The Usual Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½, it's characters, copyrights, trademarks, etc..., nor do I have any permissions from the author, publisher, etc..., to write this piece of simple fanfiction. I am not being paid and I am not receiving any sort of payment in regards to this fanfiction, with the exception of the small amount of pride I feel when I receive a positive review.
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Embracing her fiancée, Akane felt him turn in her arms to face him. Relief rushed through her mind as Ranma's arms wrapped around her. He didn't mean it! her mind cried. He didn't mean it when he called me uncute! Ranma's arms tightened around her, and she buried her face in him, hoping that he wouldn't push her away. He... he just thought I'd hit him! He thinks I'm... I'm... beautiful? He... what? Akane felt his hand under her chin, making her look up at him. He must have thought I was crying... She blinked at the odd expression on his face.
"Ranma? What are you...?"
Akane's eyes widened at the sudden feel of his lips on hers. Her mind froze, unable to deal with everything that had happened in just a few short minutes. Her arms dropped to her sides, her breathing simply stopped. Her legs began to give. Akane felt Ranma's lips leave hers, and a few seconds later, touch lightly against her neck. Then she felt Ranma's lips leave as she slumped to her knees.
"Oi, Akane!" she heard Ranma say. Barely aware, she felt herself being picked back up, and placed on her feet. "Oi. Oi. Ow. What did you...?"
Too much! her mind screamed. Too much! It's too much at once! She felt her lips move, vaguely aware she was saying something, then the world went black as she collapsed.
-----
Ranma felt Akane start to fall. Huh? His mind responded. He opened his eyes in time to see Akane fall to her knees.
"Oi, Akane!" Panic flooded him, pushing aside the still-crushing desire to kiss her. He picked her back up, and tried to see if she could stand. Akane at least was able to hold herself up once placed there, but Ranma's nervousness grew as he saw her face looking utterly blank.
"Oi!" He waved a hand in front of her eyes, but Akane never even blinked. Beginning to feel a little desperate, she shook her shoulders a little, trying to get some kind of reaction out of her. "Oi!"
whock! as the mallet that had appeared in her hands impacted his head, and sent him sprawling along the length of the dojo. "Ow." Ranma looked up from the floor. "What did you...?" He looked at Akane, and saw that she had dropped the mallet, and was now pressing her fingers lightly to her neck where he had kissed her, before tapping them gently against her lips.
"Ranma..." she said in a very quiet tone. "You... you... pervert." Her eyes rolled up into her head, and Ranma barely managed to run to her in time to catch her before she hit the floor.
"Akane!" She... fainted? Holding the now unconscious Akane in his arms, Ranma tried to ignore the desire to kiss her again, and picked her up completely. With a sigh, he kicked open the door, and walked across the yard before jumping up to her window. Good thing it's open, he thought. He carried Akane into the room, then set her down on the bed. He pulled the blanket over her, then looked at her face. At least her eyes are closed, and she doesn't look like she's... frozen any more. I'll talk to her in the morning.
Ranma signed again as he looked down at his fiancée. A familiar urge took place in his mind, and be bent down over her sleeping form. One kiss goodnight...
Stop that.
Huh? he thought.
Are you going to dishonor her in her sleep?
What do you mean?
Are you going to lower yourself by forcing this on her in her sleep? Are you that much like Ryoga?
No! I am not like that damned pig!
Shaking his head, Ranma walked to the door, and left the room. What was that? He couldn't help but cast one last glance at Akane before he left. He dropped onto his futon, trying to clear his mind so he could get some rest. It was hours, however, before sleep finally claimed him. Then the morning came, and things started going from bad to worse.
-----
Shampoo arrived at the Tendo's a little after dawn, and quietly jumped up to the window she knew belonged only to Ranma. She slid it open, and slipped into the room. Ranma was asleep on his futon, snoring softly, and flat on his back.
Perfect, thought Shampoo. "Airen," she said in a seductive voice.
Ranma slept.
"Aaaiiirennnn," a little louder.
Ranma snored.
"Airen!" she snapped as loudly as she dared, and gave Ranma a light kick in his side, trying to provoke him awake.
And thereby hit upon the second flaw in her plan to finally have the Great Ranma Saotome. And in Nerima, hidden plans must either be executed flawlessly, or be smashed without mercy into the ground.
The first, of course, was leaving Mousse alone in the kitchen without specific instructions while she had tried to handle her great-grandmother. She had forgotten, as it was, Mousse's simple desire to help her do anything, just like he said. And, as a result, he had tried to 'help' her by finishing the potion for her.
