Lon Lon Tavern

Upon entering the ranch, it was obvious that there were already visitors. There were a few horses tied to stakes just outside the Cucco coop and stall. Peach and Zelda could clearly hear music coming from the coop as they peeked into pasture. There were more horses as well as more exotic modes of transportation in the pasture such as Dodongos, ostrich-like Ostros, the latter of which were familiar to Peach, and humble, wooden carriages. None of the animals seemed to mind one another and even crossed each other's paths occasionally without harm. When Zelda and Peach peeked into the barn, they only found horses, cows, and Cuccos. They returned outside and stood before the entrance to the coop, which was also the main house. They decided it was best to disguise themselves somewhat to be cautious. Zelda removed her jewelry and wrapped a scarf around her face, concealing all but her eyes and ears. Peach donned a light grey cloak she had kept in her knapsack.

As soon as they entered, everyone inside glanced at them briefly before returning to their own business. The coop had been remodeled into a tavern of sorts. Various peoples were seated at tables, playing card games, talking, drinking, or otherwise relaxing. Most of the customers were Gerudos and Hylians, of which both races made up a small band playing in the corner, but there were a few more monstrous types such as Moblins, Lizalfos, and Dinolfos. Strangely, there were also a few Shy Guys, Snifits, and Bandits, sitting on one side of the room. Glaring at them from the other side of the room were the Shamans, Crooks, and Sackits. The latter two types had dark faces like Shamans, yet their eyes were more menacing and they wore colorfully striped Kokiri-like hats. The Crooks were dressed in blue, while the Sackits were in red and green.

Zelda could see Talon, the owner of the ranch, acting as a bartender near the stairway. Peach seemed to look at him peculiarly. Zelda spotted Ingo and Malon acting as waiters. She could tell from the expression on Malon's face that she was sad, but trying to make the best of things. Zelda slipped over to her and tapped her onto the shoulder while Malon was refilling drinks at the bar.

"May I have a word with you outside?"

The redheaded girl politely replied, "Sorry, but I don't do that sort of thing. Maybe one of the Gerudos would be willing to…"

"Malon, it's me Zelda," she whispered, lowering her scarf slightly.

"Zelda!" Malon exclaimed, drawing the attention of several others.

"Shh!"

"Oh, uh…you say Zelda's dead? That's too bad…" she spoke loudly. When everyone had looked away she quickly whispered, "Come with me…" Then, she called out to her father at the bar, "Dad, I'm taking my break!" He nodded. Malon led Zelda out, with Peach following.

They walked into the barn and Malon said, "Who is that?"

"This is my friend Peach," Zelda replied in a hushed voice. "She is in exile along with me." Peach curtsied while keeping her hood on.

"You can't imagine how happy I am to see you, Zelda," Malon said, hugging her before undoing her apron and sitting against a stall. "Things have been horrible ever since you disappeared."

"I understand there is a war?"

"Yes. It's as if all the races forgot their allegiances. Right now, the Zoras are the biggest threat because they rule the waterways. They've made travel so difficult that people from all across the land come here."

"Since when did you have a tavern?" Zelda asked.

"It's been that way for almost two months now," Malon frowned.

"Two months! I couldn't have been gone for that long…"

"Don't you know? It's been over four months since you disappeared. Everyone thought you were…dead."

"So much time…" Peach whispered. "That could have been from going to another dimension….Or we were captured for most of that time…They could have done anything they wanted to us."

Zelda shuddered at the thought. "Malon, why do you have so many…strange customers?"

"We don't really have a choice," Malon said sadly. "We don't even own the ranch anymore. The Gerudos came one day and took over."

"Ganondorf…"

"No…it wasn't him."

"What do you mean it wasn't him?" Zelda said incredulously. "He's the Gerudo King. Anything they do is his handiwork."

"After that attack on Hyrule Castle," Malon explained. "The Gerudos disassociated themselves with him. They refused to follow someone who would commit such terrible crimes. Don't forget about what he did to their second-in-command seven years ago. And Ganondorf…he abandoned them, saying that they were too weak to be a part of his army. And yet, after taking over the castle, he hasn't done anything more. Everything else is everyone else's doing."

"Who struck first?"

