It Happens.

All My Fault

(Continuing from a Mansion deep within the corrupt area of Jump City)

"Since this is a virgin orifice," Slade said simply as he opened the container and dipped two fingers into the cream, "I think that I should lubricate it first," he told Robin as he slowly slipped out his lubricated covered fingers from the container, "but first," he said, "I'll have to make you a bit less mobile," he said simply and pressed a bottom on his pouch.

Raven continued watching the scene unfold in disbelief. She always thought that she knew what her father was capable of. Now she realized that she was wrong. Wrong BIG TIME.

Robin screamed as Slade's fingers pushed its way into his anus. Slade pushed his fingers up until they couldn't go any further. Then Slade moved them in and out with quick thrusts as Robin continued to sob. After a good while Slade slipped his finger out of Robin's orifice with a slight 'pop'.

"That should be enough," Slade said simply as Robin continued to shake even more with sobs.

"Prepare yourself Robin," Slade said.

(Raven's POV)

I looked on with my mouth hanging open. This MAN was my father! No. No way in hell.

"Now I'm really beginning to see why Robin can't really get over this," I declared, "it can't get any worse," I added.

But I knew that was a lie. The actual rape hadn't even happened yet.

"Do you know that I'm going to get married Robin?" Slade asked.

I froze. He was about to rape Robin then goes onto the subject of marriage?

"What kind of parodic creepy thing is this?" Raven asked herself softly as she continued to watch, feeling even more uncomfortable.

"I'm going to punish you Robin," Slade said venomously as he glared at Robin, "I offered you every avenue of leaving me alone and not doing something like this," he said frankly, "but you just wouldn't leave me alone," he snarled, "I even had to rehire the H.I.V.E. for extra protection and you still dragged along your team after me," he told Robin, "everyone at some point told you to leave me be Robin," he told Robin as Robin looked at Slade in disbelief, "first Starfire, then Beast Boy, then Cyborg and most recently I'm certain even Raven wanted to give up the chase at one point," he said to Robin and chuckled coyly when Robin didn't try to deny it.

Why the fuck's he mentioning me for? I don't want to be a part of this conversation! (Raven's thoughts)

"But Raven soon chastised herself and changed her mind," Robin added quickly his voice filled with a certain triumph, "she probably wants to get you even more than I do now," he said almost venomously and Robin looked straight into Slade's rather cold but noticeably seething with anger, unmoving eye.

"Oh no," I said, "take that back Robin," I whispered, "please take that back," she begged knowing that her father would be beyond furious now.

"And I wonder who keeps motivating her?" Slade responded in a voice more void of emotion than his had ever been before, "maybe a certain Boy Wonder, or should I say a certain Robin who is about to have his wings clipped," he said in a rather snappish tone as he grabbed Robin and forced him brutally into the position that he was in moments before despite Robin's continuous struggling, "I'm going to take away that fire from you little boy," he hissed as he held Robin's buttocks in place and Robin winced feeling Slade's nails digging into his flesh, "after this you'll never want to hear of or from me, much less see my face ever again!" he cried in a confident but eerily angry voice.

"Please Slade don't!" Robin cried pleadingly.

"You should have kept up that act earlier!" Slade cried in a rage……..

"NO!" I screamed and grabbed the crystal ball and threw it at the screen ending what I was seeing moments before as the television's glass screen shattered sending glass flying all around.

I buried my head in my hands and sobbed. Shards of glass stuck at my skin but I didn't care.

"It was all my fault," I sobbed, "he tried to tear down Slade by using me to put him out," I continued, "he didn't know I was Slade's daughter then otherwise he wouldn't have said that," I bawled, "I don't have to look to know that my father raped him after that," I said, "if he hadn't raped Robin, Robin would be six feet under right now," I croaked, "because my father would've just killed him if he hadn't just raped him in absolute rage."

(Normal POV)

Raven cried for nearly an hour. Then she got up, wiped her tears, and started to clean up the glass-covered area.