The second flaw was forgetting exactly who she was trying to wake up.
Had she done the exact same thing to Akane, Mousse, Ryoga, Nabiki, or maybe Genma Saotome, she would have succeeded in waking them up, as well as making them more that a little grumpy. As it was, the great flaw consisted of, when you get down to it, one little thing.
For years, in Japan, then in China, then again in Japan in the Tendo household, Ranma had been constantly awakened by his father's "Saotome Sunrise Surprise Attack."
And as a result, Ranma's sleeping body, trained by years of this exact same type of morning abuse, did what battle instinct told it to do. It woke Ranma's mind to a half-awake status, then grabbed his 'father's' offending foot, slammed a fist into the stomach of his 'dad,' did a flip and kicked 'him' upside the head, and then flung the still-held foot and the body it was attached to up into the air, kicked it out the window hard, before dropping completely onto his futon. Then Ranma woke up.
"Huh?" was all the conqueror of Shampoo said.
Looking around, he could have sworn the he had just beaten his pop up. He wondered if it really was his dad, but then decided against it. Ever since moving out of the room, Genma Saotome always made sure that the bedroom door was open before beginning a morning attack, to make sure that there was a fast exit available from the room that did not have a koi pond on the other side of it. Looking up, he saw his window was open. He quickly jumped to his feet, and looked out the window. No one there, not in the back yard, and the koi pond's surface was flawless, not even a ripple from an impact.
"Dreaming," Ranma mumbled. His mind, determining that the 'threat' had never been there, allowed itself to fall back into a half-asleep doze, before allowing Ranma Saotome, now fully under the effects of a potion made only once before in all the years of Amazon history, to leave his room in search of breakfast.
-----
In the kitchen, Kasumi was getting ready for breakfast with her traditional smile already on her face. She heard someone coming down the stairs, and looked up to see Ranma stumbling down, his eyes closed, looking like someone who had just been woken up and didn't really want to be that way.
"Ranma?"
Ranma's head managed to swivel into Kasumi's general direction. "Nani?"
"You look tired. Did you sleep well?"
"Woke up last night, didn't get back to sleep for hours."
"Breakfast won't be ready for some time. Why don't you go take a bath, and come down when you're awake?"
"Ok, Kasumi, that sounds good." Ranma staggered back up the stairs, and stumbled his way down the hall.
Incidentally, Kasumi had saved herself from a fate, while nowhere near as bad as death, she certainly wouldn't want pushed upon her. She was, however, quite glad that Ranma seemed to be talking again.
-----
Shampoo landed outside the Nekohanten, where Cologne and Mousse had been looking for her for at least five minutes. Cologne had only just stuck her head out the door when Shampoo hit the pavement with a resounding crash.
"Shampoo!" the elder Amazon cried. "What has happened to you?"
"My dear Shampoo!" Mousse had appeared at the door, with his glasses on.
"Quick, get her inside!"
Mousse picked up the battered Shampoo in his arms, and ran back into the Nekohanten, worried out of his mind. "Elder, it looks like someone took a sledgehammer to her head!" He pointed at the bruise on her jaw, where Ranma's upside-down kick had crashed.
Cologne stared at the hit, before examining her great-granddaughter for other injuries. "Quick boy, get her to her room, then get me some bandages from the first aid kit in the kitchen, some water, and my spice box!"
Mousse shot into the kitchen, tearing open the first aid kit, while Cologne stayed behind to further check on Shampoo. "Someone hit her hard enough to bruise her stomach, looks like a second blow cracked ribs on her left side, probably the hit that sent her here. A kick from the looks of it. If she's lucky, there's no internal bleeding from the punch to her stomach." She glanced at Shampoo's jaw. "Nothing broken, she's still her all her teeth, but I bet it rattled her brain around a little. You're lucky, great-granddaughter."
"Elder! I have what you need!" Mousse scrambled through the door, holding out the bandages, water, and the carved box. Cologne snatched the box away, pulled off the lid, and picked the container from the upper-right corner. She squinted at it, making sure it was the right one. "Mousse, take this, take one teaspoon, add it to the water, dissolve it as best you can."
The Amazon boy did what he was told, while Cologne herself began wrapping Shampoo's ribs in bandages.
"Done, Elder Cologne." Mousse held out the water.
"Tilt her head forward, make sure she drinks it."
