We sat quietly in the back seat of the transport. Even after all that had happened this morning we were still going to be on time for our meeting at Starfleet Headquarters. My head still hurt but I was thinking more clearly. I just couldn't remember why I had hurt myself and I suspected that Jonathan had everything to do with my present condition.
Leaning in, I whispered, "Jonathan, are you deliberately blocking my conscious thoughts?"
Taking his time, he finally nodded in the affirmative. I waited for further explanation, making it clear to him that I wasn't going to leave it alone.
"All right; you fainted, T'Pol, and you scared the hell out of me. That injury could have been even more serious than it is, you might have hit your temple on that sharp edge of the counter or worse. I just don't want to take any more chances; that's all. I promise we'll go over everything that happened as soon as we get you checked out at Starfleet Medical."
"I think you're being way to protective, Jonathan. What could have been so serious that I fainted, anyway?"
"I know what it was and believe me it's serious, T'Pol."
He had fallen silent again. 'What, could have possibly been so horrible in that communiqué, that I passed out?' Her head hurt. 'Jonathan did mention pictures Ral had forwarded to us.'
"Sweetheart, stop trying so hard to remember, you may have a concussion and taxing your mind like that can't possibly help your headache. Come on put your head on my shoulder and rest."
I tried doing what he said, but it didn't last long, "You're constantly in my thoughts Jonathan, you know what I'm thinking, conscious or not, and you saw the message from Ral as I was reading it, didn't you?"
He bent over and whispered in my ear. "I know you're upset. You already know that I'm aware of your thoughts. That's never been a problem for you before."
"I'm not saying it's a problem, at least not in the way you're thinking. Oh, never mind, you already know I don't mean it wrong."
Sighing, Jonathan took hold of my hand and touched it to his lips. "T'Pol, listen, I want to do a medically controlled mind meld with you as soon as the Doctor gives you a clean bill of health."
My heart sank, "What if I don't want you too?"
"I would never do something that you didn't want, T'Pol. But we still need answers to our questions, and now more than ever." He sighed, all the while rubbing the back of my hand, "Sweetheart, you had a relapse this morning when I tried to help you. Now, I'm afraid you're going to experience more reoccurrences; that's why we need to get to the bottom of this now. Do you remember how distant you were after you were released from Sickbay? You tried to put you life back together, remember what happened. Well what happened this morning reminded me of the way you were back then; we don't want to start all over again, T'Pol?"
I brought my hand up and touched the side of his face. "You know that I would never refuse you anything, Jonathan, you are my husband."
"I know, I just don't want to do this unless you are in complete agreement, what I'm suggesting you aren't going to like."
"I know." I had felt his apprehension to even discuss it with me. "What do you mean by medically controlled?"
"I want Phlox and V'Lar present. She has already seen your file so she has a pretty good idea of what happened and you trust her. V'Lar may be of help and she is going to be your assistant, not to mention she's Vulcan, that could come in handy for me, don't you think."
"That doesn't exactly tell me what medically controlled means, Jonathan."
"I just want him there with us. I have some questions I need answered." He was trying not to look at me, when that didn't work he finally gave in. "All right, I see the look on your face, so he might come in handy, you know, just in case either of us needs help. I don't know much about melding, except what I've read in Surak's teachings. I'm hoping V'Lar will be forthcoming with the information that I need."
The transport pulled up in front of Starfleet Headquarters. I guess Jonathan had informed them that we would be making a stop at Starfleet Medical first, because, Phlox was standing out front with a medical team.
I was not happy with his choice of transportation, and I let him know it, "I don't need a wheelchair, Phlox, I am fine."
"I'm happy to see you to Ambassador, and I will be the judge of whether you're fine or not, I'm the Doctor, remember."
"I'm sorry, Phlox, I am somewhat agitated about this whole situation, but I really am pleased to see you."
"Sit back and enjoy the ride, T'Pol, Starfleet Medical is at the back of this monstrosity. The halls go on forever and if you do have a concussion I certainly don't want you passing out on me and doing more damage to your delicate limbs. It won't take long, I promise."
Jonathan walked up on the other side of Phlox and motioned for him to have the orderly take me on ahead. I had wanted to hear what he was going to ask him; but that was not to be the case. Even with my superior hearing the orderly was too noisy for me to decipher what they were talking about. 'I fully intend to find out later.'
I was extremely agitated now; I had been waiting for some time, when, Phlox finally made an appearance. After poking and prodding, then forcing me to follow the bright light with my eyes, he quietly announced that I would live, which he thought was amusing, I however, did not. He also informed me that I did not have a concussion. Half an hour later and ten delicate stitches to my forehead; he told me that I would be good as new in a few days.
