Disclaimer:

See chap 15

whir whir whir

tick-tick-tick-tick

sound of tape being pulled

Gobstopper cackles madly

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!"

BOOOOOOOM!!!

"MWA HA HA HA HA!!! EAT EXPLOSIVES, YOU STUPID WRITER'S BLOCK!!"

"HOW DARE YOU!!"

"AHHHH!!! WHO ARE YOU?!?!"

"I AM WRITER'S BLOCK'S BIGGER BROTHER, WRITER'S BRICK WALL!!"

"WELL, FUCK YOU!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, ANYWAY?!"

Nodoka smiled as she walked away from Akane's room. When she had seen her son disappear into it, curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she had listened in to the whole conversation, only leaving when she heard Ranma tell Akane that he loved her, too.

Unlike some other people around the house, she knew full well why Ranma had wanted the title he had taken from Happosai. It hadn't been hard to figure out, especially after her initial interrogation of Ranma way back when he had first been locked in the dojo and she had been the one to explain what was happening to him. She had heard it all, from Genma's lunatic training, how Shampoo had come into his life and how much she drove him insane, to the reappearance of Ukyo and her 'involvement' in his life, Ryoga, the eternally lost pig-boy, even Herb and how Ranma thought he might never be a boy again, and the Phoenix God Saffron, and his death at Ranma's hands to protect Akane.

And the wedding, mustn't forget about the wedding disaster.

Nodoka was still stewing about that one.

Her mood had not been improved by her son's descriptions of the many attempts at forced weddings by her husband and Akane's father, though it seemed that with Genma's influence temporarily removed, Soun did not seem quite as willing to force the matter.

And Genma had lied to her when she had discovered the curses by accident, telling her that they had crossed paths with a strange Chinese master, who, when they defeated him in honorable combat, had cursed them into their alternate forms as punishment.

It had taken Ranma ten minutes not to convince her to simply kill Genma when she heard that it was really from a training ground of cursed springs that could easily have been avoided, but Genma knew about as much Chinese as he knew about dieting.

And how much Ranma loved Akane, the girl who would despise him for being forced upon her, who hurt him at almost every available opportunity, who rejected him in any form, did not believe him regardless of circumstance, hated him for daring to be better than her, denied him so much as a thank you despite the countless times he had saved her.

And he had made Nodoka swear that she would not so much as lift a finger against Akane. He loved her so much that he would not see her hurt for any reason. He said that he was happy just being near her, and Nodoka believed him. It was the only reason that Akane had not found herself at sword point.

And now she loved him. Accepted him. Wanted him. Claimed him. Claimed her son.

Claimed the son who had believed that his mother was dead, by his father's convincing!

It was enough to make her want to cry.

Genma hadn't said that he loved her since Ranma was born.

Bastard.

Nodoka wanted to scream for the injustice of it all.

Maybe she should just kill her husband.

No, if he was dead, how on earth was he going to make it up to her and her son?

Well, either way, she knew that Ranma was going to teach him a lesson or two.

Like she said, she knew why Ranma had taken the title, and it was not to keep Happosai in line.

Not entirely, anyway. It was certainly a nice fringe benefit.

Ranma was taking charge of his life in a way he could not before.

The title of Master granted him many things. Authority over his own father, and Soun Tendo. Authority, if denied, could be reinforced. Painfully. For long periods of time. Often.

As Master, he had the option to declare himself head of the Saotome Clan, though he would need Nodoka's permission to do so, since she alone held the family honor blade. She couldn't wait until he came asking for that. She had a surprise for him.

Good luck making Cologne enforce her ridiculous laws of marriage and death. Why, Nodoka herself had already found a nice little loophole in it. So had Nabiki, but when Nodoka asked her why she had not told anyone about it, she said nobody had paid her for the information. Nodoka had promptly given her a thousand yen, and told her that it was payment for closing her eyes for two seconds. Then she smacked her as soon as her eyes were closed.

Impudent girl. She didn't help one bit when it came to solving Ranma's many problems. And the pictures! Ohh, those pictures!

Well, Nodoka had put a stop to that. While there was nothing she could do about the ones already out there, Nodoka had put a stop to any future releases. A simple threat through a smiling face involving a call to the police about the violation of child pornography laws for two years running had stopped Nabiki in her tracks extremely quickly, thank you very much.