"Hai! Um, what am I making her drink?"
"Healing powder, she'll be on her feet again in a few minutes, if a little sore."
As Mousse began pouring the water into Shampoo's mouth, Cologne looked again at the injuries she had.
It's easy to see that no weapons where used. Who in Nerima possesses such power with his bare hands? thought the Amazon. It's obvious any one of these hits would take her down, the other's must obviously be to make sure she stayed that way. The little destroyer Happosai would never hit a girl, he'd latch onto her like the leech that he is. That Ryoga boy might just have the necessary strength, but what would he hit Shampoo for? He supports Shampoo as long as she supports him going after the Tendo girl. As for Ranma himself, taking out Shampoo would be but a morning exercise, but son-in-law doesn't hit females. And even if he did, this is the kind of powerful beating he'd show Ryoga, or his father, not a girl. Is there someone new? Has another player come to the city?
Shampoo groaned, sitting up.
"Shampoo! Lie down, you're injured," came Mousse's voice from her side.
"Quiet boy! Shampoo! What happened to you? Tell me!"
The Amazon girl opened her eyes slowly, feeling the ache across her body. She looked first at Mousse, who was staring at her with obvious concern behind his glasses, then at Cologne, who was wearing a worried look as she waited for her answer. Then Shampoo's eyes fell on the open spice box on the floor. She... she knows! Great-grandmother find out Shampoo's plan!
Sobbing, she fell on the matriarch's shoulder's, tears pouring down her face. Forgive me, great-grandmother! she cried in Chinese. I knew you forbid me from using more spices to catch Airen, but I disobeyed! I wanted to try one more time! But I must have made it wrong, for as soon as he saw me, he punched me, he kicked me, he knocked me across the city! Forgive me! I will never disobey again! I will take any punishment, just don't send me back to China and away from my Airen! I will never disobey you, I swear it! I will-
"Quit your incessant babbling, slow down, and stop crying so I can understand what you're saying!"
Holding back her tears, Shampoo began again. Please don't send me back to China-
"Japanese!!" shrieked Cologne.
"Do not send Shampoo back to China, Honored Elder Cologne." The aforementioned matriarch's jaw dropped at the title Shampoo almost never used. "Shampoo was forbidden using potions to catch Airen, but Shampoo had try again! Shampoo made potion wrong, was attacked by Airen as soon as Shampoo try to wake! Shampoo so sorry, will never disobey again!"
"What are you talking about, Shampoo? I'm the one who made the potion, not you."
"What you mean, Shampoo add potion to ramen after send Mousse to get delivery box!"
"No, I added the potion to the ramen when you ran out when Cologne called you!"
"What?! Stupid duckboy, no wonder potion go so wrong! Is your fault!"
Shampoo and Mousse both fell silent as Cologne shot them both a soul-withering glare.
"Shampoo, what were you thinking?! As of this moment, you will not set foot outside the Nekohanten until I say otherwise! Mousse, same for you!"
"Great-grandmother-"
"Honored Elder-"
"Silence, the both of you! Now, what potion did son-in-law eat?"
"Truth serum."
"Delayed passion spice."
"Shampoo! You told me you were making a truth serum!"
"What Shampoo need truth serum for? Shampoo try to bed Airen so be forced to go to China with Shampoo!"
Cologne was on the verge of snapping, probably someone's neck. "Will you two quit clowning around?! I need answers, and I need them now!" Her eyes fell on the spice rack, and suddenly noted the out of place containers, none of which were part of a delayed passion potion. 1, 2, 3, 4... she began counting the out of order bottles. "Shampoo, I know you're good enough at potions not to get ingredients wrong... Mousse, how many parts are there to a truth serum?"
A pause. "Eight."
"THREE!!" screamed Cologne and Shampoo.
Mousse began to back up. "But I remember adding eight..."
"Ahhhhh!!" Shampoo began throwing everything within reach at the Amazon boy, who, to his credit, managed to dodge them all, at least until Shampoo threw Cologne at him. Cologne righted herself in the air, and landed stick-first onto Mousse's face.
Jumping off the collapsing boy, she returned to her spice box, and began pulling out the misplaced bottles. She lined them up on the floor, then pulled out the containers for Shampoo's potion. Lining them all up, she began reading the labels.
"What great-grandmother doing?"
