Olivia's eyes rolled back up in her head. If Annie hadn't have pulled Trey from her arms. He would have fallen to the floor of the mission with her. But instead, Annie shoved him into Sean's arms where he was safe. Gregory spared a glance to the little boy for a moment, but he couldn't keep his eyes away. He was closest to her, barely more than a foot away. They hadn't spoken. She'd met his eyes once. She looked tired.
Guilt welled up when he looked at her, exploding into a flash of pain when she fainted. She wasn't as strong as he was. Olivia couldn't lock everything away. Her guilt and despair were still bleeding. Still fresh.
He caught her head, kept it safe from the hard marble floor. AJ was getting a glass of water. Annie was complaining about how fragile Olivia was. How unstable she was ever since they'd lost the baby. He ignored it. He stroked the hair out of her eyes and worried that her forehead was cold. Was it supposed to be cold?
Gregory chastised himself for even worrying about her. He shouldn't be worried about her. But would she even want him too? From what she'd said to Bette in the hallway, she hated him. She hated them both.
Olivia moaned, moving her head slightly. He cupped her cheek, holding her head still. "Don't move. Don't move Liv." The whispered nickname was an afterthought. He almost hoped she wouldn't hear it.
"My baby..." Her eyelashes fluttered, especially dark over the pale cast of her cheek. "My baby..."
"Shhh- It's all right. You're safe now. You're safe."
She didn't pull away from him. Even when her eyes started to open, she didn't pull away.
"Hey." Gregory began softly. "How're you doing?"
She sat up. AJ caught her shoulders this time when she was too abrupt to move. For a moment their eyes met. He would have given anything to just be able to keep the moment. That perfect moment of silent understanding. It went beyond hatred. She couldn't hate him. If she could, she would have already. It would have happened years and years ago.
"I just need a moment." She pulled away from AJ, put up her hands in defense. "I'm fine. I just-" Olivia bit her lip and looked to Gregory, surprising him as her eyes sought his for succor.
"Let her go." He ordered with the quiet control that had won him so many cases. Caitlin looked upset as Cole rubbed her back. Trey seemed calmer in Sean's arms, the momentary upset of the water on his head was forgotten. "She'll be all right."
Bette snuck closer, taking his hand and adding her support. "What was it?"
Gregory shrugged and reached for his forehead as if messing up his hair would straighten his mind. "Hell if I know."
She clucked her tongue and put her finger over his lips. "You're going to be struck by lightning if you keep talking like that in the house of God."
He leaned in closer, trying to decide if he preferred this shade of lipstick to last. Darker was better, he noted as he squeezed her hand. "If I didn't get struck coming in, God isn't watching today." He sank into the pew for a moment and looked over his shoulder.
AJ didn't wait. He immediately started to follow her even as she headed for the women's bathroom.
"Do you think he'll get through to her?" Bette wondered aloud as she sank down next to him. Her heavy sigh argued in the negative.
"He won't." He shouldn't talk to her. What could AJ possibly have to say to Olivia? How could he understand? The only child AJ seemed to have acknowledged, he wasn't sure how many went unclaimed, was Cole, and it was obvious how Cole had turned out. Gregory left Bette without an explanation. She rested her hand on the back of the pew and her head over her hand.
He loved Olivia. He would always love her. A few quick steps he was only a second behind AJ.
"Come on suave, just let him go. God knows they have enough to talk about without you insinuating yourself in there." She tapped her fingers on the top of the pew, ignoring the funny look Cole gave her as it echoed through the church.
"Come on-" She hoped again, watching as Gregory took AJ's arm and stopped him from barging into the women's bathroom.
Sean joined her on the pew. "What do you think they're talking about?"
"What else cutie?" She tilted her head to the side and stared down at her wedding ring. Bette lifted her chin and managed a smile. "Your mother and why they're both exactly what she needs." Reaching for Trey's soft little cheek, she wrinkled her nose at him and earned a baby smile. "And they are, in a way. AJ's not asking anything of her." She inclined her head back towards the two men staring each other down on the other side of the room. "That's what he just said. He's not trying to force her to change how she feels, like Gregory is."
Sean raised an eyebrow in a surprising imitation of his father. "How can you tell?"
