Author: LaTitle: Bad Words
Characters: Weir and Sheppard, mainly. Maybe a hint of Shep/Weir pairing.
Rating: Well, I guess T or above, although it's for langauge that isn't in English.
Summary: Elizabeth is having a Super Bad Day.
Notes: See end. Also, I meant to post this a while ago, but I forgot. No beta, and I wrote it very quickly, so constructive criticism is appreciated.

Elizabeth Weir was having a bad day. A very bad day. So bad that it needed capital letters, she thought, mentally titling it "Elizabeth Weir's Super Bad Day."

As if having to listen to Kavanaugh whine about his work being demeaned and overlooked wasn't enough, she'd had to field the worries of some of their offworld allies, deal with the problem of spoiled food in the mess, and, to top it off, Atlantis dryers seemed to have the same sock monsters as Earth ones. She'd lost so many pairs that she was down to the ones with big holes in the toes and heels, and her boots weren't meant to be worn without proper socks so her feet were killing her.

She'd thought that maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to slip away in the afternoon and take a few moments to rest, let the day slide away from her. And then John Sheppard had come back through the gate, and her plans were shot all to hell.

She stood at the head of the briefing table, watching her flagship team through narrowed eyes. How the hell could they sit there and look so innocent after the problems they'd caused...

"Would someone care to explain to me just what you thought you were doing?"

When no one spoke up, she turned her gaze to John. He only lasted a minute under her intense scrutiny before he cracked.

"I didn't know she was married," he said apologetically.

"Not just married," Elizabeth reminded him. "Married to the town leader, the man we're relying on to provide us with some much needed intelligence and supplies."

"Yes," John said. "And if I'd known that, I wouldn't have let her near McKay."

Rodney piped up at that. "Oh, so I suppose you think this is all my fault?"

The entire team turned to look at him. Teyla arched an eyebrow. "Well, you did kiss her in front of the entire village, including her husband."

"She kissed me!"

"Yeah, well, you weren't exactly acting uninterested," John said.

When Rodney started to reply to that, and it looked like things were degenerating into a shouting match, Elizabeth raised her voice. "Enough! I don't care whose fault this part was. What I want to know is why you all thought it would be a good idea to start a brawl with a number of important allies?"

"He punched me!" "I was only defending Colonel Sheppard!" "Hey, I didn't fight!" "Rodney didn't fight; he was too busy hiding."

The sound of the overlapping voices threatened to turn the vague ache in her temples into a full blown headache. Elizabeth sighed and rubbed a hand over her eyes.

"Not just a brawl," she added, cutting through their argument. "You broke Geilan's nose and his brother's leg. Not to mention destroying numerous tables at the inn. And you've probably cost us one of our more important allies!"

They all sat back in their chairs, looking guilty. Times like this, Elizabeth was tempted to have Lorne lock them all up. Pinning each of them with a glance, she mentally listed the reason she was so angry with each. Rodney, who was so adamant about denying his guilt in everything. Teyla, who had initially introduced the two groups, and as a mutual friend could have been expected to be the voice of reason, but had instead chosen to throw herself into the melee. John, who was supposed to be leading the team on missions to improve Atlantis and the state of the Pegasus galaxy, not inciting riots on alien planets.

And Ronon... well, from what she'd heard, he'd been the worst of the offenders, accidentally breaking Trayrig's leg. Plus, he was just so... so... quiet around her sometimes that it made her want to scream to fill up the silence.

That was it. Her headache was going full force, and she'd had enough. "Arraoia. Just go. I'll deal with you later."

She was startled to hear a muffled snort of laughter from John, and turned to look at him. His usual smirk was back in place, and she gave him a confused look as the rest of his team filed out.

"We should wash your mouth out with soap!" he said cheerfully.

He understood her? How? She'd picked one of the most obscure languages she knew, one which none of the other expedition members spoke, and she took pleasure in knowing that she could vent her frustrations with vulgar words that no one else recognized.

He'd probably just guessed at the meaning. "John, I don't want to talk to you right now. This day has been izorratu since I got up today and I don't have the patience for another crisis right now."

He laughed again. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? 'Cause those are some not very nice words you're using."

Elizabeth frowned at him. "You speak Euskara?" she asked.

"Only the important words."

"When on earth would you have learned it? And why?"

He shrugged. "Bedroom talk. Women seem to like foreign words."

"But why Euskara? Wouldn't French or Italian have been easier?" She ignored the "bedroom" remark, and the images it conjured up.

"Yeah, but this way I didn't have to worry that they'd know what I was saying. I could recite football scores and they'd still think it was nice."

The thought of this amused her, and Elizabeth smiled despite herself. She was still angry with him, but John Sheppard did seem to have a way of getting past her guard. This conversation, strange as it was, had even helped diminish her headache.

He seemed to sense that, and gave her puppy dog eyes. "So... what are you going to do about Geilan and his crew?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I'm sure we'll be able to work something out, but at this point it will wait until tomorrow. In the meantime, would you please work on keeping your team out of trouble? And maybe teaching Ronon to fight without causing so much damage?"

He didn't reply, just moved to the doorway. Right before he left the room he gave her a little wave. "Gero arte!"

Elizabeth sank back into her chair. Well. It occurred to her that John had never answered her question about when he learned Euskara, and she didn't entire buy that "bedroom talk" explanation. Just another mystery she'd have to figure out one day. She smiled slightly. Maybe the two of them should start talking to each other in Euskara, just to confuse the hell out of everyone, especially pains like Kavanaugh. Despite the day's events, this little conversation made her revise her earlier assessment. Perhaps today was only a Bad Day, after all.

Notes: Um, yeah, I don't speak Euskara, nor do I have any knowledge of the grammar. I pulled these words from an online Spanish/Euskara dictionary, so it's entirely possible I have the meanings wrong. If anyone does speak Euskara, I apologize for my treatment of this interesting tongue. Oh, and in case you're wondering, both of the words Elizabeth uses mean the same four letter word in English – one starting with "f." I generally prefer not to use it, but I wanted something strong enough to startle John. (Plus, the other words I could think of were too recognizable.) John's last phrase basically means "See you later."

In case you're wondering, Euskara is the language of the Basque people.