"Trying to determine what exactly son-in-law had for lunch. Here are the ones that made up your delayed passion spice," she said, pushing five bottles into a group. "And here are the three that make a truth serum, which Mousse managed to make correctly." Cologne pushed another three next to the previous five. "But this one," she pointed to a bottle from Shampoo's batch, "is the one that slows down the effects, making them slowly occur over several hours instead of right away, so the truth serum probably wouldn't fully take effect until this morning either. The problem is this five here, the ones that shouldn't have been used..." The Amazon elder eyeballed the 13 bottles in front of her. "These three are used only for the making of truth serums, or for making people see past their own delusions. One way or another, all they do is bring out the truth, so they're not the problem. Nothing here except for the delay, should interfere in their work. But the extra five... what will they do to the spices you added..."
Shampoo had seen her ancestor like this before. She wasn't really talking to Shampoo. Really, she was talking to herself.
"So, as they are of no importance to what you made, let's put these three aside..." She put them back in the box, "and simply look at the ten we have left. What will you ten do when combined... What affect will you have on the son-in-law...? I know I've seen this combination before, a ten-spice mix is rare... but where have I seen it, and why was it made..." Her eyes widened. "Oh, no, not that..." She bolted from the room, leaving her stick behind.
With a groan, Mousse sat up just in time to see Cologne arrive back in the room, looking like a running stack of scrolls and old texts with two stumpy legs.
"Help me look!" she snapped before tearing through scrolls at Chestnut Fist speeds.
"Honored Elder..." Mousse said as he picked up a scroll.
"What?" Cologne demended as she picked up a book, and started flipping through pages at the same speed.
"What am I looking for?"
"You're looking for..." she threw aside the book, and started going through another. "...this!" She looked at the formula in front of her, comparing it to the bottles still on the floor. For the first time in over a hundred years, Cologne screamed.
-----
"Honored Elder..."
"Quiet!"
"Great-grandmother..."
"Less talking, more running!"
"Shampoo, why is Elder Cologne dragging us across the rooftops, and why do we seem to be going to the Tendo residence?"
"Shampoo not know."
Dragging was not precisely accurate, since it implies that the were being pulled across the ground. not precisely accurate, since it implies that the were being pulled across the ground. Flying might be closer, since neither one had touched the ground ever since Cologne had yanked them out of Shampoo's window, and had started jumping from roof to roof with her stick under one arm, and the book under the other. She clutched their hands, pulling them with her. They looked less like people and more like human-shaped flags trailing the Amazon Elder.
Cologne stopped, and both of the Chinese youths finally hit the ground.
"What was that for, you dried-up voodoo doll?"
"This is why we must hurry, you fools!" Cologne shoved the open book in front of them. "Between the two of you, this is what son-in-law ate yesterday!"
Shampoo and Mousse leaned forward, peering at the pages. They screamed.
"Hurry, Shampoo, we've got to get to the Tendo's before Ranma does anything!"
"Shampoo say less talking, more running!"
"Put me down, I can run on my own!" Cologne was now flying between her two young charges, her body never touched the ground as they pulled her with them over the rooftops.
"QUIET!!" they snapped at her.
A few short blocks away, Ranma was getting out of the furo.
-----
Ranma finished getting dressed, and walked out of the bathroom, now feeling much more awake than the first time. I wonder if Kasumi has anything I can snack on before breakfast is ready? He descended the stairs, smelling her cooking. Was last night a dream? Maybe I should see what Akane does this morning before I say anything to anyone. If it was just some really, really realistic dream, then I shouldn't say anything. If it wasn't... I'll just keep up the silent treatment with everyone until I can talk to Akane alone.
"Oh, hello Ranma," said Kasumi, seeing him arrive at the bottom of the stairs. "Breakfast isn't ready yet. Would you mind waiting in the dining room until I'm finished?"
Ranma found his mouth answering her question, despite his intentions to stay silent. "No, Kasumi-" What are you doing?! his mind screamed."-I wouldn't mind-" SHUT UP!! "-at all." WHAT WAS THAT?!
Kasumi saw the odd look on Ranma's face as he headed towards the dining room table. "Ranma, is something wrong?"
Again, his mouth decided to betray the intentions his mind had tried to commit him to. "Well, I'm a little upset, because I had decided to not say-" his mouth snapped shut as he looked at Kasumi for the first time today. And inside his mind, he heard the whisper he heard last night, but this time, it was so much louder. So much more demanding. So much more controlling, and Ranma found that he could not resist. He took a step towards Kasumi, then another.
"Ranma?" Kasumi looked at Ranma, and saw an expression she had never seen before, and it surprised her, and scared her a little in it's intensity.
