Author's Note: Hello everyone. Here's my attempt at a Juniper Lee fanfiction. The Life and Times of Juniper Lee is a Cartoon Network show by Judd Winick. The show features a very humorous presentation of many things in nerd culture. As a long time nerd myself, I hope to bring that same type of humor to my fanfiction.

I'm also a big proponent of fanfiction community, so if you want to chat, you can catch me at:

Email: kodra22 (at symbol) gmail (dot) com

AOL Instant Messenger: kodra22

Also, be sure to check out the Juniper Lee LiveJournal Community at being said, on with the story.

The Life and Time of Juniper Lee: Adventures in Petsitting

Chapter 1: Tarrasque

"Ah Mah, do I have to?" June whined as she held the phone to her ear. At first glance Juniper Lee was just another prepubescent female, who's only worries were whether or not she could go out with her friends on Friday and whether or not she had a date for the upcoming dance.

These casual observations couldn't be more off mark. Juniper Lee was a young girl burdened with the responsibility of balancing the worlds of humanity and magic. Sometimes that meant beating up some unruly monsters, other times it meant attending a magical convention. In this case, it meant pet sitting.

Her grandmother spoke with an authoritative tone. "Juniper, you are the Ter Shwan Zed. Madam Zostra is a very important member of the magical community, and she occasionally needs leave Orchid Bay to attend to very important matters. All the protectors before you took care of her Tair-a-skwee, and now the responsibility has fallen to you."

June hung her head down and slumped her shoulders. She let out an exasperated sigh before continuing her argument. "But Ah Mah, I have this big art project due this week, and if I don't get a free night to go to the park, I'm sunk for that class!"

"Oh, don't worry about it June. You can take Champ there with you. He loves the park." Ah Mah leaned back in her rocking chair and took a sip from her tea.

"But, well, it's just that I'm working with someone else on this project so I really can't keep track of some mystical mutt without him finding out." June bit her lip after she said that, knowing she'd let the cat out of the bag.

Ah Mah smirked lightly as she relaxed. She remembered what it was like being her age. She did feel a little bad about taking these moments from her granddaughter, but the responsibilities she bore were important. "Him? What's his name June? Don't worry you can tell your Ah Mah."

June blushed at her grandma's comments. "Ah Mah! It's not like that! Marcus is a friend, and we got partnered up for this project. Listen, I just don't want to risk it, ok?"

Ah Mah smiled as she sipped at her tea. "Listen, just take Monroe with you. He'll look after Champ while you and Marcus get some time alone. Everything will work out fine."

"Ah Mah!" June cried out in exasperation. She laid down on her bed and rubbed her temples. She loved her grandmother dearly, but there were times she could give her the biggest of headaches.

"Now don't worry about it June. Champ may seem a bit intimidating but inside he's just a big softy. Madam Zostra will drop him by in two days, and Monroe will help you take care of him. Have a nice day dear."

June sighed lightly. "Yeah, you have a nice day too Ah Mah."

"Oh cheer up June. I'm sure your date will be absolutely wonderful."

"Ah Mah, it's not a…" June was cut off as her grandmother hung up the phone. "…date." June closed her phone and slid it into her pocket. She closed her eyes as she relaxed on her bed. A smile crept across her lips; the bed felt exceedingly good as her sore muscles began to relax. She already had to deal with a couple of fish people who had "lay claim" to the harbor area of orchid bay, and a bunch of annoying little punk gnomes who were encroaching on the fix-it elves home. And that was just this week. She deserved a bit of a break, and now she had this to deal with. She sighed as reality drawing her out of her little break. She hopped off of her bed and exited her room, looking for her mangy advisor. "Stupid fregging Tair-a-skwee," she mumbled as she made her way downstairs.

Dennis was on the couch playing video games when he heard Juniper's mumblings. He quickly paused the game, and turned around to stare down his little sister through narrowed eyes. "June! Have you been messing with my miniatures?"