"It's hard to say," Malon spoke unsurely. "Everything happened so swiftly. Hylians tried to flee into the mountains, but the Gorons attacked them. Other Hylians went to Zora's Domain, but the Zoras didn't respond any better. When they tried to force their way in, the Zoras flooded the river and Lake Hylia. So far, the strongest factions are the Gerudo and the Zoras, not counting Ganondorf, who's just sealed himself in the castle. The River Folk have the northeastern part of Hyrule, while the Desert Thieves have claimed most of the southwestern parts. There's a rumor that a battle just ended a few hours ago in the south."

"Ganondorf has done more than just sealed himself in the confines of my castle," Zelda said spitefully. "He's sealed the Sages within their own temples."

"You…you mean the ones Link talked about?" Malon asked. "Like Saria and Princess Ruto?"

"The very same," Zelda nodded. "Freeing the Sages should bring some order back to this chaotic land. Our first destination is to the east in the Lost Woods, where Saria lies trapped within the Forest Temple."

"Before we go, though," Peach added, "would it be okay if we spent the night here, please?"

"Of course," Malon smiled. "Anything for Her Majesty and her friend."

"Very good," Zelda said, dropping into a sitting position.

"No, you mustn't sleep here," Malon said, standing up.

"We don't mind sleeping here," Zelda said in a friendly voice. "We wouldn't want to intrude on you."

"And the hay looks comfy," Peach said, petting a horse that was trying to nuzzle her.

"I don't sleep in here or my room," Malon said hesitantly. "It would be too easy for someone to…take advantage of me."

"They didn't….take advantage of you…did they?" Zelda asked gently, while Peach looked shocked at the mere thought of it.

"Who would do such a thing?" Peach said.

"No, no!" Malon said quickly, grabbing her apron. "Nothing's happened to me…yet. I sleep on the other side of the pasture in the…"

"Malon!" Ingo called from outside. "What're you doin' in there, ya little urchin! Ya know everyone's waitin' for your performance and here you are doin' who knows what!"

"Wait here until I return," Malon said, going to the door. "I'll take you to my secret spot once we close up."

"Okay," Peach said.

"Understood," Zelda nodded. Malon bowed once more and left, apologizing to Ingo on the way. Peach and Zelda sat next to one another in front of a cow's stall that was facing the door. It was peaceful here. Though it would have been a nice place to sleep, they heeded Malon's warning.

"Zelda," Peach said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"I'm…sorry about before."

"What are you talking about?"

"The way I freaked out…over the…blood."

"It's to be expected when your world doesn't have any. Don't worry about it."

"Our world does have blood, but…" Peach stumbled and paused. "It's not something that I'm used to seeing that way. I've only seen it in hospital blood banks…and a few videogames."

"Our worlds are very different from one another," Zelda said thoughtfully. "Yet, they are somehow connected. Both have gone horribly wrong."

"Four months is a long time," a rasping voice said. Peach and Zelda were startled.

"Who's there?" Zelda demanded. They heard a light splashing noise across the room and saw white-blue limbs and a fin hanging out of a trough. "A Zora?"

"It's funny the way things can go horribly wrong in what everyone thinks is a perfect world," he spoke in a dry, almost pitying voice. "But it's not…It never was."

"What are you doing here?" Zelda asked distrustfully.

"I'm a Zora in exile," he answered in the same tone. "Isn't that funny? Banished from every natural source of water in Hyrule…and all because I didn't see the purpose of the war…I didn't see the point in attacking people who were supposedly our allies…Lines were crossed, allegiances broken…" he splashed his fist into the water. Then, he slowly rose from the water and faced them. He had an ironic look on his face, yet his shoulders were hunched. Like most Zoras, he had large, dark eyes, a tailfin protruding from the back of his head, and light blue skin that faded to white. "Hyrule, a land once at war with itself over petty differences, then a land of false ties, is now a land of betrayal…And would you like to know the saddest part?"

Zelda and Peach made no reply.

"The saaaaddest part is that not a single, wretched person is innocent of this crime. Not a goddamned one…The children have lost that wonderful glow that is their innocence; brother has forgotten brother for one unimportant venture or another; young people who blossom into adulthood have lost their love…their love of life, self, purpose, and lover; mothers abandon their children to be seduced by evil; and duty to those with close bonds is overwhelmed by the natural instinct to destroy a threat, even at the cost of those who would otherwise be protected. Yes…even the land itself has been betrayed…abandoned by the very ones who created it, disregarded by the ones who protect it, and ravaged by the ones who depend upon it."

"Not everyone is a traitor," Zelda said solemnly.

"Have you not seen the blood spill?" the Zora said, approaching them. "Have you not seen the tragedy?"

"Only the aftermath," Zelda said.