"Yes?"
"What's that look you're wearing?"
"I don't know, Kasumi, I can't see my own face. Describe it to me."
"You look... you look..."
"I look...?"
And in his mind, Ranma heard a scream he was helpless to resist.
TAKE HER!!!
Ranma advanced on Kasumi.
crack Ranma shot to one side, his head impacting the wall. Where he had been a moment before, Elder Cologne stood, panting heavily, with Shampoo and Mousse behind her.
"Is he unconscious?" demanded Mousse.
"Hit him again, make sure!" The three Amazons advanced on Ranma, and began pounding him into the ground. Kasumi stared in shock.
"Mousse, tie him up!" Chains flew from Mousse's arms, and Shampoo and Mousse held the bound Ranma up over their heads.
"To the dojo, we'll hold him there!"
"Quick Shampoo, let's hide him before he wakes up!"
"Aiyah!" They bolted out of the door, taking Ranma with them, Cologne still snapping instructions.
"Throw him inside! Seal the building, keep him from escaping!" More chains as Mousse sealed the door as best he could.
The Amazons slumped against the doors, finally relaxing.
"Oi," came Ranma's voice.
As Kasumi watched, all three jumped to their feet, and started backing from the door, fear and panic across their faces.
"I hope that there's a reason for this..."
"N-now Saotome," said Mousse nervously, "there's a good reason, a very good reason, and w-we'll explain it to you, but you have to stay inside."
There was a pause, and the sound of chains breaking. "I'm waiting."
"Ranma Saotome, you must stay inside the dojo!"
"Start talking, ghoul!" Anger was evident in Ranma's voice.
Sweat started pouring down Cologne's face. "Just stay in there until we can find a way to reverse what's been done!"
Ranma's voice was so close, Cologne knew that he must be pressed up against the door. "You had better be talking about my curse."
Panic crept into her voice. "I'm begging you, don't come out! Just wait, let us determine exactly what's happening to you, and then we'll tell you everything we know. We just need a little time, just a few hours, then we will tell you!" A total lie, but it's a lie in our best interest! I know exactly what's happening, and what's going to stop him if he escapes?
Inside the dojo, Ranma blinked in surprise. It sounds like the old ghoul's scared of something. And she's begging me not to come out? Since when does she beg anything? And what was that... feeling I had when I looked at Kasumi?
"Alright, but you had better have a good reason for locking me in here, or when I see you..."
An involuntary shudder ran down Cologne's spine. That is what I fear the most, is you seeing me! "Very well, we will be inside the Tendo household. We will let you know as soon as we can. Can... can we do anything to make you feel... more at ease?"
Ranma was almost shocked by the courtesy being shown to him in the question.
"Elder Cologne?" from the look on Mousse's face, so was he.
"Silence fool!" she hissed at Mousse. "Or do you want him angry at you?"
The sometimes-duck paled. "N-no!"
There was a thump from inside the dojo as Ranma lay himself flat on the floor. His voice, when it came, sounded much more relaxed. "I would like breakfast when Kasumi has it ready."
Cologne's shoulders slumped as tension finally released her. "We'll send it in to you."
-----
"So, now that we're all here, would you mind explaining what is it you're doing at my breakfast table, and why Ranma appears to be locked in the dojo?" Soun Tendo asked.
"I'm here to prevent Ranma from beating some of you to death, taking one of the girls as a victim, and maybe killing half of Nerima in the process."
"What?!"
"Let me explain. Yesterday, these two-" Cologne pointed at Mousse and Shampoo, "-went behind my back, and tried to feed another potion to Ranma Saotome, despite that I had forbidden them from doing so. But they weren't paying enough attention! They both tried to add two entirely different potions to the ramen when the other wasn't looking, and that is why Ranma must stay in the dojo, until we can find a way to deal with him. The potion that they created was never supposed to be used, but for one time!"
"Would that be the ramen Shampoo gave to him yesterday, saying it was an apology?" asked Nabiki.
"An apology was it?" Cologne glared at her great-granddaughter. "Yes, it was."
Soun spoke up. "So, what's happening to him? What potion did they end up making?"
With a sigh, Cologne set the book she was carrying on the table, and slowly began turning the pages. "A thousand years ago, the Amazon tribe was on the verge of a terrible battle, one which could have meant the total destruction of us entirely. We could have won, and with very little casualties, but there was... a problem. Our greatest warrior, Perfume, was so great a martial artist that she could kill a thousand warriors by herself."