June rolled her eyes and gave him a neutral stare. "No Dennis, I haven't played with your dolls. Something about a padlock being in the way since you're so concerned your 'babies' will get damaged."

His face contorted into a sneer as he faced his sister. "First off, they aren't dolls. They're miniatures. They're used to wage intriguing and complex wars, and to represent characters of epic conflicts. And secondly, I heard you mention the Tair-as-skew, my prize miniature."

Juniper looked a bit confused when the realization dawned on her. There must be stories of the Tarrasque in one of Dennis' dorky games. "No no Dennis. I said, uh, Terrace Kwee. It's a place downtown. Ah Mah was asking about it." Her voice shifted from that of convincing, back to feigned indifference. "Why, what's a Tair-a-skwee?"

Dennis had a suspicious look on his face. It wasn't very often that June took an interest in his Dungeons and Dragons. "First off, it's a Tair-a-skew, not a Tair-as-skwee. Second off, it's the most ferocious of all beasts. It is the size of a warehouse, with huge massive claws, a fearsome maw, and an impenetrable hide. He resists even the strongest of magics. It generally takes like a party of rich epic level characters to even weaken him. He reflects rays back at you when you cast them at him."

He was about to carry on before June interrupted him. "You lost me when you started talking nerdese, and quite frankly, at that point, I lost interest." She turned to find Monroe. "Dork."

Juniper found Monroe in her little brother's room, lying at the foot of the bed reading a book of some sort. "Monroe, am I glad I found you. I need some info on this Tair-as-skwee thing. Like weaknesses, strategies, how to generally keep it from wrecking the whole place."

Monroe looked up at her with a frustrated look. "Ah no. Don't tell me that overgrown mutt is staying with us. Listen, just make sure you keep the supply of food well in stock or that mongrel will eat us out of house and home. And before you ask, I'm not sharing any space with him. I got roped into sleeping with him last time and I swore never again." Monroe went back to his book. June sighed, this was going to be a long week.

June, Ophelia, Judy, and Roger all sat at their lunch table, chatting amongst each other while they ate their lunch. The crew was discussing their plans for the upcoming weekend. "We've got this huge cheerleading competition coming up tomorrow. I'm so excited about it! Our routine is awesome! You guys should totally come!" Judy was an odd one indeed. She was one of the best cheerleaders in the school, incredibly smart, and one of the prettier girls in school. She was everything the most popular girl in school should be, but instead she was on of the outcasts. She didn't care about popularity, all she cared about was being herself, and that made her a lot of enemies with the more popular girls.

"Gee Judy, that sounds like an absolute blast. If I could find a way to fit it in between my root canal and spending time with Roger, it'd be the perfect day." Ophelia's tastes were the polar opposites of everything Judy liked. She liked angsty rock music, and rallying against the mainstream. That didn't stop them from being best friends though.

"Whoa, we're spending time together Ophelia?" Roger was the class clown. He'd do just about anything to illicit a few chuckles from his friend. His antics often grated on Ophelia's nerves though, and there was a fair deal of tension between the two.

"No Roger, it was between you and death by paper cuts, and somehow you managed to be more painful." Ophelia explained in her monotone voice.

"Aw, that's cold Ophelia. Cold." Roger grinned lightly as he leaned back in his seat. Just when it looked like he was about to fall over, he pulled himself back up. "Where is the competition Judy? If its close by I might tag along."

Judy perked up at the thought. "Really? That'd be great Roger. It's being hosted at Orchid Bay High. I'd love to see you there."

"Miss the opportunity to watch all the cute girls do their cheers? I wouldn't think of it." Roger grinned lightly. Ophelia and June rolled their eyes at him. None of the group noticed as a dark skinned boy made his way towards the table.