"Zelda, maybe we should go…" Peach said, feeling uncomfortable as the aquatic being trudged to them.

"Have you not abandoned this land yourself, Wanderer?" the Zora asked. "And you as well, Your Majesty? Everyone has committed at least one crime no matter who they are."

"No, that was an accident," Zelda said.

"Wanderer?" Peach whispered to herself.

"Have you not caused your friends unnecessary trouble?" he continued, gradually raising his voice. "Have you not broken someone's heart? Have you not shirked great responsibility in order to take the easier path? Have you not lied to your most trusted of friends to keep an inconsequential secret? Have you not caused the death of another of Mother Farore's creatures? Have you not fouled the drinking water of your fellow man, so to speak?" By now, he was leaning over Zelda, face to face with her.

"Go away," she said sternly.

"As I thought," he said, grinning with his fangs and standing up straight. "The Golden Age is over, Zelda. The time has come for the Darkness to reclaim its rule over Hyrule as it did so few years ago…for the Light belongs elsewhere."

"Did you betray anyone?" Peach asked suddenly, before he could leave.

"Tis a universal trait in this world," he said, looking over his shoulder. "I have betrayed my people, who have betrayed me in turn. I shall also betray myself upon leaving this Grave of Life, by throwing it all away. Farewell, young Wanderer. Goodbye, Your Majesty." With that, he left them.

"His words rang many truths, as harsh as they may be," Zelda said thoughtfully. "Betrayal does exist in everyone."

"Why did he call me Wanderer?" Peach asked quietly.

"Your current state of dress resembles her," Zelda answered. "She was said to have always worn a cloak to hide her form and face. No one knows where she came from and no one knows exactly what she is. Some say she was a vengeful phantom that smote all who participated in battle. Others say she was an angel sent to simply make peace between all beings. From what few images I've seen of her, though, she looks more similar to a Shaman from your world, except without her entire face shrouded in darkness. In fact, Sheik and I saw a statue of her after we escaped Bowser's fortress. It reminded me of that mysterious star statue that you had in your courtyard. I never had a chance to tell you that I could fully read it. Both the Wanderor's statue and the star statue had Hylian script. Would you like to know what they said…? Peach?"

She looked toward Peach and found her dozing silently. Zelda frowned at her rudeness until Sheik commented, "Don't be so hard on her. We've all been through the wringer today. You can't blame her for getting comfortable at the first chance."

"She fell asleep while I was talking," Zelda countered. "Besides, Malon said it wasn't safe to sleep in here."

"Think of it as a sign of trust. I would be flattered that Peach would rely on me to guard her."

"Many things about Peach flatter you," Zelda smirked. Her smile became more satisfied when Sheik was unable to say anything to that.

As time slipped by, Zelda found herself nodding drowsily. The animals had all fallen asleep and it was deathly quiet. Even the sound of music had disappeared from outside. After one giant dip, Zelda sat up straight and had had enough. She stood up and began to pace back and forth, wondering what was taking so long.

Peach was slowly sinking to the side. She suddenly slipped away and fell to the side, hitting her head on the ground and waking up instantly. "Huhwhat?"

"Malon's been gone for sometime," Zelda said anxiously. "Let's go check on her before we fall asleep in here…" She looked and found Peach dozing once again. She brusquely grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the door.

When they opened the door to the tavern, they found it nearly empty. Talon was snoozing behind the bar, while Ingo slept in a corner.

"We're closed," a Gerudo said, standing right next to the doorway. She wore the purple outfit that most middle-ranked Gerudo guards wore. She had a veil, a sleeveless shirt that stopped above her navel, and puffy pants. There was a single yellow jewel on her brooch and she had her red-orange hair tied in a small ponytail.

"I'm here to speak with Malon," Zelda said, while Peach yawned behind her.

"I don't think she's into that sort of thing," the Gerudo said, looking them over with her golden eyes. "Either way, she'll be down in a minute. Just going over a few business matters. After that, you need to leave the premises."

"Wait, Tanafe," Malon said, exiting the room upstairs. "They're with me." She quickly hopped down the stairs and came to them. "Sofuru said to close the gate. It's almost lights out."

"Right," the Gerudo nodded, exiting.

"Okay, let's go," Malon said to Zelda and Peach. They left the building and walked along the path around the near-empty pasture. "Sorry for making you guys wait so long. Nothing happened while I was gone, right?"

"Just a disturbed Zora," Zelda said a little too casually.