Really, Nabiki may have inherited her mother's shrewdness, but where did she think her mother had picked it up from in the first place? Nodoka had been an influence in her life.

"You wouldn't," Nabiki had said, as the blood rushed away from her face, making the slap all the more visible.

"I most certainly would," Nodoka had replied. "He is my son. Not only are you not helping him, you are partly responsible for some of the mess he is in, and his fiancée. You are not even my daughter-in-law; you're just a potential daughter-in-law. It's not even a matter I have to think about. If it meant ensuring that my son would be the least bit happier, I would gladly turn you in to the authorities. As it is, I think that you can do more good outside a small room of concrete and steel than in it. Please, do not prove me wrong, or I shall be forced to find out for sure."

Nodoka knew her son well enough to know that he would otherwise have had a difficult time dealing with Nabiki. Fighting girls in almost any form seemed to be a rather great weakness for him. It wasn't very manly to have a weakness so very large. Nodoka would have to show him otherwise.

At least she had taken care of Nabiki for him, as he probably didn't know how to combat her, and Akane would probably not be able to bring herself against her own sister.

Oh, how wrong that assumption was.

Akane couldn't bring herself to directly hurt her sister, and Ranma simply didn't know how to fight someone who wasn't using something that sounded like "Martial Arts (insert random word string here)."

There're ways around everything, you know.

And while Akane wasn't nearly as shred as her sister, she still had some ideas.

Nabiki eyeballed her younger sister warily. "You wouldn't."

Akane, for her part, felt more than a little curious about the fading handprint decorating her sister's left cheek, but decided against commenting about it. "I would."

Ranma sat on the bed, with a large metal box in one hand. He had no idea what was going on. Akane and Nabiki were talking low enough that he couldn't quite make out what they were saying, and Akane had asked him not to listen in. All she had done was given him some rather vague instructions, and made him sit on the bed. He wondered idly what the hell was going on, and then decided that if Nabiki was involved, there was a chance he really didn't want to know.

But he hoped that it didn't involve pictures.

"Ranma?" Akane called loudly.

"Yeah?" he responded, tilting his head in her direction.

"Please?" she asked.

"Sure." Really, what was the point of this? It was like a child's game. He was a lot stronger than this. With a shrug, he held the metal box in both hands, and slowly began to squeeze it. There was a small sound as the back side started to give under the pressure. It was kind of fun. Kinda like an exercise in control. Collapse the box (which was easy), but don't do it fast. He thought for a second, and thought of at least three ways that it could be turned into some form of training. He would have thought of more, but Nabiki's shrieks were starting to get on his nerves.

"Ranma?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop?"

"Sure." Humming to himself in amusement, Ranma spun the slightly-bent box on a finger.

"So, Nabiki, going to go along?"

"You want me to stop distributing any pictures of you and Ranma-" not like his mother hasn't put a stop to that. Dammit, that was so lucrative! "-but you'll let me keep betting on the fights, and you want me to stop extorting money from you both, and you want me to remove any recording devices I might have in your room, the furo, and the dojo, and you don't want me to tell anyone about what happened with Ukyo, and the fact that you two are obviously getting together. Is that it?" Sarcasm dripped from her voice. Akane ignored it.

"Yup."

"No way. That information of priceless. I'm gonna make a fortune, and you're not even giving me anything!"

"Ranma?"

"Yeah?"

"Do it again."

"Sure." Really, he wondered what this was about. Oh, well. At least it beat hiding in the dojo, trying to avoid any and all human contact. The metal warped, and the bottom caved in. He kept pushing, and, per Akane's instructions, ignored Nabiki's admittedly high-pitched and panicked-sounding protests of this action. Line… line… What was it Akane wanted him to say…? Oh yeah… "Hey, Akane, 1,000 yen says I can crush this thing to the size of a baseball before anyone can stop me."

"Nooo!" Nabiki screamed. Jeez, what was her problem? Ranma began to have the idea that something Nabiki either wanted or didn't want to lose was in the box. He wondered what it was. Ah, couldn't be all that important, if Akane wasn't too concerned about losing it.

"Ranma?"

"Yeah, Akane?"

"Stop, please."

