Disclaimer still as before. I don't own the story or the characters of the Silmarillion and nothing is being earned out of its use, just my enjoyment. Any new characters and the story of Caranaear belong to me.

Authors note: Again I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. This chapter has not been revised by a beta. Soothing burn I just wanted to thank you for your review it does inspire me to write :-) and I will try to update as fast as I can.

Chapter 3 - What now?

Echoing footsteps were the only sound that could be heard as Maedhros made his way down the vast hall. His usually strong side was rather unhurried as though his legs were slowly dragging him to a place that he did not wish to go. Though his handsome face was set with worry, his blue eyes were bright and shining. He was a walking contradiction.

The high that he experienced upon hearing the news of his daughter's birth had slowly been replaced by trepidation with each step that drew him closer to his wife and daughter. His emotions at the moments were rather raw from experiencing so many feelings in one day. It was amazing to him that one could feel so much at once. That each emotion in itself was strong, but to carry them all at once was exhausting.

He did not fear seeing his daughter; he rather was overjoyed at the thought. It was seeing Elrilma that stirred his heart with anxiety, for he was uncertain what to say. His anger at her had not lessened as the hours had passed, if anything it was reinforced by his feeling of betrayal that was pushing its way into his heart.

He fisted his hands at his side as he walked and shook his head to clear his thoughts. He fought to find his control. Maedhros knew that now was not the time to confront her, but he knew that there was never going to be a good time.

He chuckled bitterly to himself. That is exactly what she had told him before he had left this morning with Celebrimbor, but all he understood was his anger.

Flashback

Maedhros walked onto the balcony and stretched his strong arms into the air and yawned. His eyes inspected the new morning with contentment. The morning light glimmered merrily on the white railing warming the stone with its caress.

Sitting on a gray bench with her back to him, Elrilma sat in silence as a gentle breeze blew her silver strands softly about her.

Not noticing she had an audience her green eyes gazed towards the west where her home rested on the shore of the sea.

Rubbing her swollen belly contently, she dreamed. She closed her eyes reverently as she imagined the morning light gleaming on the bright blue waters, shimmering with a silver accent. She could lightly hear the call of the gulls as they flew overhead and she could faintly smell the salt of the ocean as the wind blew across her fair face. By the Valar how she missed her family. Breathing deeply in concentration she did not notice Maedhros behind her.

He stood by her and reached out to caress her neck. Maedhros felt her flinch with surprise.

Elrilma quickly turned around and her eyes lifted up to meet his face and she smiled warmly. "Good morning my love," she greeted as she reached out to take his hand.

Entwining his fingers with hers, Maedhros bent down slightly and kissed her lips softly in welcome. "Good morning," he said against her lips.

Standing tall he gently tugged her hand to pull her up as she struggled to stand with her protruding belly. She smiled and held tight to him as she gained her balance.

Maedhros wrapped one arm around her protectively. "Come let us eat," he suggested,
"the servants have brought fruit onto the balcony so we may enjoy the morning."

She nodded in agreement as he led her to the white table that was littered with colorful fruits. With out a word she sat and reached for an orange and began peeling the skin.

Maedhros watched her with a half smile upon his face. "What were you thinking on Elrilma," he asked as he reached for an apple.

"Just how tired I am," she answered trying to keep her voice from shaking.

Maedhros not convinced of her reply leaned forward on the table and looked straight into her eyes. "That you may be," he said, "but something else in on your mind."

Seeing the determination in his blue eyes, Elrilma had to think of something other than her homesickness. She sighed, "I'm just a little worried about the birth." She turned her eyes back to the west.

Maedhros noticed the direction her eyes focused upon. He reached for her hands across the table and held them lovingly.

"There is nothing to fear. All will be well."

She looked back at him and smiled weakly. "Aye, that I know, but still," she whispered faintly.

He caressed his large thumbs over the top of her hands in comfort. "You will have an easy time dear one. We have the finest healers and I will be there with you," he reassured her.

She pulled her hands away from his slowly and sat tall. "There will be no need for that."

Puzzled, Maedhros stared at her. "What do you mean?"

"Your presence will not be needed."

"Is that a command or a suggestion," he inquired as his eyes glared at her coldly.

She sat back against the chair wearily. "This is a request. I would be most comfortable without you there. I do not mean it as an insult. I just do not want you to see me in such pain Maedhros. I do not wish for you to feel guilty for my discomfort. Many elleth's prefer it this way and I am one of them."

Annoyed and offended, his temper was getting the best of him. Maedhros stoop abruptly sliding his chair away angrily. "I do respect what you wish my lady," he said formally,
"but this is something that I intend to be apart of."

He walked away from her and stood facing the railing, his red hair blowing wild as the east wind grew stronger.

Pushing herself up awkwardly from the chair, she carefully went to Maedhros and cautiously wrapped her arms around him from behind and rested her face against his broad back. She could feel his muscles tighten from her touch.

"Maedhros please," she pleaded, "I do not wish to fight with you, not now. I very tired,
let us discuss this later."

