A/N: I've been listening to Creed as I made a lot of my fanfics, and I decided to do my second song fic- the first is posted on another website and is more of a love fic. This one is going to be a bit on the angst side, but with the same anime. This is my first angst really and I would really like to hear your opinion on it, constructive criticism is welcome and so are death threats, they keep me laughing... and I need that when my writing keeps getting so depressing. One thing, it is slash, has boy/boy love (like most of my fanfics), and is angst... so if you have a problem with any of those please do not read because I am warning you now, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOUR COMPLAINTS if you do not heed that warning... that over with. My simple Disclaimer I do not own Gundam Wing... never had never will not unless some freak accident leaves me a great inheritance that includes it but hey the odds of that happening are against me... I also do not own Creed, their songs, or their lyrics... although I'm sure I could if I could suddenly become rich and buy them otherwise no... Enjoy, hopefully... With out further ado, I present to you... Weathered (which coincidentally also the name of the song I am using in it)
Weathered
/I lie awake on a long, dark night/
/I can't seem to tame my mind/
Duo looked out of the safe house's fogged window, the snow was falling steadily outside. He held his hand against the cold surface, feeling the numbness spread over the out stretched fingers. The darkness outside, blinding in its entirety swallowing up all except the falling white. The endless flakes, forming a blanket far below on the ground. He sighed, moving from his chair by the window to sit back on his bed.
/Slings and arrows are killing me inside/
/Maybe I can't accept the life that's mine/
Duo closed his eyes, sighing heavily. He could feel the other person occupying the bed shift slightly. He looked over to the mess of dark hair, covering the innocent face beneath them. The face that only found relaxation in slumber. He reached out and caressed one smooth cheek, a tear falling down his face. Heero shifted slightly in his sleep and Duo pulled his hand back, wiping the offending tear from his cheek savagely.
/No I can't accept this life that's mine/
Duo laid his head back on the down filled pillow, forcing his eyes closed. He evened his breathing, falling into a restless slumber. A sleep filled with nightmares and memories that were better buried deep within his past, a period not of rest but of torture. He woke the next morning when the sun was still rising. Rousing his partner as he climbed from the large bed, the snow outside already melted to form a slight mush.
"Duo?"
He walked from the bedroom and down into the kitchen. Heero's laptop stood beeping on the table, a message for all to read blaring prominently across the screen. He read the message and re-read the message. A mission had been given to him and Quatre, they were to leave as soon as they received it. He sighed, pushing the thoughts for coffee far from his mind as he went to knock on the boy's shared bedroom.
Trowa answered the door, sleep glazed eyes staring back at the other pilot. Duo asked quietly for the other pilot, Trowa turned his back on Duo moving back towards the bed. Quatre lay tangled in the blankets, his blonde hair mussed over his innocent angelic face. Trowa gently woke him, kissing him tenderly on the forehead as he yawned in protest. Quatre looked to Duo and sighed, standing to dress as Duo turned to leave.
He returned to his room and began to strip to his boxers, letting them lay where they fell. He turned to the dresser pulling a pair of dark clothes from its depths, where it lay nestled among identical clothes. He pulled the baggy pants over his hips, fastening them. He didn't acknowledge his lover's soft glare from the unmade bed until he turned to pull the shirt over his still braided head.
"Mission, we must leave now," Heero made to protest, but Duo shook his head, grinning.
/Simple living is my desperate cry/
/Been trading love with indifference yeah it suits me just fine/
Death Scythe moved through the air, slicing mobile dolls from its flight path as it went. Sandrock moved beside of him, easily maneuvering the dolls as they moved toward him. Quatre flickered onto the screen before Duo, a small smile playing on his lips. Duo grinned back, the contagiousness causing Quatre to giggle. Duo knew the force it took the small boy to remain upbeat during times like these. Duo's cheery voice called over the screen. "Just a bit farther, Quat. Then a big boom and our work is done," he grinned cheekily for the second time before turning the screen off, focusing on the mission.
The moment the screen was gone the grin faded from his face, replaced by a tired haggard look. More dolls came to bombard them, Duo took over killing them off to allow Quatre passage. Duo panted slightly from the exertion, moving to catch up with the blonde pilot. The dolls continued to move at him, and he continued to slice them out of the air- forming a grave in his wake. He finally was beside the other pilot once more, the base they were to bomb in complete view.