"Sure." He tried to resume spinning it on one finger, but it was now so out of shape that he couldn't find the box's center of gravity, and so took to throwing it up in the air, and catching it by listening to the sound it made as it cut through the air on the way down. Akane and Nabiki talked for another minute, and Ranma got bored, and started singing softly. This really sucked, he couldn't even read manga! Sheer boredom made him come up with an idea. He could try to guess what was in the metal box! He explored the sides, and figured it was maybe a foot and a half high, two feet wide, and a foot and a half long, before he started trying to make it shrink. It wasn't very heavy, but it did have some serious locks on the front. He held it up to one ear, and shook it. He couldn't hear nothing. Which meant it was either empty, or full of something light. Or light by Ranma's standards. Sniffing the lid only gave him the smell of metal, and a faint whiff of that perfume Nabiki sometimes used. Bored, bored, bored, bored, boring, was bored, will be bored, will be bored forever, was bored a minute ago, to be bored… Ranma started whacking the box against the bedframe, in tune with his singing.

"Yappa paa, yappa paa iinshanten…"

WHACK

"… hashagu koi wa ike no koi…"

WHACK

"Yappa paa, yappa paa iinshanten…"

WHACK

"… mune no tai wa dakaretai…"

WHACK

Ranma wondered why Nabiki was squeaking every time he hit the box, and why Akane seemed to be stifling giggles.

"Wake me wakarazu ni…"

WHACK

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I'LL DO IT!!" Nabiki screamed, interrupting Ranma's song.

"Eh?" he said.

"Ranma, can I have the box please?" Akane asked.

Ranma thought for a moment. Line… line… Akane had wanted him to say something… Damn Nabiki's irritating heavy breathing; it was keeping him from concentrating… He could practically feel her eyes on him. Line… line… Oh, yeah… "C'mon, Akane! 1,000 yen! Baseball! Betcha!" He gave the box a squeeze, causing the bottom to collapse a little more. Nabiki made a curious whimpering sound.

"Another time. Box, please."

"Aww…" But Ranma tossed the box in Akane's direction. It never made it. Nabiki did a remarkable dive through the air and snatched it before it was halfway across the room. Ranma wondered how someone who had practically no training pulled it off. Her landing sounded a little rough, though. It was, however, amusing to listen to her grumble as she stalked around the room, pausing occasionally to pick at… something… and jam it in her pockets.

"Ranma, Ranma de hi ga kureru…"

Nabiki snarled at him.

"… kimi to ate kara…"

Ranma ignored her.

"… Ranma, Ranma de nanda kanda to…"

And Akane was giggling again.

"… sutta mon da no seikimatsu… Hey, Nabiki, can I have the box? It was more fun singing when I could hit it." Hmm, musta hit a nerve or something… I wonder where she learned language like that…

Nabiki stalked towards the door, flinging it open. Ranma heard her pivot, and guessed that she was going to say something that Akane would doubtlessly not want to hear.

"Hey, Nabiki," he called cutting off any statement she had been about to make.

"What, Ranma?"

"1,000 yen says I can snatch that box outta your hands, and crush it to the size of a golfball before you can stop me."

Ranma ignored the sound of her teeth grinding before she slammed the door shut. He snickered as Akane burst out laughing, and slid back on Akane's bed until he was propped against the wall.

"Golfball, huh?" Akane giggled as she sat down next to him.

"Smaller than a baseball," Ranma replied as Akane slipped under his left arm, and hugged him, before laying down and placing her head in his lap, facing his knees.

"What was in the box, anyway? Nabiki looked kinda concerned over it."

"Looked?"

"Sounded. You know what I mean."

"She keeps a little book in it that has a bunch of blackmail material in it, and also all the money she'd saving towards college."

"You're evil. Really, really evil."

"I have to take this from you?"

"Yup."

Akane giggled, and curled up against Ranma, leaving her head in his lap.

"Ranma?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you… um, never mind." Oddly, Ranma could actually hear Akane blushing.

"What?" Ranma demanded.

"Nothing," Akane mumbled.

"Don't make me make you say it."

"Grr…" Akane growled at him. "It's just… can you keep singing?"

"Eh? Why?" It was a new request as far as Ranma had ever heard.

"You, um, you sing really well… and I…" Ranma could hear the blood rushing to her cheeks. "I really… like to hear your voice."