"How is that a problem?"
"Silence, Genma Saotome! The problem was, she would not fight! She was a rarity among us, a martial artist who learned the Art to purify her body, so that she could purify her mind and soul."
"A noble cause."
"For once, I agree with you, Soun Tendo. But, she also refused to teach any others to become as strong as she was. Two days before the battle, we saw the enemies' strength, and realized that the upcoming war could destroy us both. So, we devised a way to make Perfume participate in the fight. In the end, my tribe created this." Cologne set the book down, the page showing the potion she had determined. "This is a potion capable of creating an immense change to someone's mind."
"You mean... my son's not going to be Ranma anymore?" Nodoka asked as Kasumi picked up the book, and began browsing the effects of the potion.
"No, Ranma is still going to be Ranma. But imagine dealing with a Ranma with all his inhibitions removed. And I mean all of them. His inhibitions against fighting girls will be gone, as well as his inhibition of holding back against weaker foes. That means that if he hits you, he will hit you hard, and won't stop until you don't get back up."
"What do you mean?"
"Simple. All inhibitions includes the one Ranma has against killing. You know how powerful Ranma really is, you saw his full power when he turned it against Saffron. And that was months ago. That boy sitting out in the dojo killed a god. With his own power. In single combat, he could kill any of us. Including me. Or Happosai!"
With a gasp, Kasumi dropped the book, a hand held over her mouth is shock.
"Ah, I see Ms. Tendo has reached the description of the battle with Perfume! Everyone you see there were our enemies." In shocking detail, a full page was dedicated to hand-drawn pictures of the fate of the opposing army. They were all beaten savagely, several had missing limbs, or were broken in ways that made it look as though they had been though a rock crushing machine.
"I thought you said Perfume was a pacifist!"
"Yes Akane Tendo, she was. But she was also in love. You see, that's what we used to make her fight. You see, while the potion removes every inhibition in someone's mind, it also adds a crushing desire to act out the two extremes of human emotion, love and hate. And he will act on those emotions, but only to those he considers close to him. Everything else becomes an obstacle, getting in the way. And you know the Amazon's idea of obstacles, which is going to be Ranma's idea of what to do with them."
Akane remembered. She'd heard Shampoo say it enough. "Obstacles is for killing."
"Yes, they are. That means that anything that comes between Ranma, and who he loves or hates, becomes an obstacle. And he will kill them."
"Are you sure?" asked Genma.
"I'm sure. Perfume hated killing even more then Ranma did. And look what she did! She killed a thousand warriors, alone. We didn't give her any help, she did it by herself."
"Did she hate your enemies?"
"Oh, no. She quite believed in saving life, but they became, to her, an obstacle."
"How?"
"She was in love with a man, and married him, but would not sleep with him, since she believed it would interfere with her goal of purifying her mind. On the night before the battle, we snuck behind the enemies' camp, with him behind us. We tied him to a tree, and left him there. In the morning, when dawn broke, we left Perfume at the edge of the battlefield as she began to wake. With the potion running through her mind, she saw her husband, and became consumed with her love for him. She desired to be by him, and so, the opposing army became..."
"An obstacle."
"Yes, Akane Tendo, an obstacle. The tribe came back for her two hours later, when there was no more noise coming from the battlefield."
"Two hours..." Soun whispered. "She killed a thousand warriors in two hours..."
"No, she killed a thousand warriors in half an hour! The rest of the time, she spent-"
"Oh, my!" Kasumi dropped the book again, her face as red as a fire truck. She got up, and walked into the kitchen, looking unsteady on her feet. "I... I need some tea. Does anyone else want some tea? I'm going to make some tea..."
"Kasumi? Are you alright?" asked Akane.
"Tea..."
Akane picked up the book, trying to see what had gotten to Kasumi this time. Her face went as red as her name before she slammed the book shut.
"Well, young Tendo, that is what Perfume spent the next hour and a half doing. What did you think the most physical expression of love was? A peck on the cheek?"
"Well, n-no... but..."
"But what?"
"Did they have t-to draw it?"
-----
"Now, we have one more thing to do. Shampoo, sit down!" Cologne yanked her great-granddaughter back into the floor. It was the third time she had tried to sneak out to the dojo thus far.
"But great-grandmother..."
"Silence! If I were you, I'd be sure of Ranma's feelings for you before I tried to sneak into the dojo."