/I try to hold on but I'm calloused to the bone/
/Maybe that's why I feel alone/
Suddenly Quatre stopped held back by a mobile doll who he battled fiercely with. Duo opened a screen between them, he could see Quatre's exertion on his features plainly. Quatre's breathing was labored, Duo turned back to help his friend out.
"No, Duo, go finish the job so we can go home. I'll be fine, I can handle a couple of dolls on my own. Just go," Quatre gasped over the screen, Duo hesitated but turned back to the job.
The base was directly below him, the bomb falling down upon it as he let fire rain down on the metallic roof. The blast was greater and faster than he had expected, pushing him backwards in its wake. He was surrounded by a dark fog, cutting him off from the rest of the world. He tried to move from within the shadows, but he couldn't see where he was going. He was enclosed in a trap he himself had set, and he was in danger. He never saw the doll flying straight at him, not until it was too late. His vision became blank as he fell from the sky, blood filled his sight.
/Maybe that's why I feel so alone/
Duo blinked his eyes open, looking around and feeling a great pain cascading through his entire body. He was still in Death Scythe, he blinked trying to clear his vision but it kept blurring. The pain rushing through him made it almost impossible to think. He forced himself to stand, thankful his suit was still working as he stood wobbly on his feet. The dizziness that impacted him made his world spin out of control for a moment. He took a tentative step forward.
/Me... I'm rusted and weathered/
/Barely holding together/
/I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal/
Sandrock stood not far away, cockpit open and an unconscious Quatre lay at its base. Duo mentally cried out at the sight, rage filling his body. A mobile doll stood a few yards away advancing on the fallen pilot. Duo called out charging on the suit, slicing it down as it reached the boy's side. He sent it flying with a hard shove of his hand, biting back the bile rising in his throat as his world was sent careening once more. He grit his teeth against the pain, jumping from his cockpit to look over the pilot who lay out cold. He smiled slightly as he checked the boy's pulse, it was strong. He knew he would have to think fast in order to get himself and his friend out of immediate danger. He decided to put the other pilot in the cockpit of Quatre's Gundam and strap it to his own, hoping for the best.
He set off, moving as quickly as he could. He only encountered two dolls, most being blown to pieces from the blast or losing power from the lack of control. He brought them down efficiently, smiling to himself in spite of the pain. He felt relief rush through him as he saw the safe house in the distance. The other three pilots stood outside, Wufei and Heero practicing their hand to hand combat and Trowa watching on. Trowa was the first to notice them, he could tell even from this distance because the Heavy Arms pilot pointed incredulously into the air. He could imagine the boy's fear, his lover's Gundam being completely motionless.
/The sun shines and I can't avoid the light/
/I think I'm holding onto life too tight/
Duo gently lowered Sandrock to the ground, standing stoically on its feet. Duo landed beside him, shuddering. He quickly shut down and sat for a moment, watching as the startled Trowa quickly approached them. He dropped Quatre's cord, using it to enter the boy's cockpit, which had opened upon arrival. Trowa scooped the boy from his seat and carried him back down cradled in his lover's arms. Trowa laid him on the ground, staring up at Death Scythe. Duo allowed his cockpit door to open, staring down at the two below him.
"What happened?" Trowa called up to him, Duo shrugged but the action cost him too much- he felt himself falling.
/Ashes to ashes and dust to dust/
/Sometimes I feel like giving up/
No one could move quickly enough to catch him on his downward descent and he collided with the unsympathetic ground. He could feel darkness creep into his vision even as he felt a pair of warm arms encircle his waist. He opened his eyes as far as he could, achieving a half lidded vision of Heero's worried face. He reached a hand up to stroke the boy's smooth cheek as he had done privately so many nights as he had lain sleeping.
/Sometimes I feel like giving up/
The pain tore through his body and he could feel a thick liquid fill his throat. He coughed harshly, a metallic substance filling his mouth and trickling down his chin. Blood. Heero pulled back, opening his shirt so that he could look at his injuries. A ragged cut tore at his stomach and many other serious cuts adorned his battered body. He could feel tears well up in his eyes, he didn't want it this way. But he knew this would be the last time he viewed his lover, the last time he glanced up into his beautiful face.