Just as I was about to go in search of my husband, the doors opened and Jonathan came into the Lab. He said that he had talked with the Admiral and rescheduled for 14:00 Hours. Evidently he and Phlox had decided I was fit for their little experiment, even, if I didn't think so. Fifteen minutes later, V'Lar joined us in the Medical Lab.
Finally sitting down next to me after pacing around the Lab, Jonathan took hold of my hand; "I've been talking to V'Lar and Phlox. Mind melding is not my expertise, so I'm not going to throw a bunch of mumbo jumbo at you T'Pol."
"Mumbo Jumbo?" I didn't have the faintest idea what he was talking about.
"Sorry, let me start again, Phlox doesn't know anymore about mind melding than I do, so, I have spent the last forty-five minutes with V'Lar. I'm going to try to do a meld that will put you on the outside as an observer. You will see, but you won't feel. Does that make any sense?"
"It will entail all that I remember during my conscious hours?" I asked him hesitantly.
"We'll be focusing on what you see and what you hear, but yes, we'll begin from the time you were kidnapped to the last thing you remember."
"I will be a bystander; on the outside looking in and you are going to be with me, watching too?"
"Yes, all the way, T'Pol, I will be with you all the way."
"You were right, I am not going to like this, Jonathan. Can we just get it over with before I change my mind, please?"
ooooo
'My head hurts,' I finally opened my eyes. V'Lar was sitting next to me with her hand resting against the side of my face.
"I see you have decided to join us. How do you feel, T'Pol?"
"My head hurts." I looked around trying to find Jonathan.
"You have been asleep for a few hours. Would you like for me to get Phlox? He might give you something for your headache?"
I tried to shake my head, but it hurt too much. "No, I can wait till Phlox checks on me, where is Jonathan?" I was feeling nauseated. "V'Lar, he is alright, isn't he?" I tried controlling the alarm growing inside me, I was sensing something wasn't right and it was coming from V'Lar.
"Yes of course, he's resting on the next bio-bed, he's just on the other side of the curtain."
"Why are you blocking my thoughts, V'Lar?"
She looked at me, contemplating her next words. "I thought it best, until Doctor Phlox returns, then we need to talk to you, T'Pol."
I felt suddenly cold, "Why is he so exhausted, V'Lar?" Taking a deep breath, I looked at her, "I shouldn't have agreed to do this, should I?"
"While it is true that things did not go as planned, T'Pol, I still believe it was the right decision. I'm afraid that Jonathan wasn't prepared for what he saw and heard," V'Lar hesitated before going on, "As it turns out, it was to much for him."
Deeply inhaling, I looked over at the curtain. "I want to get up, would you find Phlox."
The curtain came back, "I'm right here, T'Pol. I was almost done anyway. Do you think you can sit up?" With Phlox's help I sat up and hung my feet over the edge.
Jonathan was on the bio-bed unconscious, restraints holding him down. At first all I could do was stare in total disbelief, then I was afraid to ask. I somehow knew what they were going to tell me. Tears filled my eyes.
I turned to Phlox, "He couldn't handle what he saw, could he?" The words stuck in my throat.
V'Lar came closer, placing her hands over mine. "We believe he saw everything, but at an exceptional pace, Phlox called it fast forwarding; he wasn't able to separate himself from what was happening to you. In other words he wasn't able to step outside to see things as an observer."
"What is wrong with him?" I turned to Phlox, demanding answers.
Phlox's eyes dropped to the floor in front of him. "He may have experienced your injuries mentally, T'Pol."
The blood drained from me, my mind went blank; the next thing I knew I was being helped back onto the bio-bed and was being told to lay back.
When my mind began to function again, many things raced through my thoughts. I remember asking Phlox and V'Lar how serious his condition was and what we could do to help him now.
"He must be put in a healing trance, but first we need to know what he saw, T'Pol." V'Lar motioned for me to sit up, helping me to steady myself.
"Will you permit me to meld with you, T'Pol?"
I couldn't hide my surprise. All I could do was stare at her, I couldn't think of why she would want too. Finally I asked, "Why, how will that help Jonathan?"
Phlox answered, "Jonathan is in shock, T'Pol. Time is not on his side. V'Lar can accomplish two things at once, do what Jonathan initially intended and help us to see what he saw and why he has slipped into this state; then I can decide on a method of treatment. I believe he is still feeling your pain. You know how excruciating it was, you're a Vulcan; do you believe he is capable of holding up as well as you did, T'Pol?"
"I want to see him first, touch him." With Phlox's help I went to Jonathan's bedside. I placed my hands to each side of his face.
TBC
7