"Oh, I forgot all about him," Malon said, looking back. "Did he leave?"

"Yes," Peach answered.

"He looked so miserable, I couldn't refuse him," Malon said.

"Did the Gerudos know about him?" Zelda asked.

"They didn't mind much," Malon said, continuing to walk. "The Gerudos can be kind of nice once you get to know them."

"Really?"

"Yep," Malon nodded. "They keep the peace around here and they don't care who their customers are as long as they've got money to spend."

"I had known them to despise those who were not of their kind," Zelda said, raising her eyebrow.

"They don't exactly warm up to everyone," Malon smiled slightly. "But they like money, they need men, and they respect strong women. Just about anyone can appeal to at least one of those qualities."

"What do you mean by 'need men?'" Peach asked innocently.

Zelda and Malon blushed slightly. Zelda explained, "Their tribe is almost completely made up of women. How else do you think they keep up their numbers?"

"Oh!" Peach gasped.

"It's inside here," Malon said as they stood before the silo. They entered and found two cows sleeping side-by-side as well as a clump of boxes. "Just a second." Malon began to push boxes around.

"Where are the Gerudos staying?" Peach asked.

"Some leave to go to other places in Hyrule," Malon said, pulling herself onto a box and hopping into a corner out of view to push another one. "The others stay in my room upstairs…There we go! Come on in."

Peach and Zelda got onto the boxes and saw her go into a crawlspace. They followed her and came into the small, cozy, hollowed out rock room. There was a white blanket over a bed of hay and a pillow. Malon dug through the hay and pulled out her golden brooch, which looked exactly like the face of a certain Koopa King.

"Is that Bowser?" Peach asked, astonished. Zelda blinked, just realizing the resemblance.

"What, this?" Malon said, holding up the necklace for her to see. "Well, yes, I guess. It was my mother's Bowser brooch. Dad has one, too. It's really just something to mark the day they founded and built this ranch. I keep it in her memory and for good luck. Dad says the person who sold it to them said it scares away evil creatures."

"Don't you usually wear that everywhere?" Zelda asked. "Why hide it here?"

"Dad and I had a feeling someone would try to steal them," Malon said. "I hide mine here, in my secret spot. Not even the Gerudos know about this exact spot."

"Did your father make this place just for you?" Zelda asked, touching the smooth rock wall.

"Actually…no," Malon said, getting a slightly uncomfortable look on her face. "I've never told anyone else this…except Link. Promise not to tell anyone…"

"Not a word," Zelda smiled.

"My lips are sealed," Peach nodded, zipping her lips.

"Okay, I'm going to trust you as my best friend and new friend," Malon said nervously. "I like to come here because…it's where Mom took me when I was little to talk and keep to ourselves. She hired a Goron to hollow this out before I was born. Whenever I'm here, I don't feel alone, even though no one else is around. It feels so peaceful, as if Mom is right here for me, listening to everything I say and watching over me. And I've always wanted Link to meet her… I'm hoping that one day he'll call her Mom, too." A deep blush came onto her shyly smiling face.

"You're in love with him?" Zelda asked, actually surprised.

"That's so sweet," Peach smiled warmly.

"Of course I love him," Malon giggled. "I've had a crush on him ever since we were little kids. He's the only other person who can tame Epona. He helps me with my chores every chance he gets. He keeps Dad out of trouble. And he's so warm and friendly and shy."

"You do know you aren't the only one, correct?" Zelda said, growing anxious.

"I think Link only figured that out a little while before all this happened," Malon giggled.

"You aren't worried?" Zelda asked, somewhat surprised about her lightheartedness.

"I'm a little nervous, sure," Malon shrugged. "It's hard to stand out when he practically lives with his childhood friend Saria and Ruto is already engaged with him. I know Link. He'll be with someone that can make him happy, whether its Saria, Ruto, me, or even someone else he has in mind. No matter what, we'll still be friends."

"That's true," Zelda said, looking at the ground.

"Something wrong?" Malon asked, before getting a teasingly suspicious look on her face. "Do you have feelings for him, too?"

Zelda blushed and stammered, "What? Of course not…we're just…friends. Just good friends and nothing more…" Peach could not help giggling at her.

"Hmm," Malon eyed her. "I don't know, Zel. You're being awfully defensive. There's nothing wrong with being in love. It's a wonderful experience. Besides, you could join the crowd."

"No, just friends," Zelda said, looking around uneasily. Her leg was bouncing on the floor.

"Then, why do you look so anxious?"