Inside his blindfold, Ranma blinked in surprise. Twice. He turned his head to face the window. He couldn't see it, but feeling the setting sun's rays warming his face was nice. He slid his left hand, still in it's glove, into Akane's.

"I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine…"

"Naze motto shizuka ni / 'Suki da yo' to ienai no? / Hariau to watashi mo…"

Akane happily closed her eyes, and relaxed against her now-willing fiancée's warm body. They both had the exact same thought.

I could get used to this.

When Kasumi opened the door fifteen minutes later to tell them that dinner would be ready in half an hour (it had been delayed a little, as Mousse did not know where some of the things Kasumi had asked him for were located), Ranma had finished four more songs, and was still going, now without Akane still asking him. Akane still had her head in Ranma's lap, eyes closed, with a small smile still on her lips.

"… hontou no kimochi kizukanai furi shite / totzuzen futari / koi ni ochitta…" more words followed, in English, and Kasumi could not follow them, but Ranma's voice was still wonderful. Realizing she was intruding on a private moment, Kasumi slowly closed the door, and decided she would call them down only when dinner was ready. Behind her, Ranma started again, neither he nor Akane having noticed Kasumi's presence.

"Zonkoku na tenshi no youni / shounen yo shinwa ni nare…"

"Are opening songs to anime all you know, Ranma?"

"You asking me to stop?"

"No."

"Aoi kaze ga ima…"

With the entirety of the family gathered around the table (Mousse included. He told Cologne he would keep an eye on Ranma while she went to check on Shampoo. Even Genma, who was eating slowly. Not because he wanted to use table manners, but because it hurt too much to move with any degree of speed at all), Ranma decided it was time for an announcement. He'd spent a good ten minutes deciding how to say this, using what felt like most of his brain. He wanted the right kind of remark, that had the right kind of effect, and got the point across in a manner that was straightforward, and yet subtle…

"I'm opening the dojo for classes."

As subtle as a brick between the eyes…

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT, BOY!!"

"REALLY, RANMA? ARE YOU GOING TO TEACH?"

"WAHH!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S GOING TO DO SOMETHING SO DRASTIC!!"

"OH, MY MANLY SON!!"

"WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TEACH ANYTHING GOES?! I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T!!"

Sheer bedlam. He should have asked Akane for help.

"SILENCE!!!" he bellowed.

Dead silence.

"WAHHH!! RANMA IS YELLING AT ME!!"

"HE SAID SHUT UP!!"

Soun's mouth shut with an audible snap.

Ranma smiled. "Thank you, Kasumi."

"You are most welcome."

"My ears are bleeding…" Akane grumbled, who sat between Ranma and Kasumi.

"I," Ranma repeated, "am opening the dojo for classes. Any questions?"

"WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TEACH, BOY?!"

Ranma answered his father in the way he deemed most effective, most sure to give a final answer, and in accordance with his new title.

He shoved his father's head through the floor.

Repeatedly.

Often.

Hard.

"Any intelligent questions?" Ranma asked, and splashed his father with water.

Soun opened his mouth to ask, looked at Genma's position (being face-planted), and changed his mind.

"I might have a question, if it won't make me join your father," said Mousse. Ranma chuckled, and waved at Mousse.

"Who's teaching? And what?"

"Well, the way I figure it, it depends on how many people who got attending. Let's say we end up with twenty people, all with different skill levels. I think I would be good for teaching the advanced class, I mean the really advanced class, and for advanced, I think me and you would be good along with some help from Akane ("Me? Teaching? You really think so, Ranma?!"), intermediate would be you and Akane, with some help from Mr. Tendo ("Me? I stopped teaching a long time ago! I'm enjoying my retirement!"), beginners would be Akane and Kasumi, with a little help from me and you."

Silence fell like an anvil at the word Kasumi. Ranma took it the wrong way. "What? Hey, I can think things through you know!"

"M-me? Teaching, Ranma-kun? I… I don't…"

"Don't be crazy, Kasumi. I've seen you staring when Akane and I practice. I know you want to learn. The best way to learn is to help, right? I bet you I can get you up to the intermediate classes by the time I open the dojo."

"And it took you how long just to agree to train me? Now you're gonna train my sister?" Akane grumbled.

"WAHHH!! RANMA'S GOING TO BEAT UP MY LITTLE KASUMI!!"