I have to apologize to Robin. (Raven's thoughts)

(Half an hour Later at Robin's Mansion)

Robin sat in the living room doing nothing. He knew he could watch TV, exercise or many other leisure activities. But he just couldn't do anything, or more so he didn't want to. He definitely couldn't go to sleep. Raven and Slade were too deeply rooted in his mind. Slade had always occupied a certain part of his mind as did Raven, but he was usually able to push those thoughts out or at least off. Now they were taunting and almost haunting him within his thoughts. His doubts that Raven being the only one to blame were now at full blast and it took all his will power not to scream and curse the day he heard that name and spoke it. The name that led to the person who did the act that shattered his life forever.

"Slade," Robin whispered, "if you had just let me go," he said, "my life would be different," he continued, "everyone's life would be different."

(Robin's POV)

I always wondered about what it would be like. Never meeting Slade. I've always said that nothing bad would've happened if I hadn't met Raven. But deep down I knew that more so I'd never have been raped if it weren't for Slade.

"Slade," I said again but in a hateful snarl, "whoever killed you did the world a favour."

Suddenly I heard a knock on the door. I simply waited for the butler to answer it. I wasn't in the mood for guests anyway.

"Madame, Sir Robin said no visitors," the butler was heard speaking after someone who was now stamping loudly into the mansion, "Madame please!" he said loudly, "oof!" he cried and I heard a body fall to the ground.

I got up and hurried to the front door. But then I met up with the unexpected visitor before even reaching it.

"Blackfire?" I asked in surprise, "what are you doing here?"

"I'm here for Beast Boy's things," Blackfire spat.

"His things?" I asked in confusion.

"Beast Boy and I have decided that it's best that he moves in with me," Blackfire stated.

"Where on Earth is that?" Robin demanded.

"Tameran," Blackfire responded, "he's going to leave with me in two days for Tameran," she told me formally.

"What?" I asked in surprise.

"He agrees that it's best he leaves with me," Blackfire revealed to me, "I was going to just go home by myself and visit earth from time to time to mainly date Beast Boy but he decided to come with me and see my homeland for himself for a bit," she said, "in fact he might be staying there for quite a while," she added happily.

"What does that mean?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well with Beast Boy's feelings for me and mine for him," Blackfire declared, "I see no reason why we can't become a steady couple and eventually of course get married."

"Married!" I cried, "you PLAN to marry Beast Boy?" I asked incredulously.

"If he wants to, yes," Blackfire told me, "Beast Boy is quite nervous and sensitive about romantic and sexual relationships," she stated, "based with his track record of liking Raven, Terra, YOU and admittedly myself as well, I'm not surprised," she admitted, "seems Beast Boy likes girls that can be outcasts or rebels if not both," she deduced and I noticed that she didn't mention the type of boy, "well at least that gives me a chance since he's not into goody goody girls like my sister Starfire once was," she added.

"Starfire's still a good person," I immediately defended Starfire.

"I never said she wasn't," Blackfire said darkly, "I'm just saying she's changed," she told me.

"And whose fault is that?" I snapped.

"Definitely not mine or Raven's," Blackfire fired back, "you should look in the mirror jackass!" she shouted and pointed at me.

"Excuse me?" I demanded.

"Oh wake up!" Blackfire exploded, "Starfire changed mainly because you REJECTED her!" she accused, "you're lost in your world of 'blame Raven, blame Slade and block out everyone else'!" she shouted, "you broke my sister's joyous spirit then you used Beast Boy and threw him away like a bag of garbage the moment he became useless or unsatisfactory for you," she said, "what kind of monster are you?" she snarled.

"I never used Beast Boy!" I shouted angrily.

"Oh," Blackfire said, "yet you were so quick to throw him out of that room of yours and tell him all the things you said?" she asked me, "he said that you were just angry and still have unresolved issues," she told him, "but you know what I think?" she asked, "I think that you know perfectly well what you're doing and this whole over the top 'Slade raped me and I'm still a victim of him and his daughter Raven caused it to happen' thing is just a big show to you," she decided, "you just want to torture Raven and keep your pleasure green toy under your thumb and of course under YOURSELF!" she snapped, "well not anymore!" she declared, "I'm taking Beast Boy's things and if I have my way he'll NEVER return to see you again!"