"Hey June, how's it going?" Marcus asked in his laid back tone. Marcus Carsner was an enigma in the rigid social structure that existed at their middle school. He was definitely a popular kid, maybe even the popular kid. He was their star wide receiver on the football team, and his cool laid back attitude helped him to fit in with the other popular kids, not to mention his good looks and natural charm warranted him the crushes of almost every girl in school. Yet he still wasn't above coming by and spending some time with the class outcasts, which was the factor that fueled the crush the young heroine had on him.

"Oh, h-hey Marcus. Didn't see you there. Umm, I'm uh doing great. Yeah, couldn't be better. H-how about you?" June nervously replied. Her ability to express her feelings to him weren't exactly top notch. For that matter, her ability to express basic thoughts to him weren't all that sharp either. Her calm cool exterior evaporated in his presence, leaving her an embarrassed, skittish schoolgirl.

"Oh I'm fine. I've just been getting ready for the game later today. I was wondering if you were free this Sunday?" June's eyes widened as he spoke. She felt her heart welling up in throat. She felt her cheeks burning slightly from her blush. "Is he going to ask me out?" she thought excitedly. "I was hoping to get some work done on our art project."

With that, her heart slumped back down into its original place, and it's pace slowed back to normal. Her face bore a neutral expression, trying to hide her dissatisfaction with his reason for seeing her. She finally managed a small smile. "Yeah Marcus, that should be fine. What time will work for you?"

He shrugged his shoulders lightly. He didn't seem to really care one way or another on anything. "I don't know, how does three o'clock sound?"

June's smile broadened as the sting of rejection eased. "Sounds great Marcus." She had to bite her tongue to keep from saying, 'It's a date'. "Where should we meet?"

"I'll stop by your place June. It's on the way to the park." Marcus flashed her one of his heart melting smiles. June nodded entranced by him.

"Sounds great Marcus. I'll see you then." Marcus nodded slightly as he walked away. June relaxed her body once he was out of view. She noticed her three friends holding their hands over their mouths trying hard to hold in their laughter. June gave them a questioning look. "What?"

The three of them couldn't resist any longer, and they bent over as they began to laugh uncontrollably. Juniper sighed as her face resumed its bored neutral expression. She didn't really feel like being the object of ridicule, but at this point, it didn't look like she had much choice.

Roger stopped laughing enough to insert his own reply. He spoke in a falsetto sing-song voice. "Oh Marcus, of course I'd like to spend time with you. Why don't we do our art project, that way if we get tired we can-,"

"Unless you want to eat that lunch through a straw, I'd suggest you consider you're next words carefully," June threatened with a clenched fist. Roger grinned mischievously but remained silent. He'd gotten his point across.

Judy decided to cut in. "Y'know June, you should try out for the cheerleaders. You're really athletic, so you could pick up the chance moves easily, plus you'd get to spend more time with your crush, and you'd be doing so in a cute mini skirt." Judy giggled lightly at the thought.

June sighed and rolled her eyes. "Guys, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have a crush on Marcus. He, uhhh, just surprised me. That's why I was flustered. My mind wasn't on the project when he came by."

Ophelia burst out laughing. "Oh June! We know your mind wasn't on the project." She chuckled at her friends embarrassment.

Blood rushed to her cheeks as she looked away. "That's not what I meant Ophelia! I was just thinking about all I had to do this weekend. I completely forgot about the art project with Marcus."

Ophelia chuckled as she smartly remarked. "Yeah right, and Roger isn't a total dweeb."

"I'm not? Rock on!" Roger smiled brightly at the admission.

It was Ophelia's turn to roll her eyes. "No Roger, again, I'm using the universal truth that you are a loser to prove a point," she paused for a second before adding on a final insult to her statement. "Dork."

"Harsh Ophelia, harsh." June kept quiet. She was glad that the spotlight was once again off of her and on Roger. She let out a sigh of relief and quickly finished her lunch. She had almost forgotten that she had to get ready to take care of this mystical behemoth once she got home from school. She just hoped she was up to the challenge.

