Hawkgirl in Wonderland
Chapter Five
We're about one Chapter from the end now. Enjoy!
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Trying not to hate herself in the ridiculous costume, Shayera hurried towards the large plumes of steam that formed in the distance. She heard singing coming from that area too, and she cursed. So much for the Cheshire Cat's assurances, this Mad Hatter was probably as crazy as they come.
The dense fog cleared gradually as she approached the source, which was a long table covered in teapots. Full teapots. There were half-a-dozen teacups on saucers scattered about the place, three sugar bowls and countless jugs of milk. Right in the centre of the table was a plate of assorted cookies and cakes.
And right at the head of the table was the Mad Hatter.
Surprise, surprise, another pretty girl. Well, she was more like a woman. Ebony-haired with high cheekbones, she looked so much like Wonder Woman that one might have mistaken them for sisters. She wore a satin waistcoat, red satin panties and fishnet stockings attached to a garter belt, finished with stiletto boots and a huge top hat. She was thoroughly engaged in talking to her friend.
The friend was blonde, slightly chubby but prettier than the Hatter, who looked rather severe. Two long brown rabbit ears poked out of the crown of her head, underneath the short yellow curls, and a small bud of cotton was attached to her tailbone. She wore a dark purple negligee and matching sandals fringed with marabou feathers.
The final figure was a younger-looking girl. Her hair was light brown, long and tied up clumsily with a silk scarf. Two light grey round ears peeked out from behind the scarf, and she was wearing a pale pink nightie. She lay face down on the table, apparently fast asleep. As Shayera got closer, she could hear the women speaking.
"Thank you so much, darling! I've always wanted one like this!" That voice was high pitched and chirpy. The rabbit-girl.
"Well, I caught you looking at mine so many times, I could tell you wanted one!" The second voice was husky and very sultry, the voice of a nightclub singer. The Mad Hatter.
"I wasn't actually looking at the lingerie…"
"Oh, you cheeky thing! Come here!"
"Eek! Oh, my…"
There were giggles and rustles of fabric from the edge of the table, so Shayera figured she could slip away quietly. She began to tiptoe past the table.
"Hey! A visitor!"
Shayera looked around. Both women were staring at her with those big cheerful grins that she had come to dread. Even the sleeping girl had woken up and was smiling at her, albeit tiredly. Shayera smiled back gingerly, waved and tried to walk way. Quick as the Flash, the Rabbit-girl leaped in front of her and had grabbed both her arms.
"You can't leave yet, dear!" she squealed. "You've only just arrived!"
Shayera decided not to struggle; it would just end up with most of her clothes in pieces anyway. She sighed with the air of someone who has suffered great hardship and allowed herself to be dragged to the table. She was seated with great ceremony beside the mouse-girl.
"Have a cup of tea, dear, and we can be introduced!" purred the Mad Hatter.
"Thanks… I'm Hawkgirl, and I'm trying to leave. Where's the exit?" Shayera blurted out hurriedly. The longer she stayed, the larger the risk that she'd end up in very little clothing.
"I'm the Mad Hatter. She's the March Hare," the Rabbit-girl gave a little nod, "and she's the Dormouse."
"Hello, dear," whispered the Dormouse.
"Nice to meet you all," Shayera said quickly, "Now, about the exit…"
"Have a cup of tea, dear," interrupted the Mad Hatter, and she poured a cupful and plopped it down in front of Shayera before she could say no.
"Thanks," she said, and sipped the tea just to be polite. "The Exit is…?"
"Have a cookie, Cookie!" giggled the March Hare as she thrust a plate of gingerbread men under Shayera's nose.
"No thanks, can you please tell me where the ex…"
"What cute panties you're wearing, dear!"
"Get out of there!" Shayera pushed down her skirt hurriedly as the Dormouse reappeared from underneath the table.
"Sorry," the girl giggled, "I couldn't resist a peek. I have a pair just like that in blue, you know."
"Those aren't yours, sweetie," huffed the Hatter, "they belong to the Hare, remember?"
"Oh. Do they? I'm sorry."
"I have to find the exit, please…"
"Have a muffin, Muffin!" giggled the Hare, thrusting a platter of brightly-coloured cupcakes under Shayera's nose.
Shayera leaned back in her chair and sighed…again. They were determined not to give her a straight answer. What the hell were they getting out of this? Then she had an epiphany… maybe she wasn't asking the right questions!
"So," she began, "what's this Authoress like?"
"Oh, she's so cute!" squealed the Hare.
"She's about three feet tall," added the Hatter.
"And she's got little kitty ears and a tail," whispered the Dormouse.
"And curly brown hair and big round glasses. She likes ribbons," simpered the Hare.
" She wears big poofy dresses and she carries a cane," said the Hatter, with one finger in the air as though she were making a vitally important point.
"And she has an Irish accent. Sometimes she meows like a little kitty," whispered the Dormouse. Then she promptly fell asleep, her face landing with a wet plop in a plate of trifle.
"And why did she create this place?" Shayera asked, appearing fascinated but in reality just horrified. A bunch of grown women ruled by a pre-teen cat girl? WTF?
"She's our saviour. She was kind enough to liberate us all from Themiscyra and give us a home here. And all we have to do is worship her," said the Hatter, fluffing up her hair.
Themiscyra?
WTF?
"I'm hungry. Will you pass me a muffin?" asked the Hare.
"Hang on a moment… are you telling me that you're all Amazons?" Shayera hissed.
