Weasley War

Disclaimer: Would that I could own these characters! Alas the lint in my pocket and… some random change that adds up to 45 cents is all I've managed to find… if you truly want that then by all means, take it!

AN: Fred/Hermione/George, in that order, at the same time… Don't like it don't read. No one under the age of seventeen should read this, no one under the age of seventeen should write it.

CHAPTER 1

Hermione was absolutely furious, no, perhaps furious was too timid a word, livid might better describe her just then! Who did Ron think he was, saying such a rude, unpleasant thing to her! As though she were nothing, not even his friend! "Hey, you're a girl." That wasn't how she'd expected it, she had actually thought about him asking her on several occasions… Still… Ron was Ron, and a bloody idiot at that!

He just had no right to treat her so! And after what she'd just done not more than the day before! Krum, Krum! Of all the rich, famous wizards to ask her to the ball, it was him! Ron's hero, and possibly the second most famous school wizard about! She should've accepted the invitation hands down, but she hadn't, no, unlike every single girl in the entire place she'd told him to wait! No other girl would ever have done that! As if she didn't feel like an outcast as it was! She felt right foolish for getting her hopes up and expecting that jerk of a boy to…

She sighed, well, it didn't matter, half the school already knew about her and Krum. Or, at the very least they suspected something was up, so Krum was like to continue waiting for a couple more days before he went in search of another girl to go with. That was probably the only advantage of that Harlot's stupid article! Oh, she was terrified to write her mother! Her family also received the daily prophet, and with that story in there… And that picture that made her look like some whore, throwing herself on Harry!

She, quite frankly, wouldn't be surprised if her dad thought all owls the same, and was currently hunting one so they could send a letter themselves… After all, they couldn't understand that this woman lied, surmised, and exaggerated as fast as her quill could write!

"You damn lug head!"

Hermione blinked, that sounded an awful lot like George… Or maybe it was Fred?

"What kind of a guy are you, to ask one girl out and then the next day, try and get a different girl!"

It sounded like the twins were having a spat. Probably about a girl.

"You have no right to ask her out! Besides all that," whoever said this apparently got hit because he made a strange grunting sound and paused for a brief moment. "She wouldn't go out with you anyway!"

"Hear her tell it, she's already got a date, so what harm would it be?" There were more fighting sounds, but at that moment Hermione just wanted to be alone. She didn't want to hear their fighting, especially since they were fighting about a girl. It was foolish, but she really was angry that guys never fought about her like that. It was silly, and she knew it but still…

"Bloody bastard! That was my nose!"

Why were they fighting so close to her spot? She knew it was a relatively secluded area, in fact it was forbidden to students. Still, it didn't seem like them to want to fight privately, they much enjoyed attention for such ridiculous antics.

"You deserved it! You knew I liked her!"

"Then why didn't you ask her!"

"Because I didn't think my backstabbin' bother would go behind my back!"

Hermione was getting confused now as to who was whom, she just realized that she'd labeled one of the voices as "Fred" and the other as "George" and was now starting to get lost. They looked ever so slightly different, something minute in their appearances would always point to who was Fred, and who, George. Their voices, however…

Finally, she saw them, tumbling about behind one of the outside walls. They obviously knew this area was off limits to students, they knew all of Hogwarts rules and had successfully, broken most of them. Still, she'd used this spot herself, just to be alone, there was a bench here, old and a bit chipped on the edges of it's marble surface, but it was still nice to be alone here. It was so alone, in fact, that she'd never seen anyone else here before…

Until now.

For a moment Hermione just watched the brother's tear into one another, but then decided she ought to do something. After all, whoever this girl was, she wouldn't like either of them if their faces were both beaten and bloody.

"Stop it!" She yelled, moving to stand besides the wrestling Weasley brothers, to her surprise they both did stop, mid-swing in fact. "Now what are you two on about?"

The boys scrambled to their feet as fast as they could, both of them looking very much like guilty children. "Uh, eh, Hermione!" It was George who spoke first.

"We were uh – " Fred looked lost, his eyes darting around but refusing to come to focus on her. This only added to her idea of them being guilty children. "We uh – That is to say…"

"You all were having a spat about some girl." Hermione filled in for them and from the crestfallen looks on their faces, she guessed they must've felt like they'd been caught with both hands firmly stuck in the cookie jar. "You were supposed to meet her hear too?" she guessed again, figuring guesswork might just finish out in this.

When they winced she sighed, chances were Fred had left the girl a not asking her to meet him here. It seemed a bit out of character, but it was the only thing that made any real sense. Then, George had found out about the note, probably overheard some gossiping girls, he having liked the same girl came here to confront (or yell) Fred about it.

Still, her theory seemed odd. More characteristic of the boys would be for them to expect some girl to be here and surprise her, like, jump out and say, "Want to go to the ball with me?" and scare her half out of her wits, something to that nature seemed more likely…

"Well, whoever she is she won't like to be going with either of your with your faces looking like that." Both of them were currently sporting bloody noses, their hair disheveled, and their robes were ripped in places. If she hadn't seen them fighting, she'd still know what was going on.

She expected them to say something, something anything at all, but they just stood there, looking down at her. However she wasn't in the mood for their games, not at all. "Oh just carry on." She growled irritably. She couldn't even go to her favorite spot because of yet another Weasley!

For a second Fred and George looked at each other, then reaching a fast mutual agreement, the ran after her.

"Hey, we're real sorry," Fred grabbed Hermione's books from her hand as he said this. She looked ready to protest but stopped when George grabbed her attention.

"We didn't mean for that to happen, or well…" he scratched the back of his head, not really knowing what to say.

"What he means is, we didn't mean for you to see us like that." Fred winced at the unhappy look she sent him. Obviously she wasn't about to hear out their excuses, but still, one had to try.

"You are all just stupid, you two and Ron!" she spat angrily, reaching for her books, but Fred dodged her hands easily enough.

"Sorry for that, too." George successfully got Hermione's attention off of Fred, she wouldn't take off without her books, something that had been intentional. Everyone knew as long as Fred kept her books in his hands she would be forced to stay with them, she wouldn't leave them behind. "He's a bit of a dolt sometimes, he doesn't know what to say around girls, my guess is, today wouldn't be the first time he pissed you off right royally."

Hermione glared at him and he realized he wasn't helping the situation, not one bit.

"Look, just let us apologize." Fred took her elbow, stopping her from going on. He figured she wouldn't want them all running into the common grounds, just so everyone could hear them.

"Look, you two shouldn't be the one's to apologize for him. Ron's a heartless, bloody bastard and he should apologize himself!" he language wasn't usually so colorful, and the two boys found themselves dumbfounded and staring at her for a long moment.

Growling at them she yanked her books free of Fred's hands and stormed off. She was really in no mood, and beyond that, she needed to talk to Krum, and fast…

Fred and George looked at each other. They'd failed and each one of them blamed the other. When they broke eye-contact it was only to finish tearing into one another.

Hermione didn't look behind her, but could most definitely hear them. "Boys," she muttered shaking her head. They'd always fight like that. Still she couldn't see what they were fighting about…

If there was one singular girl so important to them… She just didn't understand it, they'd talked to her, apologized to her, and then gone on fighting one another, and she didn't doubt they were fighting about that girl. Did all boys have one-tracked minds? The answer was most assuredly an enthusiastic "yes," but still…

Whatever, she still had to talk to Krum, who was still, yet another guy.