Juniper was riding her bike up the drive when she noticed a short, plump elderly woman with thick glasses and white hair done up in a bun. She was wearing a frumpy black dress and was supporting herself on a broom. She turned her wrinkled face towards June and smiled. "You must be Juniper Lee, the Te Xuan Ze. I'm Madam Zostra."

Juniper looked around quickly to make sure no one would see her talking to the magical being. "Yeah, I'm the Ter Shwan Zed." She looked around for the massive beast she was going to be taking care of. "Uh, where is the big guy?"

Madam Zostra quickly stepped to the side, revealing a small orange creature. It had two horns where one would expect eyes, and was completely covered with its carapace. Its mouth hung open revealing a row of sharp teeth along with its massive tongue with was hanging out of the side of its mouth as it panted. Juniper paused for a second as she looked at the diminutive beast, before pointing down at the creature. "That's the Tair-a-skwee? Isn't it a little...small?"

"Hoo hoo no. He's a good size Tarrasque. Now," she handed June a pouch of coins. "This should be enough to keep him well fed, as well as a little extra for you. He eats about ten baguano steaks a day, but as long as you keep him well fed, he should be happy."

About this time Monroe stepped outside to see what was going on. "June, are you there? Ray Ray was been dabbling around in your room again and I'm worried that..." He paused as soon as he saw the small magical beast that was now bounding headlong towards him. Champ bowled the small pug over and began to furiously lick at his face with large tongue. "Ah, for pity's sake. Get offa me ye overgrown mongrel. Ack! June help!"

June and Madam Zostra both let out a small giggle at the scene. Madam Zostra finally spoke in a firm voice. "Champ! Leave poor Monroe alone. You two have all week to be together." Juniper continued to giggle as the creature bounded off of Monroe, standing close to the Scottish dog. Monroe got himself on all fours and shook the slobber off of his face.

"This is why I am not sharing my room with that beast! Augh!" Juniper laughed lightly. This could end up being more fun than she first thought.

"Now deary, all the supplies you're going to need are in this bag." The elderly witch handed June a small hand bag. June looked at the bag curiously. "It's a doggy bag of holding dear. Don't worry, I triple checked it to make sure it has everything it needs. Now I must be off. I'm sure you'll do a wonderful job sweetie. Ta-ta!" With that she straddled her broom and flew off. June looked down at the dog-like creature sitting obediently at her heel, then down to the two bags she was now holding. To any normal girl this would be extremely bizarre, but this type of thing was becoming extremely routine for Juniper. "C'mon Champ, let's go get you set up in the house. Later you and Monroe can play together."

"Have a heart June. Last time I had to entertain this mongrel, I ended up with so much slobber in my fur that I couldn't take a step without sticking to the ground. Ack, it was horrible." June chuckled lightly as she walked into the house, her two pets following close behind.

Jarvis, the leader of the two monsters that tried to steal the Batoot sat at the bar, sipping lightly at his ale. He looked up to see George, his partner, walk in to the establishment. He raised his glass to greet his friend. "Yo, dude! Over here man."

George made his way over to the bar slowly. He took a seat next to his friend. "Dude, it's good to see your totally rockin' again."

"Sha, I mean, I was hurtin' somethin' fierce, but the doc man says I'm all good now."

"Bitchin' man. I was pretty thrashed after that fight with the Te Xuan Ze too. It's good to be back in commission."

"Totally dude. We know better now, I ain't messing with that little Asian chickie ever again."

"Totally dude." There was a second of pause in the conversation.

"Dude, I totally heard that Juniper Lee, the Te Xuan Ze, totally is looking after the Tarrasque."

"Sweet dude. We should totally steal that."

"Sha, we totally should."

"Righteous."

To Be Continued...

Authors Note: Reviews are great, and the only thing better than receiving a review is receiving a critical review. If you have read this chapter, please leave me a note, and if there is anything you didn't think was quite right, please don't hesitate to mention it. Thanks for reading.

Kodra