"Ex-Amazons," said the Hatter primly.
"We're rehabilitated," said the Hare.
"I don't like Themiscyra," mumbled the Dormouse, still face-down in the trifle. "They're so shouty."
"She robbed you from Amazon County?" Shayera said incredulously.
"She didn't rob us, dear. We were glad to leave," said the Hatter. She had produced a long pipe made out of amber from nowhere and was now smoking it languidly.
"Why? I thought Themiscyra was women's paradise," Shayera said drolly.
"Oh no, dear!" squealed the Hare, taking her very seriously indeed. "It was a horrible place!"
"They made us do gymnastics and stuff," shuddered the Hatter. "Wrestling and football and all sorts of disgraceful things. We jumped at the chance to leave."
Shayera bit back a triumphant laugh then; Princess Massive Knockers was always going on and on about how great Themiscyra was and how elite the Amazons were. How many Amazons had applied for refugee status in Hammerspace? For the first time since she'd arrived in the weird place, Shayera allowed herself a spiteful fit of laughter. The girls laughed too, though they had no idea why.
"This must be some party…"
A low, husky voice, not unlike the Mad Hatter's but infinitely more menacing, floated into Shayera's ears, cutting off her laughter instantly. When she turned around, she nearly had a heart attack.
The woman standing at the head of the table was over six feet tall, blonde and gorgeous. She was dressed (in the loosest possible sense of the word) in a black leather basque, black leather panties and high heeled rubber boots over fishnet stockings. A cape was draped over her shoulders dramatically and a silver crown with high spikes sat on her platinum blonde head. In her black-gloved hands, she had a bull whip.
"Hi, Queenie!" trilled the March Hare with a gleeful wave.
"How many times have I told you not to speak to me in such an insolent manner? You must be punished!" growled the Queen.
Shayera watched in horror as the Queen unfurled her long whip and cracked it over the table. The tip wrapped around the fastening of the Hare's negligee and pulled back. The skimpy piece of lingerie tore off with no resistance, leaving the Hare clad in a pink thong and her bra.
"Oh dear!" giggled the Hare, as she tried half-heartedly to cover herself up.
Then, Shayera felt the cold tap of the whip under her chin. The Queen was inspecting her closely.
"So, who's this?" she said conversationally, as if she hadn't just assaulted one of the group.
"Not sure. She just turned up. Apparently she's looking for the exit," said the Hatter, puffing away on her pipe. She was admiring the Hare's skimpier costume with an odd little twinkle in her eye. So she had been listening as Shayera harped on about the exit, but had chosen not to listen. Bitch.
"Sweet," purred the Queen. "I love visitors."
"Oh, you love new playmates. Isn't that what you mean?" said the Dormouse with uncharacteristic boldness.
"Really, your manners are a disgrace!" roared the Queen. She raised her whip again.
The whip whistled as it tore across the table, right under Shayera's nose. The tip caught the straps of the Dormouse's nightie and they broke. The nightie fluttered to the ground, leaving the Dormouse in just a blue lace basque and French knickers.
"Goodness me!" she said, touching her cheek lightly and blushing. "How embarrassing!"
"Nice boobs, Dormouse. Mine are bigger though," laughed the Hatter. The Queen looked even more sadistically pleased.
"Don't tease her, I warned you before!" she yelled, and the whip flew again. The Hatter's basque was torn to pieces.
And then the whip was under Shayera's chin again.
"So, where are you going, dear?" the Queen purred in her ear.
"I'm trying to get to the Authoress," she grimaced in response. Was this woman an ex-Amazon too?
"The Authoress? And you didn't even think to pay me a visit?"
"I don't know you…"
"You know what I call that? RUDENESS!"
The whip flew, and before she could react the top part of Shayera's dress had been unceremoniously ripped off. Miraculously, the skirt part stayed where it was.
"Hey!" she yelled, and crossed her arms over her breasts. Her strapless bra was the only article of clothing that she hadn't lost, and it was a particularly nice one. Dark red, laced cups, bow in the middle, fifty dollars from a New York lingerie store. She wasn't about the let the Queen take it.
"I hate leaving a job half done," chuckled the Queen and the whip was raised once again. It would have caught the ribbon holding the skirt on Shayera's hips, but instead it wrapped around her raised forearm. The three girls gasped. No-one had resisted the Queen's flirtations before!
"I am sick of you twisted freaks trying to get my clothes off! I want to see the Authoress and I want to see her NOW!" she screamed, more at the entire dimension that at the Queen.
The Queen let go of her whip and rose slowly to her feet. Her big blue eyes blinked slowly, like a cow's. She was shell-shocked.
"No…no-one's ever talked to me like that before…" she whispered. Shayera began to fret a little. Had she shattered the Queen's spirit somehow? Then she fretted more, for the Queen was smiling.
"HUG MEEEEE!" the woman screamed, and threw herself at the superhero. They both tumbled to the ground.
"Oh, don't cuddle without me! I want a cuddle too!" squealed the Hare, and she jumped on top.
"Me too! Wait for me!" called the Hatter as she dived on top of the Hare.
"I'm all lonely now," sighed the Dormouse, and she jumped in too.
"GET OFF ME!" screamed Shayera, loud enough for Superman's eardrums to rupture though he was a thousand light years away. The women scattered, though they were all grinning happily. Shayera rose to her feet and stomped off, leaving her tattered skirt in the clutches of the Mad Hatter.
.
And next, the Authoress appears.