Don´t own them, because if I did, Jess would still be on the show.

Thanks for your reviews. I appreciate them a lot! I can´t be believe I am actually on a fav. list. This is so amazing.

CoffeeJunkee06: No, they´re broken up, but they will end up together, i swear. It´s just not so easy considering some circumstances you don´t know yet :-) I am a tease, am i not ?

Rory´s POV:

I entered the apartment the morning after I got back from Stars Hollow. I was worn out, exhausted. I don´t know how many words there are for describing how incredibly tired I was.

I subconsciously hoped that Jess would be there, that I would come home and he would greet me with a kiss and breakfast. But who was I kidding ? definitely not me.

I looked around the apartment; everything seemed to be the same, but what did I expect ? He was still living here, everything in this room reminded me of him, of our past life together of our future that wouldn´t be ours anymore. It was either his future or mine. As I was scanning the bookshelves, my thoughts drifted away.

Flashback

" I thought you said you didn´t read much"

"well, what is much?"

"Goodnight, dodger."

"dodger?"

" figure it out"

" oliver twist"

Flashback end

I thought about that very encounter when I heard the bedroom door open. I didn´t dare to turn around, I was too afraid of the look on his face. Hurt, anger, love, passion….. hatred ? I wasn´t ready for the confrontation just yet. I tried my best to stay calm. Not giving away the fact that I was dying inside. I let my hands travel over the books, every single one I touched brought another memory back into my mind, memories I didn´t want to lose but on the same time I wished I could erase , because they hurt so much. He came closer, I smelled him. I would have recognized his scent out of a million of people, it was the scent I used to refer to as the Jess-scent, unique, safe and dangerous at the same time, daring and challenging. I stood still, not moving a muscle in my body, eyes fixed on the bookshelf, hands back in my pockets.

It was when he was finally so close I could hear his breathing, I allowed myself to turn around. I was met with his eyes, cold, indifferent, but I thought I saw anger and hurt as well. No hatred. I let out the breath I didn´t know I had been holding since I felt his presence.

When he opened his mouth to say something, I was prepared for the worst.

"Take it, after all it was taken the day we moved in, now take it with you the day, you ´re moving out."

I wasn´t prepared for this, not. At.all. His voice took my breath away and not in a good way might I add. It was cold, stone cold, indifferent, it lacked of everything I loved about him. No passion, no love, no caring. It hit me hard. I broke Jess Marianos´s heart. How much did I want to tell him, that I as well was breaking on the inside. He was starring right into my eyes, not blinking once. I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell, I wanted to punch him….I wanted him to yell at me ….. I wanted to love him and I wanted him to love me back. Mentally, physically. I looked down at the picture, tears welling up in my eyes, I swallowed hard, as if I wanted to swallow down all those emotions boiling inside of me. A frowning Jess was starring back at me from the picture, messed up hair, sweaty, but on the same time the sexiest he´d ever been. I focused on his eyes, full of emotion, happiness, love and bit annoyance as well, after all, he was still Jess the little punk. Then I made the mistake to look up, he was now starring at my hands holding the picture. I allowed myself to scan his facial features. His cheekbones, well defined. His forehead that was now covered by his hair. I travelled south and was starring at his lips. Oh god, a shaky sob escaped my mouth. I wouldn´t ever be able to kiss these lips again. And suddenly, I have no idea how I got my body to move, my mind was blank. If I had thought straight, I wouldn´t have done that. All I know that all of a sudden my mouth was on his. When I thought earlier, that his emotionless voice hurt, I had no idea how much it would hurt being pushed back by the man you love.

" Rory, what the hell..?" He was starring at me as if I was crazy. Maybe he was right. I was crazy.

He turned around, pacing up and down the living room the way he would always do it when he was nervous.

" You´ve got to be kidding me, rory!"

I just stood there, my hand on my lips where I have just felt his earlier.

" I´m sorry. I am so so sorry." I whispered.

" For what, rory ?" his voice was harsh. He came up to me looking straight in my eyes.

" for what rory ? for trying to kiss me although we´re broken up or are you sorry that you cheated on me? What it it, rory . 3…2…1….. BANG, your time is over. I now need to ask you to leave MY apartment."

" I need my clothes!" I need my clothes? I didn´t just say that! But although my mind screamed STOP, I continued.

" you know they are still in the closet in the bedroom!" I wasn´t ready to say "your" bedroom yet. It should be ours.

" go on in, it´s all yours.!" With that he grabbed a pair of jeans that fit him so well and a black sweater and turned towards the apartment door. He turned around again and said over his shoulder.

" and rory, you know what hurts the most is the fact that I didn´t even find out from you. You didn´t tell me, hell I mean you didn´t even try to explain! That fucking hurts Rory."

And suddenly all these emotions I missed earlier were visible in his face. Love, passion, anger, hurt, but still no hatred. He didn´t hate me. He let his guard down and I knew it would only be a matter of seconds and his face would go blank again. He opened the door, looked at me once more and left. The second I heard the door close, I collapsed on the bed, sobbing. I hugged his T-shirt and my heart was screaming. I love you, Jess. But my head was saying: You´re doing the right thing!

So, what do you think ? hate it, like it ? Reviews are always appreciated! Please!