Don´t own them!

You are so amazing! Thank you so much! Music4mysoul, u reviewed every single chapter, I feel so honoured.

Let me tell you, it was really hard to write this chapter. Really hard!

A month later

Rory´s POV.

I was sitting in my small apartment in London thinking about home. Funny enough I did not think about Stars Hollow, I was thinking about New York and yes about Jess. I always used to make fun of those people who would say: home is where your heart is, but right now I got the meaning and it wasn´t cheesy at all. I placed my hands carefully over my stomach as if I didn´t want to disturb the tiny human being growing inside of me. Yeah, I was pregnant. I got knocked up by a guy who wasn´t even my guy then. You heard right: then. As it turned out Steven was also sent to London. Steven, the name still left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. It didn´t sound right. Two syllables instead of one. Blond hair instead of dark brown. Blue eyes instead of brown. Yes, it wasn´t right at all. Now the question is why was I with him? I needed a father to my child. I grew up without mine, and it hurt. I knew the minute I found out I was pregnant that Jess would leave me. I didn´t even consider an abortion, I wasn´t raised that way, I wasn't raised to run from responsibility. After all, my mom got pregnant when she was 16. Boy, how did she deal with it then? I didn´t even knowbeing 25 if I was ready enough to be a mom. I made the right choice, I tried to convince myself everyday, that everything would be all right. But why was I having all these doubts? why was I still wondering if maybe if I had told Jess, we would have been able to work it out ? I couldn´t then and now ? it was too late. I looked around. The apartment was nice, huge windows, wooden floor, big kitchen, but one thing was missing. No, someone was missing. Jess. It didn´t pass one minute in my life that I didn´t think about him.

I talked to my mom everyday. She told me that Jess knew, she also told me that Jess had left the diner in a hurry and hadn´t come back until late the night. Drunk and looking like a ghost.

Oh God, I screwed up big time. I suppressed a sob while aloowing myself to drift off again.

Flashback

We were in Stars Hollow for the weekend. It had been snowing and I convinced Jess to take a walk through the first snow of the season. He protested but after seeing the disappointment in my eyes, he finally gave in. We were walking, arms wrapped around each other, the closest two people could walk without actually being the same person. I looked around amazed by the beauty of my home town.

" isn´t it beautiful?" I asked eagerly, squeezing his hand tightly.

" it sure is, Rory." He replied but I heard in his voice that he wasn´t really paying attention to my words.

I looked up at him and saw him starring at something in the distance. I followed his gaze and all of a sudden a warm feeling spread through me. He was looking at two boys, probably 2 or 3 years old, trying to build a snowman. I tightened my grip on his hand, feeling overwhelmed bythe intense expression on his face. I didn´t say a word. I just buried my head into his chest, breathing in his scent. Suddenly he stopped and pushed me away softly. I felt cold without him near me. He leaned down and whispered something in my ear. The breath caught in my throat. I felt like I was couldn´t breath anymore. I felt dizzy. He said it again.

" You know Rory, I think our kids will be able to do better. After all you're the snowman queen!" he smiled shyly, suddenly feeling embarrassed. All I could do was taking his head in my hands and kiss him hard. Full of promise. We stayed in each other's embrace for hours, at least it seemed to be for hours. When I finally pulled away I smirked.

" I bet they will. Or maybe they will just end up destroying the other kids´snowmen."

Flashback end

Suddenly I knew what I had to do. This was wrong. Totally wrong, one hundred percent wrong. It wasn´t supposed to end like this.at.all. I suddenly wanted to laugh out loud. I felt happy. I knew what I had to do. The least I could do was to try to win him back. The least I could do… but once I thought about it, I sobered. Rory, get the facts straight. You´re pregnant, you cheated. I do know that but at the same time Ineeded him so badly.

I got up with a start and took Oliver Twist out of my bookshelf. I pulled a black pen out of my purse and started my mission. Winning Jess back, regaining his trust and maybe at some point regaining my own happiness. It may sound selfish, but right then I didn´t care. I furiously started to scan the pages for the word dodger and then with a smooth swift of my hand I crossed all those words out, making them unreadable. When I was finished, my eyes hurt, my hand was stiff and I was tired. But it felt good. For the first time in a couple of weeks I allowed myself to smile.A real smile.

I scribbled a note on the first page, put the book in a big envelope, addressed it and put a stamp on it that I found on my desk. Then i grabbed the keys and left the apartment.

On my way to the post office, i called Steven to let him now that I was coming over later.

Steven looked at me with, nodding his head in understanding.

" i don´t even know if he´s gonna take me back. but it would be wrong for us to be together, Steven. I´m sorry." when i didn´t get a reply I continued.

" but you´re still the biological father, i mean since..." he interrupted me.

"Rory, calm down. i understand. I get where this is coming from. My parents got a divorce when i was still a kid, it hurt.I mean, if it weren´t for the fact that you´re pregnant, we wouldn´t be together. hell, we haven´t been together really.We just did what we thought would be the best for the kid, but we both know that it´s not."

I got up, hugged him and went to the door feeling relieved. I turned around once again.

" you´re agreat guy, Steven, thank you!" he just nodded again and sighed.

"i´ll be there for you and the kid. keep that in my mind." It was the first time i realized that he would always call it the kid. not your, not our, but the kid, the baby.

I opened the door of his apartment and went back to my place counting the days in my head the letter would take to arrive at its destination.

So ? what dou you think? i am not completly satisfied with this chapter, not even a bit but i just had to update. it´s so fun to write this.

review, thanks!