"Beast Boy will want to see me!" I shouted, "we're friends!" I cried, "if not lovers," I added.

"Lovers!" Blackfire shouted and laughed, "don't go deluding yourself," she told me, "Beast Boy and you are both lonely," she stated, "you kicked Starfire to the curb because you couldn't accept what happened to you and were stupid enough to think throwing away the love of your life would make things better," she said and I gasped at her being so right on the dollar, "I knew you loved Starfire even while I sparred with you when I first came to the Tower and before you found out that I was a criminal," she announced, "back then you seemed determined to leap beyond any challenge or bounds to protect Starfire, the woman that you're SUPPOSED to love," she recalled.

"I do love Starfire," I said softly.

"Do you?" Blackfre asked sarcastically, "that's why you're fucking Beast Boy in some hut room and Raven comes back telling me that Starfire stands not too far away listening to you and Beast Boy's moaning and groaning," she said and I gasped, "you didn't know," she realized, "that my sister still waits for you despite all her changes," she told me, "that she pines for you like she did as the original Starfire if not more."

"But why would Raven be there?" I asked.

"You're so dense," Blackfire snapped angrily, "Raven loves Beast Boy," she reminded me.

"She was there because she loves Beast Boy?" I asked still confused since Raven wasn't the sit around and mope by your loves door type unlike Starfire.

"I'm not finished yet," Blackfire said, "but she valued her friendship with Starfire more," she added.

"But Starfire's not friends with Raven anymore," I responded, "well she might be again with the whole thing at the hospital," I said bitterly.

"She's not," Blackfire confirmed, "Raven still values the friendship that she and Starfire had," she explained, "plus my parents asked her to take care of Starfire," she added.

"Your parents TRUST Raven?" I asked in disbelief.

"My parents like me, don't choose to like or dislike people based on their paternity," Blackfire said frankly, "Raven made a mistake and mistakes can be forgiven by those not too BLIND to see them as mistakes and not acts of absolute evil," she said pointedly, "they know from experience that paternity doesn't determine what a child will grow to be like," she said, "I mean, look at me," she pointed out, "I was born from a royal law abiding family and I because a secular law breaking rebellious criminal."

"You sure did," I agreed.

"But I'm not a criminal anymore," Blackfire reminded me, "I've changed and my parents are even offering me the crown since Starfire's rejected it and her nanny as you'd call him died nearly two years ago and my parents had miraculously returned a month after his death since it turned out that their ship had crash landed on a far off planet, not exploded killing them like it was thought back when I stole the throne and Starfire defeated me and gave it to the nanny."

"Your parents want you as the new queen?" I asked not hiding my surprise.

"Yes Robin," Blackfire told me, "MY parents can forgive mistakes," she said, "unlike you," she added hatefully.

"Her mistake cost me my virginity!" I screamed.

"Her mistake caused Slade to escape!" Blackfire screamed back, "Slade caused you to lose your virginity, not her," she shouted, "Slade could always take your virginity," she told me, "did you think for FIVE seconds that maybe Slade wasn't planning on taking your virginity?" she asked me, "that something beyond both your controls happened propelling him to do something he wouldn't normally do?" she put forward, "he was getting married Robin," she insisted, "Terra told me that Slade had mentioned that to you before you…" she continued but stopped and looked down.

"Before I what?" I asked and I noticed that Blackfire was now looking away from me, "before I WHAT!" I demanded loudly when she refused to answer.

"Before you dangled Raven's intent on capturing him in his face causing him to explode and abandon his plan of scaring you to just raping you painfully instead!" Blackfire blurted out then covered her mouth and looked at me in absolute shock.

I felt my brows furrow as I processed what she had just said. At first I couldn't understand it, she had blurted it out so fast. But then the meaning and immediately following the horror of her words set in. I looked at her with widened eyes and she looked at me with guilt ridden injured eyes. I knew she wasn't lying.

"It was my fault?" I asked in a clear voice yet I couldn't be more confused, "I caused Slade to chain me down on that bed and rape me?" I asked hoarsely.

