Chapter Eight

Tommy's eyes unglued from the TV after a split second.

"You're…what?"

"Pregnant. With child. I have a bun in the oven…"

"Okay…I get it…how?"

"Weelll, it all starts one night of passionate sex and when the sperm reaches an egg---"

"Jude, I'm well aware of how it happened, but we used protection."

"Protection is only 97 effective."

"I thought…I thought you couldn't…yah know…"

"I have a low chance of keeping the baby til full term. That doesn't mean I can't get pregnant. Tommy, say something…please." I said, repressing the urge to cry.

"Like…what…?" Tommy said, still looking shocked.

"Like, honey I love you…I'm happy you're pregnant, Jude…or…I guess you could say 'I hate you dirty bitch get out of my sight' preferably something like the first two…I know we haven't been together long and I know you have commitment issues. I'm not asking you to marry me, I just want to know you're okay with me being pregnant…not that I'm going to have an abortion…"

He raised his eyes to the ceiling and sighed, frowning all the while. Uh-oh. That's not a good reaction. Almost instantly my throat got tight.

"You're not happy," I said, swallowing, "Are you?"

"I'm just…I'm…I'm in shock, Jude." He replied, moving into a sitting position, forcing me into the sat position.

I got out of his lap and off the bed, standing beside it. This wasn't good. Tommy raked his hand through his hair and sighed again. Then he got up in a few abrupt motions and headed towards the door. My heart sank and my throat tightened again.

"Where are you going?" I managed to say.

"Out, babe. I…I just need to think." He didn't even turn around.

I heard him sigh again, then he was gone. Fuck. What the hell just happened? Did he not want the baby? Was he mad? One thousand "what-ifs" flew through my mind as tears fell down my cheeks. I flopped back down on my bed and sobbed until my phone rang. I sat up, dried my eyes, cleared my throat, and grabbed the phone from its cradle on the nightstand beside my bed.

"Hello?" I croaked into the phone.

"What did he do to you?" It was Kat.

"I'm pregnant."

"That's not the end of the world."

"He didn't seem to take it…well."

"What did he say?"

I recapped what had just happened and when I was finished, Kat was silent for a moment.

"I'll have Jamie trail him."

"Thanks."

"Sweetie, do you want me to come over?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. I'll be right there."

"Thanks."

We hung up and I called Sadie. I told her everything and she left Vanessa (dubbed: Nessa) with Simon. When I got off the phone, I tossed it down and stretched back out on my bed, waiting for my security blanket to arrive.

Sadie and Kat arrived within minutes. When they entered my room, I was still lying on my bed. As I lay on my back, Kat took my right side and Sadie took my left and they sat down, framing me.

"If he doesn't want this baby," Sadie said first thing, "Fuck him. He's not worth it."

"Yes, he is!" I replied, breaking down.

Kat's cell phone rang, to the tune of my old hit "Your Eyes". She blushed slightly.

"It's Jamie."

She answered the phone. The petite woman gave a series of "uh-huh"s, "really"s, and a "Love you, too." She hung up and put her phone by my discarded home phone.

"Well, on the good side, he's not picking up anyone." She said.

"That's great. What's going on?"

"Well, Jamie said Tommy just bought the entire bar three rounds while downing a few shots of Jack and a tank."

"Wonderful."

I was angry that he went to the damn bar. Then hurt took over the anger and I started crying again. Why is he acting like this? When I told Ryland I was pregnant he swept me into his arms, kissed me like no other, then wrote a song about the happiness about the aspects about being a dad. Oh, great. I think Ryland ruined it for me. I was expecting that reaction again. Tommy was never Ryland. They were two very different personalities. And I think I needed to distance myself from Tommy.

"I think I'm gonna go away for a little while." I told Kat and Sadie after I dried my tears.

"Good idea." Sadie said.

"Sounds good." Kat agreed, "Where're you going to go?"

"My cabin. I think I'll leave tonight."

"What about Tommy?" Kat asked, "Are you going to tell him?"

"I'll see if he even comes home." I said, "If he does, I don't even know what I'm going to do."

Lo and behold, Tommy did come home. But he was drunk beyond belief. I hope Jamie drove him here. I helped him upstairs as he muttered something about a music train and how it changed radio stations. Once in my room, I helped him get undressed, and fended off his hands as he tried to grope me. I sat him down on the bed when I got him down to his boxers.

Tommy smiled at me dreamily and kissed me on the lips. I could taste the alcohol and fought the urge to gag.

"I luuurrrvvvvveee you, Jude." He slurred, "I'm goin-gonna bes a daddy."

"Yes, yes you are."

"Sooo happy." He said, then fell back and passed out.

I raised my eyes to the ceiling. Heaven help me, I still loved him. I covered him up and went into the bathroom. I got out a tube of lipstick I never wore from my vanity and wrote on the bathroom mirror. Yeah, I know it's the oldest bit in the book, but if I left a note anywhere else he'd never find it. When I was finished, I capped the lipstick, left it on the counter, and exited the bathroom.

Before leaving the room, I looked down at Tommy. He looked so peaceful, so handsome. I felt my heart melt. Then, I mentally kicked my ass. I was suppose to be mad at him, or at least disappointed. I'm hopeless. With a sigh, I kissed him on the cheek, and left.