back up to his feet at last, spurred by the worry of what Christine might have to say about seeing him like this is she woke up. It might poke holes in his "you alone can make my song take flight" strategy. He disentangled his legs from Yami, but no amount of shaking could dislodge Penguin. But he kept trying.

"What in hell are you doing! Get away from me!" he shouted, his voice filled with panic. The girls were getting to their feet and he was afraid they might come at him again.

"It's okay," Yami said finally, helping Rikku to her feet. "We're not going to hurt you."

"Your actions would suggest otherwise," he growled, feeling his arm started to go numb from Penguin's grip. She looked up at him with a disturbingly cheery smile.

"We're just so happy to see you!"

"Happy?"

"Well…maybe that's a bit of an understatement."

Erik shook his head in disbelief. Why in the world would these women, whom he had never seen before in his life, be 'happy' to see him? Who were they? What did they want? Were they insane?

Well… the answer to the last one seemed obvious enough.

"Listen…" Rikku said, unsure of the best way to put their situation. "We… we kind of… sort of… need you to come with us."

He stared at her with a look that clearly said "you must be joking".

"Like… right now."

The look didn't change.

Yami sighed. "It's a bit hard for us to explain but… it's very important."

Erik still looked a little disbelieving, but at least he wasn't trying to run away anymore, although this could have been because Penguin was still clinging to his arm in a manner that suggested he would have to amputate the limb if he did want to escape. He stared at her. She smiled up at him and, to his amazement, nuzzled against his bicep. He looked at the other two, who were also smiling at him. He'd never been the focus of quite this much enthralled attention… but he was starting to think he might get used to it.

"No," he shook his head firmly, remembering himself. "Whoever you are, I don't care and I want you out. Your problems have nothing to do with me."

"Oh, you couldn't be more wrong," Rikku said with a grim look.

His eyes narrowed. "Is that a threat?"

All three girls instantly protested. "No, no! Not at all," Yami said. "But there's someone else who's a danger to you. And we have to get you somewhere safe."

"Safe?" The Phantom scoffed loudly. "There is no place safer than here. No one can find me down here in my lair."

"We did," Penguin pointed out with a delighted giggle.

"Will you please let go of me, Mademoiselle?"

She did, though with great reluctance, and he began to surreptitiously massage some life back into his hand, wondering if he would ever be able to play the piano again. Now that he had detached himself from these… these lunatics… all he had to do was get them out of the lair.

"Listen," Rikku said, taking a step forward. "If you don't come with us, there's going to be a lot of trouble… not from us… but trust me, there's going to be trouble."

"And why should I believe that?"

The three Agents looked at each other. They had been told to convince Erik to come along using any means necessary, but it wasn't turning out the way they had planned (not that they had done too much planning beyond actually getting down to the lair and smothering him with their obsessive love). If they explained the situation to him in detail, then… well, he already thought they were insane, but it wouldn't help them any.

"Please," Penguin said as coaxingly as possible. "We really need your help."

"And I'm flattered, really," Erik lied, taking a step back. "But you… have caught me at an inconvenient time. I have other matters, more important matters, to attend to."

"You mean Christine?" Yami snorted. "Oh, don't worry about the little tart, she'll be fine."

"We can bring you back before she wakes up," Rikku reassured him.

"Nevertheless," he went on, unsure of why his love had just been referred to as a pie, "I am not going anywhere. And I'll thank you all for leaving my home this instant, and forgetting you were ever here." And with that he turned his back on them (a dangerous thing for any Phantom incarnation to do in the presence of PHANs) and began to walk away towards the organ. He noted thankfully that his sword was leaning up against it, and kept his wits about him, still wary of the three girls, who had now gone into a little huddle.

"What are we going to do now?" Penguin asked in a whisper.

"We have to get him out of here somehow."

"You think we could take him?"

There was a pause as they all looked over towards the well-built man standing by the organ. They did outnumber him, but it would take a lot of effort to drag him all the way back up to the time machine if he wasn't willing to come. Still… they weren't being given much choice at the moment.

Maybe they could blackmail him into it though…

There was further hushed whispers, and then silence. Erik immediately tensed up, prepared for the attack. He counted slowly under his breath and then, grabbing the sword, spun around as quick as a cat.

And stopped.

There was no one behind him.

He stood there, baffled, wondering where in hell those lunatic girls could have gone. It was then that he heard the giggles coming from… the bedroom? He was about to step forward and find out what was going on (and protect Christine if necessary), when one of the girls skipped out and waved something at him. At first he thought it was just a very large, very long white handkerchief. And then he realised…

"Naughty Phantom!" Penguin crowed triumphantly. "What's Christine going to think when she wakes up and find her stocking missing?"

"How dare you!"

"And the other one too!" Yami squealed, flourishing the other. "What's she going to think?"

"Pervert! Pervert! The Phantom is a pervert!" chanted Rikku.

Erik, outraged (and panicking over the idea that Christine Would think it was him), gave a yell of fury and charged at Penguin, who was closest to him. But she danced out of his way, using the stocking like a matador's cape.

"Close… but no stocking," she giggled.

He charged again, and still she evaded him. He tried going for Yami, but failed twice before resorting to desperate measures. Gripping his sword, he managed to strategically work Yami into a corner of the lair, and held her there with the point of his sword. Her humour faded instantly. The plan to lure him out of the lair seemed to have backfired.

"Give that to me!" he shouted.

"Woah… we were only playing…"

"GIVE IT TO ME!"

And right on cue, 'it' was given to him, 'it' in this case meaning a very heavy candlestick, delivered by Rikku directly to the back of his head. He stood there for a moment, shocked, and then folded up into a little heap. Rikku lowered the candlestick, a little horrified with herself. Her fellow Agents stared at her.