"I swore to Terra that I wouldn't tell you!" Blackfire cried, "please forget I said it Robin," she begged, "Raven doesn't even know about it," she added.

"What?" I asked, "how come?"

"Terra said that it would be too complicated," Blackfire tried to explain, "people have been blaming Raven for your rape for years," she reminded Robin, "the last thing needed was something to make Raven actually believe that," she told me.

"Actually believe that?" I asked in confusion, "but it was my fault," I insisted, "I mentioned Raven and got her father extremely mad," I pointed out.

"But it was RAVEN you mentioned when Slade went over the edge," Blackfire countered, "Terra pointed out to me the strong possibility that Raven would blame herself since you had to mention her to drive her father to rape you," she revealed to me, "you don't realize how much it upsets Raven everyday that her father commited such a horrible act on you," she said, "none of you did," she said and I guessed that she was referring to the rest of Raven's ex-titan team including myself.

"Raven's upset about it?" I asked.

"You are so dense!" Blackfire shouted, "Raven's made it clear to you that she's not proud of what her father's done!" she exclaimed, "you just never listen," she told me, "not you, not Starfire, not Beast Boy, not Cyb…"

"Cyborg listened," I said suddenly.

"Don't give me that crap!" Blackfire snapped with flaring eyes, "Raven told me what she overheard Cyborg say when she was leaving the Tower forever!" she shrieked, "you're all heartless!"

"She didn't hear everything," I told Blackfire, "she only heard the last part and made the wrong assumption."

"Is that so?" Blackfire asked superiorly.

"Cyborg loved her," I said suddenly and Blackfire froze.

"W…Wh…What?" Blackfire stuttered.

"Hours after Raven left," I started, "I found something in the waste basket after everyone else went to sleep," I continued, "I realized that it was a letter," I said, "a letter Cyborg wrote telling Raven how much he loved her," I concluded softly.

"He loved her?" Blackfire asked in awe.

"Yes," I confirmed, "but I never told Cyborg what I knew," I said quickly, "so he must've decided not to tell her since she thought that he hated her," I stated, "I was so angry when I found out that he had known about Raven's paternity before the rest of us and never told us before my rape," I recalled, "but afterwards I thought about the letter and it made more sense," I added.

"Um, I think I'll take Beast Boy's things now," Blackfire said and it was obvious that she was trying to change the subject, "where's his room?" she asked me.

"Well he has a lot of…" I started to say.

"He said certain items from his bedroom would be suffice," Blackfire interrupted me, "it's not a lot he wants," she continued, "just a few pieces of clothing, all his stuff from Titan days, a few letters, all memory cards and four specific video games and his laptop," she listed.

"That's all?" I asked in surprise, "but all the stuff he's got could fill…"

"Maybe twenty of this sixty bedrooms Mansion alone, I KNOW," Blackfire interrupted again and she sounded impatient, "look," she said firmly, "I'm only here for what Beast Boy wants to carry along with him," she told me, "if he wants to he can come for everything else," she added.

"If he wants to?" I asked in bewilderment and Blackfire immediately rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"His bedroom," Blackfire said pointedly.

"Fourth floor green door," I said formally, "take the elevator at the top of these steps," I said and pointed out the nearby stair case, "it will let you off right next to Beast Boy's bedroom," I told her and suddenly felt something heavy in my chest, "I guess you can deal with the rest," I said simply.

"Yes Robin I'm a big girl," Blackfire said and walked off, "Goodbye Robin."

"Goodbye," I responded and went back to sit down.

I felt something heavy in my chest again. I knew that I was on the verge of crying. My thoughts were now haunted of all the happy moments that I had with Beast Boy both friendly and romantic. We never intended to become permanent lovers. Beast Boy moved in with me here on my insistence and I showered him with everything someone would give to both a lover and a best friend. Beast Boy I thought was suckered into believing that this arrangement would last forever. But I was wrong. I was the one who was SUCKERED into believing this would last forever. Me taking care of every financial need and always pulling Beast Boy from the subject of trying to get a job.

"I'm so stupid," I whispered to myself, "no wonder I caused Slade to rape me," I added.