"Years of practice," She tapped his shoulder playfully held out her hands for Trey. "After all-" She bounced the little boy on her knee and kept her eyes on AJ's face. "They don't call me the queen of the night for nothing."
"Now what are they saying?" He prodded with a trace of disbelief. "If you really can tell."
"AJ says that Gregory's just trying to control her, like he always has. Gregory said something that pissed AJ off, but if your father doesn't turn around, I won't be able tell what he's saying." Trey dug a baby fist into Bette's hair and nearly pulled out a handful. She winced and reached up to de-tangle him.
"Too bad they just can't shout at each other." Sean offered with mild amusement. "It would make it a lot easier."
Bette grinned and turned Trey around so he could stick both hands into her hair because he seemed so intrigued by it. "They're certainly spending a lot of effort on it. I think they're both trying not to upset poor Livie any further."
Her hands were too full of the baby to cover her giggling when Olivia slipped past both of the arguing men and disappeared into the darkness on the other end of the church.
Even Sean looked slightly relieved. "Maybe she won't have to deal with either of them."
"Gregory will figure it out." Bette offered as she turned away. She looked into Trey's big blue eyes raised her voice to a playful register. "Won't he little man? Yes he will. Yes he will."
The darkness of the confessional was comforting after the harsh light of the bathroom. It even muffled the sound of Gregory and AJ arguing a few feet away. Finally, mercifully they stopped. Someone walked back towards the others and Olivia let the voices fade away. They didn't matter.
Trey was her son. She remembered every horrible moment of Annie ripping him from her arms in the cabin. Trey was hers. Hers and Gregory's. He had to be, no matter what Annie said. No matter what terror she couldn't shake off that he was Cole's son.
She dropped her head into her hands and let the horrible day pass by without her. She could just stay here, in the darkness and wait for it all to go away. Olivia knew she couldn't go out there. She couldn't look at her baby boy in Caitlin's arms and know how wrong it was that he was there. How desperately wrong it all was because she was trapped. More trapped than she had been in her amnesia. More trapped than she even had been back in that cabin so many dreadful months ago.
Her head was too heavy to stay up on its own and on top of that it was still spinning. Why was this happening now? Why was this happening at all? What on earth had she done to possibly deserve this chaos?
The door on the other side opened and shut with a dull click. Someone settled into the pew next to her on the other side of the grating and waited patiently. Who'd seen her go in? Olivia was nearly certain no one had noticed her escape from the bathroom. So she waited. Maybe it was another hallucination. Another fantasy of Gregory that would leave her heart naked and terrified to be alone once more.
"You shouldn't blame Bette." Gregory began as Olivia sat up quickly in surprise. Her head protested and she breathed in quickly to steady herself. "I asked her. I planted the idea in her head, I drew up the papers."
She leaned back against the back of the confessional, letting her eyes shut against the darkness. "I know."
"She misses you." He continued softly, nearly as gentle as he had been when she woke up with her head in his lap. "More than she lets on, even to me I think."
Without her permission, her hand moved to the wall of the confessional. He was close enough to touch. Remove the wall between him and she could collapse into his arms. Confess her terrible secret and let him take her burden from her shoulders. He could carry the weight she couldn't. He'd know what to do.
"I don't want to fight with her." Olivia admitted as her voice threatened to crack under the strain.
The grating was cold beneath his fingers as he reached towards her. Gregory couldn't help picturing her face. The tears threatening her eyelashes, the strain tight in her mouth. If he could touch her he could take it away, but she was miles beyond the other wall of the confessional. Whatever secrets she was hiding, Olivia intended to keep.
"Then don't." He imagined his thumb ran along the line of her cheekbone and chased a tear away. He could nearly feel it drying on his hand. "She was your friend before we were-" Gregory couldn't find a word. "Before we were us. I think you should keep her around. She has a lot of redeeming, even endearing qualities. If you need to hate someone-"
Olivia took a deep breath and pictured his hands in his lap as he went silent. She missed his hands. The warmth and strength, but most of all the kindness of them. "I don't." She stood up. He caught a glimpse of her, just the perfect line of her back and the back of her thigh before the door to the confessional clicked shut.
He closed his eyes, listening to her footsteps fading into the oppressive silence of the church. "Of course you don't Liv. You've always been better than me that way."