Disclaimer:

See chap 15

Gobstopper laughs at the sight of the pebble that Shinji the Good Sharer reduced the Writer's Great Big Ten Ton Boulder too.

"AH HA HA HA HA!! CAN'T BEAT AN AIR STRIKE!!"

Writer's Great Big Ten Ton Boulder: "I… live… on…"

THOOOOOOOOM!!!

Gobstopper: "NOT THOUGH HOUOUZA'S ORBITAL STRIKE FROM AN ION CANNON YOU DIDN'T!!"

Laughs for ten minutes solid at the crater, sounding like Vash the Stampede.

Entire audience of readers share massive sweatdrop.

"Finally blue," Akane whispered as she slid the bottle back under her bed. The liquid inside sloshed around a little, reminding Akane that it wouldn't stay blue forever. Time was, indeed, critical.

Suddenly more anxious than she had been since the failed wedding, Akane fumbled around the room, feeling doubtful, embarrassed, nervous. Amazon potions were something that Ranma avoided like the plague even before this newest disaster. And who knew how many people would try to get in her way? Would Mousse warn Ranma? He had been in on it, and recently the two had become rather good friends… maybe he would feel that he should tell Ranma of what Akane was planning in honor of that friendship? Or Kasumi! Kasumi had been the one to make it! It was made right, or it wouldn't have turned blue, but Kasumi was not very good at keeping secrets, especially this kind of secret. And if Ranma questioned her, her eldest sister would spill quickly. Or Nabiki and her damn bugs! She could already know everything! What if she 'accidentally' let something spill in front of Ranma out of spite for what Akane had pulled earlier?

Hell, what if wasn't even someone who knew who ruined it?! What if Shampoo turned up and got in the way?! What if Cologne turned up, and found the potion?! She'd sure recognize it! Or Ukyo came back for revenge and smashed it?! Or her dad? Or Mrs. Saotome?

No, she'd help if she knew.

What if Akane simply dropped the damn things?! Or what if she made it all the way to Ranma, told him exactly what it was she trying to do, and he said no?! What then?! What then, huh?! Why did she have to think of these things now, instead of when she had thought this stupid thing up?!

AND WHERE THE HELL WAS SHE SUPPOSED TO GO TO FIND THE TIME TO PULL THIS OFF?!?!

Nodoka pulled the door to her room shut behind her as she left her husband to wallow in his pain.

Maybe she should just sell him to the zoo. She sighed. If she had known what kind of stupidity Genma would have been doing in the name of 'training' then she would have never let him take Ranma away. That things had come this far… Nodoka was starting to wonder if Genma loved her at all anymore, or if fear alone kept him close. He still hadn't said he loved her, even after they started sharing a room, but not a bed. Anytime she tried expressing any kind of affection for Genma, even so much as a hug goodnight, his eyes strayed to her sword, and the seppuku contract. She wondered if she could talk her son into finding that one gentleman… What did Ranma say his name was? The one with the same curse that he had… The dragon-boy… Herbert? Herbie? Something like that. With the food-sounding servants. And see if he could borrow that ladle long enough to freeze Genma as a panda.

An armless panda.

An armless, legless panda.

An armless, legless panda incapable of reproducing.

Maybe it was just time to get a panda-skin as a wall decoration. It would look nice in front of a fireplace.

Maybe she could have a fireplace put in her house just to have an excuse. Heavens knew her husband was overweight enough in his human form to make his panda form look like a float in a parade.

Maybe she should take her departed father's advice and divorce him, no matter how traditional she was. She was only 34, and might stand a good chance of finding another man. She had held onto her looks very well, as was evidenced by the nice young men who often would ask her out (the ones who weren't intimidated by the katana, that is). And even if she remained single, she knew in her heart she could be content knowing that Ranma was such a man as to make any woman proud to be able to look at him and say "That is my son." Besides that, being a single woman again sounded better than being the wife of a lying, scamming, terrified, only-out-for-his-own-skin thief of a martial artist. Really, she had just finished… questioning… him about the origins of the sealed Yama-sen ken and Umi-sen ken techniques of the Saotome School of Anything Goes… and he had lied yet again! Describing them as merely applications of "the master's theories" that had turned out too powerful for conventional use! Ohh, the nerve of him!

He obviously hadn't considered that she might have found his journal by this point. A fact she quite easily proved, by reading to him from it.

Techniques designed to either break into or sneak into someone's home to steal from them! And he encouraged this line of thought with other martial artists! He gave (sold) the Yama-sen ken scroll to some poor, struggling family, whose dojo was falling apart, so that they could learn to steal from other people!

And he had betrothed her son (she could no longer think of Ranma as their son) to other girls that they didn't know about! She counted five more families out there, somewhere, that Genma had promised to marry Ranma to their daughters in exchange for one thing or another, ranging from partnerships in restaurants to food carts!

No, wait… that was the Kuonji girl…

Four other families, then.

But still! The absolute, depraved, deranged, nerve of him-!

"Auntie Saotome?" a voice said, cutting into her inner monologue.

Nodoka looked up from her place in the hall, of leaning against her bedroom door, to find Akane looking out her room, and apparently nervous.

"Yes, Akane? Can I help you with something?" Maybe you can help me skin a panda-man!

"Um… can we talk?" Akane asked, gesturing to her room.

"Of course," Nodoka said, and padded down the hall to Akane's room.

"Now, dear, what is it? You do look extremely nervous." Nodoka sat on Akane's desk chair, while Akane was sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"Well, um, it's about Ranma…"

"Is something wrong with him? Other than what I know of?" If it's another crazy side-effect from another of Genma's lunatic training experiments-!

