How many times do I have to tell you ? No, I don´t own them.

For all of you who said that you were hoping it was still Jess's kid, I'm not so sure. It may take the seriousness out of the story…. Well, as I said, I'm not so sure about it. Be surprised!

I can´t believe I already received so many reviews, you guys are the greatest!

JanelleRae: I really like your suggestions. It really seems fitting!

Enough with the rant, on with the story.

Rory's POV:

We've just had our first real fight. I can´t believe it. Things were going great, I even spent a couple of days in a row in New York. I screwed up, why can´t I just keep my mouth shut ? It must be heretical!

Why did I push this ?

Flashback

We were lying on the bed, legs intertwined, I didn´t know where I stopped and he began. I felt save.

A content sight escaped my mouth. No we haven't had sex yet, although I wouldn´t complain if he tried to go further, but he would always stop before things would get out of hand.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I looked up at him and asked him for about the millionth time.

" Jess?" he forced his eyes open, looking at me.

" are you… I mean´, do you really want this?" note to self: think before opening the mouth, because suddenly he withdrew his hand from mine and his whole body tensed up, anger shown in his eyes.

I was prepared for the worst:

" Dam nit, Rory. Why do you keep asking me this?

I made a decision, I'm not gonna change my mind." he was on the verge of yelling. He got up from the bed and paced around the room.

" this whole thing is getting redundant, Rory.

Does it suck that you cheated on me ? Yes.

Does it hurt that you cheated on me? Yes.

Do I like the fact that you're pregnant and it´s not mine? No.

Do I regret taking you back, being with you ? Once again, no.

Why are you pushing this? Huh? Why, Rory ?

Now, please back the fuck off!" with every question he threw at me I was I felt like I was getting ´smaller and smaller, shrinking into my position as if I tried to escape.

I felt like crying, though I wouldn´t allow myself to. Why wasn't I letting it go?

Suddenly I lost it.

" I just want to make sure that you're not gonna bail on me once the kid is born, Jess!" I knew the second I said that, that of all wrong things I could have said, this was the worst. His head dropped . He wouldn´t look me in the eye. I would give everything to take it back.

" you've got to be kidding me. funny." with this last comment he turned around and left the room.

When I heard the apartment door close, I gave in and started crying. I haven't cried since my breakdown the day I I had come back from London. All these emotions inside of me were finally taking the upper hand.

Flashback end

Dam nit. I was angry at myself, of course, Jess was right. Why didn´t I just accept the fact that he was okay with it ? Oh yeah, I needed confirmation, although I certainly wasn't in the position to ask for it.

I covered myself with the blanket, suddenly feeling very cold. I knew the situation was hard for him, so why wouldn´t I drop it? Am I being to selfish? Yeah.

He got back, about an hour later. I didn´t see him, but I heard him approaching the bedroom door.

He stopped and I could hear his irregular breathing. Suddenly the door opened and he appeared, apparently looking for me. I was still lying on the bed, blankets over my head, hidden from the outside world. I suddenly wished that he wouldn´t see me. This whole " I can´t see you, so you can´t see me either" crap.

He came over to me and took the blanket from my head to reveal my tear strained face. He looked at me for a long time before he sat down next to me and said.

" Rory, I want this. You know, I do. I've told you already about a thousand times. I just want it to be normal again. But every time you look at me, I see your guilt ridden face and I know you're beating yourself up about it. I don´t mean we should forget so easily, but I think we should start trying. I can´t be in a relationship based on guilt and you trying everything to make it up to me. I want a healthy relationship with two equals, not one being superior of the other. And that's how I feel. We're not equals here, rory. You need to tell me if something's wrong. I'm not the kind of guy who needs a declaration of love every day. You know that. That's what made our relationship special before. We just knew that it was meant to be without saying it everyday. I understand that you seem to need confirmation, and these hormones inside of you don't help it either" I smiled slightly at this.

" but" he continued, " I wouldn´t be here, if I didn´t want to Rory. I won´t bail. You should know that. After all we've been through, you still doubt me and that's hard to deal with." I was amazed.

That was probably the most jess had said in a row. He touched my cheeks., brushing the remaining tears away softly. Why was I so weak ? I was the screw up in this relationship and he was so great about it, why would I always end up crying. He was waiting for a reply, but I couldn't come up with anything to say. I let his words sink in. he was right. When I finally composed myself enough to reply and opened my mouth, he put his index finger on my lips and said.

" hush, you don´t have to say anything. Just think about it, Rory." he stood up again and left the room. I could hear him in the kitchen, probably making dinner.

When I was finally ready to face him again, I got up and followed the sounds that were coming out of the kitchen. I stopped in the door frame and watched him. He was slicing bread and the smell that filled the kitchen made my stomach rumble. He looked up, not saying a word.

I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist leaning my cheek against his shoulder blade.

" I do not doubt you, Jess. I really don´t. I'm just confused. So much happened in the last couple of months and I took my insecurity out on you. Freud would be so excited to have me on his couch. I was projecting my fear on you and I know it´s not right. I just want you to know that I'm sorry, Jess. I appreciate the things you do for me so much, I …" he cut me off.

Not turning around he said:

" that's the point Rory. You don´t have to appreciate the things I do for you, Rory. At least you don´t have to express them verbally. I know you're sorry and I know that you love me. Just let me love you back!"

Finally he turned around, pulling me into his arms. Things were starting to look up.

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