"Shampoo cute girl, Ranma must be attracted to!"
"So is Kodachi Kuno, but if she set one foot inside the door, I believe the boy would shove her head through a wall before he'd even consider kissing her!" Unnoticed by either of them, Akane blushed at the mention of Ranma kissing someone.
"Now, the last thing we need to do is for someone to tell Ranma exactly what's happening to him. And he said he wanted breakfast. It would be simpler if one person did both of these tasks."
"How are we going to get food to Ranma without getting beaten or getting jumped?"
"Nabiki!"
"What's wrong, Akane? That is the problem, isn't it?"
"This potion," said Cologne, "works only upon sight, touch, or stress. It's why Ranma hasn't come out of the dojo to kill us, yet."
"So Ranma will be Ranma until he sees us, touches us, or... what? We start making fun of him? And what do you mean, yet?"
"If Ranma gets hungry, eventually, he's going to come looking for something to eat. I've seen how he eats when he comes to the Nekohanten, and I'd guess he's thinking about coming out of there. Someone has to take him food, and tell him why he can't leave."
Silence fell at the table as everyone looked around at everyone else.
"Cologne..."
"What is it?"
"What kind of person would be safe to get close to my son?"
"Certainly not you, you sorry excuse for a panda! I have no doubt that he'd kill you faster than he'd kill me! If I had to guess, and I do mean guess, the only way you could see Ranma safely would be if he loved you, but was utterly terrified of you."
All eyes turned to Nodoka Saotome, still holding her katana.
"What?"
-----
Everyone was outside the dojo, and Nodoka stood in front of the door. In her hands was a tray, with Ranma's breakfast on it. Under her arms were her sword and Cologne's book, to help her explain.
"If he runs for you, jump back, and we'll shut the door. Once he can't see you, he should go back to normal," Cologne advised.
"Hai."
"Ok, we'll pull the door on the count of three. Mrs. Saotome?"
"Yes, Elder Cologne?"
"Be careful what you ask him. One of the side-effects of the, eh, circumstances of the potions' creation is that he can no longer lie."
Behind them, Genma let out a scared-sounding squeak.
"Ready? 1... 2... 3!"
The door was pulled open, and Nodoka cautiously looked inside. Her soon was still saying on his back, but turned to look at her. A dozen different emotions played across his face. Then, his eyes noticed the sword. He shot backwards across the floor, fear written across his face.
What the...? Why am I so terrified of my mother? asked one voice in his head.
SHE'S HERE TO KILL ME!!! said another.
"It's alright, son, I'm here to talk to you."
I'M GONNA DIE!!! is what rattled through Ranma's mind, despite his mother's calm reassurance.
"They want me to explain everything to you, Ranma. I'm only here to talk. I have the breakfast you wanted with me, see?"
Ranma's mouth opened, but his voice was laced with fear. "I see it." LAST MEAL BEFORE DEATH!!
"It's the sword, Auntie Saotome. Ranma probably thinks that's you have it so you can use it," said Akane.
Nodoka looked at Akane, then set the sword down on the dojo floor, leaving it behind her. "My son, come here, you look hungry."
Ranma's eyes, Nodoka saw, looked much more relaxed after she had put the sword down.
Outside, Soun and Genma began to shut the door. The last thing Genma heard as the door shut was his wife. "Why were you so scared of the family blade?"
Uh-oh...
-----
"I thought you were here for the contract."
"Hmm?"
"The sword. I thought it was time for seppuku."
Nodoka paused for a moment. "Do you really think I would have you perform seppuku at the drop of a hat?"
"Yes."
"Where did you get that idea?"
"You always have the sword with you."
"Anything else?"
"Pops makes it sound like that."
Genma and I need to have a little... talk after this.
"Why do you always have the sword with you?"
"Where should I leave it, son? It's the family sword, I can't just set it down anywhere. Besides, it's useful for keeping your father in line."
The sound of her son's laughter made Nodoka smile.
"So, why I am locked in here?" Ranma asked as he picked up his rice bowl.
His mother opened the book. "Well, it looks like you've had another Amazon potion..."
-----
An hour later, and Soun and Genma could be seen playing Shogi while waiting for Nodoka to come out of the dojo. Everyone else still sat around still sat around the table. Cologne had decided that Ranma's delicate position took precedent over opening the Nekohanten.
"How long will it be until it stops working on him? A few hours?" Kasumi asked.
Cologne thought for a moment before answering. "Eternity."
