Nope, they are not mine.
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Jess POV
'Bills, bills, bills, big envelope, bills… Wait, big envelope?' I was going through my mail that had been lying on the kitchen table for a few days. I recognized her handwriting immediately. Neat and precise. I struggled with myself, should I open it? Maybe it would help me to get closure. My hands were shaking when I opened the envelope.
It was a book, Oliver Twist to be exact. Why did she send it to me? Did she want to torture me even more? I looked through it and frowned. On most of the pages , words were crossed out. First I couldn't make out what they were but soon it dawned on me. The Artful Dodger was no longer part of the story, but what was she telling me? Has she moved on, did she not need me in her life anymore?
Flashback
I woke up with a bad headache, not knowing where I was. I let my eyes scan my surroundings. Oh, I was lying in my old bed above the diner, and apparently I had the worst hangover of my life. Why had I been drinking so much? Then I knew. Rory was pregnant, it was not mine. I got up and poured myself a glass of water. Oh boy, and here I thought I couldn't feel worse than the day I found out she cheated on me.
Suddenly I felt the overwhelming urge to throw up. I ran into the bathroom and all of my stomach contents made their way into the toilet. With my free hand, I searched for the flush as I slipped down onto the floor. I rubbed my temples, trying to make the pain go away, but of course it wouldn't. it only got worse. I silently cursed myself for losing it. I got up and put on my clothes from the night before. They smelled of smoke and alcohol. I guess I spent my night at some local bar, I didn't know anymore.
I grabbed my stuff and slowly made my way down the stairs. Luke and Lorelai were the only people downstairs, after all it was thanksgiving.
I avoided eye contact with either of the two as I said. "Hey, I don't feel like giving thanks anymore, I'm out of here." Luke just nodded sympathetically and if he wanted to stop me from going home, he didn't. I opened the door and heard the bell ring. It didn't help my headache.
I turned around, looked at Lorelai and said: "Well, I guess congratulations are in order, after all you're going to be a grandmother"
Lorelai looked down and whispered something that sounded like "I wished it was yours," she had no idea.
Flashback end
I looked through the book again and found a note on the first page. I took a deep breath before reading it.
Dear Jess,
The book symbolizes how I feel. Incomplete, because of the fact that the main character is missing in my life. I'm so sorry I hurt you and I pray every night that you will be able to forgive sometime for what I've done. My life means nothing without you. When I told you back then that it meant something to me, I should have elaborated. Yes, it did mean something to me, but only because of the fact that I wouldn't hate the tiny human being that is growing inside of me. I didn't want things to turn out this way, I always pictured us together, picking out baby names, arguing over the books our child would be allowed to read. I never wanted anyone else to be the father of my child, never. When I close my eyes, it's you, who I see. When I wake up in the morning, it's always you I picture lying next to me, but it never is. I wanted it to be you who would discover my first grey hair. I can see you when I close my eyes teasing me about it. It's a lot to ask, I know, but I love you so much and I would do anything to be the one you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. Please Jess, this is me begging you to give me another chance.
Love, Rory
I've already read it about ten times. I felt my eyes getting wet, my tears leaving wet marks on the paper. I had to lie down, no, I had to throw up, I didn't know what to think anymore. I didn't know what to want anymore…. No, I did exactly know what I wanted. I wanted her.
I fixed myself a cup of coffee, yes, I had bought a new coffeemaker. In the last couple of weeks it kinda became a habit to drink coffee while thinking about her. It made me feel closer to her, because I could taste her. I swallowed down the hot liquid and fought the urge to call Luke. I didn't need another opinion on this, no, if I was sure about anything it was the fact that she was worth a second chance.
I ripped a sheet of paper of my legal pad and wrote two words. Two words that would be able to change my life. No, not changing it, but getting it back to normal. To the way we were!
so, what do you think? like it ? hate it ? it was fun writing it. hope this is better than the last one!