Caddie
I guess this journal entry has to have some purpose to it. My name is Cadtalina Daniels, but if you call me Cadtalina you maybe hurt. For my name that I go by is my god given name of Caddie. Just for those of you who are wondering or trying to pronounce my name it is Cad-die. Easy enough, so don't get it wrong.
Okay so I am going to explain my life to you. Now please do not turn your head in disgust, because I would have never changed it if you paid me. My father is minister of my home town. My family used to be: my father, my mother, my brother Brett, my sister Kari, and I. that was until my father decided to have an affair with Sister Maria. She is such a tramp. So that ended my parent's relationship. Brett soon began to pay more attentions to his athletics. While Kari felt the need to get away. So she would run and live on the streets.
That left me. Mother was always worried about Kari and father was always involved with the church and Sister Maria. Brett did his own thing and went off to college with a sports scholarship. I looked up to Kari so I tried many of times to find her on the streets but I failed at this. But I soon found something that I couldn't fail at. The scars on my arms can truly show how I allowed my body to release the pain. There would be pools of blood where I laid many of times, with no one knowing. I quit going to school and no one know that either.
One day I went to church to talk to my father, as a father not a minister. But what I walked in on was my father and Sister Maria going at it. I didn't know what else to do but run to get that image out of my head. I found myself at the top of the balcony looking down. What I did next I will never regret. I jumped off. My father and Sister Maria found me. I think I was told fifteen minutes later. That was when they found I was cutting myself. Then my bags were packed and I was on my way to Horizon. The same school that Kari was sent to. Into the shadows I go again.
I did some stupid things while I was at school. Such as trying to steal some knives and jumping out of a tree. What I did do though was formed a bond with adult two of them most importantly. They are Magical and Nick. Without those two I wouldn't be were I am today. So I don't know if they know this or not but they saved my life and I want to thank them, but I don't know how to say thank you. I have never had to before. I hope though that I can.
Okay, okay. Here is my letter.
Dear me,
You are just not Caddie, but you are Cadtalina. You are not your sister's shadow. But stand up to her. She can not control you, but you control yourself.
I know I don't have to tell you much, because you aren't dumb Caddie. Just do both of us a favor and allow yourself to cry. That's right Caddie just cry. It might help you will never know unless you try.
Stop your suicide attempts and cutting. Please I beg of you. Allow your mind to feel your pain finally. Caddie please allow yourself to smile and be who you used to be. Because guess what. Be yourself because everyone else is taken.
Love you thicker then blood,
Caddie 3