Turning in her arms his face was gloomy like a drizzle cloud. He nonetheless put his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace.

"Time is getting away from us, " he warned his breath warm against her ear.

Moving from his hold Elrilma stood on her toes and kissed his lips lightly. "There is time,
but for now I must rest. We will discuss this later, but for now I am confident that Celebrimbor awaits his lesson."

Putting both hands on each side of her face, he brought her closer and nuzzled her nose with his. She laughed softly and wrinkled her nose to ward off the tickle that continued to twitch.

"Until tonight than," he said, a faint smile upon his lips as he pulled away.

Maedhros walked through the arched doors and left her alone.

Once he was gone, Elrilma's smile faded as she hugged herself. Though she loved Maedhros fiercely, she had hated this place even more. She squinted her eyes against the white walls of the fortress of Formenos, her self proclaimed prison.

Longingly she looked west and her eyes blurred as she thought of what laid beyond the walls. A small tear escaped and ran slowly down her pale cheek. She wiped it away and sniffed back the other tears that were threatening to fall. She rubbed her stomach lovingly.
"Soon my heart we will be home, " she thought sadly.

Unexpectedly a blazing pain shot through her stomach. Elrilma grasped for the railing for support as she doubled over in pain. "It's time, It's time," her mind screamed.

Leaning against the stone balcony she waited for the pain to ease. Looking over the railing she saw the large silver gate open as a rider with red hair accompanied by a dark haired lad rode out of the fortress.

Making her way to the door, she shut her eyes in pain as she walked slowly through the archway. "There's no time," she whimpered to herself. She realized as she made her way through the hall that Maedhros would never understand her choice. Her hands trembled as she inched herself from one pillar to another.

A dark hair servant named Giliel noticed her slow approach. Quickly setting down the tray she carried, she rushed to Elrilma's side. "My lady," she cried.

Elrilma let go of the pillar and grabbed the young elleth for support. "Giliel I must get to my chamber, please help me."

It happened that Giliel's cry had caught the attention of another servant. "My lady what can I do?" he asked as he ran towards them, "should I send for Lord Maedhros?"

Elrilma grunted in pain again, "yes, send Thalion quickly and find Maglor. Tell him to keep Maedhros with him."

"But my lady?" the servant hesitated.

"Just do it," she ordered roughly as the pain became worse. She gripped Giliel harder and panted as her heart raced, "There's not time for Maedhros Giliel, the child is coming!"

End of flash back

Maedhros had finally reached the dark wooden door to his chamber. He sighed nervously. With a deep breathe he slowly opened the heavy door and peaked into the large room.

Gaining more courage as the door opened fully, he entered and looked around the chamber till his eyes rested on a tall elleth who leaned over the bed.

Noticing Maedhros, the elleth turned her gray eyes to him and stood tall. "Lord Maedhros," she greeted quietly.

Recognizing her as Elaneth the head healer of Formenos, Maedhros nodded his head in greeting. "Lady Elaneth, how fairs my wife and child?" he asked as he moved closer to the bed.

"Both are well my lord, though your wife needs plenty of rest," she replied as she gently laid her hand on Elrilma's forehead to check her temperature.

"I am relieved to hear that. I am indebted to you for your services for my family Lady Elaneth." He reached out to grasp her free hand in thanks.

"That is not necessary my lord, though you are most welcome," she said.

Maedhros smiled at her, "but you have it all the same."

"If you have any questions or concern please send for me," she informed him. She patted his hand reassuringly and proceeded to walk to the door, leaving Maedhros alone with his wife.

"My lady," he called quietly to her retreating form.

She turned to him. "Yes my lord."

"Where have they taken our daughter?"

"The child is next door. That room is much warmer for her," she exclaimed.

He nodded in acknowledgement. "Again my many thanks for everything," he said as he turned his attention to his wife who slept deeply.

"You are most welcome," Elaneth replied as she opened the door and left the room.

Dusk was slowly setting over the white walls of Formenos. Its once pale exterior was now colored with hues of pink and orange as the light leisurely retreated from the sky.

That same pastel glow filtered through the frosted glass onto Maedhros face as he stood looking out of the window. Everything seemed to be bathed in the pink light including the fair face of his wife.

Maedhros looked back to his sleeping wife and walked to the bed to sit at her side. He watched her tenderly as she breathed deeply. These were the rare moments that would be forever burned into his memory. It was the warmth and stillness that made time stand still for him as his stared at her.

Maedhros just sat still looking at her delicate features, which were framed by her long silver hair. The evidence of her struggle was present as small strands were plastered to her once sweaty brow.

The light had almost gone from the sky when he slowly reached his hand and lovingly caressed the side of her face. As if relishing in his warmth, Elrilma turned her face even more into his palm and sighed deeply. He stroked his thumb over her cheek in comfort and watched her lips open slightly as she took a deep breath.

Her beauty always astounded him and her lips always bewitched him, with either her sweet voice or her tender kisses. No matter what fell words might ever escape from those pink lips, he would always love her. There was no doubt of that and even though his hurt ran deep, he doubted his heart would ever be able to sever the chain that bound him to her and his love was something his pride nor his father would ever be unable to undo.