I must've been sitting for a good while because I soon heard my butler telling Blackfire goodbye. I sighed and decided to retire for the rest of the night. But I knew that I actually was just going to up to one of my many bedrooms to break down and cry. At least now I had a new excuse to.

(Ten minutes later at a Mansion deep within the corrupt area of Jump City)

(Raven's POV)

I sat in the chair listening to Speedy talk through my phone. I really wanted to go see Robin but I didn't want to leave Speedy in the state he was in. Just by hearing him over the phone I knew that he was on the verge of doing something stupid. Something REALLY stupid.

"I'm watching a tape of us at our first picnic on top of the tower," Speedy said suddenly, "I can't believe we used to be so close and happy," he said sadly.

"Speedy," I said seriously but carefully, "why call me?" I asked him, "you hate me," I reminded him.

"Who else can I call?" Speedy asked me frankly, "Aqualad hates me and won't take letters so calls are useless," he told me, "the twins are GOD knows were probably kissing each other, Bumblebee's dead and I …." he listed then broke off and stated to cry, "I'm so lonely Raven," he said between sobs, "I can't call Cyborg 'cause I feel too embarrassed, Starfire and I aren't close, same with Beast Boy and Robin has his own demons to tend to."

"Contend with," I corrected him.

"Yeah," Speedy croaked and he wasn't sobbing anymore, "do you ever wish you could turn back time Raven?" he asked me suddenly, "just turn back time and make even just one change?" he asked.

"Yes," I admitted.

"I'd make sure that I never got involved with this whole thing of Robin raping Slade and it being your fault," Speedy revealed to me, "in fact I'd go back in time and warn all of Titan East to stay out of it," he declared.

"What about Aqualad meeting me before the rest of you finding out?" I asked.

"I'd beg him to be more forgiving," Speedy suggested.

"I know what I'd do," I said, "I'd make sure I never existed."

"To the Titans?" Speedy immediately asked.

"To the living world Speedy," I corrected him, "I'd make sure that I'd never been born," I stated.

"Isn't that a bit harsh?" Speedy asked me.

"Do you think suicide is a bit drastic?" I countered knowing that's what he was considering.

"Touché," Speedy admitted, "let's make pact," he said, "if I don't kill myself you'll try not to find a way to eliminate yourself from ever existing?"

"All right," I agreed.

"Well thanks for tolerating me despite me finding your address and home number just to call you and act like an idiotic basket case," Speedy said with a chuckle.

"Anytime," I said in hopes that he felt better.

"Goodbye Raven," Speedy said softly, "and forgive me for everything okay?" he asked.

"I'll do my best," I responded, "Goodbye Speedy," I said and he hung up, "be better soon," I added and hung up myself.

I thought about Speedy and realized that if things had gone differently that could easily have been, Cyborg, Beast Boy, Robin or Starfire. I shuddered at the thought.

It's so hard to realize your blessings. Bumblebee's dead, the twins are gone, Aqualad has forsaken all Tians except me and Speedy's been dealing with unhappiness and guilt I never knew about. I truly pitied him when he mentioned how badly he and Aqualad argued the night Aqualad left and never came back. He didn't even return for stuff he left at the Titans East Tower. At least I came back for my things. Titans East is no more. Things were so bad Steel City didn't want to replace them when the sixteen-year old age limit came around. The town just wanted them gone. Besides help from the new Teen Titans at our former tower and other miscellaneous heroes, no more superheroes were around to save Steel City. We were lucky. Besides myself, Jump City appreciates the help offered by Robin and the other former Titans. We still speak to each other even if it's often in hostility, coldness or hatred for some of us. I just never realized that even though we're not friends anymore, we at least allow our eyes to see the other and at least say even three words to each other. The former Titan East don't do that. One member's dead and the others are just totally apart from each other. Aqualad by choice, the twins in fear of being located and ridiculed and Speedy by isolation which he wasn't even given a choice. I suddenly feel extra lucky. And I feel horrible about it. I'll contact Robin later. I'm too focused on Speedy to think or talk about anything else. (Raven's thoughts)

End Chapter 5