Hawkgirl in Wonderland
Chapter Four
As testament to my growing megalomania, I'll be making a cameo in this fic. Sorry! So will Green Lantern for that matter, but you'll have to wait and see about that.
………………………………... review:
Jolly Green Giant
14/04/2005
Signed
Thanks a bunch Missie! This is exactly what I asked for. Although the other girls seem a little…well…dopey. Why are they all taller than Shayera? Oh , well. It's not my place to complain. You're the fanfiction writer after all. You do what you do as well as I do what I do. Anywho, keep up the good work!
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Marching uncomfortably through the next dark corridor, Shayera found herself cursing her foul luck once again. She needn't have bothered working at that stupid restaurant; the uniform covered nothing. Even the shoes were too thin to be of any real use. She sighed. Her hand felt naked without her mace.
To take her mind away from the futility of the uniform, Shayera tried to concentrate on something else. The advice the bazooka-breasted waitress had given her came back to haunt her. Look out for the Jabberwocky, she'd said. What was a Jabberwocky, anyway? As if the dimension had heard her, a sign loomed into view.
"BEWARE OF THE JABBERWOCKY, DEAR!" it proclaimed in candy-coloured bubble writing. Why would I even begin to take that seriously, Shayera thought to herself. Further down the path, another one appeared.
"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE A JABBERWOCKY, YOU SHOULD TURN BACK NOW!" it read, this time with an elegant, feminine Copperplate. Shayera snorted and walked on. She came across one more.
"WELL, WE DID WARN YOU. GOOD LUCK!" it said. Despite herself, Shayera felt a twinge of nervousness. What kind of monster lay ahead?
At last, she arrived in a room that held only a long metal pole in the centre. A sign hung from it that said, in candy-coloured bubble writing, that the pole was the property of the Jabberwocky. Shayera looked around, but saw no sign of a slobbering multi-fanged monster. Breathing a small sigh of relief, she prepared to walk through to the next door.
"Squee?"
Hearing the high pitched noise behind her shattered Shayera's already brittle nerves and she jumped, screaming like a little girl. Faced with the lack of weaponry, she pulled off one of her shoes as she fell over and brandished it like a weapon. But she needn't have bothered.
It was a girl, of sorts. The only difference between this girl and all the others was that her ears were slightly pointed and she had long black wings protruding from her back. They were like bat's wings, and didn't' look all that strong. She was as pretty as the rest of them had been too, with long white hair in a puffball eighties style and vivid green eyes that turned up slightly at the corners. She was wearing a leather and metal bikini combo that would have looked incredibly slutty had it not been for the gormless look on the girl's face. She was smiling in a way that was so benign it was almost cute. Shayera felt like an idiot.
"This is the Jabberwocky?" she asked, barely hiding the tension in her voice.
"Squee!" the girl nodded, smiling.
"So this terrible monster I was wetting my pants about turns out to be yet another pretty girl. Well, that's just fantastic!" she grumbled.
Shayera turned her back on the Jabberwocky as she looked for the next door. The room was covered in shadows, except for the sliver of thin light that revealed the Jabberwocky's pole. Said Jabberwocky tiptoed around behind Shayera, looking her up and down curiously. Her breath hit the superhero's ear and gave her a start, but when she turned around she found only the smiling face of the monster. Shayera smiled back awkwardly. The Jabberwocky wasn't scary, to be sure, but she was a little creepy.
"The exit has to be around here somewhere," whispered Shayera, turning back to the task at hand.
"Squee," whispered the Jabberwocky, matching Shayera's tone for reasons best known to herself.
Shayera pondered the shadows and pondered the pole. Maybe if she flew to where the pole met the ceiling… then she pondered the whole Hammerspace™ problem and the location of her mace. In fact, she was so lost in her pondering that she didn't notice the Jabberwocky's hand creeping up her skirt until it was far too late to do anything about it.
All of a sudden, she felt two cold hands on the tops of her thighs and was sharply pushed over. Somehow between the push and Shayera hitting the ground, the Jabberwocky had captured her panties and was flying away with them. Shayera was in the unusual ( and unenviable) position of being both mortified and enraged at the same time.
"Squeeheehee!" cackled the Jabberwocky.
Shayera flew after the monster, alternating between yelling obscenities and trying to pull down the hem of her skirt.
"Get back here, you little pervert!" she screamed.
