For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Chapter 4: War of Words
(Sam's POV)

"So, you want to tell me what's going on?" asks Daniel as he comes up behind me. I had been dreading this encounter and even as I made my way up the ramp I had an inkling that today was going to be the day but still I wasn't ready for this, far from it. The problem is that I'm stuck working with him here and he knows it... and even though I had been expecting this, I wasn't really looking forward to it.

"I don't know what you mean," I say, feigning ignorance, at least for the time being. I'll be damned if I'm going to let him bluff me into telling him more than he absolutely needs to know... and as far as I am concerned there's absolutely nothing that he needs to know.

"Come on, Sam, it's me. I know something's bothering you," he pushes, still not revealing his hand and I get the funny feeling that this is going to be a very long encounter... and that somehow I'm not likely to come out on top. We are talking words here and when it comes to words he has me beaten hands down.

"I'm fine, Daniel... just trying to figure out this place. The technology here is..."

"A nice diversion, I know, but you can't go on like this," he interrupts. Okay, I wasn't really expecting that one to work but it was worth a shot. The problem is that if his reaction is anything to go by then he is even more determined to get himself some answers than I had previously feared.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask, trying to get him to back down. His words are crowding me, even if I can tell that he has the best intentions.

"I don't know, I just want you to talk to me... I want you to trust me," damn, damn, damn, he is going for caring and compassionate, he is going for understanding and sympathetic and I find myself struggling to keep up my resolve. He can't know but I don't know what to do to keep him from finding out now. If it were just him I'd tell him but it's not so simple. SG-1 means too much for me to take that kind of a chance and that means that he can't know, that means there's no way I can tell him... even though there may be no way for me to avoid telling him either and that is where the problem lies.

"I'm fine, honest," I say, even though I know there's no way in hell he's going to buy that one.

"No you are not... you haven't been fine in a very long time, that's why it took me so long to figure it out," he says. I don't understand what he means... and somehow I don't think I want to understand.

"To figure it out?" I barely manage to croak. That's not a good sign. I have to hold on here and I certainly can't allow my voice to betray me... I should really have had better control than that.

"Yes, Sam. You see," he says with that calm and reassuring voice of his, the one he uses whenever he is trying to talk his way out of a hostile situation, "for a very long time I've had the feeling that there was something wrong but I just couldn't quite put my finger on it, then a few weeks ago it hit me. It was while we were on that mission to P3M-622... I think. Even though it was an uninhabited planet and the chances of us actually getting attacked were basically nil, Jack still insisted that we keep watch."

"We always keep watch," I say, trying to divert his attention, trying to get him to focus on that mission, trying to turn this into yet another debate about paranoia and military procedure... trying to get him to focus on anything but what I fear he may be getting to.

"Yes, I know, but the thing is that while we usually have to pay attention to what's going on around us because our lives may very well depend on it, in that particular case the greatest threat was falling asleep when we weren't supposed to."

"So?" I ask. There's no way I'm getting out of this one and I really don't have a clue as to what is about to happen here.

"So I decided to try and tackle a problem that had been bugging me for a while. How long have you been having nightmares?" he asks suddenly, point blank. Is that what this is all about? Well at least now I have an inkling as to what's going on, how much he knows and as bad as the situation is, that gives me some hope. If this is only about the dreams then maybe I can contain it... explain it away somehow without having to come clean.

"I don't know, everyone gets them sometimes I guess... besides, I don't remember having one on that particular mission," I say, shrugging his concerns off.

"No, you didn't," he confirms, catching me totally off guard. That is not the answer I was expecting, not by a long shot and it throws my whole strategy off-kilter... again. I had feared that maybe I had said something in my sleep, that is a possibility I've been dreading for some time, but apparently that was not the case, so what on Earth, or whatever planet we happen to be on, is going on here?

"Okay, now I really don't understand," I say, not having to feign the perplexity in my voice... maybe that's going to have to be the way for me to play this one... by ear.

"Well, the way I see it you've had a few nightmares during some of our missions... not that you are alone in that department. The thing is that I was watching you sleep and..."

"Are you planning on getting anywhere near the point any time soon? I mean, we have work to do," I say, growing increasingly defensive and knowing that I'm digging my own grave here.

"I know, but the way I figure it we have almost six hours before Jack and Teal'c come back," he replies. I know he's right about that unless we run into some trouble... but given the characteristics of this particular planet we both know that's unlikely. Jack and Teal'c are going to be avoiding us like the plague until the time comes for them to start nagging us to go home. I fight back a sigh, knowing that I can't let him see that he is getting to me... even though I suspect he already knows that much.

"So, now you are worried because I didn't have a nightmare?" I ask, even though the question doesn't seem to make much sense. Sometimes I wonder how Daniel's mind works. He has the ability to make some pretty unusual connections... and usually come to the correct conclusions. That's always been an important asset for our team but right now I'm having a hard time trying to see it as a good thing.

"No, of course not, but that got me thinking. Back in our first few missions I was having trouble sleeping, I kept seeing Sha're with her eyes glowing... and let's just say that the incident with Hathor didn't exactly make things better for me in that regard. The thing is that I've had nightmares ever since I joined SG-1 and the same goes for Jack, but I hadn't noticed that yours didn't start until after we had already been through several missions together."

"I've always had them, Daniel, just because they don't happen every night doesn't mean they are a new development," I say, and the best part is that I'm not lying about that... at least not entirely. I've always had a few nightmares every now and then, they've just taken on a brand new form lately.

