I must be dreaming, Luke thought. Uncle Louie. He heard some static, and realized that the television set in the garage was on; only it was tuned to a non-existent station and was all staticky.
He turned it off, and decided to walk outside for a bit. He looked off into the distance, towards the Town Square. He decided to walk on over to the diner. As if in slow motion, he entered it and saw none other than...Kirk. Only Kirk looked really really strange, kind of shrouded in steam.
"Come in!" the shrouded Kirk exuberantly exclaimed, "I've been waiting for you!"
Luke was speechless, but then was able to eke out a strangled "Kirk?"
"Have a seat," the shrouded figure said, kicking a chair towards him.
Luke sat down on the chair, cautiously, as if afraid that the chair was not solid.
"By the way, this is really cool," the figure proclaimed, "I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. Check me out!"
Luke raised his eyes, and saw that Kirk indeed was sitting there, and definitely not wearing a shirt. He was clad in a towel, with what could only be steam surrounding him.
"You look like you've seen me like this before," the shrouded figure stated.
"Well, actually..." Luke began, remembering the time he bargained for the Twickham House with the town elders in a steam room.
Geez, this must all be a figment of my imagination, Luke thought, shaking his head.
The Kirk-Ghost of Christmas Present then stood, and said, "Let's go upstairs, man."
Luke looked at him like he was crazy. "If you think I'm going up to my apartment with a naked guy in a towel, then you've got another thing coming, Kirk."
"Oh, OK." And the figure reached behind him and put on a Santa Claus coat. "Better?"
Luke rolled his eyes.
"Look, whatever you need to show me, let's get this over with quick."
They climbed the stairs, and when they reached the doorway to the apartment, the figure stopped and said, "Just take a peek."
Luke looked into his apartment. It was devoid of all decorations. He saw himself slumped in his chair, a beer in one hand and a scowl on his face. He hadn't shaved in...weeks, it seemed, and was that a somewhat ripe odor he detected? Geez, you'd think he was Howard Hughes from the way the room looked...
Suddenly, the phone rang. Luke saw himself get up and answer the phone. As he picked it up, the caller hung up without speaking. The shrouded figure walked over to the phone and checked the caller ID. "Nardini," he said.
"April," Luke whispered.
"Actually, it's November," the figure that looked like steamy-Kirk responded.
Luke just continued to stare at the sight of himself, alone, on Christmas. Morose, sad, alone.
"My instructions were to show you another scene," the figure continued.
Before Luke could react, the figure did the hand-waving/dream sequence motions from 'Wayne's World', complete with sound effects, and Luke found himself looking into his apartment once more, but this time seeing Lorelai's home.
Luke was taken aback, because the house seemed warm, inviting and Christmassy, but the people in the house seemed sad. He saw Sookie in the kitchen, stuffing a giant goose with some sort of chestnut concoction. Jackson sat at the new kitchen table, feeding his tiny daughter, and flicking the occasional Cheerio at Davey. The Gilmore Girls themselves, Lorelai and Rory, were nowhere to be seen.
"I think she's upstairs," the Kirk-figure whispered conspiratorially, and suddenly Luke saw Lorelai, laying in her bed, in tears. Rory was holding her, rocking her in her arms.
Luke could not bear to watch this scene. Why were they so unhappy on Christmas?
"She was happy when you were together," the figure told him. "But you didn't tell her some big secret, and then she found out, and...
"I thought it would ruin everything," Luke told him. "She was so happy."
"What she needs from you is not your perfection, Luke," the shrouded figure replied. "Heck, if Lula can put up with me..."
"But how can she be happy if I have a kid?" Luke asked.
"You have a kid?" the shrouded figure excitedly exclaimed! "Wait 'til Ms. Patty finds out...oh boy, and Babette? Finally! Finally I'm gonna have the scoop on something..."
Luke shot him a despairing glance.
"Man, she loves you. You're her family now. Just like Rory is like your kid, Lorelai will love yours too. But you gotta tell her, man, you gotta say something. Don't let your insecurities keep you from what you could have."
"She's in love with me. I don't know why," Luke whispered, looking again at the distraught scene in the bedroom.
"So, do you think Lulu's happy with me?" the Kirk-figure asked him.
"Shut up, Kirk," Luke replied.
And suddenly, he found himself on the steps of the diner.