"Daddy, shut up!"

Soun shrank back into his seat at his eldest daughter's yelling.

"You really… you really think I could teach? Could be any good?"

If Ranma didn't know any better, he'd swear Kasumi was blushing. Point in fact; she looked like a fire hydrant.

"Well, uh, you've got a long ways to go. I know you're in pretty good shape (Akane poked him in the sides. "Have you been peeking at her?!"), but there's a lot to learn. I mean, Akane and I have got years and years of training on ya (not to mention Akane knows just about every special technique I do, now), so if you're thinking you're gonna be as good as us in a hurry ("You're comparing my skill to yours? Thank you!"), that's not really possible, but yeah, you can be pretty good, if ya try."

… a freshly painted fire hydrant.

"I'd… I'd be honored, Ranma-kun."

"Good! We really did need one more person. You're training's gonna have to wait until I don't have to wear this stupid thing over my eyes." Nobody noticed Akane glance upstairs at that. "If we had one or two more, we could branch even further, but I don't really trust Pop's training methods ("Panda no baka," said Akane), so he's out. Besides, unless we got some really, really advanced students at first, we're not gonna have to worry about that for a while, so… what the hell is that noise?"

Akane frowned. "I can't hear anything."

"Mr. Tendo, you hear anything?"

"Mm-mm."

"Well, I can. It's coming from over…" Ranma's hand went out, pointing. "There."

"Ranma, you're pointing at the tree in the yard."

Ranma scooped up an empty rice bowl, and flung it out into the tree. The tree yelled at him in outrage.

"Someone tell me they just heard the tree insult Ranma. Let me know it wasn't just me," said Nabiki, who was sitting as far from Nodoka and Akane as she could.

"Um, I heard it…"

"Me too…"

Ranma threw another empty bowl. The tree cursed him again.

"You are going to get those, right Ranma-kun?" asked Kasumi, who was looking at the tree like it was tap-dancing and spouting poetry.

"Mm-hmm." Ranma help up a large kitchen knife, ready to throw.

"Please, don't! I'll come in!"

"Bring the bowls in with you!" Kasumi called, wondering just how much life with Ranma was affecting her when she thought talking to a tree was perfectly alright, especially since it was talking back. And taking offense to thrown dishes.

"And please hurry, Konatsu, I'd like to finish eating!"

Akane blinked. "Konatsu?"

The female dressed ninja slid out of the tree, sporting a nicely colorful kimono and a couple of lumps on his head that looked similar to the edge of a rice bowl.

"How did he blend into the leaves with all that color?" demanded Akane.

"Oh, another guest?" said Kasumi.

"That must take some skill," said Soun in a mildly impressed tone.

"Aren't you the girl who was with Ukyo?" asked Nabiki.

"Who are you?" asked Mousse.

Konatsu froze under the deluge of questions.

"I love that pattern. How very pretty. Where did you find it?"

"Um, I made it. By myself," he told Nodoka.

"How very talented a girl you are!"

Konatsu blushed. "Th-thank you."

Ranma coughed. It sounded suspiciously like "boy!"

"So, Konatsu, what are you doing out there?"

"I… I left… I left mistress Ukyo. And I've been… wandering ever since. I don't really have a place to go… I was in the tree as kind of… it was habit from the times mistress Ukyo made me do it…"

"Oh, you poor dear!" exclaimed Kasumi and Nodoka simultaneously.

Ranma coughed again. Sounded suspiciously like "guy!"

"Why don't you come inside?" asked Kasumi, who, despite recent changes in her mental attitude, was still a gentle person at heart.

Konatsu looked at the people sitting around a table. One gi-wearing mustached man, who looked about two seconds from bursting into tears; one kimono-clad woman, smiling and clutching a katana; one girl who dressed a little outlandish, and was doing… something… with an abacus. Ranma Saotome, blindfolded. Akane Tendo, practically chirping with happiness ("Me? Teaching?"). A very sweet looking girl, who kept glancing at Ranma and Mousse. And a… headless stuffed panda?

Konatsu bent down to retrieve the rice bowls. "Okay."

Maybe they would accept him.

A/N

Eh, I felt sorry for kicking him out of Ukyo's. Besides, I have plans for him. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, you really got me going on this chapter.