"Maybe... if it had been just the nightmares I would have let it go. You are right, you don't have them every night and you are entitled to a few ghosts, just like everyone else, but the thing is that what I saw in P3M-622 was something entirely different. You see, I was thinking back to our very first night sleeping under the stars in an uninhabited planet. Do you remember?"

"Yes, it was on P6V-239 and it was wonderful," I say, smiling at the memory. "I mean, on a rational level I had known all along that we were on another planet but seeing the stars at night suddenly made it seem so real."

"You actually fell asleep watching them," he reminds me out of the blue and I wonder what he's getting at.

"So, what does that have to do with anything?"

"It has to do with how you sleep."

"You've been keeping an eye on how I sleep?" I repeat, not even sure I heard that one right.

"Okay, when you put it like that it does sound kind of twisted but basically, yes. You see, what I remember was how on that first night you were lying on your back, stretched under the stars... as you were during our first few missions, but lately you've been curling up to sleep."

"Is that it?" I ask, trying to follow his reasoning without much success.

"I know it sounds silly but you know it's not, so you want to tell me what happened? As far as I can tell, the change can probably be traced back to our trip to Simarka."

"Well, let's just say that after what... Turghan... did to me sleeping on my back just wasn't a very appealing option... especially not on the ground. I mean, you do remember me basically spending a couple of weeks flat on my stomach after we came back, don't you?" I ask, seeing a tiny little opening and seizing it immediately.

"I remember... and I know it wasn't fun, but what does that have to do with what's going on now? Are you still in pain?"

"No, I'm fine, I'm just saying that..."

"Are you just talking about being beaten or did something else happen on that planet?"

"I don't know what you mean," I say, crossing a line I had been trying to avoid. Up until now half truths had been enough.

"Don't lie to me. Something happened on that planet, something that's still bothering you to this day."

"Daniel, let it go. It was a long time ago and I'm fine."

"Somehow I don't think so," he pushes.

"Don't you think you are making a big deal out of basically nothing? I mean, all I did was sleep in a different position!"

"Yes, but there's more to it than that and we both know it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we all have our favorite sleep positions and we are not likely to change them for no apparent reason. You have changed yours and since it's not something adults do for no apparent reason I'm assuming that there is a reason, even if it's not immediately apparent."

"It's nothing, Daniel, really."

"Somehow I don't think so."

"Well, somehow I don't care," I say, finally snapping. Who knew Daniel could be this stubborn... okay, so maybe I knew but somehow I never thought I'd find myself in this position and I'm finding I don't like it, not at all. The problem is that I don't think snapping at him is going to get him to back down, not this time around. A look into his eyes tells me I'm right about that, not only is he not backing down but he is looking at me with a level of understanding that really frightens me here... and I realize that the game is basically over and I'm going to lose this match.

"It's okay, Sam, I know you were abducted while you slept, it's only natural for you to feel somewhat uneasy when sleeping off-world, it's just that I hate that we never noticed that there was something bothering you, maybe if we had..."

"I'm fine, Daniel, honest, "I interrupt him. "Yes, it was bad, I won't deny it, but it's over... it's over. Simarka wasn't a picnic but it was several months ago."

"It's not over. You are still having trouble sleeping, that much is obvious... and somehow I don't think you would have been fighting me this much here today if the only thing you were keeping from us were a few nightmares so what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing, Sam, what are you hiding? What is it that you don't want me to know?"

"Please, Daniel, let it go."

"We were too late, weren't we?"

"What?"

"You heard me. Turghan, he did more than just beat you, didn't he?"

"Please stop."

"Why wouldn't you tell us?"

"I couldn't... I can't. Please, Daniel, you have to let it go," I insist, looking around dreading what would happen if the Colonel were to come back now.

"Let us help you."

"No, please. Don't you understand? No one can ever know."

"But Jack..."

"Especially not the Colonel. You have to promise me that you won't tell him, please," okay, I'm begging now and that's not good but the problem is that even though Daniel means well, he really doesn't understand... he can't understand and that's what makes him so dangerous.

"Okay, Sam, if you don't want him to know I won't tell him, that's your call, but please don't push me away, please don't shut me out."

"You won't tell?" I ask, hating the fact that I'm suddenly sounding like I'm six.

"No, but I want you to promise me that if you ever need to talk about it you will come to me."

"Fine, whatever, just not now, Daniel, please... and not here."

"When we are back on earth then?" he asks and I know better than to try and refuse. He's got me now and the only thing I can hope to do is some damage control... and to do that I'm going to have no choice but to play along.

"Okay, when we are back on earth but now we have work to do," I say, hoping to put an end to this, at least for the time being. I know I'll have no choice but to talk to him, whether I want to or not. He knows too much to let this go but maybe I'll be able to talk to him in a safer environment... somewhere where the Colonel and Teal'c can't walk in on us without a moment's notice... somewhere where maybe I'll be able to make Daniel understand why no one can ever know.

"Sam, you can't sweep this under the rug," he insists.

"I'm not, but right now we have work to do and if we don't that will lead to questions... questions I can't afford to answer," I say, putting an end to the conversation, at least for now. I have a lot of things I'm going to have to figure out before our next encounter. I've lost round one but somehow I know that this was just the beginning... and I'm not looking forward to what I know is about to come. I don't know what's going to happen next but whatever it is, it is not going to be pretty, I know that much.

Author's notes: Okay, first of all thanks for the feedback, it really helps to keep this story going whenever you hit review. As for this chapter, I know that was kind of predictable (couldn't be avoided though) and I know Sam's fear seems to be somewhat out of character. Please bear with me for a few more chapters, after all appearances can be deceiving.