They reached the top of the pole, which was shrouded with clouds and apparently it was nightfall. But Shayera had worked herself into such a rage that she didn't care to look around. And then, just when she thought she'd caught up with the beast, her arm disappeared.
That's not a misprint. The Jabberwocky's arm disappeared. Really.
And it was the one holding Shayera's panties, a fact that didn't escape her attention.
"Wha… what did you do with my underwear?" she cried, suddenly horrified. The last time she'd gone commando was to win a bet in military school.
"Squeebee!" the Jabberwocky yelled and waved her remaining arm. Then the rest of her vanished. It was only then that reality sunk it. Hammerspace™ had screwed her over again. Then it sunk in a little more. She was wearing the worst skirt possible to go commando in.
After some fruitless flying around, Shayera set herself back down on the ground and tried to come up with a solution, any solution, to her troubles. There was none of course. She was so lost in her reverie that she didn't notice a second figure creep up behind her.
"Hello dear!" the voice trilled in her ear. Shayera screamed (again) but didn't fall over (luckily.)
Right behind her was yet another pretty girl. This one was dressed in a striped furry bikini, complete with orange cat ears and a tail. She was looking Shayera up and down in a manner that made the superhero feel very nervous.
"You look very flushed, dear," said the cat girl. "Is something the matter?"
"The Jabberwocky stole my panties," Shayera blurted out before she could stop herself. The cat girl clapped both hands on her mouth and groaned in sympathy.
"Oh, you poor thing! I can't believe she did it again!" the girl trilled. "That naughty Jabberwocky!"
"Look, is there any way you could help me?"
The cat girl looked contemplative for a moment, then suddenly her tail swiped over her body and she disappeared. Before Shayera could become alarmed, the cat girl reappeared again, clutching a pair of panties in one hand.
"I found these in Hammerspace™, dear. They were an old unbirthday present that didn't fit me, but they look like they'll fit you." she warbled.
"Unbirthday?"
"Let's not get into that now, dear."
Shayera gratefully slipped on the panties under the watchful gaze of the cat girl. But once she had them on, the cat girl frowned and inspected her from all angles.
"What? What's wrong?" Shayera asked nervously. Maybe that jabberwocky had done more than just taken her pants…
"They don't quite match the rest of your outfit dear," the catgirl said, as if she was diagnosing the other woman with some grave illness.
"Oh. Well, it doesn't really matter…"
"Oh, but it does matter! It matters a great deal!" cried the cat girl hysterically. "But don't you worry, dear! Your big sister is here to help you!"
"Big sis… but I don't even know you!" wailed the startled superhero, but it was too late. The cat girl had disappeared again. She reappeared a moment before Shayera could make a run for it, carrying a small cloth bundle.
"Here you go, dear. This will match your underwear much better."
"Look, thanks and everything, but I… agh!" Shayera screamed as her short Chinese minidress unceremoniously and without warning jumped ten feet to the left. Taking advantage of her surprise, the cat girl rugby-tackled her and dressed her in the new garment.
Which just happened to be as indecent as the Chinese dress. It was a pale blue princess dress with short puffball sleeves, a wide-hemmed skirt with loads of netting underneath and a lacy white apron. Some might have compared the dress to the iconic child's dress from the Disney film Alice in Wonderland. That is, if it hadn't been about eight inches above the knee and cut so low at the bodice. In fact, it looked like something a desperate housewife might have worn in an effort to entice her husband into bed. The cat girl glowed.
"Oh, you look adorable!"
"This is some kind of joke, right?" That girl was staring at her in a way that made her nervous all over again. Then she found herself being rugby tackled again. The cat girl licked her face over and over again in a display of overenthusiastic affection.
"Get off me!" shouted Shayera for what felt like the thousandth time.
"I'm sorry, dear! I couldn't help it. You look so cute!"
"I need to get out of here! How do I find the Authoress?"
The cat girl thought for a moment, scratching her head with the tip of her tail.
"I don't really know. Maybe you should ask the Mad Hatter!"
"Thanks, but I don't want to go near anyone mad, okay?"
"Well, she's not really mad dear. It's just a name."
Shayera sighed. Her head hurt and her legs felt cold.
"Fine then. Where do I find her?"
The cat girl pointed towards a billowing column of smoke.
"Just follow the tea steam! Those girls love their tea, and I'm sure…"
Shayera didn't wait to hear the rest of the sentence. She just took off in the direction of the smoke cloud.