"Because I've had to relieve myself for at least a half an hour," Zelda said, standing up. "Where is your bathroom?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Malon said, covering her mouth. "Um…we don't have a bathroom…but we do have chamber pots. There should be one back in the silo."

"I'd rather not go in front of the cows," Zelda said, swaying now.

"Then…you could go outside," Malon suggested.

"Did you not imply when we arrived that there were perverts about?" Zelda asked.

"Well, you're not going in here," Malon huffed, folding her arms. Zelda had a pleading look on her face and squeezed her legs together. "Fine…I'll take you to my bathing area."

"Is it outside?"

"Yes, but there's an overhang and three walls. I'll keep a lookout. Peach, feel free go to sleep here…" She looked and found Peach already under the blanket sleeping. "…I'd better bring more pillows and blankets, huh Zelda?" Zelda was already scrambling through the crawlspace.

Peach yawned and stretched as she awakened from a good night's sleep. At least, she figured the night was over since it was impossible to tell. There was absolutely no sunlight inside. She suddenly realized that there was absolutely no source of light in the room, yet it was not very dark at all. She shrugged and decided not to think about it; she had seen stranger things before.

Peach picked the hay out from her clothing and hair as best she could, but she could have used a brush. She saw Zelda still asleep with her own pillow and blanket close by, but Malon was not present at all. Peach decided to at least find out whether it was daylight or not. She crawled through the hole and climbed over the boxes.

"Moo," one of the cows went. They were standing in the same spot, now awake and chewing cud.

"Good morning," Peach said, petting them. They nuzzled and licked her hand and she was tickled by their friendly nature. She could see sunlight coming in through windows throughout the silo. She smiled and stepped outside. It seemed to be a peaceful mid-morning. The sun was shining and there was a cool breeze. She could also hear gentle humming nearby. It was coming from around the corner of the silo, next to the outer wall of the ranch. Peach began to hum along when she found it to be a familiar melody. When she stepped around the corner, she was met with bow and arrow aimed at point-blank range. It was Malon, dripping wet and covered in suds, yet wearing absolutely no clothing other than her Bowser brooch on a necklace. There was a bucket of soap and water on the ground next to her with a rag hanging on the rim. Her clothing was hung on a nail on the silo.

"Peach, is that you?" Malon asked, still holding up the bow and arrow.

"Yes, I'm sorry!" Peach blushed, turning around instantly and raising her hands.

"Whew!" Malon sighed, lowering the weapon. "I didn't recognize you without the hood. You can relax, now."

Peach lowered her arms and walked back around the corner. "I didn't mean to walk in on you like that."

"Don't worry about it," Malon said, as there was a splashing noise. "I probably should have warned you last night."

"I heard you humming a song that I know," Peach said, sitting against the wall. "How did you learn it?"

"Epona's Song? My mother sang it to me when I was little," Malon answered. "How about you?"

Peach almost could not speak for a second. "…The same…."

"Well, isn't that just the neatest coincidence?" Malon chuckled. "Maybe our mothers knew each other."

"Probably not…" Peach said uncomfortably. "I'm from another world…a place called the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Well, you're here, aren't you?" Malon said lightheartedly. "No reason why someone else wouldn't be able to do the same." Malon came around the corner fully clothed and smiled.

"Um…where's your bathroom?" Peach asked.

After taking some time for Zelda to wake up and wash up, Malon took Peach and Zelda to the tavern for breakfast. Upon entering, they found Talon still sleeping, while Ingo swept the floor, cursing him under his breath. Several Gerudos were sitting around, talking and eating.

"Morning, Malon," the Gerudo guard standing by the doorway greeted, nearly startling the three.

"Good morning, Zeni," Malon smiled.

"So, you did take them to bed with you," Zeni smirked under her veil.

"Don't get any ideas," Malon folded her arms. "They're just my friends."

"Then, why don't you introduce us?" a Gerudo said from upstairs. It was easy to see from her longer, fuller ponytail, bangs, larger array of jewelry, and lack of a veil that she was a higher-ranking Gerudo, perhaps not even a guard. She also had a smirk on her face and hopped down for a closer look. Peach and Zelda had on their disguises once again.

"Oh…" Malon said, glancing at Zelda, who shrugged to show that she had no idea what to do. "Um…"

"This one is clearly Zelda," she said, looking into her eyes.

"Ha, ha, good one, Sofuru!" Malon laughed nervously. "As if Zelda were actually here in Hyrule."