/Me... I'm rusted and weathered/
/Barely holding together/
/I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal/
He caressed the skin beneath his fingers, a forlorn tear tracing down his cheek, painted pink. He tried to think of something to say, something to convey his feelings, his thoughts, his soul to the boy above him. He saw Wufei and Trowa join him. He smiled up at them, the emotions filling his eyes breaking their hearts.
"Is... he...o... okay?" he could barely hear himself, forcing the words past his suddenly swollen throat.
"Yes, he just came around, a slight bump on the head. Now we'll take you inside and tend to your wounds, then you can rest. You'll be as good as new before you know it," Trowa spoke cheerfully from above him.
Duo just calmly shook his head, closing his eyes wearily, opening them again to stare lovingly up into cobalt eyes.
/The day reminds me of you/
/The night hides your truth/
Heero looked at him, an emotion he couldn't read spreading over his face. Wufei stared down at him, denial written over his features. Quatre crawled past Wufei to lay beside the injured pilot, tears running unashamed down his face. He buried said face in Duo's arm, Duo looked over at the boy smiling reassuringly. Duo brushed the hair back from the boy's face, wiping a few tears from their downward course.
"Do... not... cry... Quat," he whispered raggedly to the small boy beside of him, trying to catch a breath that would not come.
/The earth is a voice/
/Speaking to you/
Duo kissed the boy's forehead, grimacing at the spot of blood left behind. The world began to spin out of control as his body shook with pain. Quatre yelled in panic, he could hear Heero screaming for him to open his eyes to talk to him. He could hear it, but he couldn't comply. He could feel himself slipping, their words fading away. Then suddenly the pain was gone and he opened his eyes to stare once more into his lover's, his eyes not clouded by pain so great. He took his last shaking breathes.
/Take all this pride/
/And leave it behind/
"I love you Heero, remember that I love you. I love you all, but Heero I love you most. I will never forget you. In your dreams I will always be with you, please do not forget me. For I will live through you, all of you. You must live the life that I could not," Duo spoke in a breathy whisper, fighting for his last breath, tears flowed openly around him falling onto him and forming a pink flood. He smiled up at them, it finally reaching his eyes and making them sparkle with love.
/Because one day it ends/
/One day we die/
His eyes became too heavy for him to hold them open any longer. He heard Heero call out, screaming to the heavens. He felt Quatre's warmth on his chest, warm streaks flowing onto his skin. He knew this wasn't the end, he had a much bigger battle to fight. He was ready to begin that journey. The life around him began to fade, his breathing became shallow until it just finally stopped altogether.
/Believe what you will/
/That is your right/
Trowa bent over his grief stricken lover and felt for a pulse in the boy's wrist. He shook his head sadly as three pairs of eyes turned on him. Quatre crumbled in complete agony, screaming out. Tears fell for the first time down the Perfect Soldiers face, as he turned his face heavenward, his heart tearing in two as he sank beside his lifeless lover. Wufei looked to the ground, shoulder's slumped as tears trailed his bronzed cheeks, sobs making his shoulders shake. Only Trowa stayed composed as he stared out into the distance, Duo stood there waving happily a large grin plastered to his face as he turned for the last time and walked away into thin air.
/But I choose to win/
/So I choose to fight/
The Gundam pilots were never the same after the loss of their number two pilot. They refused to let him be replaced, threatening the life of any one who dared and tried to. Heero never loved again, but he also never broke his promise. Every night he dreamt of his one true love. Quatre grew to be the one to replace Duo in keeping the cheer in the place reasonable, but that was only after years of mourning. Wufei attempted suicide but stopped as he saw Duo's picture hanging dustless on his wall, the grinning pilot staring back at him from the frame. And Trowa, Trowa repaired Death Scythe and kept it well maintained in remembrance of their happy-go-lucky pilot. It was the only thing he knew to do to remember the lost boy. They never quite got over the loss but they fought all their battles in his name, and won every one. Because his death made them ruthless fighters, killing the ones who took their friend away too soon.
/To Fight/
OWARI
A/N: By request I have made a sequel to this story... check it out. It is called 'Heartache' There you will find out what happens after the war, when the four Gundam Pilots resume 'normal' life.