"What?! He's going to be like this forever?!" shrieked Akane.
Cologne chuckled at Akane's reaction. "Not exactly. This potion will not 'wear off' like most of them do. It's going to rage through him until he can wear himself out at one of the extreme's the potion demands."
"What's that mean?"
"It means that until Ranma exhausts himself completely at beating someone to death that he hates or with one of you girls, he'll never be cured. And given Ranma's skill at martial arts, it's take everyone in this room's combined effort to drain him of all energy in a fight without someone dying. Even then, there's a chance one or more would fall at Ranma's hands. I wouldn't let Ranma know that little piece of information, either."
"Why not?"
"What do you think Ranma would do if you told him that?"
Akane groaned. "Knowing him, he'd go hide in the woods until he died."
"Exactly. Ranma's sense of honor wouldn't let him do anything else. So, we have to keep him in the dojo and alone until we can find an antidote for him."
"Shampoo fix right now! Shampoo go see Airen in dojo, set Airen right!"
Akane grinned smugly. "How are you going to that, Shampoo? If I were Ranma, I'd be pretty mad at you for tricking me into eating that."
"Violent kitchen destroyer always mad!"
"The young Tendo girl is right. Ranma's probably quite upset at you right now. Going in there would only provoke him. Besides, you couldn't go anywhere even if you wanted to."
"Only because great-grandmother made Mousse hang Shampoo from ceiling with chains!" Which was true. Shampoo hung by her feet from the ceiling, with chains wrapped around her from head to toe.
"It's in your best interest. I don't feel like losing a great-granddaughter over her own foolishness."
"Ranma no hit! Ranma see Shampoo, and take to bed! Then we go back to China!"
"If you go after Ranma now, you'll have to take him in front of his mother."
Shampoo sweatdropped. "S-Shampoo wait until later."
The sound of the dojo door opening caught everyone's attention. A moment later, Nodoka appeared at the entrance to the dining room.
"How did it go, Mrs. Saotome?"
Nodoka turned to look at Cologne. "It went well. He took it better than I expected, although he is very upset at Shampoo. Something about it being a very bad apology, I believe. He understands what's happening to him, and said he hopes that you find a way to get the potion out of him soon. He also said 'and tell the old ghoul that if she says there's no way to get it out of me, I'll take it out of her skin.' Is that something he normally says?"
Cologne looked like all the blood had left her face. "Doesn't sound like the usual things Ranma says..."
"Ah, then I suppose he was serious. Genma, dear?"
"Uh, yes, No-chan?" He looked up to see Nodoka's knuckles had gone white from clutching the hilt of her sword.
"We need to talk." Genma felt his blood run cold as his wife pulled the sword from it's scabbard. He scrambled backwards toward the door, and was surprised to find something blocking his way. It felt like... a pair of legs?
"Oyaji..."
Akane gasped. "Ranma..."
Genma felt his blood turn from cold to ice as he heard the unmistakable sound of his son cracking his knuckles. "You're time has come, oyaji. If I don't kill you, Mom will."
-----
A/N
Ah, ha ha ha ha! I felt like cutting it off here! Ok, I'm not really laughing, but I need some sleep! I didn't get to sleep last night until 5 a.m., and I've been up since eight this morning, and it's one-thirty in the morning now!
To those who said to bring on "the juicy Ranma and Akane," jeez, man hold your horses! Go take a valium, or better yet, your girlfriend/boyfriend, and calm down! Let me write this sucker at my pace!
And for those who said I was making Akane too perfect (from her views of the Nerima Wrecking Crew in Chapter 2) Akane still blames Ranma for all of those incidents-
Akane: "Damn right, it's ALL THE PERVERT'S FAULT!!
-and she's not thinking of them as people or friends, she's just thinking of them in terms of how they behave towards Ranma. Only a total idiot (Tatewaki Kuno, for example) couldn't see that that is how they behave around him, and I don't think Akane's an idiot, just typically violent. And I think that Ranma ignoring her and everyone else for three months is a good way to make her think about things a little, even if she is completely violent.
Akane: "DIE!!"
Working on the next chapter tomorrow after work! See what happens to Genma's body! Now taking bets! Will he be killed by Ranma?! The sword?! WILL he still be recognizable as having once been human when they're done with him, or can they have an open casket funeral?! WILL he survive, or die looking like human origami?!
Akane: "HOLD STILL GOBSTOPPER!! MALLET-SAMA WANTS TO SAY HELLO TO YOU!!