"You can't fool me," the Gerudo said, pacing around her. "I remember seeing you years ago, when you were a little girl and we had come to swear loyalty to your kingdom. Remember?" Zelda looked around nervously. "Don't worry. No one here is going to hurt you." Zelda slowly removed the scarf and the other Gerudos were somewhat surprised.

"You caught me," she admitted.

"And who is your other friend here?" Sofuru said, looking at the hooded figure. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you looked awfully similar to the Wanderer. You certainly aren't one of the Faceless Ones."

"You mean the Shamans?" Zelda suggested. The Gerudo nodded.

"I am not the Wanderer," Peach said, removing her hood. "My name is Peach." She curtsied politely. Everyone seemed to stare at her oddly. "Is something wrong?"

Another Gerudo volunteered to ask, "Exactly what manner of being are you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You have the eyes, skin, and hair of a Hylian," Sofuru said, "yet you have the ears of a Gerudo. You are not from this land, are you?" Malon just noticed Peach's ears, which had been obscured by her hair.

"No," Peach answered, feeling uncomfortable with all the stares.

"Ladies, mind your manners," Sofuru said to the others. The rest all stopped staring instantly and looked in any other direction. "Well, then…Zelda, Peach…please feel free to eat to your wallets' capacity." She sat at a table across the room and was instantly tended to by several other Gerudos.

"Sorry about that," Malon apologized with an uncomfortable grin. "Can't get anything by her…They won't let me feed you for free, so…"

"We have no Rupees," Zelda whispered.

"That's okay," Malon said, making sure no one heard. "They'll take any valuables."

"Wait," Peach said, opening her knapsack. "I have some gold coins."

"Gold?" Malon said in surprise as Peach held up a handful. "Oh, my…Um, how pure is it."

"It's completely pure," Peach answered.

Malon was speechless for a moment. After a moment of gaping at the gold coins, she finally spoke, "…With that, you could probably buy this whole ranch, let alone a meal…You said you were heading into the forest, right?"

"Yes," both women said.

"That area is flooded, especially around the entrance," Malon said, taking two coins. "After breakfast, I'll show you something you might want to consider for transportation."

They stood outside in the pasture. Stomping along in front of them, dragging its tail behind it, was a particularly large Dodongo.

"You want us to ride a Dodongo?" Zelda balked.

"It's not so bad," Malon said, petting the two legged belly-dragger. "They don't look nice, but just feed them every week or so and they're fine. All you need is a saddle to soften your seat on those spines."

"Why a Dodongo?" Zelda questioned. "Why not a boat, or even a horse that can swim well?"

"You wouldn't think so, but they're great swimmers," Malon said. "And they're great at defending themselves."

"I know," Zelda said. "I've seen these monsters firsthand. They made late arrivals in a battle and set everything on fire. And I'm sure Link told you about his battles against these things."

"C'mon Zelda," Malon said, placing a saddle on its back. "Just give it a try. Rico's pretty gentle."

"No," Zelda said, turning her nose up. "I refuse to ride a monster known to eat just about anything."

"Hey, he isn't so bad after all," Peach said from atop the creature's back.

"Peach, what are you doing?" Zelda shouted.

"Look, he doesn't even need reins," Peach giggled as the creature walked around in a circle as she directed it. "I'll drive."

"We're not riding that thing and that's final," Zelda said sternly.

"It's no problem for me if you'd rather walk," Peach said in a singsong voice. "…Or swim."

"And you know who's in the water," Malon reminded her. "Zoras won't mess with him since he can breathe fire."

"No one's taking the Dodongo," Zelda said. "I don't even know why you have one here."

"That's a funny story actually," Malon said thoughtfully. "Two Gerudos and a Hylian walk into the bar and…"

"No, no, no!" Zelda said, interrupting her. "It's not coming."

"But Zelda," Peach began.

"But nothing. Who's the oldest here?"

"By the tiniest bit!" Malon shot back.

"It still makes me older," Zelda said matter-of-factly.

"How old are you?" Peach asked.

"Seventeen," Zelda smiled, wiping her hair back elegantly. "What are you? Sixteen?"

A large, sneaky smile came onto Peach's face. "Actually, I'm twen…"

"Bye, Peach!" Malon waved at the entrance to the ranch. "Bye Zelda!"

"Wave goodbye, Zelda," Peach said, focusing ahead as they rode on the quickly moving Dodongo.

"Yes, ma'am…" Zelda muttered, still in disbelief that a person like Peach was older than her.