"You killed him!" Yami whimpered.

Thankfully, after a (very) thorough examination, it was found he was not dead, just unconscious. Rikku felt a little upset with herself for delivering the blow but, as the others pointed out, it made things a little bit easier for them.

Only a little, however, since they now had to haul Erik's limp body all the way back up and through the Opera house. And he was definitely NOT light.

"Kind of makes you wish he was more like the Leroux version," Penguin panted as they carried him along.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, skeleton people weigh less, don't they?"

"Erik wasn't a skeleton!"

"Oh, he was close enough."

"Don't be so cruel!"

"What do you mean? It was a part of his physical description!"

"But you don't have to rub it in."

It will be noted, just for the record, that they forgot to return Christine's stockings.

In the meantime, back at HQ, The Organiser was beating her brains out about what to do. Actually, to be more accurate, she was beating her secretary's brains out. She'd just come out of a rather difficult board meeting. It hadn't gone well.

"Excuse me, boss? There's an urgent phone call for you on line one."

The Organiser let go of her secretary (who didn't waste any time in making a swift escape), and picked up the phone. Pressing the button, she cleared her throat.

"Hello?"

"Good evening."

Her breath hitched a little in her throat. The voice was very distinct… because it sounded exactly like the voice on the Scream movies.

"How are things?"

"Aren't you meant to ask me what my favourite scary movie is?"

The voice at the other end faltered for a moment, then seemed to grasp her meaning and get back on track. "Do not mock us," it said. "We have something very important to you. If you want to remember your precious Phantom then you'd best stay on our good side."

"What have you done to him?"

"Oh nothing… he's perfectly fine."

"What reassurances can I have of that?"

"Perhaps the fact that you still remember who he is," said the voice at the other end.

"I want to speak to him."

"Don't you all?"

"I want to know he's unharmed!"

There was an exaggerated sigh at the other end of the phone, followed by some plaintive moans. It took the Organiser a few minutes to remember that it was actually Original Erik making these sounds. He was prone to this kind display.

"Erik?"

There was another moan.

"Erik, for god's sake, do something other than moan!"

There was a sigh.

"Say something!"

There was a pause, until finally she heard a slightly indistinct voice say: "Who… is this?" It was certainly Erik. No one in the world could sound so beautiful when they were miserable. He also spoke with a slight French accent, but we all know what a smarty-pants he is, hence the fact he can understand and speak English.

"Erik, you don't know me, but I'm a friend. Look… I'm so sorry for what's happened for you and…" She paused and looked around. She had an audience. Just about every Agent who had been close enough to hear her had crowded in, and the others were being drawn to the commotion. There was a hush… at least they appreciated the seriousness of the situation. "… we're doing everything we can," she went on. "We'll get you out of this, I promise."

There was another sigh, and then, to her annoyance, the other voice returned to the phone.

"You see? Perfectly fine."

"Hardly," she snarled angrily. "He sounds miserable."

"Doesn't he always?"

"That is not the point!"

"Well, if you wish for things to change for the better, you had best get a move on. Your progress is disappointing so far."

"Wait a sec! How do you – "

But before she could get the questions out, there was a click from the other end. They had hung up. She replaced the phone, and folded her arms over her chest, thinking. After a few moments, she realised the other Agents were still watching her.

"What are you looking at! Get back to work!"

There was a general scuffle as people rushed back to desk, and the Organiser watched them. It disturbed her… if the CRITICS knew about their progress (or lack thereof) then that could mean only one thing – there was a spy somewhere. Damn things… if it were up to her she'd have them all strung up by the ankles and boiled in a vat of golden syrup. She'd have to be more careful about who was trusted around here…

There was a scream. Everyone looked up in absolute shock, wondering who could possibly have died. Then, one of the PHANs rushed into the room, her expression one of utter joy and excitement.

"They got him! He's here! Gerry Butler Phantom is here!"

This announcement was followed by a scene that can be compared only to a herd of stampeding wildebeest on the plains of the Serengeti. Either that or some kind of riot. People leapt over chairs, desks and other people in order to get to the lab, where the team of Agents had just brought back the unconscious Phantom. Only a few Agents, who had been less than impressed by his version of the character, remained behind as the hurricane that was the PHAN girls passed by.

"That's one, at least," The Organiser said.

"We're ready to dispatch the next team!" said her secretary, handing her a piece of paper.

"The Susan Kay team?" The secretary nodded. "Right… send them in straight away. Tell them we don't have much time… it'll be easiest if they just go back to when Erik was a baby and picked him up then."

"Oh, yes," the secretary said, although her look clearly indicated her disappointment.

Noticing it, the organiser gave an exasperated sigh. "Yes, I know… we'd all like the full grown version, but we just don't have the time. They are NOT to go traipsing through his life story, got it? Tell them it's a direct order… they'd never disobey a direct order."

"Of course not..." said the secretary, who as she walked away, realised that, when it came to Phantom Phans, everyone, even her boss, had the potential to be incredibly (and stupidly) trusting.

There you have it! One Erik obtained! I'm having lots of fun writing this... just a few quick replies to people:

Yami396: It was a lucky guess... partly inspired by the fact I'VE watched it serveral times too! (And yes, you do rock... I loved writing the mirror bit).

Rikku Ree: You're way ahead of me! hehe. And I give you full credit for the spy idea (although it's not me, I swear!).

Erm... everyone who asked to join a specific team... if I don't tell you otherwise then you can safely assume that you'll be on your requested mission. I'll let people know if places are full... but there'll still be a chance you can get involved if you're happy to go after a different Erik.

Keep the reviews coming! You know I love them. Next time... it's Susan Kay Erik!