"No, no!" Akane said quickly. "It's just… well, I kind of…"

"Love him?"

Akane blushed heavily. "Y-yes."

"Oh, how wonderful. I do hope this isn't concerning an on-the-way grandchild, is it?" Nodoka's anger at her husband was temporarily forgotten in lieu of discussions of her son's ever-growing and proven (to Nodoka) manliness.

Akane's blush managed to grow even redder. "No! We haven't done that!" And even if we had, I wouldn't be talking about it to his mother!! I wouldn't talk about it to anyone!!

"No? I would think that my son would be manly enough to please his fiancée, or has he talked you into sharing him?"

"It's not like that!" Akane said heatedly. Where does she get these ideas?! "Ranma's very manly! He wants to wait until we're properly married before we do anything like that! He… he honors me like that!"

Nodoka tilted her head to the said in thought. "So… my son… has control enough… around the girl he wants… to let her say when, so she is comfortable with him! How very manly of him to do so!"

Akane blinked. Does she twist around everything she hears to fit that idea?

generally yes she has the weirdest ideas of what manly is how would peeking at girls who are bathing be manly?

Ah, him. Almost forgot about him, he's been so quiet lately, Akane thought, while trying to think of a reply to Nodoka.

"Oh!" Nodoka declared, continuing. "That must be why he has the other fiancées! A young, virile man like my son must have needs that must be met, so he has his other betrothed to satisfy him until you are married, then he will only be with you!"

NOOOO!!!

Mental Ranma's fading voice managed enough volume to make Akane wince. At the same time, Akane's facefault yanked her right off the bed, and might have driven her through the ground and into the first floor, if her temper hadn't won the race to her emotions. She grabbed Nodoka by the collar of her kimono, and snapped, "I'M NOT SHARING HIM WITH ANYONE! HE'S MINE, AND MINE ALONE!!"

"My son must be very manly indeed to inspire such loyalty and strong feelings from a girl," Nodoka said, amused.

"Er," Akane mumbled, letting go of Nodoka's kimono, and sitting back on her bed. "S-sorry about that, I didn't mean…"

"Nonsense," Nodoka interrupted. "Of course you did. You simply spoke before you could think of a nicer way to say it, that's all."

"Well, um, I really am sorry…"

"Sorry that you said it, or sorry that you yelled it right in my face?"

mumble mumble "… in your face."

"That's what I expected," Nodoka said, smiling. "Now, since I know it wasn't to tell me you love my son, why did you need to talk to me?"

Slowly, as if still a little untrusting, Akane pulled four bottles out from under her bed, along with her carefully copied notes.

"I need help curing Ranma."

Some time later…

"Before I agree to this… unusual plan of yours, I must ask you this: you say you love my son…"

"I do love him," Akane said, blushing. It was getting easier to admit, but after two years of denial, it had a tendency to make the blood rush to her cheeks.

"I accept that. Now tell me. You love him, but what is he to you? A husband? A friend? A partner? A lover (Akane reddened a little more)? A mentor? Or is he just a better alternative than anyone else you've ever met?"

Akane paused, thinking for a second. That last one was just stupid, but… "None."

Nodoka blinked, surprised. "None of those? Then what is he to you?"

Akane raised her head, and found herself looking into Nodoka's eyes. "Everything."

Nodoka held up a bottle different from the one Akane had been checking. That was sat on her desk. Nodoka looked inside the one she was holding, frowning at the yellow liquid that glared back at her through the bottle's transparent lid.

"At least tell me I can wash this down with my tea."

Akane brightened, and smiled. Yes!! "Of course."

"Well, then, all that's left is, how do you plan to get Ranma out of the house? And after that, where will you go?"

The door to her room suddenly burst open, and Nabiki bolted inside. Akane snatched up the bottles and her notes, and slammed them into her desk drawer.

Nodoka stared at the speed Akane had just displayed. "I-Impressive."

Nabiki didn't even seem to notice or care about Akane's rushed actions. She looked panicked, and scared. Her eyes were wild, and sweat poured off her forehead.

"Nabiki? Are you ok?"

"Good news, bad news," Nabiki said. "Good news is: Daddy, Kasumi, and Mousse are hiding out in the dojo, so they're safe. Good news that's also bad news: Shampoo has recovered, and dropped by for a visit. Good news: she's gone. Bad news…"

"Bad news?" asked Nodoka quickly, who stood next to Akane. They both held ready stances.

"Bad news is, she left something behind after she ran for her life."

"She make Ranma angry again?" asked Akane, who hoped she was wrong.

"Worse."

"Worse?! What could be worse?!"

scratch scratch scratch at Akane's door.

It sounded far too familiar.

"No…" whispered Akane.

"Yes," said Nabiki.

"What? What is it? Martial Arts challengers? More fiancées? Giant lizards? Monsters? Demons? Big, fat, ugly phoenix birds attached to people's heads bent on pecking Ranma about the head?" Nodoka had heard from Ranma many of the things that came calling when nobody was paying attention.

"Worse," Akane said, who was trying to shove her bed up against the door. "Help, please."

"What could be worse?" asked Nodoka, who had pulled Nabiki away from the door before Akane crushed her in her frantic attempts to barricade her room.

From the other side of the door came a sound.

"Mrowr…" scratch scratch scratch

Akane turned towards Ranma's mother, looking pale. "Ranma's gone neko."

"And the last time I saw him, he was clawing at the blindfold. If he's moving around, it's off by now," said Nabiki.

A/N

Ok, so I'm kinda evil, leaving it off there after a short chapter, but hey, it makes for a decent cliffhanger, while I go to bed, since I need sleep before I go into work tomorrow (well, really, today). Catch ya'll later!