Elrilma shifted slightly and opened her green eyes and winced from discomfort. She glanced around the room until her eyes focused on Maedhros. Somewhat anxious by his nearness she stirred her body trying to push herself upright.

Maedhros gently pushed on her shoulders to lay her back down. "Do not try to sit up Elrilma. Lady Elaneth has ordered you to rest," he warned.

Defeated from exhaustion she conceded and eased herself back onto the pillow, her eyes never leaving Maedhros'.

Confident that she laid peacefully, he eased himself back onto the edge of the bed to sit near her. He waited for her to speak.

"Have you seen our daughter," she asked tensely.

"Nay I have not for I wanted to see you first."

Not wanting to meet his gaze, Elrilma looked at the doors that went into the adjoining room. "Morthil," she explained, "has put her in the room adjoining ours."

He could sense her uneasiness and he knew it was because of him. "So I have been told"
he said as he reached for her hand to calm her anxiety.

Not knowing what he intended Elrilma flinched her hand away.

"So it has come to this?" he asked bitterly.

She hesitantly looked up to him and his once tender face was now cold with indifference,
his pride had finally won. Not surprised by his hard eyes she glared back at him.

"Why are you really here Maedhros?" she asked sharply.

As if stabbed in the gut by her words, Maedhros stood quickly and scowled at her. "What a question to ask my dear," he sneered, "I did not think that I had to have a reason to see you my lady wife, but it appears that I must."

Not saying a word Elrilma just watched him as he paced for a second and returned to her side. "I am here my lady to verify that you are well, though I am sure that I could have relied on the word of the healers or servants." His faced frowned even more. "I felt it was my duty to see for myself that you and my daughter were well, but forget about duty," he waved his hand in the air and spat angrily, "don't you think I should see you now since I wasn't here for the birth?"

Taken aback by his forceful words Elrilma turned her face away and closed her eyes with regret. She knew he would be angry by not being by her side, but never did she think that he would be so wounded.

Even more agitated by her silence, Maedhros approached her again and glared at her,
"what say you to my charge, wife!"

Gaining a small amount of courage she turned to him. "How does it feel to be denied something you long for," she demanded.

"What is it you desire that I have so long have denied you? I have given you everything I possibly could."

Her anger finally matched his and she raised herself up on her elbows."No," she said as she shook her head, "you have not given me my hearts desire. My dearest wish is to return to Alqualonde and for years it has been denied to me."

His face blank, Maedhros said nothing and walked away from the bed.

"Well?" Elrilma inquired to his back.

He turned to her as he opened the door. "I am going to see my daughter and this conversation is over," he answered. He walked through the door and closed it behind him.

Elrilma stared at the closed door as tears fell down both cheeks. "Valar, hear me," she prayed, "help me, help my family!" She laid back down and cried softly, for in her heart she was sure she was losing her husband.

Maedhros leaned against the door and closed his eyes in frustration. His encounter with Elrilma did not go as he wanted. He rubbed his hand over his face, "damn my temper," he thought coldly.

He pushed himself away from the door and walked across the room to the small crib that sat near the fireplace. He approached the small bundle as quiet as he could.

He smiled as he looked down upon his small daughter. He was a father and with this came great responsibility. One of his greatest fears was failure and somehow he was panicked at the thought of failing this small treasure. His own troubled relationship with his own father only inspired him to fight harder. He would not fail her, that was his promise to her and himself.

Wrapped in a blue blanket his daughter laid sleeping soundly as her father stared at her. Maedhros reached out and brought her into his arms. He kissed her soft head of hair and smiled as he thought she smelt like vanilla.

"You are no doubt my daughter," he chucked to himself. Like her father, the child had inherited the red hair of her grandmother Nerdanel, a trait that few Possessed.

Gently cradling her, Maedhros heard the door behind him open, thinking maybe it was Elrilma, he glanced over his shoulder to see that it was not her, but his father Feanor.

He walked to his son, his face blank and his eyes dark. He spoke no words as he gazed upon the innocent wrapped bundle in Maedhros' arms. All he could see of her was a tuft of golden red hair.

Father and son's eyes locked and for the first time in many years a small smile escaped from Feanor's lips.

Astonished by his fathers smile, Maedhros sat motionless and awaited his father judgment.

"She will look like Nerdanel I think," Feanor predicted as he sat by his son, "let us hope she has not inherited her grandmothers temper as well."

Maedhros chucked in amusement. "Aye," he agreed," Let us hope she has taken more after Elrilma on temperament."

Without a reply, Feanor stood quickly and the smile that he once possessed was lost.

Maedhros sensed his fathers uneasiness and watched as he walked to the door.

Feanor stopped at the entrance and turned back to look at his son and the bundle in his arms. He hesitated as if wishing to speak, but without a word or acknowledgment he proceeded to leave and shut the door behind him.

Maedhros turned his attention back to his daughter and he observed her as she slept.

"May the valar keep our bond strong," he prayed as he picked up her small hand with his large on, "for you will always be my daughter."