Author:rainyday101
Rating: R for dark themes, language, and sexuality
Warnings: This story cantains dark elements so if you don't like angst you should probably steer quite clear of this story. Also there will be slash, nothing horribaly graphic mostly just comfort, cuddles, and kisses however if this sort of thing bothers you then like i said above steer clear.
Summary: When zack winds up in the psych ward for attemting suicide he finds a new reason to live (freddyzack slash)
a/n:sadly folks we are nearing the end of this story, or maybe not so sad depending on who you are. anyways, the story was originaly intended to be zack going throught the spectrum, from being at his worst, to really realizing what hes worth. think cordelia, from her bitchy start on buffy, to her total turnaround on angel. its not quite ending up what i was shooting for, i still like it, its just evolving into something different. i pretty much know how i want to end it, so everything from here on out is tying up loose ends, and getting to the point where the story needs to be. thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, particularly the people who review every chapter, that is the only thing that kept me from getting totaly depressed with this story.
chapter 9
When Zack went home, his parents were predictably busy, doing whatever it was that they did, instead of noticing his existance, so he just headed quietly for his room.
He walked over to his guitar, and picked it up, loving the reasuring weight of it. He ran his hands over the sleek black, and gently plucked out a few chords, not really anything that would sound special to anyone else, but to him, it sounded beutiful.
Knowing that playing now would only upset his parents, he reluctantly set his precious guitar back down, vowing to play first thing tommorow when his parents would go back to work.
Not knowing what else to do, he layed down, not even bothering to get undressed, and just stared at the ceiling. Without really meaning to his eyes slowly started to close, and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep.
Zack woke up to someone on his television declaring that 'the body was in rigor mortis'. Not exactly the type of thing that he really wanted to wake up to.
Setting that aside, he decided that his first order of buisness should be to figure out who the hell had turned his t.v. on.
Ah, of course, Freddy, sitting on the floor in front of bed, happily popping m&m's in his mouth, while watching a body being dissected.
"Why the fuck are you watching c.s.i. in my room, you freak?"
Freddy looked at him, and smiled. "You're awake." Freddy gave him a quick kiss, and turned the t.v. off.
Slightly mollified, Zack rolled out of bed, strectching like a cat, before walking over to his guitar. "Couldn't play last night, the people who call themselves my parents were working."
Freddy gave an understanding nod, and got Zack's acoustic so they could play together. Freddy really wasn't that good, certainly not as good as Zack, but he wasn't horrible either, and he knew that Zack liked it when they played together. Sure enough Zack gave a small smile and started out with a beat that Freddy could follow along with well enough.
Once Freddy had tried to teach teach Zack how to drum, but that had been disastrous.
Zacks hands were small, with long delicate fingers, not meant for banging things for hours on end. In the same respect, that was why probably Freddy wasn't that good at the guitar, he wasn't used to having to have his hands in just the right place, and not being able to move his arms as much as he was used to.
Freddy had always liked watching Zack play, his hands flying, and a look on his face like everything in the entire world was okay, if only for that moment.
"Wanna go out?"
Zack looked up, saw how hyper Freddy was and grinned. "Where are we going?"
Freddy looked like he was thinking about how to say something. "The bands having a practice today, if you want to...?" Freddy said this cautiously, like he didn't know what Zacks reaction would be.
Zack nervously pulled on his sleeves, in an unconcious attempt to cover the bandages on his wrists.
Freddy walked over and pulled a small bag out of his pocket. "I have something for you." Freddy sat down and reached in the bag pulling out a few packages of black rubber braclets, and silently helped Zack put them on so that they covered the bandages.
When he was done, Zack leaned over and kissed Freddy, thanking him in the only way he could that wouldn't make things awkward.
Zack liked that freddy could understand him, without him having to say anything at all. Most people never got to know the real Freddy, the Freddy that was the best friend a person could ever have, as someone who would literaly do anything for the people he cared about.
Most people only knew him as the sarcastic, smart ass, punk rock, ADD, drummer, and Zack felt special, knowing that he was one of the few people that Freddy was really open around.
Zack tugged gently on Freddys hair, letting him know that he was okay, and breaking the serious moment.
Freddy grinned and grabbed Zacks hand pulling him all the way downstairs, and out to his car, hopping into the drivers seat. Zack was a little nervous about seeing everyone again, he didn't think that he could stand it if everyone looked at him like he was some insane suicidal person that they had to walk on eggshells around.
Ella had told him that, that was how some of her friends had reacted the first time she had tried to kill herself. Of course thinking about it like that, made Zack wonder himself if he wasn't some psycho that should be locked away in a padded cell.
Freddy seemed to sense his nervousness because he threw his arm around Zack shoulder, and gave him a one armed hug. "Everythings going to be okay Zacky, I promise."
Zack burrowed his head into Freddy's shoulder for a minute, trying to steel himself to walk through Dewy's door.
It seemed ridiculus to him that he should be having such a hard time going into a place that he had been to thousands of times before. In fact besides Freddy's house, Dewy's apartmant was probably the place that he spent the most time at.
Zack took a deep breath and walked inside, grinning when he saw the familiar suroundings, instantly feeling better.
He gave himself a mental kick for getting so worked up, over something as stupid as seeing the band again. Freddy was right, everything was going okay.